Report: Japanese restaurant lets you have your, er, “cake” and eat it, too

posted at 4:39 pm on September 17, 2007 by Allahpundit

Via InventorSpot, after all the kitsch, all the quirky yet compelling music videos, all the freaky-double-deaky robots, and all the free-floating cultural eccentricity that could transform a fascist imperialist power into this in the span of 60 years, Japanese weirdness at last reaches escape velocity.

Exit question: Urban legend, right? Right?

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Check out the book “Pink Samurai” – it’s something of anthropological look at sex and love in Japan down through the ages. If you think pig porking is weird, just wait til you read that book.

Mindcrime on September 17, 2007 at 4:42 PM

Gah!

frankj on September 17, 2007 at 4:42 PM

Has to be fake, one way or another. It takes hours to roast a pig.

Tanya on September 17, 2007 at 4:43 PM

Please God let that be an urban legend, that is nasty.

Bad Candy on September 17, 2007 at 4:44 PM

And why wasn’t Tokyo nuked?

Christoph on September 17, 2007 at 4:45 PM

Incidentally, prices range from 200,000 yen to 500,000 yen for a chicken, dogs cost somewhere between 300,000 yen and 800,000 yen, while pigs and goats start at around 800,000 yen. Charges are higher depending on whether the creature is female and how active it is.

A yen is worth a bit less than one cent.

I really doubt that even the weirdness magnet that is Japan is home to rich idiots willing to pay four thousand dollars to boink a chicken.

Well-Armed Lamb on September 17, 2007 at 4:48 PM

Uh, ewww….

amerpundit on September 17, 2007 at 4:48 PM

Although I would guess that there are even sicker things that happen that we will never know about, this is vile if true.

bbz123 on September 17, 2007 at 4:49 PM

I’m not the least bit surprised if it is true. It’s Japan. The freakiest deakiest sexually perverted nation in the world.

SilverStar830 on September 17, 2007 at 4:50 PM

…dogs cost somewhere between 300,000 yen and 800,000 yen…

Michael Vick, call your office!

DaveS on September 17, 2007 at 4:51 PM

The English portion of the Mainichi Daily is written by ex English Teachers (as in not real English teachers like you’d find in the States, but young college graduates who still have their heads firmly situated up their tuckuses). So, I’d take anything written in it with a huge grain of salt.

Still, when a particular subsect of Japanese culture gets eccentric, it really goes all the way, and then some.

Mindcrime on September 17, 2007 at 4:54 PM

Roppongi’s bestiality restaurant is being regarded by its main nouveau riche patronage of young company presidents and venture capitalists as a decadent practice only possible among the wealthy.

Umm, the wealthy, and lonely shepherds/swineherds/poultry farmers everywhere in the world. And Larry Flynt.

see-dubya on September 17, 2007 at 4:55 PM

Ummmm Pork is the “Other” white meat ?

Sorry couldnt resist

William Amos on September 17, 2007 at 4:55 PM

I’m not the least bit surprised if it is true. It’s Japan. The freakiest deakiest sexually perverted nation in the world.

SilverStar830 on September 17, 2007 at 4:50 PM

That bad? They do have the uhmmm ‘companion’ dolls.

As far as this resturant; if true…disgusting..vile..and sick.

Suz on September 17, 2007 at 4:56 PM

We could probably have used some of those Moonbats from DC this weekend shouting, “Oink!! Oink!! Oink”.

Twisted indeed!

HarryStar on September 17, 2007 at 4:59 PM

and we are surprised that japanese people aren’t reproducing? theyd rather pork a pig than the hot japanese girls. odd.

lorien1973 on September 17, 2007 at 4:59 PM

You know it has to be bad when the S&M chick is grossed out.

KelliD on September 17, 2007 at 5:00 PM

and we are surprised that japanese people aren’t reproducing? theyd rather pork a pig than the hot japanese girls. odd.

lorien1973 on September 17, 2007 at 4:59 PM

I don’t know about that. They just want to increase the sex/child ratio and have some fun in the process.

saiga on September 17, 2007 at 5:04 PM

So, that’s what’s in the secret sauce?

Kini on September 17, 2007 at 5:05 PM

So, that’s what’s in the secret sauce?

Kini on September 17, 2007 at 5:05 PM

Oyster sauce?

Mindcrime on September 17, 2007 at 5:07 PM

Pardon my public school English, but this is wronger than wrong.

thirteen28 on September 17, 2007 at 5:07 PM

What? No Palomino jokes yet?

Attila (Pillage Idiot) on September 17, 2007 at 5:07 PM

Oyster sauce?

Mindcrime on September 17, 2007 at 5:07 PM

What does MSG really mean…., hmmm…

Kini on September 17, 2007 at 5:13 PM

Where’s the Rosie jokes?

right2bright on September 17, 2007 at 5:13 PM

no. words. suffice.

Ochlan on September 17, 2007 at 5:15 PM

What? No Palomino jokes yet?

