Video: The stupid new Loch Ness monster footage

posted at 9:10 am on June 1, 2007 by Allahpundit

It’s Friday and you’re all curious to see it no matter how much you may pretend otherwise, so here you go. Send some kid from Alabama out there in a boat, hand him a pistol, and they’ll be eating Nessie sausages in Montgomery for the next thousand years.


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I think there is a Gandalf sighting in this clip as well.

Good Lt on June 1, 2007 at 9:19 AM

I saw the monster plain as day in the video. It was swimming right next to the Republicans’ chances of winning in 2008.

flipflop on June 1, 2007 at 9:23 AM

Key word in the story: “tourism”

The economy is bad; release “amateur?” scientist’s video!

Thereby creating “stampede frenzy” of Nessie lookers.

Brat on June 1, 2007 at 9:26 AM

What did the Loch Ness Monster say to his friend?
Long time no sea!

Geez…..tough crowd.

soulsirkus on June 1, 2007 at 9:28 AM

Compelling vid.
Cooda been Al Gore out for a swim.

SJBill on June 1, 2007 at 9:29 AM

Slow news day?

vcferlita on June 1, 2007 at 9:34 AM

Rosie?

Buzzy on June 1, 2007 at 9:39 AM

The guy who originally saw Nessie admitted that he hoaxed it. There is no monster. Get over it.

The Dinosaurs were killed out after they got on Noah’s Ark, I saw it at the creation museum.

lorien1973 on June 1, 2007 at 9:40 AM

We’re all Gonna Die!!!!!

iNeXuS on June 1, 2007 at 9:44 AM

I think there is a Gandalf sighting in this clip as well.

I thought it was Moses

Drtuddle on June 1, 2007 at 9:49 AM

It’s just a whale taking a fresh water vacation like the two that were in Sacramento.

Brat on June 1, 2007 at 9:50 AM

What was the video created with and is there a website???

allie on June 1, 2007 at 9:55 AM

I think the reporter nailed it at the end. The people there depend on the legend for income. Times are slow? Throw the local mecha-nessie in the water, buzz it around the loch and hope someone video tapes it. Bam! Insta-commerce.

mojowire on June 1, 2007 at 9:57 AM

No doubt in my mind… that was Nessie, looked just like him.

Maxx on June 1, 2007 at 10:09 AM

Shoulda never given him the damn ‘tree fitty’.

Readymade on June 1, 2007 at 10:11 AM

Seriously though, what was that?

Buck Turgidson on June 1, 2007 at 10:13 AM

Seriously though, what was that?

Buck Turgidson on June 1, 2007 at 10:13 AM

Adam Gadahn taking his yearly bath.

infidel4life on June 1, 2007 at 10:16 AM

“There be whales here, Captain!”
Scotty, Star Trek IV

Brat on June 1, 2007 at 10:19 AM

I would suspect rueter’s fauxtography, but I’m quite certain nessie is not palestinian.

locomotivebreath1901 on June 1, 2007 at 10:20 AM

Would have been easier to view without the trialware banner stretched right across the key area of the film.

Faith1 on June 1, 2007 at 10:29 AM

I think it was a Red-Speckled Elbermung.

robblefarian on June 1, 2007 at 10:31 AM

Is it true that the run-off from Scottish distileries goes into Loch Ness? That would explain the sightings, ay laddies?

Shy Guy on June 1, 2007 at 10:37 AM

But wait… Could this be Nessie driven from the depths by global warming? Oh, No! Quick, ready the virgin sacrifice — or maybe a massive carbon tax!

Lamonte Thomas on June 1, 2007 at 10:40 AM

I’m convinced. And it’s Bushe’s fault too. Oh, I guess that part doesn’t apply in this case.

stonemeister on June 1, 2007 at 10:44 AM

No Nessie?!!!
Next yer gonna say that Champ and Chessie(not the railroad kitten) aren’t real.
i’m shattered.
*pout*

annoyinglittletwerp on June 1, 2007 at 10:46 AM

Fake but accurate?

Brat on June 1, 2007 at 10:53 AM

Isn’t that that weird scientist guy who believes in, what do they call it, “climate change”?

Halley on June 1, 2007 at 10:54 AM

That’s the worst Nessie video, ever.

Krydor on June 1, 2007 at 11:11 AM

Would have been much better if they just used the Toyota Tacoma commercial and called it their own.

“Shoot it! Shoot it!”

Editor on June 1, 2007 at 11:22 AM

If you look closely at the video, you can see Sasquatch riding Nessie.

Tantor on June 1, 2007 at 11:30 AM

annoyinglittletwerp on June 1, 2007 at 10:46 AM

Hey, I have a friend who swears she saw Champ.

jdpaz on June 1, 2007 at 11:40 AM

If you look closely at the video, you can see Sasquatch riding Nessie.

Tantor on June 1, 2007 at 11:30 AM

I thought we were done with Rosie threads….

Darksean on June 1, 2007 at 11:41 AM

Hey, I have a friend who swears she saw Champ.

jdpaz on June 1, 2007 at 11:40 AM

The two clips they keep showing look different. One is that giant discoloration in the water, and the other, som thing creating a wake. I believe these are two different things, but who knows, maybe it’s just the way the video is edited for tv.

