New Vent: “How to Take a Life”

posted at 10:59 pm on June 13, 2007 by Bryan

MM: Allahpundit’s post on the New York Times’ article about the jihadi’s guide to etiquette inspired me to rewrite The Fray’s “How to Save A Life.” Bryan did the rock-star solo vocals. I’m on keyboard. Here are the lyrics. Sing along:

“How to Take a Life”
The Jihadi’s Guide to Etiquette
The Ventilators/HotAir.com
Michelle Malkin and Bryan Preston

Step one they say we need to talk
We balk–they say, “sit down it’s just a talk”
They smile politely as they shill
For those who want our blood to spill
Some sort of claim to divine right
They’ll slay us left and slay us right
Sura Nine Five of the Koran
Slay idolaters wherev’r you can

If you say something wrong, you’ll lose your head
Somewhere along in Osama’s camps
Jihadis train and pray all day and night
‘Til they learn how to take a life

They teach their kids Allah knows best
And soon you’ll swear He does know best
Martyrdom in His defense
Approves of killing innocents
Lay down a fatwa pick up a sword
Shave off your beard before you board
And pray to Allah he hears you
And pray to Allah he hears you

If you say something wrong, you’ll lose your head
Somewhere along in Osama’s camps
Jihadis train and pray all day and night
‘Til they learn how to take a life

Convert or die there’s one more choice
Submit to them, give up your voice
Infidels! What is your path?
Sharia law, a new footbath
Allah with virgins does await
The founding of the caliphate
With rockets and with shoebombs
On orders from their imams.

If you say something wrong, you’ll lose your head
Somewhere along in Osama’s camps
Jihadis train and pray all day and night
‘Til they learn how to take a life

If you say something wrong, you’ll lose your head
Somewhere along in Osama’s camps
Jihadis train and all day and night
‘Til they learn how to take a life
How to take a life

If you say something wrong, you’ll lose your head
Somewhere along in Osama’s camps
Jihadis train and pray all day and night
‘Til they learn how to take a life

If you say something wrong, you’ll lose your head
Somewhere along in Osama’s camps
Jihadis train and pray all day and night
‘Til they learn how to take a life
How to take a life


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Comments

Well done.

Slublog on June 13, 2007 at 11:01 PM

Awesome! When are you gonna p3wn one of Akon’s ‘songs’?

Spirit of 1776 on June 13, 2007 at 11:01 PM

Man, on a second watch, I gotta add to my post above and say this is as good of a Vent as they come. The Ventilators on an extremely serious subject. I’m genuinely impressed with this production.

Spirit of 1776 on June 13, 2007 at 11:08 PM

You know, I think this is about the 4th time I’ve said this is the best Vent y’all have ever done…but this was so moving..so serious..and frankly so far ahead of anything I’ve seen on any other blog or news site…I’m stunned. Just blown away. Bryan..you did a hell of a job with the vocals man. I had to listen twice..once just hearing your voice..and once watching the video. It’s too much to take in on one listen. I think you guys are really going to stir something up with this one…well done just doesn’t say enough. I don’t know what to say…except maybe thank you.

austinnelly on June 13, 2007 at 11:15 PM

Amazing, simply amazing. Are you guys going to release MP3s? Seriously, you both should!

Gerat job on the piano Michelle :) You’re not so bad yourself, Brian!

rightg33k on June 13, 2007 at 11:21 PM

Great job guys.

amerpundit on June 13, 2007 at 11:39 PM

Ahem….., don’t quit yer bloggin job jus yet Bryan.

Jus kidin…. the message is unmistakably truth.

Kini on June 13, 2007 at 11:50 PM

Awesome Vent!

ic1redeye on June 14, 2007 at 12:07 AM

don’t quit yer bloggin job jus yet Bryan.

Heh. No plans to.

Bryan on June 14, 2007 at 12:09 AM

Wow, that was great. Thanks for the great job y’all do. Watching many today, they just don’t see the threat.

tdau1997 on June 14, 2007 at 12:28 AM

It is a great Vent! I think I have Michelle’s keyboard in my room. Hearing her play, I bet she’s got some classics under her belt. I would guess she does two- and three-part Bach inventions in her now non-existant spare time.

laelaps on June 14, 2007 at 12:31 AM

Dawg!You rocked the Vent tonight! By far your best vocals Bryan! Your a braver man than I’ll ever be! Lyrically stinging satire. Love it Love it Love it!

