Can a magazine story about Christian nudists be boring?
posted at 1:39 pm on August 6, 2007 by Allahpundit
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A-yup, especially when it fails to, er, flesh out a juicy anecdote about naked Christians trying to convert a naked atheist in a hot tub. Still, it’s nice to see the usual man-among-the-apes tone of the media’s reporting on Christians semi-justified for once by the oddness of the circumstances here — even if it is a little gratuitous with the ugly details:
One woman sits facing the congregation. She’s clothed only in a pair of thin cotton shorts with an elastic waistband hiked up almost to meet her large, heavy breasts. She takes hold of one breast, lifts it off her stomach and covers the flesh underneath with a thick swipe of deodorant. She moves slowly and deliberately. No one seems to notice.
If anything, the group would be hard-pressed to understand why an outsider might find it offensive. Why wouldn’t you want to sit at the dinner table with your plate of Cherokee’s famous barbecue and come face-to-face with a passerby’s penis as you gnaw on a drumstick?…
The CNC women agree that the nudist resort is one of the few places where they aren’t judged by the size of their breasts or the style of their clothes. But that doesn’t explain why, even here, some of them have traces of eyeliner on their lids, artfully feathered hair and nether regions waxed—in some cases, full-Brazilian style, which is to say, bare—to high heaven.
MKH does what she can to salvage a political angle from this otherwise neutral tale of faith, freedom, and fat.
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Do I even want to click on the link?
Vanceone on August 6, 2007 at 1:42 PM
^^the same question i asked myself, lol
mainmann on August 6, 2007 at 1:43 PM
I do believe this story falls under the category of “Slow Day In The News Room”.
pilamaye on August 6, 2007 at 1:44 PM
I question the use of the raw meat image, oh wait never mind, I see the connection now.
JayHaw Phrenzie on August 6, 2007 at 1:49 PM
I try.
marykatharine on August 6, 2007 at 1:50 PM
Welcome to August at Hot Air. We’ll be praying for a dancing robot story in a week at this rate.
Number 2 on August 6, 2007 at 1:50 PM
fat. naked.
two words that do not want to make me click the link.
i second the humping robot motion.
lorien1973 on August 6, 2007 at 1:55 PM
As a christian I resent this:
Have you no decency? I can see the beads of sweat running to her navel…
Makes you want to be an atheist, until you go and see what the atheists gals look like.
Just to show that she is very biblical.
right2bright on August 6, 2007 at 1:55 PM
Thanks. It will haunt my dreams.
nailinmyeye on August 6, 2007 at 1:58 PM
why are people who go to these nudist things people who should never be naked in the first place? yep. i clicked the link. i’m haunted by the saggy ..well.. everything.
lorien1973 on August 6, 2007 at 1:58 PM
The image he paints is incorrect. the droopy boobs will clearly act as a gut-shield wiper on the way down, preventing any sweat from ever reaching the navel – given a proper swaying motion while walking or running.
lorien1973 on August 6, 2007 at 1:59 PM
It’s pretty much a given that if a group of people want to go around naked, they’re people you really don’t want to see naked.
High Desert Wanderer on August 6, 2007 at 1:59 PM
Not clicking it, no sir!
baldilocks on August 6, 2007 at 2:02 PM
We did, you do it.
right2bright on August 6, 2007 at 2:05 PM
Any story that begins with this can’t end well.
JackStraw on August 6, 2007 at 2:07 PM
Why did this story have to come from my back yard?
More importantly … why exactly is it that all the people who want to be nudists are always – always – the very same people who should pretty much never take their clothes off?
Professor Blather on August 6, 2007 at 2:17 PM
CNC deodorant: strong enough for an armpit, but made for fromunda.
James on August 6, 2007 at 2:20 PM
Hillary, wearing a muumuu.
I have the same question the good Professor Blather had.
Entelechy on August 6, 2007 at 2:23 PM
Just can’t wait for the inevitable underbreast deoderant commercials to pop up now at dinnertime. Great.
PatrickS on August 6, 2007 at 2:24 PM
Sure, but the tone would be justified for any nudist camp, not just a Christian one.
Esthier on August 6, 2007 at 2:24 PM
Rather unfortunate wording for nudists.
James on August 6, 2007 at 2:25 PM
I will admit to have been in the middle of an au naturel religious debate in a Idaho hot spring recently. Fun times!
firepilot on August 6, 2007 at 2:26 PM
That’s your problem. :-P
I’m obliged to look at only one slighty round, middle-aged female in the buff and that’s my lunch-retaining limit.
baldilocks on August 6, 2007 at 2:37 PM
Now I understand why some things are better left to the imagination.
Kini on August 6, 2007 at 2:42 PM
Nudity sounds so appealing until you actually see some people nude.
