/Sorry about that.

cheers

eon

Apeking on October 3, 2007 at 9:07 AM

But then again “Raiders” had Nazis digging up British-controlled Egypt.

In (roughly) mid-spring to early summer of 1936, two years before Munich (summer 1938). At the time, Stanley Baldwin’s Conservative government was trying very hard to avoid appearing “antagonistic” to Germany, both due to the upcoming Berlin Olympiad and their own internal problems, namely dealing with Edward VII’s abdication.

Baldwin was not likely to make waves over anything happening in Egypt short of attempts to provoke outright rebellion by the Egyptians against British rule, and even if he had “taken official notice” of the various antics (road chases, machine-gunnings, etc.) it would have been “officially” written off to “banditry”, an old excuse in the area. Mainly because raising a fuss could have gotten Baldwin a vote of “no confidence” in Commons, and gotten him sacked, in favor of the Commons Leader of his own party, who was even then angling for his job (the PM’s seat), and would get it in the general election of May 1937. Namely, one Neville Chamberlain.

And besides, with Belloc in charge, I’m sure it was “officially” a French expedition. All those German-speaking lads with automatic weapons? Simply hired guards, mon ami’, nothing more.

(I can’t believe I’m analyzing the geopolitical context of Raiders Of The Lost Ark………….)

cheers

eon

Whoa-

LOL!

They need to get Indy into another realm entirely …via a Crystal Skull that opens a dimensional rift into a world where, as in P.K. Dick’s novel “The Man in The High Castle“, the Nazis and Japanese won WW II, perhaps?

The world’s dusty arcana has been exhausted by this series.

A new locale would provide opportunities for fresh thrills.

And Ford’s age wouldn’t make him seem so earthbound.

A better idea would be recasting the role and moving it back to the Thirties, where Indiana Jones really belongs. As for an actor to play a younger “Indy”, how about either Ben Affleck or Keanu Reeves?
Ugh, I do NOT want to see ‘Neo Jones and the Overused Catchphrase.’

“Whoa…they’re digging in the wrong place.”

“Whoa…chilled monkey brains.”

“Whoa…he chose poorly.”

James on October 3, 2007 at 10:14 AM

It could be worse. He could be cast to play a role in Much Ado About Nothing… oh wait! He was!

Well at least he wasn’t cast to play a french music instructor in Dangerous Liasons… oh damn! There he is again!

Right on the heels of an extra leaking all sorts of spoilers, someone steals some artifacts. Computers and photographs for director Steven Spielberg’s upcoming fourth……

A better idea would be recasting the role and moving it back to the Thirties, where Indiana Jones really belongs. As for an actor to play a younger “Indy”, how about either Ben Affleck or Keanu Reeves?

Ugh, I do NOT want to see ‘Neo Jones and the Overused Catchphrase.’

“Whoa…they’re digging in the wrong place.”

“Whoa…chilled monkey brains.”

“Whoa…he chose poorly.”

He’s now old enough to play Indiana Jones’ grandfather.

Indiana Jones and the Lost Vial of Prune Juice?

Indiana Jones and the Home of Lost Bedsores?

Indiana Jones and the Secret of the Blue Pill?

/sigh

Oh my heavens. This is going to be like those interminable scenes in the “Star Wars” remakes where we are subjected to awful music whilst some CGI creates play imaginary instruments. I can imagine this film being marketed as a comedy in Russia.

“Putting Indy up against the Soviets (probably in a post- World War two scenario) is a staggeringly bad idea.”

Funnily enough, it was the plot of a computer game “Indiana Jones and the Infernal Machine”. It didn’t feel right for Indiana Jones to be going on about dirty commies etc; it came too close to Dr Strangelove.

“in the late 1940s an attempted Soviet incursion into Latin America would have provoked a U.S. response considerably more emphatic than one aging archaeologist with a .44 Smith & Wesson and a bullwhip”

But then again “Raiders” had Nazis digging up British-controlled Egypt. I don’t think that the Indiana Jones films are set in our world.

Russian Rule; When an aging action star gets beyond the age of being believable in action roles, he will begin playing sympathetic Soviet-era Russian military officers who are not actually Communists. Examples; Sean Connery in The Hunt For Red October, Harrison Ford in K-19; The Widowmaker. (Double points for playing a submarine commander.)

Putting Indy up against the Soviets (probably in a post- World War two scenario) is a staggeringly bad idea. Other than the fact that the Soviets would be unlikely to be hunting for mystical artifacts in South America (the most likely source of a “crystal skull”, going back to Aztec, Mayan, and Olmec iconography as per the “Mitchell-Hedges” artifact), in the late 1940s an attempted Soviet incursion into Latin America would have provoked a U.S. response considerably more emphatic than one aging archaeologist with a .44 Smith & Wesson and a bullwhip.

A better idea would be recasting the role and moving it back to the Thirties, where Indiana Jones really belongs. As for an actor to play a younger “Indy”, how about either Ben Affleck or Keanu Reeves?

(As I understand it, they could use the work.)

P.S. to any cultural anthropologists in the audience; Yes, I know that in the context of referring to a man-made object, it’s “artefact”, not “artifact”, but my spell-checker gets stubborn about that.

cheers

eon

EXT. EGYPT. DAY.

River Phoenix (digitally inserted from t.v. series “Young Indiana Jones”) is tapdancing on the top of the Sphinx.

Sound: A faint buzzing sound growing louder and LOUDER.

CUT TO:

INT. JAIL CELL IN CAIRO. NIGHT.

PROFESSOR INDIANA JONES rouses …and swats BUZZING fly dead.

ECU- The older face of INDY waking from this Sphinx dream.

INDY

“What walks four legs, then two legs, then three
legs?”

FADE OUT.

The End
_________________________________________________________

billy on October 2, 2007 at 10:25 PM

-
Anything to do with Indiana Jones is hard news, in my opinion, with a rippling effect on the world stage. Why? It’s Indiana-effing-Jones! lol.
-
Except I’m not sure if I should read the spoilers or not… Back in my Star Wars freak days, I read the entire Episode 2 script online a year and a half before the movie was released. It rather ruined it all.
-
I think I’ll wait.

The servers were then nailed into a crate and filed away in an seemingly endless warehouse….

I’ll go see it only if Indy Says “Jihadis. I hate these guys.”

Tony737 on October 2, 2007 at 10:32 PM

I am hoping that is on the marquee poster.

And for additional fun – Scooby doo

billy – Lighten up, Francis! the LOTR reference is a shriek for help! :)

Let’s see, where was I?

CrimsonFisted on October 2, 2007 at 10:30 PM

Dammm, Crimson, you beat me to it! And the exact reference to Stripes, too! Touche!

Let’s see, where was I?

Indiana Jones and the Mighty Graybeards

Indiana Jones and the Creaky Joints Join Josie and the Pussycats to Search for Scooby Doo