Evil clown’s megalomania turns stupid
posted at 5:36 pm on August 21, 2007 by Allahpundit
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If you’re going to remake society from the top down, don’t half-ass it.
After receiving power to rule by decree and moving to abolish the country’s presidential term limits, President Hugo Chavez intends to stake a claim on a new frontier: the country’s clocks. During Chavez’ seven-hour weekly radio broadcast on Sunday, he revealed he would order all of the country’s clocks to be set half an hour forward on January 1, 2008.
Chavez claimed the move would have positive effects on metabolism through extended sunlight exposure, and enable people to perform better at work and school.
He’s sending food aid to Peru, too, in the wake of the quake. Click for photo. Quote: “The Peruvian government acts in an inefficient, slow and heartless manner, notwithstanding the pain of the victims, leaving them to the mercy of hunger, thirst and delinquency.”
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Nobel Peace Prize. Noble Piss Prize.The Race Card on August 21, 2007 at 5:39 PM
Is it wrong to have a little part of me that is smug about the fact that the people who voted for him are getting nonsense like this?
Is it wrong if that part of me isnt so little?
Dash on August 21, 2007 at 5:40 PM
Huh. Can’t imagine what good clocks will be in the rice fields.
RushBaby on August 21, 2007 at 5:43 PM
All Venezuelans will have to change their underwear every half hour and wear it on the outside “so we can check.”
Attila (Pillage Idiot) on August 21, 2007 at 5:44 PM
Spicoli just wanted to remind all that, in addition to the aforementioned granting of Rule by Decree and desire to eliminate Presidential [For Life?] term limits, the Great One also eliminated the Venezuelan Senate.
All hail Socialism! Onward, Comrades! Freedom is here!
OhEssYouCowboys on August 21, 2007 at 5:51 PM
Baby steps for dmmy dictators
William Amos on August 21, 2007 at 5:52 PM
The food packaging has his photo on it? What a mess! It’s scary to think what’s going to have to happen when Venezualans get fed up and decide he’s got to go …
reine.de.tout on August 21, 2007 at 5:52 PM
Maybe he’s getting kickbacks from clock makers around the world. When this happens, every military and government command center will have to add an extra clock that is labeled “Venezuelian Time.”
Tennessee Dave on August 21, 2007 at 5:52 PM
Seven hours? What in the Hell could any politician possibly have to say for that long?
OK, Chavez has officially co-opted all the media, but I’m sure it’s safe to say even if there is absolutely NOTHING else on, the vast majority of people would rather listen to crickets than this twit.
This is how the large-scale pograms always start. The egomaniacs who get to the top in a socialist system can deal with the “corruption” of some occasional free-enterprise that slips through the cracks.
But they completely lose it once they find out that no one wants to listen to them.
logis on August 21, 2007 at 5:53 PM
He totally stole this idea from the esteemed Doctor Emmett Brown during the beginning of Back to the Future.
World B. Free on August 21, 2007 at 5:55 PM
Seven hour, weekly radio broadcast?
Wow.
yo on August 21, 2007 at 5:56 PM
It was actually 7 & 1/2 hours but the clocks were set back
William Amos on August 21, 2007 at 5:58 PM
Remember folks. This guy is the darling of America’s Left. The same Left that steadfastly believes GW Bush is the arch enemy of freedom and democracy.
Yes, that’s right…the American Left loves Chavez, who just abolished democracy in Venezuela and they hate Bush.
Ya mkay. The American Left’s doublethink in action.
Heh.
Hey Tim Robbins, feel a chill in the air from down South buddy? Hmm?
Hey Spicoli, how’s your last brain cell doing? Bored? Lonely?
Montana on August 21, 2007 at 5:59 PM
Chavez is a tool, but we mess around with DST too. So what’s the big deal? That it’s a half hour and the wrong way?
JiangxiDad on August 21, 2007 at 5:59 PM
I guess he’s gonna follow in the legacy of the late president of Turkmenistan (among his brilliant decrees was the renaming of months on the calendar).
CP on August 21, 2007 at 5:59 PM
For a truly bizarre time-zone tidbit, consider China. One time-zone from Shanghai to Tibet. Now that’s STUPID!
