Silky’s wife: I’ll fight global warming by cutting back on tangerines

posted at 4:45 pm on July 24, 2007 by Allahpundit

An absurd statement hides a serious point. Silky insists he doesn’t want to tax food but a trade policy that would force businesses to financially “acknowledge” their carbon footprint would have that effect. The further food has to be shipped, the more transportation is involved, the greater the footprint. Hence Mrs. Silky’s vow to skip the tropical offerings like the tangerine and stick with the fruit of the local vine henceforth. It’s all a question of how much hardcore global warming warriors are willing to personally sacrifice. Carbon ratings on product labels? Eco-houses? Vegetarianism? Vasectomies? When you’re finally growing your own, you’ve reached climate change nirvana.

Exit question: Does this mean they weren’t serving pineapple on that private jet Silky used to get to last night’s debate? Exit question two: Isn’t the real solution here more flying saucers?

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If it will make Mrs. Silky feel better I pledge to drink only domestic wine.

TunaTalon on July 24, 2007 at 4:52 PM

I think Greg Gutfeld’s staire on this a few days ago was awesome. He said that cannibalism would be a great way to stop global warming, and that we should start with the Goracle himself.

This whole global warming thing is just getting pathetic…

Chudi on July 24, 2007 at 4:52 PM

Vegetarianism. Hee. Eat more beans, that’ll cut down on methane.

God, I think I just out-lowbrowed myself.

Tanya on July 24, 2007 at 4:52 PM

Exit question: Does this mean they weren’t serving pineapple on that private jet Silky used to get to last night’s debate?

I’ve had considerable success growing pineapples here in Georgia, so he’s welcome to wing on over anytime and I will sell them to him at an exorbitant price.

Brat on July 24, 2007 at 4:53 PM

In Silky’s world, corporations should deduct the increased taxes from their profits instead of passing it on to the consumer….

I think that GG’s solution to reducing the methane footprint of vegetarians was to begin eating them.

rw on July 24, 2007 at 4:54 PM

But, Tanya, I think AP digs that in chicks.

I still love Richardson and Biden kinda of looking around and the half hand raise. Geez.

KelliD on July 24, 2007 at 4:56 PM

Exit question two: Isn’t the real solution here more flying saucers?

I’ve always thought that by now we should all be zooming around like the Jetsons – but what powers their crafts?

Brat on July 24, 2007 at 4:56 PM

When you’re A’m faanally growing your maa own, you a’ve reached climate change leadership nirvana.

Entelechy on July 24, 2007 at 4:56 PM

I’m willing to give up beets. They taste like pond scum.

RedWinged Blackbird on July 24, 2007 at 4:57 PM

Forgot to attribute the quote to Mr. Silky.

Entelechy on July 24, 2007 at 4:57 PM

But, Tanya, I think AP digs that in chicks.

Heh. Kinda doubt it.

Tanya on July 24, 2007 at 4:59 PM

Sorry, not a good day apparently – should read

“When A’m faanally growing maa own, A’ve reached leadership nirvana; haever, A’ve got prettiness and self-importance to deal with first”.

- – Mr. Silky

Entelechy on July 24, 2007 at 5:00 PM

As much as I hate the obsession with global warming, the flying saucer idea is a positive step regardless of the motivation. I don’t agree with government mandates, but some very limited incentives would be acceptable. For the most part, the free market is the way to go.

Is it acceptable to challenge the candidates wives when they enter into the political fray as Silky’s wife has done? I think it is because I don’t believe anyone who runs for office is entitled to a absolute moral authority card.

And yes, they will be serving pineapple on their private jets because they will purchase offsets.

csdeven on July 24, 2007 at 5:01 PM

Oh, Oh, posters remorse. I can’t really give up Australian shiraz.

It looks like I can’t make Mr. or Mrs. Pony happy.

TunaTalon on July 24, 2007 at 5:02 PM

“I took the TRAIN….and I took the BUS….”

I don’t know why, but, the way Senator Gravel (I think that’s who it was) said that cracked me up.

JadeNYU on July 24, 2007 at 5:05 PM

I’ve always thought that by now we should all be zooming around like the Jetsons – but what powers their crafts?

Brat on July 24, 2007 at 4:56 PM

Little tiny smoke rings that emanate from the tailpipe. :-)

csdeven on July 24, 2007 at 5:05 PM

Hold it a second.

Michael Mooore says we are supposed to eat our fruits and vegetables to avoid getting sick, and now a potential first lady is recommending locally grown stuff.

