Video: Good news — Paris finds God in jail

posted at 1:41 pm on June 11, 2007 by Allahpundit

You didn’t think I’d do it, did you?

The best part of this clip is that it practically guarantees a special Paris appearance on “The View” when she gets out, where she’ll talk about her grueling five-day ordeal of eating unsweetened oatmeal and playing ping pong all day and and how it led her inexorably to Jesus. Money quote:

I’m not the same person I was… I used to act dumb, it was an act and that act is no longer cute. It is not who I am… I am 26 years old now and it is a different time. I have become much more spiritual. God has given me this new chance… My spirit or sould did not like the way I was being seen and that is why I was sent to jail. God has released me.

She’s thinking of building Paris Hilton’s Playhouse for sick children once she gets out. Oh, and her face is really dry because they won’t let her use moisturizer.

I leave you with the ultimate contrarian’s predictably contrarian response to the global Paris-bashing this weekend. Enjoy it; it’s the first and last time you’ll find a socialist scolding people for indulging their class resentment.

Update: Just what we need to make this a full, three-ring circus — perspective from O.J.

Link: sevenload.com


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Yeah! I give that a week!

Dread Pirate Roberts VI on June 11, 2007 at 1:49 PM

I, honestly, hope she changed. I hope what she told Babwa is true. I doubt it, but I hope it is.

amerpundit on June 11, 2007 at 1:52 PM

Why doesn’t the media including HotAir leave the woman alone ?

Maxx on June 11, 2007 at 2:03 PM

So, I need an answer from the resident HotAir God Squad:

Does Paris represent evidence of a creator employing intelligent design?

JayHaw Phrenzie on June 11, 2007 at 2:03 PM

Paris Hilton, The View and O.J. all on the same page.

My head just exploded.

fogw on June 11, 2007 at 2:05 PM

Why doesn’t the media including HotAir leave the woman alone ?

Maxx on June 11, 2007 at 2:03 PM

Yea, that’s what she wants alright, to be left alone. I guess that’s why she gave a collect call to one of the biggest celebrity interviewers of all time.

Why don’t you Free Paris types give it a rest. She’s a media whore just seeing the other side of the coin…and still loving it.

JackStraw on June 11, 2007 at 2:05 PM

Haha haha! She said. “I felt as if I was in a cage…” OMFG! She really is that dumb! Hello, earth to Paris,,, hun, you didn’t just feel like you were in a cage… you really were/are in a cage!

4shoes on June 11, 2007 at 2:06 PM

JayHaw Phrenzie on June 11, 2007 at 2:03 PM

I’m not really the most religious person here, and I believe in evolution, but here goes…how could anything short of a divine hand give us something so mindlessly delightfully entertaining?

Bad Candy on June 11, 2007 at 2:09 PM

On one hand, I agree with Hitchens. On the other, I hope she moves to Montana when she gets out. Living in Los Angeles is not helping her.

PRCalDude on June 11, 2007 at 2:12 PM

And you wonder why religion turns some people off. This is just about enough to turn me atheist. There’s one big point in atheist’s favor: they never convert to atheism in prison then write long books about it.

Wait a minute. They get to play Ping Pong? Sweet. Where do I sign up? I need a vacation.

Professor Blather on June 11, 2007 at 2:16 PM

So, I need an answer from the resident HotAir God Squad:

Does Paris represent evidence of a creator employing intelligent design?

JayHaw Phrenzie on June 11, 2007 at 2:03 PM

No, not exactly … but Paris is proof positive that evolution is not real.

If Darwinian evolution was responsible for human development, whatever genetic material spawned Paris would have died off and slunk back to the swamps about 1000 generations ago.

In fact, the fact that she and her family even exist is proof of miracles, fairies, and BigFoot. There’s really no other explanation.

Well, unless I’m imagining the whole thing in a peyote-inducted night sweat. The whole Hunter S. Thompson perspective.

Or maybe Paris *is* God and she’s just toying with us.

It would explain a few things.

