Fondest dorkwad fantasies realized: Hollywood to make “Voltron” movie
posted at 6:48 pm on August 10, 2007 by Allahpundit
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While the other 12-year-olds were out “shooting hoops” or “hanging out” or “talking to girls,” the big A was home hanging on every last word of this moronic mecha anime abortion. They called me geek, they called me dork, they called me nerd. And, er, they still do. But tell me, my friends — who’s laughing now?
I expect nothing less than the full Bay treatment.
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Already set up to fail, though this news isn’t as bad as the Enter the Dragon “remake”
Ripclawe on August 10, 2007 at 6:52 PM
I think a “finally” is in order.
John from OPFOR on August 10, 2007 at 6:52 PM
Go-Bots and M.A.S.K. are soon to follow right?
Tekknoman?
CTDeLude on August 10, 2007 at 6:53 PM
Man, I loved Voltron as a kid. But I only had/could afford two of the cat robots, which meant I couldn’t actually make the full Voltron. And my memory could be off, but I seem to recall that they were generic knock-offs of the real Voltron brand robot cats.
It was a sad childhood.
BillINDC on August 10, 2007 at 6:55 PM
Thundercats, Silverhawks, GI Joe…
We could do this all night dude.
John from OPFOR on August 10, 2007 at 6:55 PM
Didn’t they already do a Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers Movie, several times? (Just messing with you AP)
BKennedy on August 10, 2007 at 6:55 PM
In hindsight though, I’m pretty sure a live-action Thundercats movie would pretty thoroughly creep me out.
John from OPFOR on August 10, 2007 at 6:55 PM
That’s … unspeakably lame.
Allahpundit on August 10, 2007 at 6:56 PM
Warners is doing Thundercats.
Ripclawe on August 10, 2007 at 6:57 PM
Yeah, I just had the two cats run around and attack some old go-bots and a cylon figurine.
BillINDC on August 10, 2007 at 6:59 PM
I won’t be satisfied until they make a Starblazers movie.
MikeZero on August 10, 2007 at 7:00 PM
The world cries out for Starblazers, for the theme song if nothing else.
Nosferightu on August 10, 2007 at 7:00 PM
I’m guessing AP also watched Battlestar Galactica 1980.
“That’s … unspeakably lame.” Too true.
TheEJS on August 10, 2007 at 7:05 PM
First Bay will call this another “stupid toy movie” and need to be “schooled” on how to make a Voltron movie.
Hopefully it won’t be the stupid one with 15 vehicles (potential Ford/GM tie-in, again, ugh).
Mech-lions! Hells YEAH!
Neo on August 10, 2007 at 7:10 PM
I can’t wait for the Smurfs movie.
Oops did I say that out loud?
Resolute on August 10, 2007 at 7:13 PM
fighting with the gamelons we wont quit until we won and the earth will survive with our star blazers !!!
Sorry that song scarred me for life.
Will take a Thundarr the barbarian remake.
William Amos on August 10, 2007 at 7:13 PM
Only thing left from the 80’s is Airwolf.
Ripclawe on August 10, 2007 at 7:19 PM
Dude, you’ll be lucky if you get the half-assed Jonathan Mostow treatment for this… Hollywood will eff this up beyond recognition.
ScottMcC on August 10, 2007 at 7:19 PM
Voltron could kick Thundercats butt.
My friend had the thing that transformed the bad guy in Thundercats from the druid-like guy in a robe to the blue monster dude. that was awesome.
Did I say friend? I meant to say next door neighbor who had a refrigerator box full of Transformers, Go-bots, Voltron and Thundercat action figures. He didn’t have GI Joes, he was too much of a dork for that. He wasn’t really my friend, I just used him so I could “borrow” his stuff. He also had the giant transformer dinosaur, I think it had batteries. It was awesome.
chinotex on August 10, 2007 at 7:19 PM
That was an interesting show…in the same way as Ark II on Saturday mornings. Post-apocalyptic entertainment was considered perfectly normal for children in the 70’s.