I think my head is going to explode, this is all so overwhelming.

swami on July 24, 2007 at 5:10 PM

I guess if I was an eviromental warrior, I’d have to give up golf. There is a company in Seattle that makes golf clubs, so my carbon footprint to get the clubs is low…..but wait, they had to import the steel, graphite, and rubber grips. Oh well, no one in this area makes golf balls, and I wouldn’t want to waste carbon offsets to buy golf balls. One more pleasure denied for the sake of Mother Earth.

I’m so depressed I am going to go home and bbq some ribs, light a fire for atmosphere, and turn the A/C on.

Mallard T. Drake on July 24, 2007 at 5:13 PM

When you’re finally growing your own, you’ve reached climate change nirvana.

Oh, the lefties grow their own, but they don’t eat it unless its baked in a brownie.

Bad Candy on July 24, 2007 at 5:14 PM

If all who believe that man is causing Global Warming would just quit exhaling, that’ll cut way back on CO2. 10 minutes oughta do it!

Ordinary1 on July 24, 2007 at 5:18 PM

OK, the potato.New world legume, brought to Europe, helped many families survive until that blight/famine thing. As I seem to remember, that was somewhat of the genesis of the Democrat Party here in the US when the surviving Irish families came here. Just sayin…..

bbz123 on July 24, 2007 at 5:22 PM

Tangerines are gay.

I don’t know what that means.

Cuffy Meigs on July 24, 2007 at 5:25 PM

Wasn’t Hillary the one who said when she turns off her lights at home she says “take that, (add despot who runs oil producing country)!”

Bad Candy on July 24, 2007 at 5:26 PM

I wonder, in his 30,000 sq. ft. home, how much of that material was local?

With his rationale, he will say that a G450 or G550 was manufactured in S.C., therefore flying private Gulfstream jets is carbon nuetral.

right2bright on July 24, 2007 at 5:27 PM

Who wants to start a pool on the year when a group of the hardest of the hard-core Greens commit mass suicide? Screw offsets and veganism, nothing reduces your carbon footprint like death. I’ll put $50 that it’ll happen before 2015. Before 2012 if a Republican wins in ’08.

To quote Stalin, “Death resolves all problems. No men, no problems.”

Thomas the Wraith on July 24, 2007 at 5:30 PM

If “responsible” people eat only locally grown produce, won’t there be a whole lotta hungry folks in NYC & LA?

kjspeedial on July 24, 2007 at 5:32 PM

No, silly, Socialism will save NY and LA!

Bad Candy on July 24, 2007 at 5:35 PM

Right, BadCandy, we will grow the taters and they will eat them. Sounds good to them.

bbz123 on July 24, 2007 at 5:41 PM

the valley, as they call it in califonia (no, the other valley–the san joachin (sp?)) grows like 90% of the nations produce. there will be hungry responsible people everywhere.

TexasDan on July 24, 2007 at 5:46 PM

They’ll have to pry the tangelos out of my warm, citrus-tacky fingers.

Transportation carbon worries, John?

Teleportation is the solution.

A cause that the nutroots could all get behind.

(So far only partialy-successful at the sub-atomic level, but hey, nano-tangerines are coming!)

profitsbeard on July 24, 2007 at 5:47 PM

Tangerines, Schmangerines…I wanna hear about the carbon impact of The Price is Right gig goin to Drew Carey instead of Rosie…

Wind Rider on July 24, 2007 at 5:50 PM

fruit of the local vine

They’re going to eat tobacco and tasteless white corn?

Freelancer on July 24, 2007 at 6:06 PM

If I spit the seeds out into my yard while I’m eating a tangerine, does that count as a tree planting for a carbon offset?

Maybe next she announce she’s only air-conditioning 27,000 sf of her 28,000 sf house.

pedestrian on July 24, 2007 at 6:11 PM

Tangerines are gay.

I don’t know what that means.

No, tangerines are perfectly fine. It’s the “tangelos” you gotta keep a close eye on.

robblefarian on July 24, 2007 at 6:15 PM

Freelancer on July 24, 2007 at 6:06 PM

Hey, hey hey, we grow a pretty darn good blueberry out here.

And it seems possums grow on the side of the road.

right2bright on July 24, 2007 at 6:15 PM

Oh Goody!! That’s more for me!!