Professor Blather on June 11, 2007 at 2:20 PM

A Paris Hilton Playhouse for Children. Why, that sounds like a splendid idea. A self-absorbed, medai obsessed, Hollywood wacko who’s 15 minutes were up a long time ago building a park for children.

Maybe she could call it Neverland.

JackStraw on June 11, 2007 at 2:22 PM

The judge knew exactly what this girl needed!
Now if he would get jurisdiction over Britney and Lindsay the world could sleep a little better..

Viper1 on June 11, 2007 at 2:22 PM

Does Paris represent evidence of a creator employing intelligent design?

JayHaw Phrenzie on June 11, 2007 at 2:03 PM

There’s a big difference between intelligent design and designing intelligence.

jdpaz on June 11, 2007 at 2:26 PM

I hope for her sake it is real. Saying she was living an unhealthy life style would be an understatement. Six months ago if you’d have asked me if she’d live to see 30 I’d have said no.

bj1126 on June 11, 2007 at 2:31 PM

Found religion now? I thought she found it years ago…everyone has laid hands on her, she has shouted “Oh my God” and “Jesus” more than any other 20 some year old, she thinks she is God’s gift to the entertainment world, she has spent plenty of time on her knees.

Does anyone think it is strange that Babs was talking to Hilton as a friend? The elite in this world stick together. What a bunch of elitists snobs. I can just hear Hilton crying out for her baby. “Babs the time we shared in Monte Carlo was so special, can’t you do anything to ease the pain. We’ll have lunch next time your in N.Y. If you just take this call from my precious Paris, our PR guy says it will do the trick. By the way, thanks for dumping that fat bitch she was so uncouth and unkept.”

right2bright on June 11, 2007 at 2:32 PM

Six months ago if you’d have asked me if she’d live to see could count to 30 I’d have said no.
bj1126 on June 11, 2007 at 2:31 PM

Fixed it for you.

SouthernDem on June 11, 2007 at 2:36 PM

Why doesn’t the media including HotAir leave the woman alone ?

Maxx on June 11, 2007 at 2:03 PM

Yea, that’s what she wants alright, to be left alone. I guess that’s why she gave a collect call to one of the biggest celebrity interviewers of all time.

Why don’t you Free Paris types give it a rest. She’s a media whore just seeing the other side of the coin…and still loving it.

JackStraw on June 11, 2007 at 2:05 PM

I’m sure not a “Free Paris type,” if that is what you thought. My point, which I obviously didn’t make, was that far too much attention is being paid to this. How many post has HotAir done on this now…. six? Seven?

She deserves her 45 days in jail and should have to serve it just like anyone else would. But I don’t blame her for trying to drum-up sympathy for herself or to make a buck off of this, if she can… then why not? But it’s the misguided media that allows that to happen. Ahhh… but anything for ratings.

Maxx on June 11, 2007 at 2:37 PM

paris for senate

lorien1973 on June 11, 2007 at 2:39 PM

Paris found God all right. She used to be named Helen, but now she’s the “God” of Cell Block 13.

Expect an internet video, too.

Nethicus on June 11, 2007 at 2:45 PM

Maxx on June 11, 2007 at 2:37 PM

Fortunatly most of us can multi-task. We can actually comment on Paris and still keep focused on the amnesty bill. She is a great diversion, a cartoon character, which she created…crying to be made fun of, laughed at. Like I said, a diversion from reality. What I am amazed at is the amount of people who defend this person. Like listening to a joke about Gore and someone standing up and saying “I don’t think that is fair calling him stiff”.

Anyway, lorien1973 has the best idea. Paris for Senate.

right2bright on June 11, 2007 at 2:45 PM

She’s thinking of building Paris Hilton’s Playhouse for sick children once she gets out.

What does that remind me of? Oh yeah, I remember now: The Derek Zoolander Center For Children Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too.

SailorDave on June 11, 2007 at 2:47 PM

This is clearly a statement written by her publicist. They have finally gotten the message that people hate her, and are begining her image rehabilitation. I think her and her people were completely clueless about how much America loathed that girl, and this is a last ditch to save her “career”.

bmac on June 11, 2007 at 2:48 PM

Has anyone talked about the fact that Paris seems to be the recepient of double jeopardy. She was sentenced, reported for jail, sent home, brought back, and sentenced AGAIN! Personally, I would have told the judge to take a hike the 2nd time.

