Handwriting expert: Paris shows “diminished capacity of comprehension”

posted at 6:58 pm on June 30, 2007 by Allahpundit

Which is a polite way, I guess, of saying she’s retarded. Hence America’s fascination with her: she’s the vulgar stereotype of the hot, dumb blonde come magically to life.

She’s in Hawaii this week, getting a tan and wondering where the sun goes at nighttime. Long may she run and continue to inspire solid comedy bits like this.

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Next.. a study to determine she is a loose woman.

TheSitRep on June 30, 2007 at 7:02 PM

Maybe now she will go away and we won’t have to see her face again or listen to her inane comments.

katieanne on June 30, 2007 at 7:02 PM

Does it supprise anyone?

xplodeit on June 30, 2007 at 7:02 PM

The only people who are retarded are those who believe personality can be analyzed through handwriting. You do know that the fwench are really into that pseudoscience, don’t you? That alone should be cause to disregard this nonsense.

p.s.: Admit it — you’re pissed off that Paris got a free iPhone. lol

Blake on June 30, 2007 at 7:06 PM

I have a phobia that someone will analyze my postings, etc. and find that I did not pay attention in English / Writing class. Oh well. They would be correct of course.

TheSitRep on June 30, 2007 at 7:06 PM

Can we just take a vote here at Hot Air on whether or not to cease with stories about Hilton?

I’ll let this one slide since that clip was pretty funny. But be warned! I will amass an e-mail-writing campaign to end the madness!

Seixon on June 30, 2007 at 7:07 PM

WHAT IS YOUR MALFUNCTION?

amend2 on June 30, 2007 at 7:08 PM

In Hawaii … thinking about ways she can help all those people she thought about while in the slammer.

Paris: “I’m drawing a blank, here. I need some more lotion!”

Dusty on June 30, 2007 at 7:09 PM

I need to take a breather or just log of this… you people piss me off. AND yes I’m a conservative but your being malicious and cruel… let it go. Go find someone else to pick on. She’s someones girl and she might even be the Lord’s girl for all you know.

I’m done with this.

matthew

amend2 on June 30, 2007 at 7:12 PM

The whole Paris thing is an organized effort of the vast right wing conspiracy to cover up the fact that Bush and Giuliani where in on the 911 deal.

Hey, in the history of mankind fire has never melted steel..

But don’t go ask a blacksmith..

TheSitRep on June 30, 2007 at 7:15 PM

I am constantly amazed how the dumbest people on earth get the most riches/celebrity/rewards and I bust my hump and I end up making slightly more per hour than I did 10 years ago.

Neo on June 30, 2007 at 7:23 PM

So does this mean she won’t be finishing up her thesis for a PhD in quantum mechanics anytime soon?

thirteen28 on June 30, 2007 at 7:29 PM

Actually, I am surprised she can walk across the street without getting hit.

katieanne on June 30, 2007 at 7:37 PM

I need to take a breather or just log of this… you people piss me off. AND yes I’m a conservative but your being malicious and cruel… let it go. Go find someone else to pick on. She’s someones girl and she might even be the Lord’s girl for all you know. I’m done with this. matthew

Are you for real with this?

PBoilermaker on June 30, 2007 at 7:37 PM

amend2 on June 30, 2007 at 7:12 PM

Uh-oh. Someone has a crush on Paris…

infidel4life on June 30, 2007 at 7:43 PM

I am constantly amazed how the dumbest people on earth get the most riches/celebrity/rewards and I bust my hump and I end up making slightly more per hour than I did 10 years ago.

Don’t worry about it, my friend. It’s a Christian thing. You’ll be sliding into heaven all nice and comfy while Hilton and her gang of boors will be screeching about camels and needles. You’re gold, man.

jaleach on June 30, 2007 at 7:50 PM

I am constantly amazed how the dumbest people on earth get the most riches/celebrity/rewards and I bust my hump and I end up making slightly more per hour than I did 10 years ago.

Don’t worry about it, my friend. It’s a Christian thing. You’ll be sliding into heaven all nice and comfy while Hilton and her gang of boors will be screeching about camels and needles. You’re gold, man.

jaleach on June 30, 2007 at 7:50 PM

But AP is an atheist. Maybe in Paris’ Last Will she’ll bequeath him her iPhone. Because of her stupidity!

