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Video: The iPhone for chump suckas

posted at 1:26 pm on October 5, 2007 by Allahpundit
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As Jane Fleming is to KP, so is this unholy melange of metal and plastic to man’s perfect creation. Behold the golden calf, my friends. Let it be melted down and recast in Steve Jobs’s image.

Unless they want to hook me up with a free one, in which case it’s all good.


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I don’t even own a pager. . .And that’s the way I like it. . . : )

Texyank on October 5, 2007 at 1:36 PM

As Jane Fleming is to KP

Wait this phone has bigger boobs than the iphone? Man. I so want one.

lorien1973 on October 5, 2007 at 1:38 PM

I like it. Wonder if the QWERTY would let me touchtype at 90 cps.

Also, will it run MS Office?

stonemeister on October 5, 2007 at 1:48 PM

How about a Nokia E70? (language warning) (also, old)

angryoldfatman on October 5, 2007 at 1:49 PM

Touch screens are overrated. Give me real keys any day.

Oh, and a phone that is made to be the best telephone possible and not a camera/MP3player/web browser/combination-hookah-and-coffee-maker that also makes calls. I already own a camera, iPod, computer, and coffee-making hookah that do their jobs far better than a cell phone ever will.

Harpazo on October 5, 2007 at 1:49 PM

iGod is not pleased.

James on October 5, 2007 at 1:50 PM

angryoldfatman on October 5, 2007 at 1:49 PM

Maddox rules.

Harpazo on October 5, 2007 at 1:52 PM

This looks like my EnV…. yeah the little screen could be better…
Dog

dogsoldier on October 5, 2007 at 1:55 PM

Behold the golden calf, my friends. Let it be melted down and recast in Steve Jobs’s image.

Mind if I steal this?

Darth Executor on October 5, 2007 at 1:56 PM

iGod is not pleased.

James on October 5, 2007 at 1:50 PM

The iPod is so hot it makes your pants catch on fire.

pedestrian on October 5, 2007 at 1:57 PM

Here’s the last word

Ochlan on October 5, 2007 at 1:59 PM

Beat me to it fatman ;-)

Ochlan on October 5, 2007 at 2:00 PM

From Ochlan’s link:

There you have it: the most objective comparison of two cellphones ever made. I think I’ll take the rest of the afternoon off and copy and paste text on my cellphone because I can.

Taking iPhone envy to whole other level ;)

deesine on October 5, 2007 at 2:09 PM

Damn, you be real bitter, dude. Ya gots ta get over it. Life’s a be-atch, AND THEN, ya die! So chill, bro. If da boss wantzya to have one, yall get one.

georgej on October 5, 2007 at 2:28 PM

maddox on the iphone:

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=iphone

lorien1973 on October 5, 2007 at 2:30 PM

Touch screens are overrated. Give me real keys any day.

Harpazo on October 5, 2007 at 1:49 PM

Heh! Ditto! It looks cool (in a futuristic Star Trek way), but not very functional having to constantly clean off smudges and smears unless you like a blurry view. Not to mention no tactile response.

synycalwon on October 5, 2007 at 2:32 PM

Wait this phone has bigger boobs than the iphone? Man. I so want one.

lorien1973 on October 5, 2007 at 1:38 PM

HAHAHA.

Theworldisnotenough on October 5, 2007 at 2:34 PM

Naw…

Wade on October 5, 2007 at 2:36 PM

I hate to be sacrilegious, but I think it’s better.

Esthier on October 5, 2007 at 2:49 PM

Sprint Mogul for the win, losers!!!!!!11!!1!one

JayHaw Phrenzie on October 5, 2007 at 3:07 PM

Unless they want to hook me up with a free one, in which case it’s all good.

Just keeping it real!

geckomon on October 5, 2007 at 3:14 PM

I wasn’t wanting one, nor a new phone…but after seeing that page on Nokia 370…I want one of those. And I already have a blackberry. eck.

tickleddragon on October 5, 2007 at 3:19 PM

Samsung Blackjack beats ‘em all. It is the one true phone.

flipflop on October 5, 2007 at 3:40 PM

UG-LY!

whatthecrap on October 5, 2007 at 3:46 PM

I fell like some poor kid standing out side a toy store in his PC Clone outfit looking in at all the pretty new ‘iStuff’.

Does that pretty much sum it up, Allahpundit?

Lawrence on October 5, 2007 at 3:51 PM

Does that pretty much sum it up, Allahpundit?

AP is like Joey from that episode of Friends. He has the porsche jacket, porsche keychain, porsche car cover; he just doesn’t have the porsche.

lorien1973 on October 5, 2007 at 3:57 PM

He has the porsche jacket, porsche keychain, porsche car cover; he just doesn’t have the porsche.

Seriously. Story of my life.

Allahpundit on October 5, 2007 at 3:58 PM

Lawrence on October 5, 2007 at 3:51 PM

(spoken in monotone chorus): “Apple users are all individuals. We’re hip, trendy, and edgy. We want the newest, the latest and greatest. Don’t be a drone for Bill Gates…instead, let Steve Jobs tell you what cool is. Be one of us…one of us…one of us….”

James on October 5, 2007 at 4:01 PM

This smokes that gay lil’ Iphone

TheSitRep on October 5, 2007 at 5:06 PM

How many people will be run over watching CARS as they stumble across busy interesections?

Sounds actually better than the iPhone.

But can it simulate 100,000 monkeys typing randomly ro produce:

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
creeps in this petty pace
from day to day
to the last syllable of recorded time,
and all our yesterdays have lighted fools
the way to dusty death
?

Johnny Mnemonic, phone home.

profitsbeard on October 5, 2007 at 6:12 PM

Allah, you never tell us what carrier you’re using, how can these faithful hook you up if you don’t clue us in?

runt on October 5, 2007 at 6:33 PM

I got bored after a minute. I think King of the Hill is on.

madmonkphotog on October 5, 2007 at 7:25 PM

Hey if it works better than the trouble filled iphone….
I think the winners will be LG and the users.

As for the folks who bought the iphone for $400 or more…
sorry…prices for electronics do go down.

dec5 on October 5, 2007 at 9:06 PM

Again, for those not paying attention….

The XV6700.

Teh perfect phone.

There WILL be a test.

wccawa on October 5, 2007 at 9:42 PM

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