Nosferightu on August 10, 2007 at 7:22 PM
how stupid does the internet get?
this stupid.
jummy on August 10, 2007 at 7:25 PM
Wow.
I don’t mean to draw water from this well too often, but…
Have you ever been on a date?
liberrocky on August 10, 2007 at 7:28 PM
When’s that Smurf movie coming out?
robblefarian on August 10, 2007 at 7:28 PM
Voltron? Cool! I loved this show too. Hope HOllywood doesn’t mess it up… a faint hope to be sure.
Vanceone on August 10, 2007 at 7:30 PM
if the hag was magic, how come she couldn’t make a robeast which got bigger than voltron?
jummy on August 10, 2007 at 7:33 PM
I enjoyed Voltron as a kid, however I liked Robotech better.
I just hope that they really don’t mess this up.
jharada on August 10, 2007 at 7:34 PM
Geez AP. Wasn’t the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers enough for ya? Where’s Amy Jo when ya need her.
.
GT on August 10, 2007 at 7:37 PM
Sorry AP, but I’d rather watch paint peel.
Kowboy on August 10, 2007 at 7:43 PM
I loved Thundercats and GI Joe!
I was younger than 10 when the SuperFriends were on, but even in my developing mind, I was wondering what the heck was up with Black Vulcan, Apache Chief, and Samurai. Loved Jayna though.
However, in the end could anyone beat She-Ra in the cartoon universe?
The best real life show – Electra Woman and Dyna Girl! Dyna Girl ruled!!!
Canadian Infidel on August 10, 2007 at 7:50 PM
will we finally find out if Pidge was a dude or a chick?
assmasterflash on August 10, 2007 at 7:55 PM
Apache Chief was great. He would stretch out his arms a yell, “Size of an elephant!”, or toaster, or chicken — what ever he wanted to turn into. A fairly lame concept.
Nosferightu on August 10, 2007 at 7:57 PM
Amen to that brother!
Robotech was so much cooler!
All the super megadorks liked Voltron while all us regular megadorks like Robotech.
liberrocky on August 10, 2007 at 7:58 PM
Sorry, I won’t get excited until someone decides to make a live action movie out of the genius that was Thundarr the Barbarian.
Slublog on August 10, 2007 at 8:00 PM
Voltron/Thompson ‘08!
aengus on August 10, 2007 at 8:04 PM
Thank you Allahpundid, I am no longer the dorkyest person in the universe. On this planet maybe, but not in the universe.
I feel liberated. As if I could finally be free from the influence of the great profit Algore. (That was not a spelling error)
TunaTalon on August 10, 2007 at 8:05 PM
She-ra destroyed The He-Man franchise! She was the original Poochie of 80’s cartoons.
Ripclawe on August 10, 2007 at 8:12 PM
Of all the Giant Robot genre and Voltron is picked?? There is Giant Gorg, Heavy Metal L-Giam, Vifam, Aura Battler Dunbine, Mobile Police Patlabor, Zoids and Of course Mobile Suit Gundam and the best of all Macross.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=iakHx_vy-Pw
http://youtube.com/watch?v=883V0iDpOGI
http://youtube.com/watch?v=dUQHD1gabco
http://youtube.com/watch?v=QlyjlMhKb3E
allie on August 10, 2007 at 8:20 PM
Oh YAY! Another childhood pleasure raped and pillaged!
Dude, Transformers hurt enough. I mistakenly took my 7 year old boy to see it today. His first question after we left? “Daddy, what does masturbation mean?”
SouthernDem on August 10, 2007 at 8:20 PM
Oh my god, I remember MASK… they had awesome toys.
But as for Voltron, I don’t know. I mean I went back and watched transformers, and as an Anime the Original holds up well in terms of storyline, entertainment, and dialogue.
But Voltron? They’ve been running that late at night on Cartoon Network, and in all honesty… it’s terrible.
