Video: What’s in store for “Harry Potter” finale? Date rape
posted at 10:56 pm on June 4, 2007 by Allahpundit
An Onion newsflash. Combine Pottermania with the “serious issues” strain of young adult lit and the intense creative pressure to contrive new and ever more exciting plot twists and you arrive at only one possible conclusion, my friends: sexual assault.
Nothing profane here but you should already know from the description whether this is your type of humor or not. If not, don’t watch.
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Is there a “put some ice on that” quote in it?
roninacreage on June 4, 2007 at 11:04 PM
Completely off topic. Sorry AP, but I just gotta share this.
I just got home from my daughters Girl Scout bridging ceremony. I was part of a group of about 100 parents and girls taking the next step in the Girl Scout program.
We all stood for the colors and said the Pledge of Allegience with the word God, and no one was embarrased, or complained.
It struck me that the kids were respectful and polite without parental intervention. Is it a sign of “good raisin’, or the mood of a new generation?
There’s hope, girls and boys. There’s hope.
BacaDog on June 4, 2007 at 11:16 PM
Wizards, wands, and Rohypnol?
Oh, hogwarts!
locomotivebreath1901 on June 5, 2007 at 12:03 AM
I heard the results of a survey a few months ago on the radio (I can’t remember any specifices, sadly), and the upshot of it was that the up and coming crowd is going to be much more conservative than the current seedy crop. I thought, for the first time, that it might end up that the baby boomers will have been an aberration, some form of national nervous breakdown from which there will eventually be complete recovery. As a I’m a baby boomer myself, I affirm that if I must die in order to help rid the world of the collective insanity of my cohort, I gladly accept that fate. (Heroic? Only in a John Kerry sort of way.)
smellthecoffee on June 5, 2007 at 12:25 AM
Disrespect for your date is such a shame, and if women would just think about how badly the Republic needs children, most of these situations could be avoided.
Yes, this is writ sarcastick.
Kralizec on June 5, 2007 at 12:57 AM
Is this a parody or real?
hadsil on June 5, 2007 at 2:20 AM
parody
j_ehman on June 5, 2007 at 2:46 AM
OT Allah, if you’re going to blog headlines, please set up a comment thread. Otherwise, we scream silently.
Connie on June 5, 2007 at 3:06 AM
Onion is always parody hadsil :)
(1) Interesting pickle, that boomer generation. But I’m going to leave it alone because I don’t get it. (2) Too harsh! You needn’t off-the-cliff to take the others with you :) Let’s just watch them run from a safe distance. Here, I’ll put my tail-gate down and … Dr. Pepper? Beer? (digs in the ice chest)
Axe on June 5, 2007 at 3:11 AM
Unfortunately, rarely funny.
Ugly on June 5, 2007 at 4:18 AM
*sigh*. Who knows with JKR–even though this is parody, I wouldn’t put it past her after the last book and some of her comments.
Vanceone on June 5, 2007 at 4:42 AM
No, a flaming case of hogwarts can’t be cured like that…it takes magic.
James on June 5, 2007 at 7:29 AM
Does it have anything to do with Hillary and Vince Foster?
Attila (Pillage Idiot) on June 5, 2007 at 7:40 AM
Who knew Crabbe and Goyle were lacrosse players?
Steve LLamabutcher on June 5, 2007 at 10:57 AM
I believe it was Ginny in the Dining Room with the love potion. Miss Scarlet herself!
Vanceone on June 5, 2007 at 11:47 AM
I wonder, was that a reference Harlan Ellison’s short story, “I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream,” or to the anti-abortion film, Silent Scream?
Kralizec on June 5, 2007 at 12:09 PM
Oh, I wouldn’t say that….they do have quite a few really funny spots. This, wasn’t one of them.
heatherrc77 on June 5, 2007 at 12:16 PM
C’mon! The Onion is great-they were the only made up news source to confirm last week that Brett Farve was demanding to be traded to the 1996-97 Green Bay Packers, who were more committed to winning! That’s great stuff!
Doug on June 5, 2007 at 12:52 PM
Well, with a moniker like mine…I feel like I should have a comment…
….
nope…I got nothin.
Funny? Not as such.
tickleddragon on June 5, 2007 at 2:00 PM
I think the onion was peeled several layers too deep this time.
Freelancer on June 5, 2007 at 2:54 PM
I thought for sure this one would feature Harry hooking up with a frumpy Brit author and the two of them would be happily shacked up for the rest of their lives.
James on June 5, 2007 at 3:01 PM
Oh, ok. My bad.
( Whew! :) )
hadsil on June 6, 2007 at 1:45 AM