Video: Mary Katharine Ham on how to cheat and not get caught

posted at 10:09 pm on August 8, 2007 by Allahpundit

The answer lies within. The fun quotient of this week’s segment is a little higher than the last one, just because you can kind of tell MK finds the “fire in the hole” idiocy funny in a stupid, guilty, offensive way.

As will you. And you’ll hate yourself for it afterwards.

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I thought there was a cream for “fire in the hole.” I guess I was mistaken.

robblefarian on August 8, 2007 at 10:16 PM

I like these segments, but what a waste of MKH’s mind.

Spirit of 1776 on August 8, 2007 at 10:19 PM

As will you. And you’ll hate yourself for it afterwards.

You know me so well.

nailinmyeye on August 8, 2007 at 10:19 PM

Fire in the hole segment, she would deliver “…a side of fist…” that’s great.

Now that O’Reilly has deputized MK to help police the net, she’ll need a badge to exercise her authority.

Zorro on August 8, 2007 at 10:21 PM

Zorro on August 8, 2007 at 10:21 PM

Respect her authoritah!

Wait, this ‘Fire in the Hole’ thing is big in Pennsylvania? Since when? I’ve never heard of it. Unless its a stupid Philly thing…

Bad Candy on August 8, 2007 at 10:24 PM

Bad Candy on August 8, 2007 at 10:24 PM

Probably a Philly thing. Steeler fans wouldn’t waste a large drink for a simple video thrill.

Zorro on August 8, 2007 at 10:28 PM

You know what’s funny about these split screen segments? There’s a Ham on the right and a ham on the left!

radjah shelduck on August 8, 2007 at 10:28 PM

MKH don’t need no stinking badges!

infidel4life on August 8, 2007 at 10:32 PM

Suddenly, I really want a ham sandwich.

Piggy comment aside, I have a hell of a time meeting quality women. Dirty ones, too. How can we meet the scorned women, because now they won’t be playing games.

As for the prank videos… I think our country and economy is doing great. Otherwise, those idjits would have something to do, like work…

Mazztek on August 8, 2007 at 10:47 PM

I had this mental image of a high school MK busting her chops at the local Burger King; crawling out the drive through window and whipping ass on a carload of fools.

“You want a knuckle sandwich, asshole?”

Ahhhhhh. What an image.

BacaDog on August 8, 2007 at 10:53 PM

MKH could whip some Shillary axx big time and in more ways than one.

CharlestonCritic on August 8, 2007 at 10:54 PM

I think MKH should offer a prominently featured companion series of postings to her “Policing the Net” segments on the Factor. I want to know what Mary Katharine really thinks about each of these stories in detail. Not just what she can manage to get in between O’Reilly’s comments. I also think it would be a great marketing tie in if at the end of each segment Bill said, “That’s it for tonight’s Policing the Net but if you want more information on these and related stories you can go on the net to Mary Katharine’s blog on Townhall dot com. Ms. Ham is of course the editor of Townhall.com”

D0WNT0WN on August 8, 2007 at 11:01 PM

I really hope Bill can find a better use for MKH. I really do. What is the point of this segment anyways? The sites and topics get free advertising to a market they most likely wouldn’t normally reach. Unlike JetBlue, these people aren’t likely to repent because Bill disapproves. And most of us already are perfectly aware how scummy people can be. Granted, I didn’t know about ‘fire in the hole’. But if Bill gave Mary Katherine that minute to just speak her mind on any topic of HER choosing, I think I would have left the clip feeling more fulfilled. AP is right, I hated myself for watching.

Mazztek on August 8, 2007 at 10:47 PM

Speaking of disgusting video, doesn’t that show Cheaters advertise their own dating site ‘Are you sick of being cheated on?’ Try there. The show doesn’t have much going for it except that the guy hosting it was stabbed one time on camera during one of the confrontations.

Canadian Infidel on August 8, 2007 at 11:11 PM

As will you. And you’ll hate yourself for it afterwards.

I didn’t find it funny at all. Not remotely. In a world where half the younger generation spends all their time either on MySpace or playing their PS3 before sleeping ’til noon and having Mommy drive them to the anti-America rally … the victims of these “funnies” are at least actually employed.

And they’re employed in hard, thankless jobs. They already get little or no respect. And now this? This isn’t funny.

Tell you what: when they find some of these punks – and show their names and faces publicly – get some video of the looks on their parents’ faces. Or their employers.

Now that would be funny.

Better yet, since you know it’s bound to happen sooner or later – when they do this to the wrong person, and that person pulls a gun and ends them … get me video of that.

That I’ll laugh at. Heartily.

It will happen, sooner or later. Hope I’m on the jury. I’ll still be laughing as I vote not guilty.

Little bastards. Karma is going to have fun with them. And that’ll be really, really funny.

Professor Blather on August 8, 2007 at 11:21 PM

Tell you what: when they find some of these punks – and show their names and faces publicly – get some video of the looks on their parents’ faces. Or their employers.

It’s funny when you’re looking at papers from the early 1900′s with names and full addresses of anyone involved in the news story. If I was a teenager back then and I knew my parents names and address were going to appear in the paper if I did stupid stuff, out of fear for my life, I would have thought twice.

Canadian Infidel on August 8, 2007 at 11:38 PM

Seemed like most of those fast food workers were white-bread teens doing the work they’re not supposed to be willing to do.

TexasDan on August 8, 2007 at 11:44 PM

Canadian Infidel on August 8, 2007 at 11:38 PM

You were a teenager in the early 1900′s?

TexasDan on August 8, 2007 at 11:45 PM

If this fire in the hole thing really becomes a problem I would guess that spike strips would be the easiest solution.

FloatingRock on August 8, 2007 at 11:47 PM

Canadian Infidel on August 8, 2007 at 11:38 PM

The early 1900′s? In the late 60′s I was terrified to think anyone in our town would see me do something stupid.

By the time I got home, I quite possibly could have been punished 5 times. Then, the dreaded call to my dad from some unknown spy would’ve ended in a smackdown of epic proportions.

Then, worst of all, comes Mom.

BacaDog on August 8, 2007 at 11:47 PM

Oh. Forgot to wrap it up.

Are we all chickenshits now? Are we all afraid to call someone’s dad and tell them their kid is a dumbass?

Where are the spys?

BacaDog on August 8, 2007 at 11:50 PM

With all the talk of pulling out weaves and fists fights, I’m getting from these segments that MKH group up in the hood or something.

frankj on August 9, 2007 at 12:11 AM

Now that O’Reilly has deputized MK to help police the net, she’ll need a badge to exercise her authority.

Zorro on August 8, 2007 at 10:21 PM

MK with a badge? Will she have a gun, too? I’m all a tingle.

Barntender on August 9, 2007 at 12:17 AM

TexasDan on August 8, 2007 at 11:45 PM

No I just feel like it. :)
I feel like I’m living through 1938 again though.

BacaDog on August 8, 2007 at 11:47 PM

I live in a small town also. That feeling of community wasn’t exactly a bad thing.

As to “Are we all chickenshits now? Are we all afraid to call someone’s dad and tell them their kid is a dumbass?” Today, no person’s child is a dumbass. Everyone’s child is perfect; just try to tell a parent otherwise. I wouldn’t want to be a teacher today.

Canadian Infidel on August 9, 2007 at 12:28 AM

If there’s not a hell I’m going to be real disappointed.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Christoph on August 9, 2007 at 12:31 AM

“…Cheaters… The show doesn’t have much going for it except that the guy hosting it was stabbed one time on camera during one of the confrontations.”

Yeah, that turned me on too.

Christoph on August 9, 2007 at 12:34 AM

Between Miller Time and MKH, my Wednesday night is complete.

As for the highlighted websites, Karma is going to be visiting specific people at the appropriate times. Can’t wait. ;-)

itzWicks on August 9, 2007 at 12:38 AM

I really hope Bill can find a better use for MKH.
Canadian Infidel on August 8, 2007 at 11:11 PM

Here is my idea of a better use for MKH:
B.O’R. retire, give the show full time to Michelle and let MKH guest host when Michelle is on vacation.

LegendHasIt on August 9, 2007 at 12:40 AM

Fire in the hole reminds me of a guy I knew that used to work in a drive through. A guy tried to run off without paying for his beer; he(the driver) got a hammer through his back window.

- The Cat

P.S. Not a Katharine Hammer though

MirCat on August 9, 2007 at 12:58 AM

If that “fire in the hole” crap isn’t stopped now, it will escalate. Mark my words.

JinxMcHue on August 9, 2007 at 1:07 AM

As was mentioned once already, these “policing the net” segments are a waste of MKH’s mind. O’Reilly would do anything for ratings, but I expect better from The Hammer. What’s next — reviewing porn? “Isn’t that awful, Mary Katherine Ham? How do they even get that thing all the way in?” “Well, Bill, anything’s possible when you’re sufficiently motivated!” *giggle*

And Allah, while these throwaway posts may garner hits & comments, I must caution you with a slightly modified monologue of our favorite alien sage: “Remember, a site’s strength flows from its reputation. But beware the dark side! Sleaze, trash, The View — the dark side are they! Carelessly post you, and quick to snag traffic. But if once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your blog’s destiny.”

Seriously, dude. I love a good laugh, and I enjoy most everything you post, but you don’t need to stoop this low.

Splashman on August 9, 2007 at 1:27 AM

Fire in the hole reminds me of a guy I knew that used to work in a drive through. A guy tried to run off without paying for his beer; he(the driver) got a hammer through his back window.

Yep. The solution is to have ‘good arms’ manning the drive-thru window, a fist-sized rock next to the register, and managers/owners who (somehow) fail to see said rock.

Let the little ‘fire-in-the-hole’ bitch explain to daddy how the rather large dent happened to the back-end of his new SUV!

RedCrow on August 9, 2007 at 1:58 AM

Fire in the hole reminds me of a guy I knew that used to work in a drive through. A guy tried to run off without paying for his beer; he(the driver) got a hammer through his back window.

Yep. The solution is to have ‘good arms’ manning the drive-thru window, a fist-sized rock next to the register, and managers/owners who (somehow) fail to see said rock.

Let the little ‘fire-in-the-hole’ b*tch explain to daddy how the rather large dent happened to the back-end of his new SUV!

RedCrow on August 9, 2007 at 1:59 AM

It’s out of control!

WisCon on August 9, 2007 at 2:11 AM

Great stuff AP.

This saves me from watching the whole show.

Yoshi on August 9, 2007 at 3:36 AM

Like they mentioned in the segment, throwing a drink at the clerk is assault. And in some places, like Virginia, throwing something out of a car at a person is a felony. So, they can show their little videos to their new cellmate ‘BigBubba’….maybe he’ll laugh so hard he’ll make them his pet.

wolfva on August 9, 2007 at 3:43 AM

I think a 45 caliber 230 gr JHP hitting the chest at 800 ft/s would go a long way to ending those shenanagans.

and in short order.

TheSitRep on August 9, 2007 at 7:29 AM

I’m glad MKH is getting a check, but I find it hard to believe FOX is effectively paying Bill to learn about the internet.

doufree on August 9, 2007 at 8:25 AM

This just goes to prove that there is no such thing as TOO MUCH Mary Katharine Ham.

Always Right on August 9, 2007 at 10:28 AM

I was unaware that Kos’ wife had a website.

Kowboy on August 9, 2007 at 10:31 AM

Every drive thru employee needs to have an uncovered big gulp handy (no ice) to aim straight at the video camera. A couple of clips ending suddenly with Diet Coke flying at it should curb the stupidity.

jjjen on August 9, 2007 at 10:55 AM

Drive-thru workers of America unite! Deliver capsicum justice into the eyeballs of the ingreats that abuse you!

Then while they’re crying into their steering wheels in pain, do a hardcore fuckin’ ‘smeats’ on their vehicle.

Explain that to yer daddy, fucker.

Ochlan on August 9, 2007 at 11:02 AM

I saw the fire in the hole video first at fark.com. Where the comments are usually very liberal and sometimes immature, I was encouraged to see them overwhelmingly hostile to these pranks.

fark comments

I find them very unfunny. And while I wouldn’t go as far as the farker who said “It would make me smile to see these guys t-boned by a semi as they drive away.” I would agree with most of the other comments.

craig on August 9, 2007 at 11:14 AM

A perfect example of why I cannot stand to watch or listen to O’Reilly: he asks questions, and then interrupts constantly instead of allowing the guest/interviewee a chance to answer.

…and usually his interruption is some kind of rant about how smart or fair he is…(methinks he doth protest too much!)

landlines on August 9, 2007 at 11:35 AM

A perfect example of why I cannot stand to watch or listen to O’Reilly: he asks questions, and then interrupts constantly instead of allowing the guest/interviewee a chance to answer.

…and usually his interruption is some kind of rant about how smart or fair he is…(methinks he doth protest too much!)

landlines on August 9, 2007 at 11:35 AM

Yeah, he does. That is because he is a self-important bore. I have heard that he is a genuine A-hole but people kiss his ring because he has ratings, thus sway.
He was ok back when he was starting out. His fame and influence have gone to his head.

TheSitRep on August 9, 2007 at 12:04 PM

That “fire in the hole” idiocy wasn’t funny at all. Not even in a “stupid, guilty, offensive way.”

JimRich on August 9, 2007 at 12:20 PM

It’d be simple enough to stop these idiot drive-thru pranksters. Get a camera to take a picture of every license plate that goes through, then prosecute several of them.

Spitfire9 on August 9, 2007 at 12:23 PM

I worked fast food through high school and part of college.

Having a fast food job is tough enough. You’re not making much (which is fine, it’s unskilled labor) but you work long hours on your feet with short breaks and, every now and then, if you’re lucky, one of your customers will let you know how stupid they assume you are (since only idiots work fast food).

But, apparently, that’s not enough for these jerks. They think that you also need to be assaulted while you work so they can entertain their idiot friends and other fools on the internet.

Most likely, after having a super-sized soda thrown in your face, you get to keep working (in your soaked and sticky clothes) until there is a break in the drivethru traffic. Then, you get to clean up the area around you (which is probably super sticky now). And finally, you get to rinse out your own clothes and work the next couple hours in wet clothing (which is slightly better than working in sticky clothing).

It’s not funny at all.

JadeNYU on August 9, 2007 at 1:56 PM

Here’s a little proof that karma works.

It’s some young idiots driving around in their car pushing children off of their bicycles – maybe killing them – just for fun. And – of course – they’re videotaping it, since it’s just so darn funny.

Hilarious, right?

Well, things don’t go so well for these living pieces of evidence that Darwin may have had a point. And guess what? It’s now on YouTube.

And THIS is funny. Really funny. You get to see somebody get exactly what they deserve:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bi7Vb0GHnms

Professor Blather on August 9, 2007 at 3:16 PM

Yeah… so they should have a spike strip or whatever at drive-throughs… yeah? :P

Seixon on August 9, 2007 at 4:30 PM