Planned Parenthood helpfully explains to teen what a “golden shower” is

posted at 6:03 pm on July 12, 2007 by Allahpundit

Really? A teenager with enough Internet savvy to find the Planned Parenthood website for adolescents and register for e-mail privileges didn’t think to google the term first or check the Urban Dictionary? The big A calls BS, particularly as regards the ostentatiously teen-ish spelling of “I’ve”.

Check out the “recent questions” column too. Exit question: When do they start making up the t-shirts?


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Isn’t that how Zeus appeared to Danae?

(I don’t get out much.)

see-dubya on July 12, 2007 at 6:05 PM

Filth.

congsan on July 12, 2007 at 6:09 PM

Don’t eat the yellow snow!

df4jc on July 12, 2007 at 6:09 PM

How do you even find this stuff, AP?

Tru2my2 on July 12, 2007 at 6:10 PM

Is this what puts the “P” in “allahPundit”?

Janos Hunyadi on July 12, 2007 at 6:10 PM

At least they didn’t say to give a golden shower to the dead baby…at least not yet.

Planned Parenthood is a huge misnomer. It’s more like Forced Abortions.

SouthernGent on July 12, 2007 at 6:11 PM

There’s nothing inherently wrong or hurtful about this sex practice, but it is uncommon. Because most people don’t enjoy it, it is considered to be “kinky” behavior. “Kink” is a word used to define sexual behaviors that are not standard.

Is this Planned Parenthood’s standard response to everything?

Beastiality, Homosexuality, Orgies, Pedophilia (sponsored by NAMBLA), Scat.

Planned Parenthood Motto: “Standards? What the hell do you mean standards?”

BKennedy on July 12, 2007 at 6:11 PM

Really? A teenager with enough Internet savvy to find the Planned Parenthood website for adolescents and register for e-mail privileges didn’t think to google the term first or check the Urban Dictionary?

Yeah, I got nothing on that one. I tried googling just to see if it would pop up on the first page and had no problem.

Although, some Planned Parenthoods have a computer in their waiting rooms that’s linked to their site, so she might have asked the question then, when google was not available.

Esthier on July 12, 2007 at 6:14 PM

A better tee:

http://www.cafepress.com/buy/natural+birth/-/pv_design_details/pg_2/id_17954144/opt_/fpt_/c_360/

I sure hope this works. If not, cut and paste.

On-my-soap-box on July 12, 2007 at 6:15 PM

I think Token said it best in South Park when he watched “Backdoor Sluts 9″.

Nethicus on July 12, 2007 at 6:15 PM

If there is nothing inherently wrong with this type of “play,” then why does the nurse wear a hazmat suit when she is handling my urine sample?

What about transfer of disease? What safe sex practices can be applied here? I thought that was there thing.

The Race Card on July 12, 2007 at 6:22 PM

*their

The Race Card on July 12, 2007 at 6:23 PM

Did you see the question about the “pearl necklace” on the sidebar?
A very instructive site.

thegreatbeast on July 12, 2007 at 6:25 PM

Well, i already knew what a golden shower was, but one of the terms on the urban dictionary page you linked to was new to me -

waffle crapper July 8 A chick so hot that you wouldn’t care if she walked up and crapped on your waffle. In fact, you’d probably welcome it

forged rite on July 12, 2007 at 6:26 PM

XX-LARGE: i knocked up a minor and bought her an abortion before dumping her, and her parents will never know. thanks planned parenthood!

jummy on July 12, 2007 at 6:26 PM

If there is nothing inherently wrong with this type of “play,” then why does the nurse wear a hazmat suit when she is handling my urine sample?

Urine is almost sterile. Every nurse I’ve seen just grabs the sample from you without gloves. Urine doesn’t transfer disease, it just smells bad. You can even use it in a crude chem/bio mask in a pinch because it contains ammonia.

PRCalDude on July 12, 2007 at 6:27 PM

dood,

3. jummy
Someone who is extremely fat and hot at the same time.

jummy on July 12, 2007 at 6:27 PM

Officer, this is not vandelism. I am just giving Planed Parenthood a golden shower. I little PP for PP as it were. Oh, and officer, I am sueing you for using the enthic slur vandelism.

- The Cat

MirCat on July 12, 2007 at 6:28 PM

Yeah, and a BJ is not really sex.

