Video: The 300-page iPhone bill

posted at 8:09 pm on August 16, 2007 by Allahpundit

How did it happen? The first clip presents the mystery, the second clip solves it. A little math for you: assuming a 30-day month with 20 waking hours per day, she’s texting at a clip of one message every 1.2 minutes. More, actually, if you use the higher estimate she gives.

Even so, I dig the whole Cameron Diaz vibe. Exit question nuance: The big A’s iPhone comes with no bill at all.

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iPhones are killing the rain forest.

MikeZero on August 16, 2007 at 8:11 PM

Even so, I dig the whole Cameron Diaz vibe. Exit question nuance: The big A’s iPhone comes with no bill at all.

K, first of all, she’s WAY hotter than Cameron Diaz who’s got a face like a frying pan.

Secondly, doesn’t HotAir need a graphic designer? Even if you don’t, can’t you find a reason to hire her? Granted, I’d rather see Bethany of RealVerse, but I’m realistic… and she seems to have vanished off the face of the Earth.

RightWinged on August 16, 2007 at 8:14 PM

Heh, Maddox has a piece up on the iPhone…I don’t think Allah wants to see it.

Bad Candy on August 16, 2007 at 8:15 PM

…. On second thought, I want nothing to do with someone who sends 30,000+ text messages per month. I can’t sending the 10 or so I do today, and even then it’s only because I’m replying!

RightWinged on August 16, 2007 at 8:17 PM

Yeah, where is Bethany?

Bad Candy on August 16, 2007 at 8:18 PM

You can have any iPhone you want as long as it’s AT&T.

Apple and AT&T – freedom of choice? I think not.

Kini on August 16, 2007 at 8:19 PM

All text msg and no life.

Kini on August 16, 2007 at 8:20 PM

It’s a good thing Michelle didn’t buy Allahpundit that Iphone. If I had a boss that considerate I’d still be working.

TunaTalon on August 16, 2007 at 8:21 PM

One does have to wonder what the hell is she text messaging at 30k times a month. Is it all: hi hw r u?

Blake on August 16, 2007 at 8:22 PM

If she weren’t hot, no one would care.

Mojave Mark on August 16, 2007 at 8:23 PM

Sure puts my fifty three page AT&T bill in perspective.

And thirty five thousand per month?

Over a thousand texts per day?

I’m thinkin she meant thirty five hundred and just had a blond moment.

BTW…How many blond jokes are there?

None.They’re all true.

Apologies to KP.

soundingboard on August 16, 2007 at 8:26 PM

I think her message is going eBilling is iGreen

Kini on August 16, 2007 at 8:26 PM

If she weren’t hot, no one would care.

Mojave Mark on August 16, 2007 at 8:23 PM

Why do we care anyway? If she’s averaging 1 text message per minute, unless you’re sitting next to her texting her, she doesn’t have time for you. lol

Kowboy on August 16, 2007 at 8:27 PM

I keep having blond moments with these tags.

If I had the capacity for embarrassment, this would be the time for it.

soundingboard on August 16, 2007 at 8:28 PM

Does she text date?

Kini on August 16, 2007 at 8:29 PM

I can’t even imagine dropping that much cash on phone bills.

Bad Candy on August 16, 2007 at 8:31 PM

She’s got more to worry about than the Harry Potter-esque AT&T bill. Maybe she should like, you know…get a friggin’ life. Maybe an iLife.

robblefarian on August 16, 2007 at 8:33 PM

She is about 45746.66667% hotter than Cameron Diez.

TheSitRep on August 16, 2007 at 8:33 PM

Let me guess, this is a slow news day.

Kalapana on August 16, 2007 at 8:35 PM

It would have only been 150 pages had they not included a TPS report cover page with ea. page.

TheSitRep on August 16, 2007 at 8:35 PM

I’m surprised the YouTube spot wasn’t all text.

Must be fun at parties. Hey how RU. Now wait for text reply.
Which isn’t really a bad thing when you don’t wanna hear her yappin.
Although in bed, texting the moaning might be annoying.
O YA O YA &%$* ME!

Kini on August 16, 2007 at 8:36 PM

Forget the iPhone! I just got a Wii. It. Rocks. And now I know what Allah should get for Christmas from the Hot Air family. Who’s in?

Michelle on August 16, 2007 at 8:41 PM

Her phone bill is more than my girlfriend and I pay for both our cell phones, cable internet and electricity every month.

Heh, Kini, that reminds me of this

BadgerHawk on August 16, 2007 at 8:42 PM

BadgerHawk on August 16, 2007 at 8:43 PM

And now I know what Allah should get for Christmas from the Hot Air family.

