Comments on: Cool facts about a Chuck Norris presidency — by Chuck Norris

By: Nonfactor

Nonfactor — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 09:18:50 +0000

Chuck Norris jokes got old when Chuck Norris got in on the joke.

By: Mojave Mark

Mojave Mark — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 05:07:57 +0000

Tattoo an American flag with the words, “In God we trust,” on the forehead of every atheist.

What about the tatoo on the forearm too?

Jones Zemkophill on June 11, 2007 at 11:48 PM

Love the list. No Brian Dennehy?

By: Jones Zemkophill

Jones Zemkophill — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 03:48:12 +0000

My Fictional Ticket including Chuck Norris: President: General (Ret.) Jack O'Neil (as portrayed by Richard Dean Anderson) Vice President: Aragorn: Son of Arathorn (Vigo Mortenson) Secretary of State: Sam Fisher (Sam Fisher's an American even if Michael Ironside isn't.) Secretary of Defense: Sgt. Maj. Bill Hafner (As portrayed by R. Lee Ermy.) Secretary of Homeland Security: CHUCK NORRIS (CHUCK NORRIS AS CHUCK NORRIS.) Secretary of the Interior: Ted Nugent (as Himself) Attorney General: Judge Joe Brown (As himself.) Yes, that rounds the key positions for me. (Actually.... I approve of those last four in real life for real.)

By: Tony737

Tony737 — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 02:55:12 +0000

Chuck’s not the best actor in the world, and his TV show “Walker” is kinda corny, but there was one episode I saw as I flipped through the channels that made me stop and watch. It was about a little girl who was hit by a bullet fired by a gang banger in a driveby shooting. After she recovered, she saw the guy driving up and she stepped out into the street. He stopped the car and she whispered into his ear and walked away. The guy in the passanger seat asked what she said. His answer: “She said ‘I forgive you’”.

By: William2006

William2006 — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 02:27:31 +0000

A reminder to all those here who stated who they think would be good for Homeland Security,

Chuck made that choice in his article “If I am elected president” at WND already when he said, “Resurrect Bruce Lee and appoint him head of homeland security (OK, the CIA and FBI too).”

I think Bruce Lee is a great choice!

Bill “Superfoot Wallace” would be a good assitant, or second to Bruce Lee as Homeland Security chief, while Joe Louis, the father of modern full contact Karate, would be great somewhere, such as in the Defense Department, or as a General, or something.

Then we’d have to find a place for Billy Blanks and Don “The Dragon” Wilson as well.

William

By: Cool facts about a Chuck Norris presidency — by Chuck Norris « Arhive « Latest World’s News

Tue, 12 Jun 2007 02:24:28 +0000

[...] Original post by tips@hotair.com (Hot Air Network, LLC) Read More… [...]

By: BacaDog

BacaDog — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 02:11:34 +0000

And, this guy as Secretary of Defense.

By: Jaibones

Jaibones — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 01:50:38 +0000

Jack Bauer will be head of the CIA

Defector01 on June 11, 2007 at 8:40 PM

Enough with the lib sissy actors already!

By: Jaibones

Jaibones — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 01:49:49 +0000

And can I get an “amen” for Bourne as head of the CIA?

Vinnie on June 11, 2007 at 8:00 PM

No, Vinnie, you cannot. How many lib pansies do you want in your new fauxtuff government?

By: SouthernDem

SouthernDem — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 00:53:22 +0000

Love the list but…

Require Bill Gates and Warren Buffet to personally pay for national, comprehensive medical coverage for every American (or meet me in the Rose Garden).

What?
Did Hilary’s hackers sneak that in or something?

By: CrimsonFisted

CrimsonFisted — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 00:48:00 +0000

Create new immigration legislation: to deport all liberals (then force them to listen to Bill O’ Reilly every day for five years, at which point they may return).

Giggle, snort, tee hee!

That is good.

By: JollyRoger

JollyRoger — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 00:46:13 +0000

I retract my last post due to getting roundhouse kicked in the face by Chuck Norris.

By: JollyRoger

JollyRoger — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 00:45:13 +0000

Chuck Norris facts are slightly funnier when not written by Chuck Norris.

Can we bring back MacGuyver, too? I’m thinking Homeland Security.

By: Defector01

Defector01 — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 00:40:56 +0000

Jack Bauer will be head of the CIA

By: forest

forest — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 00:03:18 +0000

I’d like to follow the link and participate, but Walker Texas Ranger is on.

By: Vinnie

Vinnie — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 00:00:57 +0000

No mention of Ted Nugent as Interior Secretary? I’m disappointed.

No mention of Rambo as Secretary of State either. Or John McClane as head of Homeland Security.

And can I get an “amen” for Bourne as head of the CIA?

By: robblefarian

robblefarian — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 23:51:00 +0000

That was terrible. Brrrr!

By: hollygolightly

hollygolightly — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 23:48:47 +0000

Oh my gosh, did he really write that?? If so, sheer awesomeness. If not, still pretty darned funny!

By: ReubenJCogburn

ReubenJCogburn — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 23:42:49 +0000

Actually, it’d be a Bauer/Walker 08 movement, because Jack Bauer would torture Walker into submitting to VP status.

Vinnie on June 11, 2007 at 7:36 PM

Nah, I’m going with Bauer/McQuade ’08, with McQuade’s truck as Secretary of Defense.

By: Blacklake

Blacklake — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 23:42:29 +0000

No mention of Ted Nugent as Interior Secretary? I’m disappointed.

By: Tanya

Tanya — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 23:39:50 +0000

I read that when it was in the Headlines section. Is it really written by him? If so, hilariously self-aware, but I couldn’t decide.

By: Vinnie

Vinnie — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 23:36:45 +0000

Actually, it’d be a Bauer/Walker 08 movement, because Jack Bauer would torture Walker into submitting to VP status.

By: Vinnie

Vinnie — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 23:35:28 +0000

Too bad Kiefer Sutherland is a lib sissy in real life, otherwise I’d start a Norris/Bauer ’08 movement.

Fred! wouldn’t stand a chance against it.

By: fusionaddict

fusionaddict — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 23:30:23 +0000

FACT 1: CM Punk is better than you.

FACT 2: Chuck Norris is better than CM Punk.

INFERENCE: Chuck Norris is also better than you.

By: amerpundit

amerpundit — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 23:28:14 +0000

I wonder if he'd shut down CAIR. Not that there's much left.