As for walking billboard t-shirts: Take a walk down the Seaside Heights boardwalk in New Jersey and look at the t-shirt shops selling Future MILF clothing for kids, or Pornstar. Planned Abortions Parenthood is just trying to get in on the summer shore biz.

Kini on July 12, 2007 at 6:28 PM

I tried to ask that website what a “filthy sanchez” was and didn’t return any results….nor did it know what a “glass bottom boat was” we need more money for sex education on the internet LOLOLOL

Joey1974 on July 12, 2007 at 6:29 PM

Pearl necklace?
What’s next, a Cleavland steamer?

Kini on July 12, 2007 at 6:31 PM

What a sorry bunch of people. A new low.

Zorro on July 12, 2007 at 6:32 PM

This is comprehensive sex education. Teens have questions. Planned Parenthood has ways to answer them to make money from it.

gabriel sutherland on July 12, 2007 at 6:35 PM

Thanks, AP. I think I’ve been scarred for life reading that page. I couldn’t even click on anything else there. I thought what I learned going to public school was bad. I can’t take the relativism.

I think I’m going to join that convent now…

wherestherum on July 12, 2007 at 6:38 PM

What about an “Argentina Backbreaker”?

peacenprosperity on July 12, 2007 at 6:39 PM

chili dog – that’s a good urban dictionary one (dont look if you don’t wanna know – i warned you!)

lorien1973 on July 12, 2007 at 6:41 PM

R. Kelly says, “http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZjTqfA4xNI”

mattshu on July 12, 2007 at 6:43 PM

sorry. This should work.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZjTqfA4xNI

mattshu on July 12, 2007 at 6:43 PM

At least they didn’t say to give a golden shower to the dead baby

Not yet, but you can be sure that when it finally comes up, they’ll insist that there’s “nothing inherently wrong or hurtful” about it.

Kensington on July 12, 2007 at 6:44 PM

chili dog – that’s a good urban dictionary one (dont look if you don’t wanna know – i warned you!)

lorien1973 on July 12, 2007 at 6:41 PM

is it worse then feltching?

offroadaz on July 12, 2007 at 6:44 PM

Should anyone ever question again the degradation of Planned Parenthood and their ilk? Sorry that I’m soooo naive that I had to look up half of the terminology here!! And I’m a former Marine. Aren’t there more instructive and important topics?

MNDavenotPC on July 12, 2007 at 6:50 PM

AP, I thought you were kidding about the T-Shirt. You were not.

So the Planned Parenthood Federation of America’s distribution of a t-shirt with “I Had an Abortion” printed on the front has stirred up some controversy.

The “I Had an Abortion” t-shirt is intended to challenge the taboo that cloaks abortion in silence. The t-shirt is an affirmation that abortion is not shameful.

shooter on July 12, 2007 at 6:57 PM

To think at one time we taught “The Golden Rule” in Schools.

Now its very different

William Amos on July 12, 2007 at 7:01 PM

The “I Had an Abortion” t-shirt is intended to challenge the taboo that cloaks abortion in silence. The t-shirt is an affirmation that abortion is not shameful.

Then why do I hear Hillary and other lefties, when trying to appeal to the center, say “Abortion should be safe, legal and rare.” ?

If there’s nothing wrong with it, why does it need to be rare?

trubble on July 12, 2007 at 7:12 PM

chili dog – that’s a good urban dictionary one (dont look if you don’t wanna know – i warned you!)

lorien1973 on July 12, 2007 at 6:41 PM

I’m partial to the Dirty Sanchez. (If Shamnesty were still alive I suspect there’d be a joke to be made here, but I see no point in kicking a dead horse.)

Blacklake on July 12, 2007 at 7:12 PM

The teenager only asked Planned Parenthood because he or she is trying to carefully plan a family and thought golden showers might have something to do with changing a baby boy’s diapers. ‘Cause Planned Parenthood is all about planning for parenthood.

TeenWire is and has long been a nightmare worthy of its parent organization.

If anyone’s interested, I’d highly recommend “Unprotected” by Anonymous, M.D., a campus psychiatrist who’s had to deal with the real-life fallout from this kind of PC “health education.”

saint kansas on July 12, 2007 at 7:12 PM

is it worse then feltching?

offroadaz on July 12, 2007 at 6:44 PM

I think so!