Drtuddle on June 14, 2007 at 12:54 AM

Very sad. The state of ‘civilization’ today, at the very beginning of this century.

The Middle East is about to go in flames, all out. Today was a newsday loaded with news leading in that direction. They seem to wish it, not being able to progress otherwise. Iran will play prominently, and the U.S. too, weary as it currently is.

Entelechy on June 14, 2007 at 12:55 AM

(In a preppy, perky voice)It sounded a bit pitchy to me, but you showed so much joy while performing!
(With British Accent) It sounded like some horrible right-wing karaoke Islamophobic rant, but you’re going to Bollywood!

Seriously, I first thought it was a professional production, until I noticed the Ventillators credit. I was blown away! Brian, you were in fine voice, really professional. And Michelle, your piano playing has really improved! Let me just say: wow!

stonemeister on June 14, 2007 at 1:25 AM

Smart and talented. Well done.

Yakko77 on June 14, 2007 at 1:28 AM

I know that it is considered part of the style to sing a song like a rock and roller in a high register which strains the voice, but I am certain that the song would have been equally effective, and sounded fine, if the song was sung at least one to one and one half steps lower.

Nevertheless, the vent was quite good.

Unfortunately it will fall on deaf ears with only a small number of regular viewers who watch that vent, while the rest of the USA and the world continues to sleep, all while Jihad, military and other, continue to make inroads into establishing a Caliphate.

One sign included among the graphics tells us that the Future of Britain is Islam. I think that future is already here, as much of that future has already manifested throughout much of Europe, Asia, North Africa, and elsewhere, and that future has already begun to manifest here in the USA.

While the children Jihadis are being trained in the arts of military skills and slaughter of infidels, our children are being taught that we are the worst nation in the world and the cause of all the suffering in the world. Our children are taught to be ashamed of their nation and their culture. Our children are taught that the very people who are out to kill and/or dominate them are practitioners of “The Religion of Peace” regardless of the fact that there manifestation clearly shows that they are a cult of hatred and violence.

I trust we will continue to see demonstrations by violent, hate filled, militant Muslims wearing masks and carrying signs that declare their intentions to slaughter their fellow countrymen – Brits, US citizens, French, etc., while the host nation’s citizens will downplay and even ignore the warning signs and bend over backwards to the point of dhimmitude in order to accommodate them.

William

William2006 on June 14, 2007 at 1:35 AM

WOW, the talent at HA just keeps surprising me in all kind of new ways. Brian, you should think about American Idol, you would have definitely gone further than Sanjaya. Honestly that was really good. Michelle, damn good job on the ivory. Thanks to all of you for what you do. Sadly,

EVIL does have a name, ISLAM.

abinitioadinfinitum on June 14, 2007 at 1:57 AM

That was amazing! As I was watching the video, with all of the clips and photos, I kept wondering how many hours must have went into this production. It was really well done. Not to mention the song lyrics, practice, etc. Wow!.

Michelle’s so talented. Bryan too. Too bad you’re not Canadian. Canadian Idol allowed people to bring in instruments during the auditions. There are a lot of Canucks who could have stood to hear this song.

Canadian Infidel on June 14, 2007 at 6:42 AM

Great job you guys.
Very moving way to remind everyone of what is now overtaking our world. So sad to see their youth being molded into future weapons of death. This vent was effective in using music, words and photos to truly move the viewer.

hoosierken on June 14, 2007 at 7:20 AM

Sitting at my keyboard, I am holding a lighter aloft! Kids, that was scary good.

Dean Barnett on June 14, 2007 at 7:55 AM

That was well done.

While the powers that be haggle about amnesty, tax cuts for “the rich,” and how swiftly to cut and run from Iraq the Islamofascists are making their moves across the Middle East to set up their end game of sharia and Islamic states.

Ronin11208 on June 14, 2007 at 8:38 AM

Nice job MM and Bryan.

csdeven on June 14, 2007 at 8:46 AM

Awesome job.

Outakes? Have a clip of the bloppers? No clip of the bloopers? Thought we had a clip of the bloopers. Stewey

Hot Air tour dates?

sunny on June 14, 2007 at 9:31 AM

Very poignant Well Done

mjkazee on June 14, 2007 at 9:41 AM

That was very good. And extremely scarey. I cannot understand why the left doesn’t see it. What are they waiting for,… a full-scale invasion?

4shoes on June 14, 2007 at 9:59 AM

Very nice job MM and Bryan, although scary at how truthful it is.