No time to play.

Allahpundit on August 16, 2007 at 8:43 PM

I give up.

BadgerHawk on August 16, 2007 at 8:43 PM

Ah yes! AT&T and Apple loves that there are so many ‘tards willing to pay $600 upfront + $50-$100 additional per month to type “OMFG!!! U R 2 KWL! LOL!!1!” on a tiny li’l screen. Break out the Morse code and let’s party like it’s 1847!

Dumbass, you have a phone. You talk into it.

ScottMcC on August 16, 2007 at 8:44 PM

I like iTurtles

TheSitRep on August 16, 2007 at 8:45 PM

Doesn’t anyone just talk to each other anymore? I refuse to use text messaging especially since a phone call is much better. My company installed text messaging software on all our computers. When someone queues me, my response is always: “call me at…” But listening to her annoying voice, text messaging may be the only way she can engage anyone in conversation with her. As she said, “…most of this is a waste…”

That feature is blocked on all the families’ cell phones. I latest phone is a Samsung CGH-C417. Not because I needed its “advanced” features, but because Cingular gave it to me for free.

Zaire67 on August 16, 2007 at 8:47 PM

Answer:
The Mac douche. Jobs himself. This crazy-eyed slitch.
Question:
What is the holy trinity of reasons not to join the Apple cult?

Stephen M on August 16, 2007 at 8:47 PM

Doesn’t anyone just talk to each other anymore? I refuse to use text messaging especially since a phone call is much better. My company installed text messaging software on all our computers. When someone queues me, my response is always: “call me at…” But listening to her annoying voice, text messaging may be the only way she can engage anyone in conversation with her. As she said, “…most of this is a waste…”

That feature is blocked on all the families’ cell phones. I latest phone is a Samsung CGH-C417. Not because I needed its “advanced” features, but because Cingular gave it to me for free.

Zaire67 on August 16, 2007 at 8:47 PM

Yeah I was gonna ask my wife out to dinner tonight, but she is blogging on another thread.
So with out actually opening my mouth an asking here in real life, I guess it’s leftovers again..

TheSitRep on August 16, 2007 at 8:51 PM

Forget the iPhone! I just got a Wii. It. Rocks. And now I know what Allah should get for Christmas from the Hot Air family. Who’s in?

Michelle on August 16, 2007 at 8:41 PM

The Wii is a blast, last week we had 3 generations of family members playing it, (age 70 to 3) however Allah does “need” an iPhone.

(Even though he never leaves his place and never gets out).

Regardless I am in.

F15Mech on August 16, 2007 at 8:52 PM

Forget the iPhone! I just got a Wii. It. Rocks. And now I know what Allah should get for Christmas from the Hot Air family. Who’s in?

Michelle on August 16, 2007 at 8:41 PM

No time to play.

Allahpundit on August 16, 2007 at 8:43 PM

That is a good point… It’s either Wii or countless Tay Zonday and robot videos. It can’t be both!

RightWinged on August 16, 2007 at 8:55 PM

And now I know what Allah should get for Christmas from the Hot Air family.

You can’t play in 20-minute intervals. If you can’t set aside a clear block of a few hours then there’s no sense even having it. In the past seven months, I’ve played my Xbox maybe ten times.

Allahpundit on August 16, 2007 at 8:56 PM

Just thought of an appropriate name for God/Allah.

The King of Kings

ELVIS! Be thy name!

TheSitRep on August 16, 2007 at 8:57 PM

K, first of all, she’s WAY hotter than Cameron Diaz who’s got a face like a frying pan.

Secondly, doesn’t HotAir need a graphic designer? Even if you don’t, can’t you find a reason to hire her? Granted, I’d rather see Bethany of RealVerse, but I’m realistic… and she seems to have vanished off the face of the Earth.

RightWinged on August 16, 2007 at 8:14 PM

She is hot, but she is an environmental nut. No thanks.

Tim Burton on August 16, 2007 at 8:57 PM

Allah, she’d look good hanging all over you!

Zorro on August 16, 2007 at 8:59 PM

Forget the iPhone! I just got a Wii

Note Graphic Language alert

Hitler worries what the world will think if he quits the war and plays with his Wii

William Amos on August 16, 2007 at 8:59 PM

She is hot, but she is an environmental nut. No thanks.

Tim Burton on August 16, 2007 at 8:57 PM

Yeah, I’m always afraid those hairy legged tree huggers lack in the hygiene department.