I feel bad for wearing out the VHS back in the 80’s with Voltron, (I did gain a new apreciation for the patience of my parents though.)
But I tell ya what, with enough CGI and some decent dialogue, Michael Bay can make anything good.
Jones Zemkophill on August 10, 2007 at 8:22 PM
Battle of the Planets aka G-Force pwned Voltron. They should make a movie of that, instead.
MikeZero on August 10, 2007 at 8:32 PM
I used to love Voltron, then I watched it again recently and realized how terrible it was. The stories, the voice acting, the animation, all horribly subpar. Transformers was a much better take on the mecha genre.
Really, I’m waiting for all of the hype to send money to ADV Films so they can make the Neon Genesis Evangelion film. Whether it be an abortion or a masterpiece it will still be awesome.
Keljeck on August 10, 2007 at 8:41 PM
I’d rather see Robotech get the Bay treatment or even Starblazers, but Voltron? Ugh.
FireFly on August 10, 2007 at 8:52 PM
I partially agree with you. Transformers also has some of the cheesiest and lamest dialouge. I got all nostalgic when the movie came out that I downloaded the old transformers cartoon movie. Ugh, it stunk. But what else do you expect? We watched these shows at the same time we thought girls were disgusting. I was 5. Heh.
Its Tommy on August 10, 2007 at 8:54 PM
Like everyone stopped watching He-Man just to see watch his hot sister, or was it cousin. The new shows were alright though.
For any of us now, most of the cartoons we have the fondest memories of back then, don’t exactly appear like Shakespeare to us now.
If you don’t want the memory ruined, it’s best not to watch. I can live watching SuperFriends now, affirmative action and all Nosferightu, because I know it was kind of a crappy cartoon, but I’ll still enjoy it.
On the other hand, I have fond memories of watching ‘Lost in Space’. I don’t want to tarnish those memories by seeing those episodes today or ever again.
Canadian Infidel on August 10, 2007 at 9:00 PM
Was not impressed with the movie version of the Jupiter2.
here ya’go
http://youtube.com/watch?v=seo0FpwRSpg
http://youtube.com/watch?v=6-IHso1prG8
allie on August 10, 2007 at 9:25 PM
Tommy on August 10, 2007 at 8:54 PM
Three categories regarding those kid shows, expand to each list as you all see fit:
ROCKED then; ROCKS today: Twilight Zone, Star Trek, Darkwing Duck,
ROCKED then; ROCK today but because of the nostagia/camp factor: Batman; SuperFriends; SpiderMan, Get Smart, Thundercats, He-Man, She-Ra, GI Joe, The Littles, Animaniacs, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Scooby-Doo, Gilligan’s Island, Wonder Woman and pretty any other show you can still see on oldie TV channels.
ROCKED then; probably SUCKS today and/or I just don’t want to destroy the memories by risking watching it: Lost in Space, Johnny Socko and his Flying Robot, Transformers, Electra Woman and Dyna Girl, Land of the Lost.
Canadian Infidel on August 10, 2007 at 9:26 PM
allie on August 10, 2007 at 9:25 PM
There are things it’s just best not to revisit. I’ve seen parts of Lost in Space. No desire for Starsky and Hutch, Dukes of Hazzard, still debating Transformers. We’ll see about the $210 million Who’s the Boss remake.
Canadian Infidel on August 10, 2007 at 9:31 PM
We’re off to outer space
We’re leaving Mother Earth
To save the human race
Our Star Blazers
Searching for a distant star
Heading off to Iscandar
Leaving all we love behind
Who knows what danger we’ll find?
We must be strong and brave
Our home we’ve got to save
If we don’t in just one year
Mother Earth will disappear
Fighting with the Gamilons
We won’t stop until we’ve won
Then we’ll return and when we arrive
The Earth will survive
With our Star Blazers
marc@hubsandspokes on August 10, 2007 at 9:41 PM
Oh. My. God. I had those toys when I was a kid! I’d totally forgotten about it until now! I never even remembered what the hell it was called. I only had one or two of those lion thingies, though. I think I had a big castle to go with them too, if I’m not thinking of something else.