Another great one is:

hot buttered rooster (but not rooster, get me?)

lorien1973 on July 12, 2007 at 7:17 PM

is it worse then feltching?

offroadaz on July 12, 2007 at 6:44 PM
I think so!

Another great one is:

hot buttered rooster (but not rooster, get me?)

lorien1973 on July 12, 2007 at 7:17 PM

No, sorry Lorien. My dinner on the floor says it is not even close to being as bad as feltching.

abinitioadinfinitum on July 12, 2007 at 7:25 PM

What about teabaging? How about caking? Doesn’t every teen needs to know all about the biomechanics of DVDA?

Thomas the Wraith on July 12, 2007 at 7:28 PM

Total BS. I did the same thing with my Mom, not Golden Shower though, just to see what her reaction would be… :)

Come on…I was young!

heatherrc77 on July 12, 2007 at 7:30 PM

TeenWire is and has long been a nightmare worthy of its parent organization. — Saint Kansas

Yeah, stories like these have been floating around for for a long time…or would floating be the right choice of words? :>)

JannyMae on July 12, 2007 at 7:43 PM

Planned ParentBarrenhood

Fixed it!

Lurking Vet on July 12, 2007 at 7:54 PM

Hope this information helps!

Take care,

teenwire.com® Editors

uh huh

Alden Pyle on July 12, 2007 at 7:59 PM

The Paris Hilton issue is both more interesting and relevant than this.

If these moronic Christian right fetishes cost Vitter his seat in the Senate, I fear what the Democrats will do.

thuja on July 12, 2007 at 8:11 PM

thuja on July 12, 2007 at 8:11 PM

Moronic Christian right fetishes???????
Don’t hold back….say what you mean…..
Glad to know you approve.

Suz on July 12, 2007 at 8:24 PM

I think Token said it best in South Park when he watched “Backdoor Sluts 9″.

Nethicus on July 12, 2007 at 6:15 PM

Best South Park ever. Dude… I’m out.

BadgerHawk on July 12, 2007 at 8:31 PM

What about teabaging? How about caking? Doesn’t every teen needs to know all about the biomechanics of DVDA?

Thomas the Wraith on July 12, 2007 at 7:28 PM

You seriously don’t want to know…

BadgerHawk on July 12, 2007 at 8:33 PM

This whole unpleasant thread could have been avoided if the teenwire lady had just said a golden shower is what you get when you don’t cover a baby boy with a diaper quickly enough. But apparently Planned Parenthood is not about being a parent, really, is it.

pedestrian on July 12, 2007 at 8:51 PM

This whole unpleasant thread could have been avoided if the teenwire lady had just said a golden shower is what you get when you don’t cover a baby boy with a diaper quickly enough. But apparently Planned Parenthood is not about being a parent, really, is it.

pedestrian on July 12, 2007 at 8:51 PM

unpleasant thread or hilarious thread?

cougfan on July 12, 2007 at 9:00 PM

Great,

Damn Hamilton and Jefferson!

EricPWJohnson on July 12, 2007 at 9:30 PM

Isn’t that how Zeus appeared to Danae?

(I don’t get out much.)

see-dubya on July 12, 2007 at 6:05 PM

That was the original meaning…!

(I try not to get out too much.)

4shoes on July 12, 2007 at 9:47 PM

Sorry to jump in late. I hope everyone reads this, check it out.

I teach in a Tennessee school. We have a serious internet filter, so strick that even Hotair got blocked eventually. Thankfully, I can still get my daily dose at MM.com. Anyway….

My wife works for the Women’s Care Center, a Christian organization that really provides help to women in crisis. Think of it as the anti-planned parenthood. She told me about this crazy site, teenwire.com, where there were basically pornographic flash movies designed for kids to teach them all about stuff they have no business knowing. On a lark, I thought I’d check it from school, because it was sure to be blocked, right???? Nope. Surfed right to it.

I was in shock. One of the videos, which I think is about how babies are born, is “hosted” by a man (animated penis) and a woman (an animated vagina, no joke, full length fur coat with the really large fluffy lapel fur.) During this video, the “man” gets so excited by the “woman’s” description of the act, that his head ejaculates. I’m not kidding here, and my 2nd grade daughter could have pulled that site up in computer lab if she had wanted to. Or worse, she could have been present when some other kid I have no control over did.