TheSitRep on August 16, 2007 at 9:00 PM

i wl nt bi n ifn!

teh blnd ck is a ri-trd.

atnt shd cg hr 4 teh bx & teh ppr.

AZCON on August 16, 2007 at 9:01 PM

Hey Allah, even the crazy dude that sued Vick and Bonds has an iPhone!

Link (Check section 2 at the bottom)

Queasy on August 16, 2007 at 9:06 PM

You can’t play in 20-minute intervals. If you can’t set aside a clear block of a few hours then there’s no sense even having it. In the past seven months, I’ve played my Xbox maybe ten times.

Allahpundit on August 16, 2007 at 8:56 PM

Shoot, I can beat that. I’ve probably played my PS2 10 times in the past 5 years!

She is hot, but she is an environmental nut. No thanks.

Tim Burton on August 16, 2007 at 8:57 PM

True, I probably wouldn’t be able to tolerate it. But I would hope that maybe she’s just in on the environmentalism because it’s just “the thing to do” these days. She seems intelligent enough that I could convince her that global warming is a pile of crap. After that, I’m not that opposed to stopping polution, etc. I live in one of the cleanest and greenest states in the country, and I’ve seen the difference when I’ve been and lived elsewhere. I wish more places could be like this, but if it’s done in the name of global warming I want nothing to do with it, because I see the real motivations behind that movement.

So anyway, she’s hot enough and seems intelligent enough that I’d give her a shot if she could lose the belief in global warming.

RightWinged on August 16, 2007 at 9:06 PM

It’s called viral marketing. She won’t work for HotAir because she’s got a good gig with with Apple. I don’t believe for a second that a chick that hot spents every waking moment of every day texting out messages. If she wants a message sent she’ll ask one of her boyfriends to do it for her.

pedestrian on August 16, 2007 at 9:09 PM

Reminds me of what happened a few months ago. I bought my mother a Razor for emergencies. She’s 70 and lives alone. So. I get the first AT&T bill and it’s $200!!! It turns out she was surfing the net on the thing while she was sitting in front of her computer – you know, just to see it was like!

If you buy your parents (or kids) a cell phone, do yourself a favor an block the Net!

TheBigOldDog on August 16, 2007 at 9:14 PM

What’s text messaging?

Attila (Pillage Idiot) on August 16, 2007 at 9:23 PM

She must mean 3000-3500. No one can send 30,000 text messages in a month.

Unless, as a part of her job, or business, or whatever, she sends mass blocks of text messages to mailing lists. Not necessarily a spam type thing, but maybe an information service. I just can’t fathom someone being able to send that many text messages in one month.

I am outraged.

nailinmyeye on August 16, 2007 at 9:37 PM

300 pages x 2 sides x 50/page = 30,000

pedestrian on August 16, 2007 at 9:40 PM

Michelle got a Wii? I knew she had good taste! I woulda thought she’d have one sooner.

I’ve had mine since before Christmas(waited for a few hours in cold Pennsylvania weather), it rules so much, I bought Contra III on the shop Channel. I can’t wait for the new Super Smash Bros. I still need to get Wii play. How do you like it Michelle?

Bad Candy on August 16, 2007 at 9:41 PM

Allah, you can totally play things in twenty minutes! You can easily put in a game on Wii Sports in that time! Or you could get Rayman: Raving Rabbids, its a collection of minigames, they’re super short, its pretty fun, or maybe WarioWare.

Bad Candy on August 16, 2007 at 9:45 PM

I kinda want RE4 for the Wii, but I already have it for the Gamecube, and I don’t wanna drop 50 bucks on what is nearly the same game.

Bad Candy on August 16, 2007 at 9:51 PM

No one can send 30,000 text messages in a month.

Back when the local cellphone companies here in NZ had unlimited text messaging, there were people doing 80,000 a month.

Unlimited Text Messaging didn’t last very long.

BathTub on August 16, 2007 at 10:02 PM

Are people here saying Bethany is an environmental whacko, or are they talking about Cameron Diaz? I can’t tell from those posts up there. I thought Bethany was very conservative.

And I miss her.

Coronagold on August 16, 2007 at 10:29 PM

Fake or not, here’s the scoop:

Turns out she sent the exact same text message to more than four hundred thousand people. It read: “OMG I have an iPhone!!!!!!!!! R u jelous????? Am I so kewl r what!!!!!!!!”

Money quote:

You know what bums me out? The idea that hundreds of brilliant designers and engineers could devote years of their life to creating a product — and this is how it gets used. Groan.

zb42 on August 16, 2007 at 10:32 PM

Can you say, High Maintenance.