I’m thinking of at least two, both of which will get me banned.

see-dubya on September 17, 2007 at 5:17 PM

You can’t be banned, dude. Guest bloggers have special privileges.

Allahpundit on September 17, 2007 at 5:18 PM

Paromino!

see-dubya on September 17, 2007 at 5:19 PM

Urban legend for sure. As stated above it takes a loooong time to roast a whole pig.

Also, can someone please explain to me how exactly one would pork a chicken?

12thman on September 17, 2007 at 5:26 PM

I heard Sean Penn visited that restaurant when he was filming in Japan, but left in a huff when he found out Charlie Sheen already had his way with the last field mouse on the menu.

fogw on September 17, 2007 at 5:27 PM

The other one won’t work, because General Tso’s Chicken isn’t Japanese.

see-dubya on September 17, 2007 at 5:29 PM

Also, can someone please explain to me how exactly one would pork a chicken?

12thman on September 17, 2007 at 5:26 PM

Maybe they peck it instead of pork it?

Mindcrime on September 17, 2007 at 5:30 PM

where’s an angry PETA mob when you need it?
oh wait, i think they’ve made reservations

Defector01 on September 17, 2007 at 5:31 PM

I’ll never say “I love bacon” again.

Guardian on September 17, 2007 at 5:33 PM

You’ve been a great audience! Thanks for coming! Don’t forget to try the veal!

see-dubya on September 17, 2007 at 5:34 PM

You know they stole the idea from the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

Well, the meet-and-greet-your-meat bit.

Not the beat-your-meat-before-you-eat bit.

Mindcrime on September 17, 2007 at 5:36 PM

There was a passage in Shogun by James Clavell where the protagonist was offered the maid for ‘pillowing’. When he refuses, they try to offer him other enticements, including a ‘duck or a dog’.

Asher on September 17, 2007 at 5:36 PM

Where is Doolittle when you need him?

Christoph on September 17, 2007 at 5:37 PM

“We have to be talking about one charming mother********g pig. I mean he’d have to be ten times more charming than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I’m saying?”

see-dubya on September 17, 2007 at 5:40 PM

Thank God there’s no youtube link to go with this! The Japanese put the range in strange, but I call BS on this. Vending machines selling worn undergarments sure but this? The only thing missing is cannibalism, incest or maybe *gasp* smoking.

trubble on September 17, 2007 at 5:42 PM

Roppongi, a district or Tokyo, is known for its wild and crazy bars and restaurants, but this is most likely a joke. I’ll try to go by when I’m out there next week.

No Japanese executive is going to do what they describe. No one in that depressed economy is going to pay $8,000 for a sexed up chicken.

RightWired on September 17, 2007 at 5:47 PM

Reminds me of a Hillary joke.

Be back later after I type it up.

Dersu on September 17, 2007 at 5:48 PM

Old and busted: “Kill It And Grill It”
New Hotness: “Thrill It And Grill It”

see-dubya on September 17, 2007 at 5:52 PM

I think I had one go into moderation. Probably for the best.

see-dubya on September 17, 2007 at 5:53 PM

Everything comes with a cream sauce.

Mr. Bingley on September 17, 2007 at 5:58 PM

Hmmmmm……when was the last time Bryan was in Japan?

;)

.

GT on September 17, 2007 at 6:00 PM

Hory makrar!!

JWS on September 17, 2007 at 6:02 PM

If not an Onion piece, then the Japanese cops have to throw all of these lowlife scum in the can.

Sounds like a parody of “The Freshman” with Brando.

profitsbeard on September 17, 2007 at 6:02 PM

12thman on September 17, 2007 at 5:26 PM

japanese guys are lacking down there right? maybe its the only thing they can sass-ify.

lorien1973 on September 17, 2007 at 6:14 PM

You know it has to be bad when the S&M chick is grossed out.

KelliD on September 17, 2007 at 5:00 PM

Yeah, it takes a lot to do that. Or so I’ve heard. From my friend.

ReubenJCogburn on September 17, 2007 at 6:43 PM

Brings new meaning to the phrase, Take Out.

Kini on September 17, 2007 at 6:50 PM

So what does that place do on weekends, have a hog-calling contest? What’s Japanese for “Sooie!”?

ReubenJCogburn on September 17, 2007 at 6:59 PM

This is a load of crap. Not only this:

“I was about to vomit,” M says. “It was the same pig that had been squealing just moments before. Now, it had been roasted whole. I managed to avoid eating it by only having salad.”

As folks pointed out, it takes a full day to roast a pig “whole” as claimed.

But the real clincher is the fact that the restaurant would basically have to keep a fully stocked live zoo (with all the accompanying noise, smell, feed requirements, sanitary needs, etc)on the premises and while the beastiality thing might not be a problem, there is no way in hell that the Japanese bureaucracy is going to issue a permit for keeping live animals like that in the Roppongi district!

Fatal on September 17, 2007 at 7:45 PM

200,000 yen to 500,000 yen for a chicken

What the sweet and sour heck does a chicken have to do with beastiality?