Man. Defender of the Universe. I knew that sounded familiar. Thanks for bringing back a cherished childhood memory!
Seixon on August 10, 2007 at 9:44 PM
Candian Infidel
Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson and snoopdog was enough to keep me away from any viewing of Starsky and Hutch. We already seen the damage to Charlies Angels. Dukes of Hazzard is the same verdict.
As for your Rocked then List:
Speed Racer
Ultra Man
Spectre Man
Jason of StarCommand
Adam 12
Astro Boy
Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea
I’ll let you decide where they stand today heheheheh
allie on August 10, 2007 at 9:49 PM
I watch the reruns of that (and every other version of Power Rangers) with my son. At first, I would practically close my eyes because it is soooo bad. Now I’ve gotten used to it and that frightens the heck out of me.
MamaAJ on August 10, 2007 at 9:59 PM
i asked my mom for voltron and she bought me the full set…of the “gladiator” version, which was three humanoids with greek symbols on them or something. i didn’t know what the hell they are, but they were cool enough. i went looking for the cartoons as best i could in those pre-internet days, but i don’t think they ever did a u.s. dub of those.
jummy on August 10, 2007 at 10:21 PM
YES!!!!
Oooo, I got chills…
Insomniac on August 10, 2007 at 10:32 PM
Voltron was another reason why every Japanese animator should be murdered in their sleep.Is it POSSIBLE for them to make a good animated flick?
Warner Todd Huston on August 10, 2007 at 10:46 PM
Oh man. I used t love that show but now that I watch that video it makes me cringe. a movie on Voltron sounds just rediculous.
What Hollywood needs to make is a Starblazers movie. Now that would kick ass!
Avatar72 on August 10, 2007 at 11:03 PM
Vampire Hunter D
Kowboy on August 10, 2007 at 11:08 PM
Voltron was awesome. Can’t wait for the movie.
SoulGlo on August 10, 2007 at 11:19 PM
dorkiest thread EVA
John from OPFOR on August 10, 2007 at 11:21 PM
Voltron? YUCK!
I’m with those who said we need a StarBlazers movie. But make it the U.S.S. New Jersey (or any one of the Iowa Class battleships) instead of that punkass Yamato that got sunk by the U.S. Navy.
Tony737 on August 10, 2007 at 11:40 PM
Voltron was gay, gay, gay. Just listen to the music – doo doo do doo, do do doooooo.
Starblazers, that was some GOOD stuff. Even though it was the Yamato, people died on that show, which made it cool. Wave Motion Gun. Black Tigers. “Fire the reflex gun!”
Available on Netflix, I might add.
JohnW on August 10, 2007 at 11:42 PM
Dude, if you turn your brain off and pretend to be 9 again, it ain’t a half-bad flick.
Willie Nelson tellin’ dirty knock-knock jokes while throwing flamed up moonshine at police cars out of Boss Hoggs’ convertable ….?!
Classic.
If you’re 9.
yo on August 10, 2007 at 11:49 PM
Wha? Akira, Ghost in the Shell, Patlabor, Princess Mononoke and on and on.
So, yes.
SouthernDem on August 10, 2007 at 11:53 PM
Holy Cow! Is this thread reminding me of stuff! Starblazers? I thought I was the only one that remembered it! Macross, Battle of the planets, Ark II (Jet Packs!), Jason of Star command. OK anyone remember “Space Academy?”
I’m sure you all know that Sci Fi premiers “Flash Gordon” tonight as well, although I am underwhelmed by the ads (No spaceships!)
Transformers movie rocked!
I am such a geek. How much of a geek? I would love a Sulu – Excelsior movie!
redshirt on August 10, 2007 at 11:54 PM
Starblazers rocked.
Robotech ruled, and still rules!
Lancer on August 11, 2007 at 12:06 AM
I hope the stick with the cool 5-Lion Voltron, not the crappy 30-little ships Voltron.