Zaire67 on July 24, 2007 at 6:39 PM

I wonder, in his 30,000 sq. ft. home, how much of that material was local?

right2bright on July 24, 2007 at 5:27 PM

I know that everyone else here is taking this part as a given, but I just can’t do it: Silky Underalls and his lefty wife are talking about giving up tangerines because of their “carbon footprint” and they built a 28,000 square foot house on a 100 acre parcel of (formerly) wooded land.

He will burn more fossil fuels and use more groundwater at this place every year than my family will in a full decade or more in our suburban home.

They are so full of sh*t — who listens to them?

Jaibones on July 24, 2007 at 6:43 PM

If “responsible” people eat only locally grown produce, won’t there be a whole lotta hungry folks in NYC & LA?
kjspeedial on July 24, 2007 at 5:32 PM

Early on in this “local-seasonal-organic” movement, I saw one of its advocates on TV, insisting that people should actually be growing most all of their own food. The interviewer said “Well, that seems fine for people with enough land, but what about people in the cities?…” The smiling yout said “Absolutely. That’s why we’re going to empty the cities! Everyone has to move back to the land.” This was followed by an awkward silence, a thanks for the guest’s appearance and the end of the segment. (You up for that, AP?)

Isn’t the real solution here more flying saucers?

In that article promoting the saucers, they didn’t talk about their propulsion. My guess is that they were uncomfortable having to discuss that they’re still having trouble with that whole anti-gravity thing.

eeyore on July 24, 2007 at 6:53 PM

Oh my friends, you must realize the supreme sacrifice she is making for the environment! Here is an article that claims tangerines inhibit cancer. She loves the earth that much!

http://www.mercola.com/2000/apr/23/oranges_iinhiibit_cancer.htm

kooly on July 24, 2007 at 6:57 PM

That’s why I love Wisconsin. All the milk and beer you can drink, with none of the high transportation guilt.

BadgerHawk on July 24, 2007 at 7:04 PM

Her not eating tangerines will put the growers out of business and disemploy the possibly legally challenged undocumented Americans picking said fruits, thereby solving the immigration crisis, the global warming crisis, and the economy crisis all at once.

Seriously, if she has terminal cancer, I hope she scarfs down all the tangerines that will bring her a scintilla of happiness for her duration on this mortal plane.

OTOH, I wonder what Silky’s trophy wife will look like…

TinMan13 on July 24, 2007 at 7:23 PM

I imagine Mrs. Silky like her husband wife, are a couple fruit of the loons. Till now, I just though they were a couple of nuts. Then I realized, only men have those.

Kini on July 24, 2007 at 7:25 PM

Wow I did not know cows ate tangerines .

Mojack420 on July 24, 2007 at 7:39 PM

What about kumquats?

MrFreeman07 on July 24, 2007 at 7:41 PM

Now there’s a “loaded” friut!

MrFreeman07 on July 24, 2007 at 7:42 PM

No, tangerines are perfectly fine. It’s the “tangelos” you gotta keep a close eye on.

robblefarian on July 24, 2007 at 6:15 PM

Au contraire…both tangerines and tangelos are fine. It’s the trangerines and trangelos that cause the most worry. There you are, peeling open what you think is a luscious bit of tart citrus, and…SURPRISE!

On a (slightly) more thread-worthy note, watch out for the Silky Scurvy, Elizabeth!

James on July 24, 2007 at 7:46 PM

OTOH, I wonder what Silky’s trophy wife will look like…

what have you already forgot what jon kerri looks like???

and i think Silky is going to be the wife .

Mojack420 on July 24, 2007 at 7:47 PM

Does this mean no more tangerine lip gloss when she answers the door?

infidel4life on July 24, 2007 at 7:50 PM

I liked Gravel
“I took a train, I took a bus!”

And Richardson didn’t count because it was the day before D’oh!

PowWow on July 24, 2007 at 7:56 PM

That’s why we’re going to empty the cities!

Yikes! Shades of Pol Pot…

Bad Penny on July 24, 2007 at 8:58 PM

Not eating tangerines,larger footprint.
These people are nuts.
GOBAL WARMING isn,t real,unless you live in the
mind of a ENVIROMENTAL WACKO.
If anything our SUN is pumping out a lot more
than humans can possible do.

Here,s a link to what our Sun
is doing in real time:http://sohowww.nascom.nasa.gov.

canopfor on July 24, 2007 at 9:00 PM

Speaking of fruit that fails to deliver the goods,
looks like Apple has another Newton/Lisa on its hands with the iPhone. If AllahPundit holds on a little longer, he’ll probably be able to get one for free. (Just hang-out in the back of Fry’s where the dumpsters are located.)