JiangxiDad on August 21, 2007 at 6:00 PM
Spicoli wants to know if the Great One can make a “tasty wave” by decree?
Anybody?
OhEssYouCowboys on August 21, 2007 at 6:04 PM
Anyone under the age of 16 years old ….. is now, 16 years old.
Harpoon on August 21, 2007 at 6:05 PM
Cripes. Was there a test afterwards?
PatrickS on August 21, 2007 at 6:05 PM
Wait a sec.
We’re labelling this guy a fool because he wants to move clocks forward by 30 minutes?
We move our clocks BOTH forward and back EVERY YEAR by AN HOUR.
Who’s the fool?
Labamigo on August 21, 2007 at 6:10 PM
“Burro!….burro…”
pat on August 21, 2007 at 6:13 PM
I don’t really get it either. And not even every part of US changes the clocks at all, like Arizona, Hawaii, think Saskatchewan in Canada, and a bunch of others.
Whatever…
JiangxiDad on August 21, 2007 at 6:13 PM
Geez, why doesn’t he just change his name to Castro Jr and get it over with?
Presidente for Life? Check.
Rule by decree? Check.
Long rambling speeches? Check.
Nationalization of private enterprise? Check.
Embracing every dictator he can get his mitts on? Check.
Hollowpoint on August 21, 2007 at 6:16 PM
Danny Glover sets his watch by him…. Fashionably early now, I guess.
But what about Hugo’s penn pal?
locomotivebreath1901 on August 21, 2007 at 6:16 PM
Stupid pretty much sums it up. In the grand tradition of Ozzie Guillen (what a class act) let me just say “Venny Waila!!!!!”. I wonder what he means when he says that? Wasn’t that the guy that played in the reggae band with young Bob Marley?
pc on August 21, 2007 at 6:18 PM
Remember, we’re talking about the guy who, right after getting elected the first time around (in the last semi-honest election I expect to see in Venezuela for a while), gave an interview in which he said that if anyone wasn’t nice to him, he could make them disappear by waving his hands and saying, “Fweesh!”
I propose a new bumper sticker for those who are into such things;
cheers
eon
eon on August 21, 2007 at 6:18 PM
Buying advanced Russian weaponry and submarines to challenge US military supremacy in Caribbean (Puerto Rico, USVI ) and prowl Gulf and E.Coast shore. Check.
Cuban missile crisis anyone?
JiangxiDad on August 21, 2007 at 6:21 PM
Seven hours of listening to that grinning idiot?
Good LORD.
MadisonConservative on August 21, 2007 at 6:21 PM
I took Spanish in 7th grade. Pretty sure it means bunt
JiangxiDad on August 21, 2007 at 6:23 PM
Yes, but the US government isn’t trying to tell you that the exercise you get from moving that hour hand around twice a year makes you healthier. There are actually valid economic reasons why DST makes sense (it flattens the electricity demand curve, meaning we don’t need as many power plants).
Ha We on August 21, 2007 at 6:24 PM
If I made a list of credible threats against the United States, the Venezuela Navy wouldn’t rank way up there. Shipping coke to Aruba they can handle. But diving and maneuvering and competently manning a submarine? Not in my life time. I would love to be proven wrong so we could kick their ass and you know do that mineral usurpment thing.
pc on August 21, 2007 at 6:25 PM
Did you notice that the libtards all dutifully criticized Chavez for about a week after he shut down the last free TV station?
Then, guess what? They didn’t hear anything else bad about him, so they figured he must be an OK guy after all. So they gleefully jumped back on his bandwagon.
If these moonbats were sitting around minding their own business and quietly making finger paintings, they would almost be funny. But when they keep trying to band together to run the world… Not such a great idea.
logis on August 21, 2007 at 6:26 PM
Bunt! thanks. LOL.
pc on August 21, 2007 at 6:26 PM
Understood. But they have in fact bought them, and new jets, and I would suppose they have also bought the foreign support personnel to train/man them. We shall see I guess.
JiangxiDad on August 21, 2007 at 6:28 PM
A preview of Hillary’s first term in office perhaps? Or is Hillary’s running just a way for the DEMs to run around those pesky laws about only two terms and get Bill back in anyway?