Masscon on June 11, 2007 at 2:53 PM

I hope she has found God.
Dueteronomy 4:29
But if from thence thou shalt seek the LORD thy God, thou shalt find [him], if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul.

abinitioadinfinitum on June 11, 2007 at 3:03 PM

Has anyone talked about the fact that Paris seems to be the recepient of double jeopardy.

Nope. Cause’ it isn’t.

She wasn’t prosecuted twice for the same charge. So, no double jeopardy.

As long as she’s in custody, they can move her around to any facility they want. She was in jail serving her sentence, was remanded to her home to continue serving her sentence, and then was remanded back to the jail to further continue serving her sentence.

She’ll get out when she serves her sentence, as she should.

BacaDog on June 11, 2007 at 3:12 PM

What convict hasn’t reported to have “found” God sooner or later? Jail house conversion? Nothing new here. Let’s see how long it takes her to “lose” God after she gets out.

Guardian on June 11, 2007 at 3:14 PM

How splendidly we progress.

Who can say it better? Pure British – the positive side.

Entelechy on June 11, 2007 at 3:25 PM

Personally, I would have told the judge to take a hike the 2nd time.

Masscon on June 11, 2007 at 2:53 PM

I’ve heard that giving your judge a hard time is very effective. Let me know how that works out for you Prisoner 84038503

JackStraw on June 11, 2007 at 3:30 PM

paris for senate

lorien1973 on June 11, 2007 at 2:39 PM

What’s her position on the amnesty bill?

JayHaw Phrenzie on June 11, 2007 at 3:40 PM

What’s her position on the amnesty bill?

JayHaw Phrenzie on June 11, 2007 at 3:40 PM

Before we ask, we’d have to make sure she knows she wouldn’t have to deport her chihuahua.

James on June 11, 2007 at 3:47 PM

JayHaw Phrenzie on June 11, 2007 at 3:40 PM

That really needed a keyboard alert. Because you know, you just know, that thousands of conservatives are thinking, “Well, she couldn’t do much worse…”

Laura on June 11, 2007 at 3:47 PM

She’s found God? Hitchens’ empathy will dry up quick when he finds out.

baldilocks on June 11, 2007 at 3:53 PM

“Good news — Paris finds God in jail”

This is good news.

Christoph on June 11, 2007 at 4:06 PM

Walters is so yesterday

Wade on June 11, 2007 at 4:07 PM

My spirit or sould did not like the way I was being seen and that is why I was sent to jail.

I dunno… I’d be looking for another image consultant if I were her – who knows where her spirit/soul will get her sent next?

Laura on June 11, 2007 at 4:24 PM

Paris finds God in jail

I was wondering where the heck he was…

IrishEi on June 11, 2007 at 4:48 PM

I was wondering where the heck he was…

I heard he’s in there for killing someone.

Tanya on June 11, 2007 at 5:08 PM

Now we find out Paris is “no longer going to act dumb”. That makes my year.

right2bright on June 11, 2007 at 5:14 PM

“Getting religion” usually takes an inmate at least a week
or more. Geeeze!

gary on June 11, 2007 at 5:55 PM

Unbelievable.

robblefarian on June 11, 2007 at 5:59 PM

This interview suggests a certain self-realization and maturity.

While change can be long and arduous, it can also happen in the twinkling of an eye and certainly after a jail sentence.

I once went to jail for a much shorter period of time than Paris is sentenced and I resolved to be law abiding upon my release.

I was and am.

Who here can say Paris has not found God?

Would her lack of perfection from here on out indicate she hasn’t? Who here is perfect in their application of goodness to their own life?

I wish her every support and chance for accomplishing more of substance with her life.

Christoph on June 11, 2007 at 9:21 PM

And you alls said she couldn’t act. I for one, thought she really was dumb

flipflopper on June 12, 2007 at 12:18 PM