(bowing down) “We’re not worthy. We’re not worthy”

dalewalt on June 14, 2007 at 10:25 AM

Nicely done!

Pilgrim on June 14, 2007 at 10:52 AM

Very moving.

It’s also extremely sad. This will never end.

moonsbreath on June 14, 2007 at 11:15 AM

Bryan,

Composing lyrics and video?! You are a true artist. Good job on this one. BTW, it looks like you are using Blip for your vid feed now, good choice.

Steve

realVerse on June 14, 2007 at 11:31 AM

I wrote the lyrics. Bryan did vocals. And yes, we are quite happy with blip.tv!

Michelle on June 14, 2007 at 11:35 AM

Best Vent ever. Needs to go viral.

PRCalDude on June 14, 2007 at 11:59 AM

Sitting at my keyboard, I am holding a lighter aloft! Kids, that was scary good.

Dean Barnett on June 14, 2007 at 7:55 AM

Haha!

PRCalDude on June 14, 2007 at 12:00 PM

BRAVO!! WELL DONE!!!

Troy Rasmussen on June 14, 2007 at 12:05 PM

That was amazing! So poignant.

tikvah on June 14, 2007 at 12:14 PM

Outstanding work, Michelle & Bryan. Just outstanding!

KelliD on June 14, 2007 at 12:44 PM

So Michelle wrote the lyrics, very nice.

My error was worth it though because I got a direct response from MM herself. Priceless.

I am using Blip for a couple of my corporate web video projects and love it.

realVerse on June 14, 2007 at 12:57 PM

Nicely done, you guys. So when is the first West Coast stop on the Ventilators Tour? Need a backup vocalist?

Freelancer on June 14, 2007 at 3:05 PM

Good Vent. These are what makes Hotair the best of the internet.

One can only hope inspiration strikes in the form of cheezy hair metal and video from helicopter gunships for the next one.

Krydor on June 14, 2007 at 3:53 PM

Not bad at all!

Stevel on June 14, 2007 at 4:03 PM

Nice. Have you guys discovered Apple’s GarageBand yet? It’s easy to use and perfect for making parody.

Mojave Mark on June 14, 2007 at 4:38 PM

well done.

pullingmyhairout on June 14, 2007 at 5:24 PM

Come on, you guys know that Terrorism is just a Bumper sticker slogan, stop trying to scare me with this Jihadist boogieman propoganda.

John “Breck Girl” Edwards 08

americaslaststand on June 14, 2007 at 5:57 PM

Am I mistaken or was Screech the person who was singing the song while Michelle played the piano?

Other than that, good work.

Tim Burton on June 14, 2007 at 6:02 PM

HELP!!! The vid crashes my browsers, both IE and Firefox!

Please re-up this in a mpg, wmv, avi, etc., or as you have normally done in the past!

kevcad on June 14, 2007 at 6:42 PM

I can’t get it to play here either kevcad…it isn’t crashing my PC, it just won’t play…darn

heatherrc77 on June 14, 2007 at 6:52 PM

Solid Gold from great communicators. Thank you for this video. Well done, very well done.

Sitting at my keyboard, I am holding a lighter aloft! Kids, that was scary good.

Ditto Dean. Just got back in town after a week or so of travel… ready to light up my last 858, clicked the play “button” and here I am, a Ventilator groupie, ready to the next track…

Zorro on June 14, 2007 at 7:22 PM

Am I mistaken or was Screech the person who was singing the song while Michelle played the piano?

You are deeply and tragically mistaken. I oughta ban you for it.

Bryan on June 14, 2007 at 7:48 PM

I don’t think you have a singing career ahead of you but A+ for an amateur.

The format of this blog is becoming more disorganized and hard to make sense of. I suggest the slow scrolling left hand column be reserved for only original content such as “Vent” and “Jihad Watch” and all linked news stories stay in the right column. Maybe the headline feature should just be merged with the “blog” so that a discussion can be had on any or every story even if Allahpundit had nothing spectacular to blog about it. I don’t see any value in dividing the news by if it has video or not, integrate it.

Resolute on June 14, 2007 at 8:00 PM

Bryan,

My wife thinks you have a nice voice.

I just watched/listened to this a second time and the scenes with the kids is doubly disturbing. Its not the time for our nation to grow soft.

Stevel on June 14, 2007 at 8:21 PM

Wow. And I thought that my version of Allah Hates you this I know, for the Koran tells me so was the epitome of parodizing. I stand corrected!

