Video: How Lord of the Rings should have ended
posted at 9:09 am on October 3, 2007 by Bryan
Share on Facebook | regular view
I could go into a pompous dissertation into the deeper meanings that these snotty upstarts have stripped from the classic that is Tolkein’s epic tale of heroism, courage, tenacity and selfless love. Or I could lament story changes that Peter Jackson foisted onto the epic, altering its core eternal truths in some unintentional yet profound way. Or I could wonder why more film directors don’t show the kind of attention to detail and respect to their foundational material that Jackson lavished on the LOTR trilogy.
Yeah, I could do all that. Or I could just say “Air power rulez!!!11!”
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Blowback
Note from Hot Air management: This section is for comments from Hot Air's community of registered readers. Please don't assume that Hot Air management agrees with or otherwise endorses any particular comment just because we let it stand. A reminder: Anyone who fails to comply with our terms of use may lose their posting privilege.
Trackbacks/Pings
Trackback URL
Comments
Comment pages:
How Genesis could have ended:
“And the Lord saith, upon discovering the transgression of the first man and woman:
‘I thought I told you two NOT to eat of the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil!?‘
So the Lord reduced Adam and Eve back to clay for their disobedience.
Then tooketh a nap.”
The End“
profitsbeard on October 3, 2007 at 9:20 AM
Only thing missing: Giant mushroom cloud as teh Mordor is meltified.
hillbillyjim on October 3, 2007 at 9:20 AM
I am sure that TV could still drag it out to 4-5 hours with commercials.
ej_pez on October 3, 2007 at 9:26 AM
“How it Should Have Ended” the website.
Memnon on October 3, 2007 at 9:40 AM
Or you could say, “Dude… this one is so old it came out during the First Age of LOTR spoofs.”
Tolkien geek? Me?
Naaaaaaaah.
Meryl Yourish on October 3, 2007 at 9:42 AM
Flying into Mordor only works if the Nazgul are extinguished. [/nerdery]
Hoodlumman on October 3, 2007 at 9:45 AM
Hoodie’s right. THey needed to establish air superiority first before the bombers could go in without resistance.
Sensei Ern on October 3, 2007 at 9:53 AM
Heh! That was pretty funny.
Yakko77 on October 3, 2007 at 9:54 AM
If I remember my Tolkien nerd days correctly, the eagles were servants of Manwe, and were forbidden to intervene directly in human affairs by Eru (the One God) until the Ring was destroyed. Basically it’s a reflection of Christianity’s understanding of the Fall. Mankind/Elves/the Children of God are separated from God/gods/Valar, as a result of the sins of the former. Thus, they are more or less on their own, with a few exceptions (Gandalf comes to mind). Yes, I spent entirely too many hourse in high school reading Tolkien.
Also, Bryan, curious as to how you think Jackson altered the “eternal truths” of LOTR? I certainly have some problems with the movies, but I think he got the themes basically right.
WillBarrett on October 3, 2007 at 9:59 AM
like Meryl, I’m pretty ashamed that my first thought upon seeing this was ‘oooooold.’
i think i should try going outside sometimes.
AdrianG on October 3, 2007 at 10:01 AM
I agree, that was really good and funny.
Of course, Ring purist would point out that there were 9 flying ringwraiths who could have opposed the onslaught of the Galdalf One (which appeared to be carrying more passengers than applicable FAA regulations permit)… so…
the Fellowship might have needed some escort fighter birds to take out the first phalanx of flying ringwraiths…
and of course they’s have to fly LOW, beneath Sauron’s sophisticated air defense system over Mordor, breathing in the noxious fumes of the wastelands inside the Plains of Gorgoroth, meaning some sort of oxygen tanks and breathing apparatus….
I dunno, maybe Jackson COULD have squeezed three movies out of it afterall.
Always Right on October 3, 2007 at 10:02 AM
Tolkien just rolled over in his grave. But still good for a laugh.
Now when is the “How Amnesty Should Have Ended” version coming out?
Numenorean on October 3, 2007 at 10:15 AM
Oh, you purists forget that the Nazgul were riding horses back then, not the flying mounts they had in The Two Towers and Return of the King. Note that this happens 15 minutes after the meeting at Elrond’s Court, where the Nazgul were just handed a defeat and had all their neato horsies drowned.
So yes, this is entirely feasible.
Nethicus on October 3, 2007 at 10:17 AM
Very nice!! Glad the crews caught it on vid.
jediwebdude on October 3, 2007 at 10:19 AM
Fans of the books have been saying as long as I can remember that the entire story could have been avoided, if one of those eagles had just dropped the ring into the volcano at the start, and thrown Frodo in for good measure.
doufree on October 3, 2007 at 10:34 AM
Remember that whole flood thing? Where God pretty much did what you suggest?
;)
Lawrence on October 3, 2007 at 10:40 AM
Problem with the eagles just droppoing Frodo into the volcano is that Frodo had to sneak into Mordor. Kind of hard for a Giant eagle just fly in unnoticed, so a Hobbit sneaking in the way they did makes a lot more sense.
As far as Nazgul riding horses versus flying the fell beasts. A horse draws a lot less attention than a giant flying lizard spouting fire, and a horse is much more efficient for nomral travle. However, in difficult terrain or in combat, a flying beast is much more effective than a horse.
Lawrence on October 3, 2007 at 10:52 AM
We all know that the only reason that the fellowship of the ring attacked Sauron is because Mordor is the number one source of oil in Middle Earth.