That said, the one with the little wake is very similar to what I just saw last week. Scared the crap out of me because I just bought a kayak and was testing it out up at my Grandfather’s house (he lives on Lake Champlain… pretty much anywhere worth going here is within 5-10 miles of the lake anyay). In the bay I was in, I didn’t see any other boats, as the “season” doesn’t really start until Memorial Day (this was the week before). The water was like glass that day, and all of a sudden I saw this little wake thing coming right at me. Out there, by myself, in 45 degree water, it freaked me out for a few seconds. It was way to small to be champ though. Probably an otter. But that little wake in this video looked just like it.

Anyway, did anyone see the video that a couple guys from the NY side sent in to ABC News last year? It’s really annoying because I can’t find that video anywhere anymore. They kept some stupid video, used in the same report, of “something” off in the distance, but it’s really not evidence of anything. The one that was really shocking was taken right over the edge of the boat, where it looked like a long neck and head move by just below the surface.

RightWinged on June 1, 2007 at 11:56 AM

I think they should send Geraldo down in the Calypso to get to the bottom of this mystery. He’s about due for another hugely hyped story that goes nowhere.

smellthecoffee on June 1, 2007 at 11:58 AM

Again, this isn’t the video because ABC for whatever reason no longer has the best part posted (so don’t get excited when you see the ABC link at this site), but this site does have a few stills from the good video:

http://www.cryptomundo.com/bigfoot-report/abc-champ-video/

Not as good as seeing the actual video, but the best I can find right now.

RightWinged on June 1, 2007 at 12:01 PM

Seriously though, what was that?
Buck Turgidson on June 1, 2007 at 10:13 AM

Alden Pyle on June 1, 2007 at 12:18 PM

Seriously though, what was that?
….Buck Turgidson

I dunno, but he seems to be sneaking across the border via a waterway: quick someone get him a Z visa, a lawyer and add Loch Ness Monsters to protected class minorities.

Alden Pyle on June 1, 2007 at 12:23 PM

Pu-leez. There are only two reasons for the “Nessie” and “Champ” and other such sightings.

1. Tourism $$$

2. For guys to take dates under the guise of catching a glimpse – like going to Inspiration Point to watch the “submarine races” on Happy Days.

Brat on June 1, 2007 at 12:25 PM

If you look closely at the video, you can see Sasquatch riding Nessie.

Tantor on June 1, 2007 at 11:30 AM

My collie says:

Nessie and Sasquatch both deserve amnesty. Elvis is going to draft legislation to make certain that they get it, too.

CyberCipher on June 1, 2007 at 12:28 PM

They call him Flipper, Flipper, faster than lightning,
no one you see, is smarter than he,
and we know Flipper, lives in a world full of wonder,
flying there under, under the sea!

Seixon on June 1, 2007 at 12:30 PM

Seriously though, what was that?

Geraldo’s credibly!

Dread Pirate Roberts VI on June 1, 2007 at 12:33 PM

Pu-leez. There are only two reasons for the “Nessie” and “Champ” and other such sightings.

1. Tourism $$$

2. For guys to take dates under the guise of catching a glimpse – like going to Inspiration Point to watch the “submarine races” on Happy Days.

Brat on June 1, 2007 at 12:25 PM

Actually, I’m not sure how much “tourism” Champ brings us, considering Nessie is the one mentioned most often, while Champ is virtually ignored, despite having one undebunkable photo (while the famous Nessie one has been debunked).

Anyway, I’ve never met anyone who’s come here on vacation to see Champ, and that would be pretty stupid considering sightings are EXTREMELY rare, and most “sightings” are just inconclusive mystery wakes and currents anyway.

As for your number 2 explanation, that’s just silly.

For those interested, Nessie and the often ignored Champ are not the only ones… a whole bunch of lakes just north of here, in Canada, are said to have similar creatures, including Ogopogo.

RightWinged on June 1, 2007 at 12:50 PM

Hoot-Mon! I’m sure to be tippin the single malts tonight!
Whares me Shillelagh!

Kini on June 1, 2007 at 1:07 PM

Ogopogo is absolutely real!

I grew up in BC and I saw it every time my boyfriend took me to Squally “Inspiration” Point late at night.

Brat on June 1, 2007 at 1:12 PM

Very nice video of the effects of a seiche.

wearyman on June 1, 2007 at 2:29 PM

I’m only a dolphin, ma’am.

The Ugly American on June 1, 2007 at 2:39 PM

I’m late to the party, but
If the world has just discovered the third highest waterfall in 2002. The past few years the world has discovered all kinds of new species from big cats to rodents and birds, to all kinds of other animals here, here,here. Than I would say there is at least a possibility that this creature could be real. after all man knows more about the moon ( which is very little) then He does about what’s in our seas. I’m not saying I believe but I’m not saying that I don’t.

abinitioadinfinitum on June 1, 2007 at 4:01 PM

I forgot about Ogopogo.
Sorry RighWinged.

annoyinglittletwerp on June 1, 2007 at 4:49 PM

Here on Lake Erie we have the shy and reclusive Giant Goby.

Buck Turgidson on June 1, 2007 at 9:02 PM

Don’t ya just love the accents!

I didn’t know the ZZ Top guitarist was Scottish!

Mojave Mark on June 2, 2007 at 12:25 AM