Buzzy on August 21, 2007 at 6:29 PM
Next great dictator quote
Hugo Chavez. He makes the Clocks run on time.
William Amos on August 21, 2007 at 6:30 PM
JiangxiDad on August 21, 2007 at 6:33 PM
I think Mugabe is hearing footsteps, wondering, wtf?
Wind Rider on August 21, 2007 at 6:39 PM
Mugabe cant hear anything past his own insane rantings. Is something about dictators after a while they go stark raving insane. Hugo is on the way.
William Amos on August 21, 2007 at 6:43 PM
Why hasn’t Bush invaded this country and stolen the oil yet? What’s he waiting for!? 7 hours of a weekly radio address?? Wow! Dictators love to talk! How can anyone talk that long! Can you imagine being forced to listen to Hillary each week for 7 hours?! That would be torture! You know,, should she ever actually take over,, and the Dems and RINOs gave her supreme powers,, her ultimate undoing might just be in forcing the nation to endure 7 hour weekly radio and television addresses!
JellyToast on August 21, 2007 at 7:07 PM
Chavez should play himself in a ogre-king-gone-mad horror/biography. Spicoli can direct. Glover, Belafonte and Sheehag can play orcs.
infidel4life on August 21, 2007 at 7:16 PM
Hugo’s just begun to dictate improvements in Venezuela. Pretty soon, it will be a Hugotopia.
It’s only a matter of time before he starts shooting people en masse. Somebody’s got to take the blame when the wheels come off Venezuela. Being dictator means never having to say you’re sorry.
Tantor on August 21, 2007 at 7:26 PM
I can’t make out the brand on that tuna can. What’s Spanish for Cretin of the Sea?
SailorDave on August 21, 2007 at 7:31 PM
How about adding an extra hour a day, another day each week and another month each year so everyone can have more time being miserable?
JammieWearingFool on August 21, 2007 at 7:35 PM
Cretin of the Sea?
Estupido del Mar.
MB4 on August 21, 2007 at 7:38 PM
This story can’t be true. This is one of those Onion deals, right?
SoulGlo on August 21, 2007 at 7:46 PM
Doesn’t flow as well. It kinda sounds like a ratty Florida motel.
SailorDave on August 21, 2007 at 7:49 PM
He’s also adding 20 degrees in the winter and subtracting 20 degrees in the summer. Perfect weather!
JWS on August 21, 2007 at 7:49 PM
Henceforth, the first six days of the weeks will be named after his favorite breakfast cereals. The last day will, of course, continue to be called Sabado Gigante.
SailorDave on August 21, 2007 at 7:57 PM
Well, why not leave open fridge doors, too. It’ll cool the whole country.
What an idiot.
madmonkphotog on August 21, 2007 at 8:00 PM
It’s 5 o’clock somewhere… Ok. how do I make those cute little music thingys appear?
mimi1220 on August 21, 2007 at 8:29 PM
The French revolution did the same thing. They changed time and the calendar (names of months and days), as did the Russian Revolution.
Wonder if the French have a guillotine I can borrow and bring to Caracas?
Defector01 on August 21, 2007 at 8:34 PM
now your talkin :)
trailortrash on August 21, 2007 at 8:37 PM
I set my watch 24 hours back so it’s really yesterday and I have more time to do stuff and my watch still shows the same time as the rest of the world who is experiencing tomorrow!
Please note, I wrote this post yesterday. I wont know until tomorrow if it actually gets posted.
186k on August 21, 2007 at 8:38 PM
WOW it WORKED!
186k on August 21, 2007 at 8:38 PM
Chicken of the sea with a little Spanish lingo
Kini on August 21, 2007 at 8:49 PM
There’s no limit to his brilliance. He’s added a foot to all belts. Now they’re the slimmest!
JWS on August 21, 2007 at 9:15 PM
I am wondering, he seems to wear red a lot. I’m thinking its that voodoo protection thing. Didn’t another dictator somewhere,, I’m thinking South America,, wear a lot of red for protection from evil spirits? I believe it was Noriega.