JayHaw Phrenzie on October 3, 2007 at 10:53 AM
Am I the only one who thought that LoTR was a waste of good wood pulp? I forced myself to read that piece of drivel because it is, after all, “teh greatest novel, like, EVER”. That’s 400 hours I’ll never get back.
jdpaz on October 3, 2007 at 10:54 AM
That was funny.
I would have changed one thing in the video. When Frodo dropped the ring and the eye of Sauron had that look of stunned silence, he should have said …..
Ruh roh.
fogw on October 3, 2007 at 10:58 AM
chasim?
WitchDoctor on October 3, 2007 at 11:17 AM
Have you, perhaps, considered a causal relationship between the first and second statements? 400 hours? Cripes, my eleven yo son read it in less than a week, and that included school and sleeping!
nukemhill on October 3, 2007 at 11:21 AM
Ok, I was exaggerating for effect on the 400 hour thing. But seriously, in those multiple thousands of pages, name one moderately interesting thing that happened.
jdpaz on October 3, 2007 at 11:31 AM
you mean “Air Supremacy”?
urbancenturion on October 3, 2007 at 11:41 AM
. . . and the winner is!
Wingo on October 3, 2007 at 11:43 AM
Horses or flying beasts, it did not matter. The lidless eye of Mordor did not have unlimited powers. It could not concentrate everywhere. That was why the cartoon had Aragorn, the heir of Isildur, distracting Sauron’s attention while the eagles flew in.
It is sort of like Israel disabling Syria’s new Russian air defense system before the airstrike on the Korean nuke materials.
tommylotto on October 3, 2007 at 11:45 AM
Very Funny!
http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/arts/al0160.html
Irenaeus on October 3, 2007 at 12:17 PM
Bryan a LotR fan? Awesome!
2Brave2Bscared on October 3, 2007 at 1:06 PM
Certainly would have saved me from a 3 DVD Box set.
Kini on October 3, 2007 at 1:23 PM
LOTR purists = Video game “enthusiasts”
Peter Jackson made the story better. He fixed many of the errors that Tolkien made in the original story.
csdeven on October 3, 2007 at 1:26 PM
Oh, my God. I think you just killed me.
9 individuals were willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for something they didn’t cause, for a world that would never fully understand or appreciate it. That, plus there’s a lot of killing of the bad guys. “Let’s hunt some Ork!”
Numenorean on October 3, 2007 at 1:39 PM
I agree that the concept is good. Heroic self-sacrifice—w00t! The execution of the concept was, in my view, less than exciting/interesting. Much, if not most, of the battling happen “off camera” while we’re treated to page after page of Frodo’s angst-ridden wearing/not wearing of his ring of invisibility/ultimate evil.
I’m glad so many people seem to get so much enjoyment/enrichment/symbology out of it. It does nothing for me. Maybe I should just embrace the fact that I’m a philistine.
jdpaz on October 3, 2007 at 2:03 PM
Maybe it’s like brussel sprouts or okra — you don’t like it now but it may grow on you later. For me, a lot of what was so special about the books was how they impacted my life. My circumstances had a lot to do with it. I couldn’t put the books down the first time through, and I try to read them every year to pep me up. In a way, they very much led me to where I am today. I bet there are other things that made you feel the same way.
Numenorean on October 3, 2007 at 3:09 PM
That’s the free peoples of Middle Earth apologist version. The official Mordor version was; the fellowship was manipulated by the Zionist agent, Gandalf.
Memnon on October 3, 2007 at 3:12 PM
Cindy al-sheehan says: Orks = Freedom fighters
csdeven on October 3, 2007 at 3:20 PM
Not as awesome as being a Firefly/Serenity fan!
geckomon on October 3, 2007 at 4:57 PM
Tolkein was a grunt in WWI. I’m sure he would have favored the Marines!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
/s/
Mr guerilla
josetheguerilla on October 3, 2007 at 5:35 PM
Air force guys are lovin’ that one.
Mojave Mark on October 3, 2007 at 7:54 PM
Almost funny but not really because if you actually watch the movies it is very clear they never had air superiority or control of the battlefield at all, at any point. Elrond even emphasizes any military attempt is doomed and thier only option is a stealth mission. Just because the use of air power isnt seen in the first of the 3 films doesnt mean it didnt exist, clearly Gondor was at war and had to deal with it long before.
Resolute on October 3, 2007 at 9:10 PM
Actually airpower doesn’t seem to have much of a role in the long standing war between Gondor and Mordor. The only air power Mordor has that is ever seen or mentioned is the Nazgul, and they don’t get their wings until the Two Towers, very late in the war.
I am a big Tolkien fan, but unfortunately his use of the Eagles, both in LotR and in the Hobbit, smacks of deus ex machina.
Jackson’s movies were on the whole inferior to the books, especially the way he treats the characters, but his films did have some good moments.
As far as those who do not like LotR, I have only one thing to say: Infidel!
Lancer on October 3, 2007 at 9:36 PM
Even shorter way to end Genesis:
csdeven on October 3, 2007 at 1:26 PM:
In fact, Tolkien intensely disliked even the idea of messing with his stories. Tolkien would be at the head of the purists. But he also thought that any interest beyond reading and discussing his stories was unhealthy. Really.
jdpaz on October 3, 2007 at 11:31 AM:
When I first read the book, Merry’s killing the Nazgul king was a shock. It’s much more interesting in the book because they left important details out of the movie. Merry’s sword was effective only because it was from Numenor and had been given to him by Tom Bombadil. An ordinary sword like Eowyn’s (or probably even Aragorn’s) would have had no effect if it hadn’t been helped by something like Merry’s sword. If you haven’t read the book, there’s more detail there.
JimC on October 4, 2007 at 1:10 AM
Comment pages: