Quote of the day

posted at 10:30 pm on August 8, 2007 by Bryan

“I’m not an alchoholic, I’m a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.”

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And then there’s the old classic:

“I don’t have a drinking problem. I drink, I get drunk, I pass out……no problem!”

infidel4life on August 8, 2007 at 10:34 PM

“I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.”

“If there are no cigars in Heaven, I shall not go.”

- Mark Twain

MB4 on August 8, 2007 at 10:37 PM

Heh, this is an oldie but a goodie. I think I did this one at doubleplusundead…yep, nearly a week ago, damn, I should have sent it to the tipline.

Bad Candy on August 8, 2007 at 10:39 PM

Lindsay? Is that you?

Weight of Glory on August 8, 2007 at 10:42 PM

And neither are immune from going to the pen.

Dusty on August 8, 2007 at 10:44 PM

I hope she is not too pickled to be embarrassed, and that this arrest will turn her around. I recommend an 13-step program, beginning with the familiar 12 and culminating in purging her wardrobe of all black t-shirts.

RushBaby on August 8, 2007 at 10:51 PM

This is a little old.

This was first posted in the Smoking Gun on August 1, 2007.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0801071drunk1.html

WUSA got it from WTSP which probably got it from the Smoking Gun.

slp on August 9, 2007 at 12:41 AM

I thought I couldn’t afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: “Oh well,” and I went back to smoking again, and that was better. – - Benny Hill

Entelechy on August 9, 2007 at 1:10 AM

Hil Clinton wore a shirt today that said, “If you expect me to stay home and bake cookies, I’m your girl!”

Any oldtimers know what I’m referencing?

Doug on August 9, 2007 at 2:00 AM

Was that around the time she insulted Tammy Wynette?

SuperManGreenLantern on August 9, 2007 at 2:25 AM

I’m not drunk and high right now, I’m just more in tune with the universe

libertytexan on August 9, 2007 at 3:12 AM

She needs our prayers.

Zorro on August 9, 2007 at 6:32 AM

A drunken card dealer on the highways! What is this world coming to? Back to the trailer sweetie.

saved on August 9, 2007 at 7:00 AM

Bryan, I’m sure you looked high and low for that image.
It probalby would go faster if you look while sober.

(Montey Python?)

TunaTalon on August 9, 2007 at 8:36 AM

Dean Martin famously said, “I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s the best they are going to feel all day.” He was such a funny drunk, one of a few at the time, but now it seems we can’t laugh about it anymore.

smellthecoffee on August 9, 2007 at 9:59 AM

I think the way she felt after she got arrested is described best by one of my favorites:

Life is a sh*t filled Twinkie and today is just another bite.

Kowboy on August 9, 2007 at 10:29 AM

“If there are no cigars in Heaven, I shall not go.”

Referring to another common vice:

In heaven there is no beer.
That’s why we drink it here.
And when we’re gone from here,
All our friends will be drinking all the beer.

Bigfoot on August 9, 2007 at 2:42 PM