CyberCipher on July 24, 2007 at 9:08 PM

I’ve long contended a man should grow his own. OK, Allen Iverson has long contended that, but you know what I mean.

Blacksheep on July 24, 2007 at 9:45 PM

I’m giving up persimmons. Read my lips. No new persimmons.

Qzsusy on July 24, 2007 at 9:54 PM

Well, let’s consider the effects. A product like Rain Forest Crunch with “sustainable nuts” will be as dear as gold. Bet that company will like that. For a moment, it’s entertaining enough, but for the simple folks who couldn’t afford the overpriced tin in the first place:
How much will these common breakfast foodstuffs cost?
Coffee
Tea
Bananas
Madame Edwards is suggesting a massive. comprehensive trade tariff that will plunge the world into a depression that will make the Big One look like a cake-walk.

With a private living, climatically-controlled environment at 25,000 square feet or something ridiculous, with all the amenities, the Edwards do not appear to be the kind of types who “give up” ANYTHING.

naliaka on July 24, 2007 at 10:19 PM

They are so full of sh*t — who listens to them?
Jaibones on July 24, 2007 at 6:43 PM

Hehe.
How many trees died in the clear-cut to make space for that compound?

naliaka on July 24, 2007 at 10:23 PM

Isn’t the first rule of economics that the basic PRICE reflects all the INPUTS that went into producing and delivering the final product to the CONSUMER?
That includes transportation costs.
It’s already factored in. If a bunch of bananas can be sold in the USA, after being grown, harvested and shipped thousands of miles from Costa Rica to all points in the USA for $1-$2 pound, then the producers and transporters are ALREADY running a rather incredibly efficient system aren’t they?

naliaka on July 24, 2007 at 10:30 PM

That’s why I love Wisconsin. All the milk and beer you can drink, with none of the high transportation guilt.

BadgerHawk on July 24, 2007 at 7:04 PM

New Glarus Beer, cheese curds and brats. Long Live Wisconsin!

major john on July 24, 2007 at 11:42 PM

New Glarus Beer, cheese curds and brats. Long Live Wisconsin!

major john on July 24, 2007 at 11:42 PM

*wistfully* Do you think Wisconsin would ever do trade with Texas? We have Shiner bock, pulled beef BBQ and jalapeños…

RushBaby on July 25, 2007 at 12:29 AM

So oranges are actively causing global warming by belching 12903573295235 tons of CO2 into the atmosphere, thus killing baby seals?

Wow. There’s no link the eco-Marxists won’t draw.

Ryan Gandy on July 25, 2007 at 12:41 AM

Can you say scurvy?

- The Cat

No, tangerines are perfectly fine. It’s the “tangelos” you gotta keep a close eye on.

robblefarian on July 24, 2007 at 6:15 PM

Yeah, they’re the Metro-Sexuals of the citrus world.

P.S. Free the oranges! Viva la citrus! (rolls orange down the isle)

Man, I haven’t done that in years.

MirCat on July 25, 2007 at 2:08 AM

The whole “don’t waste energy on food transportation” thing really irks me. The centralized growing and subsequent distribution of agricultural products is one of the main reasons we have enough time to do other worthy things like develop medicines, invent new technologies, and worry about the state of our world in the first place. There’s already a huge locally-grown food “movement,” billions of people strong. It’s called the Third World.

In addition, the food transportation infrastructure that exists today not only helps most Americans leave the farm and pursue other goals, but also prevents things like famine when local droughts hit. Sure, if it doesn’t rain in California for a few months, the price of lettuce goes up a little, but if we didnt have “industrial farming” with a lot of energy spent on irrigation, fertilization, and transportation, we’d be much more likely to starve.

Big S on July 25, 2007 at 2:30 AM

Does this mean that I must cut down my tangerine tree or Silky will sue me by channeling into my root system and, God forbid, find cankor and sue me again for abusing my tangerine tree? Whaaaaaat?

lynnv on July 25, 2007 at 8:00 AM

What global warming ?

Maxx on July 25, 2007 at 9:54 AM

But she’ll continue to fly around in private jets to the locations where the fruits are grown?

Mig on July 25, 2007 at 10:26 AM

damn..and Rosie’s Tangerine diet was going so well.

malkinmania on July 25, 2007 at 4:44 PM