Bad news: Iran smashes Zionist squirrel spy ring

posted at 10:12 am on July 9, 2007 by Allahpundit

I guess the reports of the regime’s growing paranoia weren’t exaggerating.

Godspeed, Nibbles, godspeed:

According to IRNA, the official Islamic Republic news agency, the national Police chief has implicitly verified the news about the confiscation of a number of squirrels, equipped with eavesdropping devices, on the Iranian borders. He has declined to give any more details, but, reportedly, when asked about the confiscation of 14 spy squirrels, he stated, “I have heard about it, but I do not have precise information”. IRNA adds, “These squirrels were equipped by foreign intelligence services, but were captured two weeks ago by the Police”.

You’ll be surprised to learn this morning that the stooge appointed by the UN to prevent an attack on Iran at all costs has surfaced to say that enrichment work at Natanz is slowing — even while satellite photos show construction work in the area is picking up. What can it all mean?

The sudden flurry of digging seen in recent satellite photos of a mountainside in central Iran might have passed for ordinary road tunneling. But the site is the back yard of Iran’s most ambitious and controversial nuclear facility, leading U.S. officials and independent experts to reach another conclusion: It appears to be the start of a major tunnel complex inside the mountain…

As a result, photos of the site are being studied by governments, intelligence agencies and nuclear experts, all asking the same question: Is Iran attempting to thwart future military strikes against its nuclear facility by placing key parts of it in underground bunkers?…

The intended use of the Natanz tunnel cannot be ascertained from the photos. But “such a tunnel inside a mountain would offer excellent protection from an aerial attack,” said the report by ISIS, which produces technical assessments of nuclear programs. “This new facility would be ideal for safely storing” natural and enriched uranium and the specialized equipment needed to make it, ISIS said.

A less likely possibility, according to the ISIS report, is that Iran might seek to use the tunnels to house centrifuges used in uranium enrichment.

According to a U.S. source who spoke with Yedioth Aharanoth, the missing Iranian general who allegedly defected to the west and probably doesn’t know much about the nuclear program has told western intel that they’re building a third, secret nuclear plant at Natanz to accompany the enrichment facility there. Which makes an already too-convenient story a tiny bit more too convenient.

Deep Digger, where are you when we need you?

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Squirrels?

Bob's Kid on July 9, 2007 at 10:15 AM

Could it be that Leonardo” I’m the King of the Squirrrels” DeCaprio is actually a double-agent/mole?
We have been at war with Iran for so long now it’s time to just admit it and take them out.

bbz123 on July 9, 2007 at 10:19 AM

Were their identities confirmed as Zionist Squirrels or American Imperialist Squirrels?

BEWARE THE SQUIRRELS!

MoxArgon on July 9, 2007 at 10:20 AM

This story is nuts.

/rimshot

Citizen Duck on July 9, 2007 at 10:20 AM

I have a hunch that Bullwinkle will be captured next.

swami on July 9, 2007 at 10:20 AM

Conker?

Bad Candy on July 9, 2007 at 10:22 AM

I’m amazed you didn’t go for a Conker pic on the front page Allah!

Bad Candy on July 9, 2007 at 10:22 AM

I thought they were moles?

CBarker on July 9, 2007 at 10:24 AM

Tecnically..that’s a pic of a prairie dog…..
Much more radical….

CBarker on July 9, 2007 at 10:26 AM

Technology is truly amazing. Shoe phones for squirrels. Move over George Jetson.

Limerick on July 9, 2007 at 10:26 AM

Ohhhh… NOOOOO…

I knew we shouldn’t have drafted Secret Squirrel!!!

I hope Morroco Mole is still in the area to rescue him!

Romeo13 on July 9, 2007 at 10:28 AM

Secret Squirrel is on the job!

Alden Pyle on July 9, 2007 at 10:29 AM

How many years did you wait to use that pic, AllahP?

Mazztek on July 9, 2007 at 10:31 AM

Wait until they get a load of Rocky the flying Zionist spy plane squirrel!

conservnut on July 9, 2007 at 10:32 AM

Bullwinkle- Hey Rocky, watch me pull a jihadist out of my hat.

Rocky- Again!

Heh, I am having too much fun.

conservnut on July 9, 2007 at 10:38 AM

So did they kill the squirrels or were they taken hostage? Have negotiations begun? Will the squirrels get pink goody bags when and if they are released? I really hope our government has talks in progress behind the scenes. Leave no squirrel behind!

Keli on July 9, 2007 at 10:40 AM

As long as Morrocco Mole is still on the job.

So long Secret Squirrel, you will be missed. Thank you for your service to our country.

ej_pez on July 9, 2007 at 10:41 AM

Time to send in Sandy Cheeks!

csdeven on July 9, 2007 at 10:41 AM

They captured those squirrels while conducting surveillance of U.S. super-agent Maxwell Smart.

jaime on July 9, 2007 at 10:44 AM

Ha! Secret Squirrel! I’ve seen that thing on before, that was way before my time, but I’ve seen old reruns on TV.