Kini on August 16, 2007 at 10:47 PM

No Corona, Cameron is the envirowhacko. Bethany is sorely missed.

Bad Candy on August 16, 2007 at 10:57 PM

Why is there not any answer to the Bethany question? I too, want to know. I am actually more concerned about her than the iPhones. They mean nothing to me, I do not use nor need them, however, Bethany, means allot to me. Even not knowing her personally, I had come to greatly respect her, not just for her looks, although she has great looks, but also her values. And I miss Real Verse. I am sure the staff at Hot Air knows the answer…..I smell a conspiracy. This is not the first time this question has been brought up. If it is something private, though, I can understand. But I do hope all is well with that girl, she is awesome.

MalkinFan on August 16, 2007 at 10:58 PM

Why is there not any answer to the Bethany question? I too, want to know.

We’ve answered the Bethany question at least a dozen times now. She quit. She got engaged and had other priorities. That’s all there is to it.

Allahpundit on August 16, 2007 at 11:00 PM

Oh, I never heard that. Well there you go. Pity she doesn’t drop by on occasion and say hi.

Bad Candy on August 16, 2007 at 11:13 PM

I still need to get Wii play.

Bad Candy on August 16, 2007 at 9:41 PM

Don’t bother, Wii play is disappointing IMO.

F15Mech on August 16, 2007 at 11:31 PM

No doubt. Bethany was delightful.

As for this poor man’s Diaz, she’s a first-rate ditz, appropriately enough. Diaz herself is a mindless imbecile, and it’s pathetic that this dyed blond, 1000 text-a-day, know-nothing knock-off has decided to dedicate her life to imitating her.

But I must admit, I love that she proudly goes on YouTube, thinking that she’s so smart and environmentally aware with her e-bill message (duh), and missing the irony of how stupid she looks sending 30,000 texts in a month, and getting a 300 page bill in a box.

Jaibones on August 16, 2007 at 11:35 PM

Allahpundit on August 16, 2007 at 11:00 PM

I sense “a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of Hotair commenters cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced…”

F15Mech on August 16, 2007 at 11:37 PM

F15Mech on August 16, 2007 at 11:37 PM

Nah, that’ll happen when AP announces his engagement.

Kini on August 16, 2007 at 11:46 PM

Kini on August 16, 2007 at 11:46 PM

Heh.

Bad Candy on August 16, 2007 at 11:57 PM

The question is…

Who is the chump paying her iphone bill?

Zach on August 17, 2007 at 12:04 AM

Ask her:

http://www.tastyblogsnack.com/live

pedestrian on August 17, 2007 at 12:06 AM

Why is there not any answer to the Bethany question?

The world is full of pretty women. Collectively let’s move on!

You can’t play in 20-minute intervals. If you can’t set aside a clear block of a few hours then there’s no sense even having it. In the past seven months, I’ve played my Xbox maybe ten times.

Allahpundit on August 16, 2007 at 8:56 PM

I hate to be nice, haha, but you’re the best blogger on teh internets, imho. And not to get up in your business but here’s hoping work=fun and you have the balance/etc you need – I’d hate to see you get burned out, you’re indispensable.

Spirit of 1776 on August 17, 2007 at 12:50 AM

iPhones are killing the rain forest.

MikeZero on August 16, 2007 at 8:11 PM

Never fear. Apple is planting iForests, consisting of trees whose trunk grows around a revolving spindle, that lets you peel off pieces of paper from around the trunk’s extremeties as you need them.

Shy Guy on August 17, 2007 at 12:52 AM

As if she has anything to say beyond “Whatchadoin?”

Texting lingo is like unter-Newspeak at its most corrupting. (“We are eliminating words from every new dictionary so that eventually thought… will be impossible.”)

There should be a transfer program in the devices that accepts the texting shorthand but opens it back up into real language at the receiving end.

Otherwise we become codified.

profitsbeard on August 17, 2007 at 1:20 AM

Allahpundit on August 16, 2007 at 8:56 PM

Jeepers, AP, you haven’t sounded like your sprightly self these last few days. Not that we won’t miss you, but maybe a couple of weeks in St. Thomas…

A nice seaside villa. Down on the left.
I used them a couple of years ago. Very satisfactory.

Of course you might be thinking that this is the wrong time of year for St. Thomas, but the marlin fishing is excellent now!

jaime on August 17, 2007 at 1:27 AM

But I must admit, I love that she proudly goes on YouTube, thinking that she’s so smart and environmentally aware with her e-bill message (duh), and missing the irony of how stupid she looks sending 30,000 texts in a month, and getting a 300 page bill in a box.