Jewel on June 14, 2007 at 9:52 PM

I finally got to watch a complete video on HotAir. I usually can’t watch anything. Nothing would load for me. Whatever you guys did, keep doing it please.

Jewel on June 14, 2007 at 10:51 PM

Seeing masses of people wanting to behead us is more than a little frightening! Why are so few people concerned with this obvious MAJOR threat??

On the lyrics and vocals, outstanding! You guys ROCK!

hollygolightly on June 14, 2007 at 11:02 PM

Please be careful both of you! The truth hurts and those it hurts the most don’t that it kindly.

SSG Fuzzy on June 15, 2007 at 1:47 AM

Well done, I particuarly enjoyed the small clip showing Michelle and Bryan doing the song.

Many here know well the violent tendency of Islam, but what has been missing for soooooooo long is continuous discussion of what is a “moderate” Muslim and how they reconicle their “moderation” with Islam’s directives of conquest or death of the infidel.

A couple of examples of “moderate” Islam: The Kurds in Iraq, the Albanians, and large number of Turks. Every time I come to the conclusion there is no such thing as a “moderate” Muslim something like Albania pops up.

I would really really enjoy a vent, or post, especially with Robert Spencer, on understanding what is a “moderate” Muslim, and how they reconcile their practice of their faith with Islamic directives of conquest and murder.

omegaram on June 15, 2007 at 2:28 AM

To those who say to Brian, “Don’t quit your day job,” uh, isn’t this his day job? I think it’s an excellent spoof. Good job, both of you.

As for vocal technique to which they’re probably alluding, I’m a flutist and not a singer by training and trade, but try the following. It sounds like your voice is focused in your throat currently, and I bet that your throat was a bit tired after a few takes of that. Raise that point of focus out of your throat and into the backmost, uppermost part of your sinuses. A vocal tone is produced through our throats, not in it; really, it gets its air and strength at the bottom of our lungs, gains a pitch through our throats, and gains its true tone with the shapes of our mouths. Basically, if it feels like you’re focusing your tone toward your eyes but you’re keeping your nose open (no Willie Nelson sounds here, nothing against him), you’re doing it right. The tone quality will be different, but it will be larger, and it’ll take less effort to sing and less effort to stay on top of the pitch when you leap up to high notes.

The narrower your throat becomes (higher pitches), the more loose and open everything around it needs to be. Reaching for the high notes ends up tightening those muscles, giving that tired feeling which can lead to damage for people who sing often. When you go up to a high note, drop your jaw rather than raising it, for instance. Granted, people take months and years of voice lessons to learn the finer points of these things, but that’s what it boils down to.

flutejpl on June 15, 2007 at 10:43 AM

From an individual who actually is a professional musician I say to you Michelle and Bryan, that was mighty damn nice keep up the good work.

doriangrey on June 15, 2007 at 11:57 AM

Nice piece folks. Very inspiring.

sonnyspats1 on June 15, 2007 at 7:17 PM

Someday when Islam reforms, it will be, in part, because of influences like this. This has a timeless and universal message. Bravo.

RushBaby on June 15, 2007 at 7:31 PM

I’m at a loss for words, and that never happens. Outstanding !

Maxx on June 15, 2007 at 8:25 PM

Very well done. Powerful accompanying video.

doingwhatican on June 17, 2007 at 7:21 AM

This is very very good, well written and performed

…as it started, I was smiling at the cleverness of the writing , yet by the end I had a tear in my eye, and pain in my heart.

shooter on June 18, 2007 at 12:35 PM

HELP!!! The vid crashes my browsers, both IE and Firefox!
Please re-up this in a mpg, wmv, avi, etc., or as you have normally done in the past!
kevcad on June 14, 2007 at 6:42 PM

NEVER open blip in firefox…open an IE window and view it there.

I wrote the lyrics. Bryan did vocals. And yes, we are quite happy with blip.tv!
Michelle on June 14, 2007 at 11:35 AM

OR, Does anyone have a suggestion for viewing this in Firefox? lotsa people seem to love blip, but firefox end users are mystified.

p.s. EVERYONE email this, digg it, hurl/furl it or whatever else there is to do…maybe we can get the artists to perform live in H&C or O’Reilly even…( ok, maybe just on redeye)

shooter on June 18, 2007 at 12:41 PM

What no download for IPOD anymore?

BadBrad on June 20, 2007 at 9:12 AM