That might even be better than Conker.

Though Conker is a foulmouthed lil’ bastard.

Bad Candy on July 9, 2007 at 10:46 AM

Are the captured squirrels being forced to help in digging the tunnels???

db on July 9, 2007 at 10:46 AM

If Farfour were still alive, he’d take care of those Zionist Nutzis.

andycanuck on July 9, 2007 at 10:47 AM

O/T

ABC reports that the Army will miss it’s recruitment goals again last month. Perhaps because the view that this is a failed mission has become the mantra from the MSM and potential recruits don’t want to get involved in what appears to them to be a lost cause?

csdeven on July 9, 2007 at 10:48 AM

O/T
ABC reports that the Army will miss it’s recruitment goals again last month. Perhaps because the view that this is a failed mission has become the mantra from the MSM and potential recruits don’t want to get involved in what appears to them to be a lost cause?
csdeven on July 9, 2007 at 10:48 AM

on a brighter note, the squirrel recruitment goals have surpassed expectations

Keli on July 9, 2007 at 10:51 AM

O/T

ABC reports that the Army will miss it’s recruitment goals again last month. Perhaps because the view that this is a failed mission has become the mantra from the MSM and potential recruits don’t want to get involved in what appears to them to be a lost cause?

csdeven on July 9, 2007 at 10:48 AM

This isn’t off topic. All the Army needs to do is recruit some Zionist squirrels then everything would be cool. Is this the same report the Media gives all the time, despite all evidence to the contrary at the end of the year?

If Farfour were still alive, he’d take care of those Zionist Nutzis.

andycanuck on July 9, 2007 at 10:47 AM

See? We do need a “Bring Farfour back to life petition.” Now that the squirrels have been discovered, the Israelis are going to deploy the Zionist Lizard spy ring.

mjk on July 9, 2007 at 10:52 AM

Breaking: spy squirrel caught red-handed

dave_lantos on July 9, 2007 at 10:53 AM

This story is nuts.

/rimshot

Citizen Duck on July 9, 2007 at 10:20 AM

That was acorny joke.

James on July 9, 2007 at 10:53 AM

… they’re building a third, secret nuclear plant at Natanz to accompany the enrichment facility there.

Nice of the Iranians to cluster their plants all together like that. Sure would be a shame if this Natanz fella had an accident of some sort. Might be a real setback for their nuclear power program.

Blacksheep on July 9, 2007 at 10:56 AM

Capture by the enemy is of no use. With the Reds, it is dangerous. The history of their cunning and valor has long been studied, spawning monikers such as the Red Chiefs and situational theories such as the Captor’s Dilemma.

Actually, I am surprised they were discovered. I suspect it is a strategy on the part of the furry little guys to distract from the work of the ferrets. The Mullacracy is doomed.

Dusty on July 9, 2007 at 10:56 AM

Are the Iranians familiar with gophers? I think Carl’s nightmare may be on the prowl on Tehran golfcourses.

clghitis on July 9, 2007 at 10:57 AM

Did they capture Bullwinkle too?

birkel on July 9, 2007 at 10:57 AM

Monday laughs……thanks guys and gals! :)

Limerick on July 9, 2007 at 10:58 AM

My backyard is overrun with Zionist squirrels, but I have to believe they’d make crappy spies since (1) they’re really friggin’ noisy; (2) they consciously avoid human activity; (3) they’re usually in brush, hollow trees, or leafy areas, etc.

I could almost buy spy birds, since they can be trained to return for treats now and then.

saint kansas on July 9, 2007 at 11:00 AM

HQ -”Bushy 1, this is nut farm, do you copy?”

Bushy 1 – “skree”

HQ – “Have they secured the heavy water platform”

Bushy 1 – “skree”

Hening on July 9, 2007 at 11:02 AM

When is PETA going to jump in to the fray and secure the squirrels geneva convention rights.

swami on July 9, 2007 at 11:12 AM

Alright I can’t get thesquirrels to stay off of a bird feeder at the house and somebody, somehow has trained them to do spy work. OOOOOOkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy. I hope they have rabies or then they would be classified as a WND.

LakeRuins on July 9, 2007 at 11:16 AM

WND: weapons of non-stop drooling? If they have rabies, I guess that would be the case.

dave_lantos on July 9, 2007 at 11:20 AM

Breaking: spy squirrel caught red-handed

dave_lantos on July 9, 2007 at 10:53 AM

I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of that clip.

forest on July 9, 2007 at 11:23 AM

I’ve watched it like 15 times now.

dave_lantos on July 9, 2007 at 11:27 AM

Godspeed, Nibbles, godspeed:

Hahaha!

PRCalDude on July 9, 2007 at 11:29 AM

Godspeed, Nibbles, godspeed:

This is why I read this site.