Jaibones on August 16, 2007 at 11:35 PM

Jai, you’ve summed it up beautifully :))

Aylios on August 17, 2007 at 4:52 AM

Forget the iPhone! I just got a Wii. It. Rocks. And now I know what Allah should get for Christmas from the Hot Air family. Who’s in?

Michelle on August 16, 2007 at 8:41 PM

Ok, I’m in. Set up the PayPal link. I have already completed half of my Christmas shopping, no need to stop now!

Zorro on August 17, 2007 at 6:37 AM

the irony of how stupid she looks sending 30,000 texts in a month

Jaibones on August 16, 2007 at 11:35 PM

That’s what I call compulsive SMSturbation.

James on August 17, 2007 at 7:14 AM

But I must admit, I love that she proudly goes on YouTube, thinking that she’s so smart and environmentally aware with her e-bill message (duh), and missing the irony of how stupid she looks sending 30,000 texts in a month, and getting a 300 page bill in a box.

Jaibones on August 16, 2007 at 11:35 PM

Roger that! Most relevant post of the thread so far.

And Michelle has time for personal relaxation and enjoyment? No way! She must be living on a planet somewhere with a 36-hour day.

Spurius Ligustinus on August 17, 2007 at 8:13 AM

I am employed by Verizon Wireless. It’s stuff like this that makes me point and laugh at all the people who fell for that ridiculous iHype.

So, so not surprised by this.

flyawaybird on August 17, 2007 at 8:46 AM

Texting will do that. I wonder how big her doctors bill will be for strained ligaments and other illnesses related to texting that much?

I once had a customer who had an $800+ charge for wireless internet, using pay per use.

I had another who used 20,000 minutes in one month. Because he had unlim incoming, no extra charges. If you add it up, that is almost half the minutes in a 30 day month.

William Teach on August 17, 2007 at 9:21 AM

Self absorbed, chubby, attention monger. $20 says she’s got a tramp stamp peeking over the top of her jeans waist band in back.

Alden Pyle on August 17, 2007 at 9:44 AM

Nah, that’ll happen when AP announces his engagement.
Kini on August 16, 2007 at 11:46 PM

To KP, possibly?

Mazztek on August 17, 2007 at 11:06 AM

To KP, possibly?

Mazztek on August 17, 2007 at 11:06 AM

Who knows what goes on in the Fortress of Solitude

Kini on August 17, 2007 at 1:56 PM

Mazztek on August 17, 2007 at 11:06 AM

To KP, possibly?

Na, he has given up on KP, he decided that she is way deeper into the darkside then he thought and that there is no redeeming her…

doriangrey on August 17, 2007 at 2:01 PM

Sheppard is interviewing this dopey broad right now.

csdeven on August 17, 2007 at 3:48 PM

Sheppard is interviewing this dopey broad right now.

csdeven on August 17, 2007 at 3:48 PM

I have to say, she looked pretty decent on studio b..

gberez on August 17, 2007 at 4:06 PM

1) Definitely very, very hot. Alden, are you drunk? On what planet is that “chubby?”

2) Pedestrian called it, I smell astroturf. I’m betting it’s not Apple, but AT&T, trying to get people to sign up for e-billing. In fact, I assumed it was just a straight up ad, until the interview.

This is what happens when bidnesses discover that YouTube is cheaper than TV time.

Merovign on August 17, 2007 at 5:22 PM

Does she text date?
Kini on August 16, 2007 at 8:29 PM

I think she’s into text sex at that rate.

shooter on August 17, 2007 at 7:54 PM

Sorry Merovign, it’s those hips, they have their own zip code. She is a WIDE load.

Worse the cadence in which she speaks is like fingernails down a chalk board, I’m waiting for the *oh-muh-gaaawd* to slip out.

Alden Pyle on August 17, 2007 at 9:15 PM

She is SO hot. Everything I’ve ever wanted in a one-nighter.

What more is their to say?

Well, this:

Self absorbed, chubby, attention monger. $20 says she’s got a tramp stamp peeking over the top of her jeans waist band in back.

Alden Pyle on August 17, 2007 at 9:44 AM

I still think you focus on the glory and ignore it, but yeah, it’s better without.

Christoph on August 18, 2007 at 1:32 AM

Urgh. People outside the US think that all American woman are like this. I hope it isn’t so.

Apeking on August 18, 2007 at 1:54 PM