Nowait. . . Don’t answer that. I’m not sure I want to know.

Ryan Gandy on September 17, 2007 at 8:01 PM

As folks pointed out, it takes a full day to roast a pig “whole” as claimed.

This is a place where a staple is raw fish. A slice of pig tartar would be nothing to them. If they are worried about trichinosis, they can roast a small amount quickly like they do for eel.

pedestrian on September 17, 2007 at 8:12 PM

This must be what the men really want.

kiakjones on September 17, 2007 at 8:14 PM

pedestrian–yeah, I’m thinking health risks are not really deterring the ruttin’ with yer mutton crew.

see-dubya on September 17, 2007 at 8:21 PM

It’s not going to be long before the Interspecies Rights Community will be insisting that the Monospeciesists stop forcing their lifestyle choices on everyone. PETA will be the only nay-sayers here.

eeyore on September 17, 2007 at 8:28 PM

Heh, we had liberty call in Rio and, uh, the burro shows, well, ’nuff said.

Alden Pyle on September 17, 2007 at 9:07 PM

Dinner date is the dinner

Kini on September 17, 2007 at 9:09 PM

Brain bleach!

AP where is the brain bleach!!!!!

Next time please have a “brain bleach needed” warning!!!
Thank you!!

Mcguyver on September 17, 2007 at 9:45 PM

I’m surprised no one made a Restaurant at the End of the Universe connection. Arthur Dent makes the acquaintance of the cow (talked to it, not had sex with it) that his steak will be made from. The cow tells him where the best cuts of meat are. Naturally, Arthur becomes quite conflicted after having had a conversation with the cow. No Douglas Adams fans? Ah well.
The sex angle is pretty gross. Gotta give the guy (if this is true) credit on this idea. He’s fleecing people for the honor of boinking a barnyard animal. In the bad old days, that was generally a crime of opportunity perpetrated by the desparate in the darkest hours, albeit for free. I mean, if somebody wanted to pay me a hundred bucks to boink my tennis shoe, hell, I’d let him keep it.
Pork away, pal.

austinnelly on September 17, 2007 at 11:24 PM

Humans are capable of all kinds of weird behavior, and Lord knows that extremely wealthy people can find all sorts of creative ways to waste vast sums of money. Like feeding Ted Kennedy, for instance.
-
There is a district in Tokyo (Kanda – 神田) that is (or at least was) famous for restaurants that featured weird food, like snake’s blood and bat stew and such. There used to be a TV show that featured visits to these places.
-
And Roppongi has it’s share of very interesting places – don’t even ask me about that cute girl I met there once…
-
…where was I. Oh yeah…
-
But this story smacks of some sort of parody that has taken on legs of its own. It just doesn’t pass any sort of smell test – pun intended.

Herikutsu on September 17, 2007 at 11:26 PM

I think I’m going to call the 48-year rule on this one.

Merovign on September 18, 2007 at 1:02 AM

Has to be fake, one way or another. It takes hours to roast a pig.

Tanya on September 17, 2007 at 4:43 PM

Thank you for pointing out the one thing that’d make me feel better. Of course the story’s fake. Whew.

To think 30 seconds ago I would have said nothing on the Internet could shock me.

I’m surprised no one made a Restaurant at the End of the Universe connection.

austinnelly on September 17, 2007 at 11:24 PM

Can’t believe I missed that.

Of course, I was sort of stuck on the lawyer-doing-pig imagery.

I still love Zaphod’s line (or maybe it was Ford’s): “Let’s meet the meat!”

Professor Blather on September 18, 2007 at 1:23 AM

Paging Richard Greer.

- The Cat

MirCat on September 18, 2007 at 1:29 AM

Ummm Gere even. Dang sneaky Rs

- The Cat

MirCat on September 18, 2007 at 1:32 AM

austinnelly on September 17, 2007 at 11:24 PM

Uhh…

Mindcrime on September 17, 2007 at 5:36 PM

So at least three Douglas Adams fans here, yes. But as twisted as Adams was, he wouldn’t touch a story this vile with a dead bugblatter beast.

Freelancer on September 18, 2007 at 7:19 AM

…of course it was a lawyer *porking* the pig, further evidence that lawyers will screw anyone.

Alden Pyle on September 18, 2007 at 7:47 AM

Report: Japanese restaurant lets you have your, er, “cake” and eat it, too

Wouldn’t this be more like having your bukkake and eating it too?

James on September 18, 2007 at 2:21 PM

Has to be fake, one way or another. It takes hours to roast a pig.

Tanya on September 17, 2007 at 4:43 PM

I’m with Tanya. But that only proves that someone is lying — could very well be that the proprietor is lying to his customers. That actually makes it worse since you would be getting someone else’s pig. (Let’s not go with the sloppy seconds jokes, okay?)

But I don’t think I believe any of this.

JackOfClubs on September 18, 2007 at 5:53 PM