JellyToast on August 21, 2007 at 9:49 PM
I hope they are getting a cell ready for this head case right next to the nut that ran Panama. Maybe Sean and Cindy can come in for conjugal visits?
Hening on August 21, 2007 at 9:58 PM
heh, funny.
As for hugo?
Be afraid, very afraid. Not so much of the hugo one tho…
Shillary is taking notes.
shooter on August 21, 2007 at 10:53 PM
Can anybody else think of a better reason to drill for oil in the ANWR or anyplace in the United States possible?
Speakup on August 21, 2007 at 10:54 PM
Step 1: Set clocks 30 minutes ahead.
Step 2: …
Step 3: Profit!
Neo on August 21, 2007 at 11:09 PM
Joe Kennedy thinks it’s so great, he’s probably going to shoot some more commercials having people praise “our friends in Venezuala.” Winter is only a couple of months away. Time for the CITGO program again.
PowWow on August 21, 2007 at 11:50 PM
Nuance.
Sir Loin on August 22, 2007 at 12:21 AM
Can anybody else think of a better reason to drill for oil in the ANWR or anyplace in the United States possible?
Speakup on August 21, 2007 at 10:54 PM
Ah yes! And distribute the profits in the Kuwaiti (sp?) fashion. Now just add the flat tax and presto conservative utopia! Heh Heh
sonnyspats1 on August 22, 2007 at 12:28 AM
I just can’t take this Chavez guy seriously. Add one part Spicoli and it just becomes so unreal that it has to be a new Wayne’s World movie in the making. Or a new Austin Powers or Team America flick.
I mean seriously. How can you not laugh at this chump?
Montana on August 22, 2007 at 1:08 AM
For the entire population of Venezuela to just stand by and watch Hugo Chavez squeeze the life out of their democracy with his death grip, is a sad and pathetic sight.
It’s very disconcerting how the liberal ilk jerks-off to slander and paranoia about President George Bush’s use of his executive powers combating terror in our homeland while they’re in the orgasmic throes of their Bush Derangement Syndrome. Yet there’s hardly a squeak from the same ilk about Hugo Chavez, who is actively destroying democracy and morphing into a full blown iron fisted dictator as we speak.
SilverStar830 on August 22, 2007 at 1:40 AM
“Evil clown”. Never saw a better description of this buffoon.
madne0 on August 22, 2007 at 2:14 AM
You guys mock him, but the egg is on YOUR faces. The whole country is going to be living in the future! While we losers in the distant half-hour past are still suffering with old technology, Venezuela will be living the dream with all of the modern conveniences the future provides.
Kevin M on August 22, 2007 at 2:58 AM
And sean penn has what to say about this? Could he be reached for comment?
pissant.
Highrise on August 22, 2007 at 3:15 AM
Sorta. There were medical exams peformed on those who had passed on.
Nobody puts the “dIE, in diatribe like a leftist.
soundingboard on August 22, 2007 at 3:33 AM
Is Chavez sending clocks that are 30 minutes fast to Peru to help their metabolic levels?
saved on August 22, 2007 at 6:05 AM
The guy’s becoming a parody of himself. What’s next? Ordering the letter “M” stricken from the Spanish language?
flipflop on August 22, 2007 at 8:03 AM
Where can I get a can of Cavez Tuna?
Frozen Tex on August 22, 2007 at 8:51 AM
Oops, CHavez Tuna.
Frozen Tex on August 22, 2007 at 8:52 AM
And someone called me a moron for saying Chavez was not a nice man (putting it mildly for the liberals, I was).
LOL, I assume you’re joking but I know people who basically believe this about him.
yggdrasil on August 22, 2007 at 9:26 AM
Yeah yggdrasil, I’m practicing becoming a hippie. It takes considerable effort :).
Kevin M on August 22, 2007 at 3:13 PM
LOL, yes it does, especially once one has engaged reality and set their feet on firm ground. :)
If it’s the people I know from another, very different forum, it’s because they like Chavez. These are the same folks that think Sean Penn, Rosie O’Donnell, and Charlie Sheen are great spokespeople for their cause(s).
yggdrasil on August 22, 2007 at 4:06 PM
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