Wow, I’d forgotten what an influence that show was. It’s basically the same formula as the Power Rangers with 5 little weenies that have to form up to create the supper butt-kickin’ robot. You gotta wonder, why do they ever waste time fighting seperately and not just go straight to Voltron?
I’ll admit, I thought Voltron was cool at the time, but I gotta agree w/ the other posters: Robotech was the best Jap-anime cartoon ever! F-14s (the coolest plane ever) that turn into robots (oh so cool) equals mega-nerd super-cool!
CarpeCanis on August 11, 2007 at 12:18 AM
Flash Gordon? The old one, from the 70’s?!
Before which, every Saturday morning, came:
Up from the depths,
Thirty stories high,
Breathing fire,
He’s there in the sky!
Godzilla!
Godzilla!
Godzilla!
JohnW on August 11, 2007 at 12:25 AM
Studio purges. It’s the only solution.
Heads must roll.
mojo on August 11, 2007 at 12:38 AM
I’m still waiting for the rock em sock em robots movie.
and
Godzilla vs Gamera if they ever decide to make it.
Godzilla
Mojack420 on August 11, 2007 at 12:42 AM
I’m holding out for Jem and the Holograms. . . ok ok I’m really holding out for the Misfits.
- The Cat
MirCat on August 11, 2007 at 12:51 AM
Man I was totally in love with Dyna girl. I thought I was the onl one that remembered. Well I think I was in love, I was pretty young, I guess she just kind of made me feel funny inside. Anyone remember the Samauri warrior robots? No cartoon that I know of they were just two feet tall robots that launches axes and stuff, there was even a godzilla version (which my brother got afthe the Mr. quarterback he got for his birthday whacked him in the face).
For the record I’m a Robotech man, have all the episodes on DVD which nobody sees in the open of course.
gator70 on August 11, 2007 at 1:59 AM
What I liked about Robotech was the Macross and Geneis Climber Mospeada sections. Never could get into the Southern Cross even in the original Japanese series.
allie on August 11, 2007 at 3:11 AM
Gator, I think what you are referring to are the Shogun Warrior toys.
John I suspect we dorkidogs are popping out because of the lack of a BSG thread and the fact still have a long wait for the next and final season hehehehehe.
allie on August 11, 2007 at 3:18 AM
Personally,
I’m holding out for spaceship Yamato
EricPWJohnson on August 11, 2007 at 3:54 AM
Sorry, Allah, I was more into the Smurfs than Voltron for my Saturday Morning Cartoon fix.
kiakjones on August 11, 2007 at 6:39 AM
You guys are really really sad! We have sunk to new lows in dorkdom.
conservnut on August 11, 2007 at 8:00 AM
I want “The Herculoids.”
Blacklake on August 11, 2007 at 10:06 AM
I DVRed Flash Gordon last night. Of course they are playing it again right now too. I deemed it DVR-worthy just for using the Queen song.
BohicaTwentyTwo on August 11, 2007 at 10:12 AM
Lions or Voltron Force Vehicles?
Random Numbers (Brian Epps) on August 11, 2007 at 10:35 AM
Dang…..I really AM a geek!
Random Numbers (Brian Epps) on August 11, 2007 at 10:42 AM
yes shogun warriors, I was incorrect. I had the one on the far right, the red dude. He used to crush my star wars figures.
gator70 on August 11, 2007 at 10:50 AM
Well I guess that dates me. My oldest had all of the parts to make a whole. Kind of neat really. But they called you a geek and so on for this? My suspicion is that there was a lot more going on to earn that name AP.
mjkazee on August 11, 2007 at 12:58 PM
Two words: Mighty Orbots.
ZK on August 11, 2007 at 5:39 PM
As long a it’s Lions it’ll be OK. Voltron force sucked. Gladiator voltron would be neat, but like 5 people even know what I’m even referring to so that would be a complete bomb
LordDaMan on August 11, 2007 at 11:39 PM
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