PRCalDude on July 9, 2007 at 11:30 AM

Channel the good spirit of Lemmiwinks, Nibbles….

Be brave!

JetBoy on July 9, 2007 at 11:34 AM

I guess there is no need for a border fence, those critters can scale anything. If my pet Peanut were still here (squished by a car), he would enlist! He loved his country!

On-my-soap-box on July 9, 2007 at 11:35 AM

After a careful investigation from the MSM it has been determined that this entire situation is a little Squirrly.

Guest1.1 on July 9, 2007 at 11:36 AM

oops that should be squirrely

Guest1.1 on July 9, 2007 at 11:37 AM

squirrelly

Guest1.1 on July 9, 2007 at 11:38 AM

dave_lantos on July 9, 2007 at 10:53 AM

That was funny, but I thought this one was funnier.

csdeven on July 9, 2007 at 11:46 AM

Verre es Moouss an Squirrrel?

Speakup on July 9, 2007 at 11:50 AM

According to Israeli intelligence sources the squirrels are but a diversion.

Killer Pit Bulls disguised in miniature burkas have entered Iran completely undetected. with several having already received marriage proposals from officials high in the Iranian government.

fogw on July 9, 2007 at 11:54 AM

I see ‘Bagdad Bob’ is doing good at his new job at the IRNA. I hear Pelosi is seeing the same squirrels in Washington!

countywolf on July 9, 2007 at 11:57 AM

I can imagine the Iranian soldiers running around trapping squirrels. I want video of that. It somehow seems a proper use of their time.

Wineaholic on July 9, 2007 at 12:00 PM

dave_lantos on July 9, 2007 at 10:53 AM

Great! I’m showing that one to everybody who passes by me…makes for a better Monday that’s for sure…thanks!

JetBoy on July 9, 2007 at 12:01 PM

They’re not really squirrels. They’re moles disguised as squirrels.

MrFreeman07 on July 9, 2007 at 12:09 PM

This one is better i think

madne0 on July 9, 2007 at 12:16 PM

Tsk tsk. Putting all those nuclear plants so close together…

It would just be a crying shame if an EMP bomb just -happened- to knock out the gadgets that controlled all of them.

Dark-Star on July 9, 2007 at 12:17 PM

MrFreeman07, you’re not another one of these wild-eyed “the squirrels are actually moles!!” truthers, are you? I tell ya, where do these paranoid conspiracy theories come from? Moles disguised as squirrels… sheesh…

dave_lantos on July 9, 2007 at 12:17 PM

o well i guess our Special Forces Squirrels trained for nothing :(

trailortrash on July 9, 2007 at 12:37 PM

I’m going to go out on a limb–ha!–and admit that squirrels electronically equipped for surveillance don’t seem completely implausible to me.

Kralizec on July 9, 2007 at 12:58 PM

o well i guess our Special Forces Squirrels trained for nothing :(

trailortrash on July 9, 2007 at 12:37 PM

There’s rumors in the squirrel underground that they’re going to be used in an attempt to rescue the captured squirrels. shhhhhh

Keli on July 9, 2007 at 1:04 PM

I’m going to go out on a limb–ha!–and admit that squirrels electronically equipped for surveillance don’t seem completely implausible to me.

Especially not after seeing Twiggy, the waterskiing squirrel…nossir, it’s not at all implausible.

James on July 9, 2007 at 1:06 PM

“These squirrels were equipped by foreign intelligence services”

Boris and Natasha are up to their old tricks again.

infidel4life on July 9, 2007 at 1:23 PM

You know what you get if you water-board a captured squirrel? A wet rodent and PETA lawyers all over you like stink on….

On-my-soap-box on July 9, 2007 at 1:24 PM

But do they run around and say “!@#$%^*@$ing weeeeeeeeeee!”?

- The Cat

MirCat on July 9, 2007 at 1:26 PM

We have spy moths, and spy pigeons, but spy squirrels? That’s just silly.

Tanya on July 9, 2007 at 2:28 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-S_F9U9gNEQ

All you need to know.

TBinSTL on July 9, 2007 at 2:39 PM

Conker! Our new Patton

unseen on July 9, 2007 at 3:41 PM

Secret Squirrel and Morocco Mole have teamed up to defeat the lunatic Iranian president before he can launch his secret super-weapons from his underground lair.

SilverStar830 on July 9, 2007 at 5:01 PM

The missing caption to that picture reads:

“I Can Has Bazooka?”

Ryan Gandy on July 9, 2007 at 5:35 PM

I suppose that Rocky is chief of the IDF Air Force.

The False Dervish on July 9, 2007 at 8:18 PM

His left cheek pouch was found to contain precise maps and diagrams of the well where the Hidden Madhi is secreted.

(The right pouch simply had a conglomeration of imams, ayatollahs and other mixed nuts.)

(That’s no DRAMATIC squirrel, that’s a prairie dog!)

profitsbeard on July 9, 2007 at 8:46 PM