Stephen M on June 30, 2007 at 7:54 PM

AP didn’t write that. He’s on his own, both with the iPhone and getting into heaven.

jaleach on June 30, 2007 at 8:00 PM

You needed a handwriting expert to tell you that? I could’ve told you that.

vcferlita on June 30, 2007 at 8:01 PM

Having grown up in Hawaii, I can only hope that Paris makes her way to the west side of Oahu, somewhere like Waianae and tries to pull this poor dumb rich blonde girl stuff. If prison didn’t wake her up, the locals out there will make her beg to be sent back.

wecoyote6969 on June 30, 2007 at 8:03 PM

You needed a handwriting expert to tell you that? I could’ve told you that.

vcferlita on June 30, 2007 at 8:01 PM

Epic!

Max Power on June 30, 2007 at 8:07 PM

i think jay leno’s interview with paris was slightly funnier than letterman’s although it is slightly obscene during one section

cougfan on June 30, 2007 at 8:09 PM

She’s in Hawaii this week, getting a tan and wondering where the sun goes at nighttime.

LMAO! Thanks. Now I need a new keyboard…

JWS on June 30, 2007 at 8:14 PM

Pop Tart

Kini on June 30, 2007 at 8:19 PM

she’s the vulgar stereotype of the hot, dumb blonde come magically to life.

How could it get any better than that?
Well, actually a lot better, brainy women are more of a turn on than many women think, oh sorry Paris, sort of, you do know right from wrong don’t you?

Speakup on June 30, 2007 at 8:20 PM

Duh

pat on June 30, 2007 at 8:23 PM

Take it easy on the iphone teasing geez, AP is probably the hardest working blog artist around, give the poor man a break already.

We should all chip in and get the guy a date though, wheres the love?

Speakup on June 30, 2007 at 8:25 PM

The tart probably doesn’t know left from right.

warpmine on June 30, 2007 at 8:30 PM

I have a phobia that someone will analyze my postings, etc. and find that I did not pay attention in English / Writing class.

Me two!

taznar on June 30, 2007 at 8:34 PM

wecoyote6969 on June 30, 2007 at 8:03 PM

Ouch. Waianea, Nanakuli, Makaha, you’d get the same reception from the locals on any of those sands if you brought an attitude.

Freelancer on June 30, 2007 at 8:39 PM

I’d still hit it. Wouldn’t you?

Wait. Maybe not.

http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2006/03/09/paris_hilton_probably_has_herp.html

“I wanted him to be aware of it–that she had herpes. To make sure he didn’t catch anything. He informed me that he was [aware],” Quintana said.

lorien1973 on June 30, 2007 at 8:41 PM

Freelancer on June 30, 2007 at 8:39 PM

No worries bra… Get pink license plate
heh

wecoyote6969 on June 30, 2007 at 8:44 PM

I bet she doesn’t know where Paris is.

benrand on June 30, 2007 at 8:51 PM

Me two!

taznar on June 30, 2007 at 8:34 PM

Heh.

BadgerHawk on June 30, 2007 at 8:58 PM

The perfect image of a white girl made in the lab by black girls as an April fools joke.

CommentGuy on June 30, 2007 at 9:09 PM

p.s.: Admit it — you’re pissed off that Paris got a free iPhone. lol

Blake on June 30, 2007 at 7:06 PM

Yep, just another reason to hate that spoiled little rich-bitch tart! Into the mud scum-queen!

Liberty or Death on June 30, 2007 at 9:14 PM

p.s.: Admit it — you’re pissed off that Paris got a free iPhone. lol

Blake on June 30, 2007 at 7:06 PM

Yep, just another reason to hate that spoiled rich skank biatch…into the mud scum queen!

Liberty or Death on June 30, 2007 at 9:18 PM

ooops, double post, thought my previous one didn’t go through…sorry!

Liberty or Death on June 30, 2007 at 9:19 PM

diminished capacity of comprehension
I am shocked and appalled at this news.

Larry King you forgot to ask her if she learned how to cook with hot water and a plastic bag.

Mojack420 on June 30, 2007 at 9:40 PM

At this point one must begin to wonder if there’s such a thing as a 26 years-of-age, non-virginal, blonde millionaire that AP does not despise.