So, I did what any concerned parent or teacher would have done. I called up my friend who runs the tech department at school and asked him to check it out and see why it wasn’t blocked. He was shocked by the site to and sent in a request to the state review board saying that the site needed to be blocked because it was grossly vulgar and inappropriate for students to see.

He forwarded me the response from the state. It was a very terse email stating that the site would NOT be blocked because, after all (as if we were stupid or something), the site was classified as EDUCATIONAL!

My friend the tech guy blocked it on our end anyway!

Liberal filth running our educational systems, unfortunately. But some good people in place on down the food chain.

y2church on July 12, 2007 at 10:48 PM

I love the beginning of the response to the question: “There’s nothing inherently wrong or hurtful about this sex practice…”

You’ve got to be sh***ing me!

D2Boston on July 12, 2007 at 11:20 PM

I’ve tried REALLY hard NOT to learn these terms…and have gone 38 years now without most of them breaking into my linguistic repetoire. Unfortunately, I now have friends that know this and try to educate me QUICKLY for fun, before I am able to start humming very loudly, with my fingers in my ears.

But I have to admit, some of you guys are making me so darn curious, that I’m fighting an urge to look these stupid things up. Thanks, Guys! :)

tickleddragon on July 12, 2007 at 11:25 PM

dose this mean i can call PPH and find out what a cleveland steamer is , i thought it might be a type of luggage.

Mojack420 on July 12, 2007 at 11:44 PM

In my home town, we’ve got a Planned Parenthood outlet stationed right next door to a Christian bookstore in the same shopping mall.

Joshua P. Allem on July 12, 2007 at 11:50 PM

OMG

Jaibones on July 12, 2007 at 11:58 PM

After Googling most of the terms used here I can now say I know much more about this subject than I ever wanted to.

Guardian on July 13, 2007 at 12:17 AM

You’ve got to be sh***ing me!

No, no, that’s the Cleveland Steamer, and there’s nothing inherently wrong or hurtful about this sex practice…

Kensington on July 13, 2007 at 1:59 AM

Cleveland Steamer involves someone pooping on someone else in some fashion.

No doubt PPH regards this as “Kink”.

unamused on July 13, 2007 at 2:14 AM

Ok, like, if I get in my shower and the water turns yellow, does that like mean someone is p’ing on me??? OMG!

Like, last night, at the time, I thought I was going to have to call algore and tell him about my polluted water problem in my apartment. That happened just yesterday! Ewww!!!

Bodily fluids? Ewwww!!!

(Sorry…Another Blonde moment)

SouthernPride on July 13, 2007 at 2:20 AM

Queens and Blue Peters in one post, golden showers in another. How did this ever get past my filters at work, I ask you?? (Not that I’m surfing at work, I should add…)

Captain Scarlet on July 13, 2007 at 7:26 AM

“I Had An Abortion” t-shirts……

Seriously, God help us.

Hawkins1701 on July 13, 2007 at 8:06 AM

When Jocelyn Elders promoted the roughing of clams, all hope was lost.

TheSitRep on July 13, 2007 at 9:22 AM

I’ll wade into this pond full of scum for one thought to back up AP’s call of BS, from a different angle. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, who would open a sentence with

iv heard of this

would go on to use the accurate, explicit and formal

please define

The more likely interrogative would have been something like
“so what does it mean?”

Fake but accurate? I think not. But you weren’t expecting moral or ethical behavior from Planned Infanticide, were you?

Freelancer on July 13, 2007 at 9:59 AM

Oh … wait. Golden showers.

I thought you meant “Golden Slumbers” — y’know, that lame piece-of-crap song Paul put on “Abby Road.” I could understand a teenager not knowing about that awful waste of vinyl, and was prepared to be outraged that Planned Parenthood would corrupt a kid’s musical taste by explaining that song to them.

But so long as it’s just kinky sex … whatever.

Ali-Bubba on July 13, 2007 at 11:45 AM

I had to write something on this thread just so the comment count would not disappear into the vault numbering “69″.

Thank me!

RushBaby on July 13, 2007 at 4:18 PM

Thank you, RushBaby.

Kralizec on October 18, 2007 at 12:38 AM