Are you sure these people are Christian, or is it just the constant cries of “Good Lord!!!!!” when unsuspecting person catches a glimpse?
Boob deodorant? “Ice Blue Secret” for sensitive nipples.
Thanks for not posting a video of them dancing.
Hening on August 6, 2007 at 2:47 PM
You know it’s time to hit the treadmill when you’re applying under-breast deodorant.
congsan on August 6, 2007 at 2:49 PM
No cute Christian girls…
I keep looking for cute Christian girls who are single and come up short….
Tim Burton on August 6, 2007 at 2:53 PM
27 comments in the first 83 minutes won’t get you the 1000-plus I predicted. Maybe this needs a Christopher Hitchens connection.
Attila (Pillage Idiot) on August 6, 2007 at 3:04 PM
As strange a story as this is, in all seriousness, “Christian nudism” is not Scriptural. That ended with Adam and Eve after they sinned. Read Genesis, chapter 3.
CP on August 6, 2007 at 3:08 PM
I clicked. The headline alone deserved a page view.
TunaTalon on August 6, 2007 at 3:17 PM
My only question is WHERE THE HELL ARE ALL THE HOTTIES YOU SEE IN THOSE DAMN CHRISTIAN ROCK TV ADS?
Whenever I catch one of those “Our God in an awesome God – ORDER NOW!” ads, there’s a TON of hot babes out there in the audience at these Christian rock concerts. Why couldn’t some of THEM be nudists? HUH????
Where’s your God now?
Enrique on August 6, 2007 at 3:18 PM
AP finds stories every day that highlight the few strange or imperfect believers out there, as well as anything having to do with that fanatical bully Hitchens, but ignored are the millions of kind, generous, loving Christians all around. The Church does more good and less bad per capita than any other institution on Earth.
jgapinoy on August 6, 2007 at 3:43 PM
Enrique, you are sad. You will see God one day, & you’ll tremble & pee your pants & faint at the sight of His greatness.
jgapinoy on August 6, 2007 at 3:46 PM
Ok…that is so wrong. Thank God for clothing!
ProudPatriot on August 6, 2007 at 4:05 PM
Maybe you should quit looking in the backseat.
right2bright on August 6, 2007 at 4:25 PM
Gettin down with the old testament.
right2bright on August 6, 2007 at 4:46 PM
I still haven’t recovered from clicking on the “Boobs not Bombs” link. I’ll sit this one out.
ticticboom on August 6, 2007 at 4:48 PM
Yeah, Brazilian wax, that’s the best kind.
TheSitRep on August 6, 2007 at 5:04 PM
Well, if you really MUST know, Enrique, I just got married to one of those “HOTTIES” on 7-7-07. She’s a dedicated Christian and (just like MM) she is a beautiful little 100-lb Filipina woman. Oh yeah, and BTW, she’s 25 years younger than me — and she IS HOT.
Not much doubt in my mind about my God’s whereabouts.
Oh, BTW, did AllahPundit get you your new Chicago Cubs T-shirt yet? It’s all the rage among atheists (chic to wear one), ya’know.
My collie says:
CyberCipher on August 6, 2007 at 5:22 PM
Just goes to show there is no copyright on the term Christian. Pat Robertson would not approve.
Maxx on August 6, 2007 at 5:24 PM
A wise decision. I just lost my appetite for the next couple of days.
infidel4life on August 6, 2007 at 5:24 PM
Well that proves their not Baptist… Baptist don’t dance… and as the old joke goes. Do you know why Baptist don’t make love standing up…… because somebody might think their dancing. (yeah I know… not funny … but I was raised Baptist so I’m allow to tell that joke)
Maxx on August 6, 2007 at 5:40 PM
If I had a nickel for every time someone has asked me that!
RightWinged on August 6, 2007 at 6:40 PM
Well there’s a group I won’t be joining.
deepdiver on August 6, 2007 at 11:06 PM
Just thinking about what pix they would have attached to this article would keep me awake. No, I didn’t click on the link. I know it would be worse than I could imagine.
Texas Nick 77 on August 7, 2007 at 2:42 AM
In the simplest possible terms, it is unBiblical to be unclothed publicly. Under the heading of “nobody is perfect”, there are Christians of all kinds, and we all err in some way or another regarding obedience to the Lord, but this behavior is in direct disobedience to Scripture, and should not be considered Christian behavior whatsoever.
Again, I am not saying that those participating are not Christian, as their salvation by faith is between them and God, just that they are failing miserably regarding the Biblical standard of modesty and decency.
Enrique, God couldn’t possibly be less concerned about your physical appetites and lusts; yours or anybody else’s. If your only standard for what a woman should be regards appearance, I’m certain that you’ll get exactly what you deserve. For myself, I’m blessed with a Proverbs 31 wife.
Freelancer on August 7, 2007 at 3:22 AM
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