Stephen M on June 30, 2007 at 9:41 PM

Oh Geez, now the rich chick is handicapped? Does she need special parking too ? Where does the disabilities act kick in?

StuLongIsland on June 30, 2007 at 9:45 PM

Who said this:
“Mom, Mom, Mom…. It’s not right.”

a) Paris Hilton to her Mom – when being re-jailed for a misdemeanor.

b) AP to MM – when MM told him to buy his own darned iPhone.

Stephen M on June 30, 2007 at 10:01 PM

Paris who?

PowWow on June 30, 2007 at 10:16 PM

“Rarely do we see an independent adult write with such diminished capacity of comprehension,”

Apparently they haven’t read the McCain Kennedy Comprehensive Immigration Reform Bill.

Buzzy on June 30, 2007 at 10:18 PM

I don’t get it. Her writing looks almost exactly like mine, and I’ve managed two masters (almost) and a doctoral degree.

E. M. on June 30, 2007 at 10:22 PM

Time for pushback. I don’t get this whole Paris Hilton thing.

Can I request a feature to filter topics I don’t want to see?

desertdweller on June 30, 2007 at 10:28 PM

I thought a quarter of Great Britain almost going up in a huge fireball woulda taken her off the front page, but guess I’m wrong ;)

gmoonster on June 30, 2007 at 10:38 PM

I’d still hit it. Wouldn’t you?

Wait. Maybe not.

http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2006/03/09/paris_hilton_probably_has_herp.html

“I wanted him to be aware of it–that she had herpes. To make sure he didn’t catch anything. He informed me that he was [aware],” Quintana said.
lorien1973 on June 30, 2007 at 8:41 PM

Why not, half the men on earth have. There’s video to prove it. Lord love a duck. This is definitely exasperation speaking (on my part).

Glynn on June 30, 2007 at 11:05 PM

I thought a quarter of Great Britain almost going up in a huge fireball woulda taken her off the front page, but guess I’m wrong ;)

gmoonster on June 30, 2007 at 10:38 PM

One would think.

Glynn on June 30, 2007 at 11:07 PM

I need to take a breather or just log of this… you people piss me off. AND yes I’m a conservative but your being malicious and cruel… let it go. Go find someone else to pick on. She’s someones girl and she might even be the Lord’s girl for all you know.

I’m done with this.

matthew

amend2 on June 30, 2007 at 7:12 PM

I agree. It’s time to discuss real issues, as I come to hotair for some thoughtful (yet humorous) analysis of what’s happening in “the red zone,” not Entertainment tonight.

Darnell Clayton on July 1, 2007 at 12:11 AM

I refuse to read these comments, duh, but has anyone else yet noted that this skank is not good looking. I went to my sister-in-law’s surprise 50th birthday party tonight, and there were five better looking women, just off the top of my head…

Jaibones on July 1, 2007 at 12:12 AM

Her handwriting is way better than mine. What does that say about me? Besides, her “art” is way more telling.

Says Romberger: [Paris] linework demands a new genre. Poignant and unintentionally surreal, heavily-laden with encoded symbology. He calls her work, “post-modernist-ish insider/outsider Art.”

In other words, Crap.

Guardian on July 1, 2007 at 12:48 AM

Paris would be a great press secretary for Harry Reid.

George on July 1, 2007 at 1:00 AM

And in other news, Paris is a slut who (thanks to her esteemed parents and upbringing) seems to have no moral compass. Who knew?

thedecider on July 1, 2007 at 1:31 AM

Subsisting on nothing but booze and drugs will take a toll.

KC-135A on July 1, 2007 at 9:03 AM

I was roflmao-ing before I saw the video. It was the “diminished capacity of comprehension” sound bite that got me. I think I may need a padded room and a barf bucket.

Christine on July 1, 2007 at 12:05 PM

Handwriting expert: Paris shows “diminished capacity of comprehension”

How on earth could you tell?

Dr. Charles G. Waugh on July 1, 2007 at 12:20 PM

How about the hair expert? Is Paris a natural blonde or a bleached brunette?
Is it fair that the blondes get all the scorn that should be towards the dumb brunettes?

naliaka on July 1, 2007 at 5:45 PM

Fair question. And note that she apparently has no gag reflex. Is this natural, or just lots of training?

Jaibones on July 1, 2007 at 8:11 PM