Mankind achieves destiny — handless, mind-controlled channel changer
posted at 7:06 pm on June 22, 2007 by Allahpundit
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It speaks volumes that upon hearing of the Japanese breakthrough in thought-controlled technology, this is the first use the western press devised for it. Throw away your remote controls! — and, er, replace them with a two-pound EEG helmet.
Or just take out my brain and put it in a jar. It’d be so much simpler.
Scientists are refining technology which could allow viewers to change channels or switch the set on and off without lifting a finger.
Staff at the Japanese technology giant Hitachi have already succeeded in harnessing the power of thought to make a model train move and believe it is only a matter of time before the same technology can be applied to the TV remote.
The technique, known as optical topography, reads thoughts by measuring changes in blood flow to key areas of the brain.
The computer decodes the signal, working out the person’s intention. It then triggers the remote control – changing the channel or volume or switching it on or off, as desired. This week, Hitachi demonstrated the “brain-machine interface” in action, when a reporter made a model train move through the power of thought.
Exit question: Thanks to the clumsy, cumbersome brainwave skullcap, isn’t this really the Microsoft Surface of handless technology?
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Well, it would be harder to lose than the remote.
ReubenJCogburn on June 22, 2007 at 7:12 PM
But, if there is ever feedback, you end up singing the Theme to Gilligan’s Island forever in a puddle of Gatorade-smelling pee.
profitsbeard on June 22, 2007 at 7:19 PM
It’ll only work for people who watch FOX News considering all the other networks make the mind numb.
Joshua P. Allem on June 22, 2007 at 7:20 PM
It would be great to see what would happen if/when the person wearing the helmet fell asleep with it on….
heatherrc77 on June 22, 2007 at 7:22 PM
That teaser pic is a friggin’ hoot.
The Ugly American on June 22, 2007 at 7:22 PM
They can make a mind reading cap, but they can’t do a wireless connection to the remote? Why not just build a universal remote into the cap? The ultimate application of this technology will be thought based gameplay on the PS4.
rw on June 22, 2007 at 7:31 PM
YES! LET THE ATROPHY BEGIN!!!
fusionaddict on June 22, 2007 at 7:42 PM
Now we need to interface this with the humping robots.
RW Wacko on June 22, 2007 at 7:44 PM
I wanna get 2 of them and have a battle of wills with my wife.
lorien1973 on June 22, 2007 at 7:44 PM
In the year 2525 comes even more closer to reality:
In the year 2525
If man is still alive.
If woman can survive, they may find.
In the year 3535
Ain’t gonna need to tell the truth, tell no lies.
Everything you think, do and say, is in the pill you took today.
In the year 4545
Ain’t gonna need your teeth, won’t need your eyes.
You won’t find a thing to chew.
Nobody’s gonna look at you.
In the year 5555
Your arms hanging limp at your sides.
Your legs got nothing to do.
Some machine doing that for you.
In the year 6565
Ain’t gonna need no husband, won’t need no wife.
You’ll pick your son, pick your daughter too.
From the bottom of a long glass tube. Whoa-oh
http://www.metrolyrics.com/in-the-year-2525-lyrics-zager-and-evans.html
lorien1973 on June 22, 2007 at 7:47 PM
That’s all well n’ good, but will it get me a cold one, and a bag o’potato chips?
franksalterego on June 22, 2007 at 7:50 PM
that’s what yesterday’s robots are for.
lorien1973 on June 22, 2007 at 7:51 PM
Did you turn on Surface just because of one video?
Theworldisnotenough on June 22, 2007 at 8:22 PM
Jedi powers, you shall have, mmm.
CP on June 22, 2007 at 8:23 PM
Sad to know that when I think How stupid can people be?, my television will automatically switch to Olberman.
SailorDave on June 22, 2007 at 8:23 PM
Well, this is a great improvement to the forty-two 3″ probes I currently have implanted in my brain to adjust the horizontal hold on my TV!
stonemeister on June 22, 2007 at 8:48 PM
And you want an iPhone.
Kini on June 22, 2007 at 9:05 PM
Laugh now, but wait until defecation osmosis machine is invented. You’ll never have to leave your couch.
robblefarian on June 22, 2007 at 9:21 PM
robblefarian-
The lo-yech version is already here… called “Depends”.
(See: “killer lady astronaut on cross-country trip“.)
Q- Would a schizophrenic need a split screen?
profitsbeard on June 22, 2007 at 9:30 PM
Barkolounger toilet, the next great invention!
Kini on June 22, 2007 at 9:31 PM
I meant “lo-tech” (not “lo-yech“) but Freud knows best.
profitsbeard on June 22, 2007 at 9:34 PM
Isn’t that what the wife or girlfriend is for….?
Liberty or Death on June 22, 2007 at 10:10 PM
Sheesh. Why keep the TV so far away. Why not just implant microchips directly into the brain to be activated by a transmitter from a satellite. This would eliminate the remote completely. The helmet could be lightened if made from a much thinner foil type of material. You know like tin foil hats… Oh never mind.
sonnyspats1 on June 22, 2007 at 10:14 PM
Thank god for science! My fingers were EXHAUSTED from having to pick up the remote and actually PUSH BUTTONS to change a channel like some animal.
Now I’d like them there scientists to find a way to pipe the History Channel directly into my cerebral cortex so that I don’t have to do all that labor of raising my eyelids to watch TV.
Tantor on June 22, 2007 at 11:41 PM
(1) Viewer thinks about changing channel from BBC1 to ITV1.
(2) Sensors in cap detect desire to change channel.
(3) Cap delivers painful electric shock to viewer.
Kralizec on June 23, 2007 at 12:10 AM
Not sure this will enhance the state of marital bliss. Now when the wife asks her husband “Do I look fat in this?” and he, while answering “No honey you don’t look fat at all” the television is switching to a Roseanne Barr episode.
Bradky on June 23, 2007 at 9:08 AM
I can die tonight knowing that human kind has reached the pinnacle of devolvement.
Gwillie on June 23, 2007 at 9:09 PM
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