3fd5caf99db98df68ce3…

If we are really lucky Berkley will continue to lean further and further to left until it finally falls into the ocean off the left coast.

So you like crapping on the sidewalk, huh? But you’re concerned about this new fascist liberal attempt to criminalize your outdoor public potty habits?

There’s one guaranteed way around the law. It’ll work every time. Ready for it?

All you have to do … is make sure you’re aiming for an American flag. Keep it in your cart, take out when its time do your business.

Rest assured that nobody in Berkeley will bother you. I promise.

You’re welcome, homeless hippies!**

** Please note: while the management is happy to provide 100% guarantee that if you follow our patented crapping on the flag strategy, you won’t be arrested, fined, or harassed by law enforcement in Berkeley. HOWEVER, the management is not responsible for the consequences should any sailor, soldier, airman, or By God United States Marine happens to observe you taking advantage of our helpful hints. Consider yourself warned. Have a nice freaking day.

Why don’t they let Ace and Goldstein hunt them for fur, food, and fun.

Why don’t they send them to Mexico to do the jobs Mexicans don’t want to do?

Why don’t they let Ace and Goldstein hunt them for fur, food, and fun.

Seems more humane to me.

natesnake on June 14, 2007 at 4:36 PM

HAHAHAHA!!!! Yeah…

I loved when he got to go to DC to see the signing of the Pork reform bill, and he asked us morons to go light with the hobo killing jokes.

The initiative cracks down on a wide range of behavior that some say make Berkeley’s streets inhospitable to residents and visitors alike.

I thought it was the radical liberalism that made the city inhospitable. And how dare they use such an humiliating term as “homeless”. These people are simply residence-challenged.

(See zombietime.com’s Berkeley pics – site doesn’t seem to be responding right now).

…Berkely attracts..the most liberal and caring professors in the world…can’t they find a solution to their homelessness problem?…

right2bright on June 14, 2007 at 4:37 PM

Er, well, for starters, could you please point-out which ones are Cal’s professors and which ones are the insane, homeless bums. They pretty much all look alike to me.

My collie says:

Why not just give all the insane, homeless bums at Berkeley amnesty? I’m sure that Harry Reid would be delighted to fold over a provision like that into the zombie immigration legislation.

That’s because there Hobophobic.

ronsfi on June 14, 2007 at 4:28 PM

In wino veritas.

To defend freedom of speech! Sheesh, pedestrian. Do I have to explain EVERYTHING to you? Taking a crap on the sidewalk in front of a place of business sends a vital message to The Man about capitalism and its degrading effects on the human soul. You might say that a Berkeley hypocrite is an ex-hippie who stepped in somebody’s free speech.

Esthier: “The truth is, many people who are homeless choose to be homeless, and much of this is because of mental illness.”

Only a small fraction of the homeless are mentally ill. Most of the street people, ie bums, are alcoholics, while a very large percentage are drug addicts. That’s why they’re on the street while so many homeless shelters have empty beds. The shelters don’t let them drink and do drugs, which is the raison d’etre for bums. They are so dedicated to their addictions that the police have to arrest them during cold snaps lest they freeze to death in their inebriated or narcotized state.

You’ll never see that mentioned on the news though, because that would imply that street bums are responsible for their own predicament, not Bush. Periodically, you’ll see a news story about the latest push to get people off the street, with the reporter standing in front of a mission. They’ll dance around the issue of why the street drunks and addicts don’t voluntarily come into the shelters to get out of the weather.

The truth is that it can be freezing outside and a street drunk will trade his coat and gloves, donated by some well-meaning church, for a bottle of liquor and not give a damn if it kills him.

Berkeley should actually be setting up freewheeling, no-credit Cross-Cultural Studies programs to learn how to understand these puzzling plein air behaviors, not supressing them with their Jackbirkenstocked Thug laws!

Oh, I wouldn’t be at all surprised to find a D-Cal course offered along those lines. My son signed up for one a couple of years ago but couldn’t stomach it and dropped it.

Defecating on the sidewalk, in some cultures, is considered the ultimate compliment.

And urination is sssssssimplytheir way of saying “This spot is truly golden“.

(And, from the artistic point of view, could be considered as a liquid hommage to the Golden Gate Bridge, in the tradition of “P*ss Christ”, etc..)

Berkeley should actually be setting up freewheeling, no-credit Cross-Cultural Studies programs to learn how to understand these puzzling plein air behaviors, not supressing them with their Jackbirkenstocked Thug laws!