Video: Upon further review, coffee-table computer pretty darned awesome

posted at 1:01 pm on May 31, 2007 by Allahpundit

Two more clips for you to follow yesterday’s post, the first another promo and the second a review from Popular Mechnics. The feature that lets you swap files between devices is neat, but how useful will it be five years from now when this baby finally hits the home-use market and everyone’s already carrying iPhones? I do like the shopping and check-splitting capabilities, though, even though they’re rudimentary compared to the rest. Imagine slapping some plastic down on the touchscreen, punching up Amazon, and literally just sliding the items you want over to your card. Or how about calling up a map, pointing in curiosity to some local take-out place you haven’t tried, and impulsively “grabbing” the most delicious-looking item on their virtual menu?

A golden age of whim-buying, obesity, and crushing consumer debt begins, my friends. Can you feel it?

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Awesome. However, won’t this create some serious back problems hunched over a coffee table for hours on end?

Kokonut on May 31, 2007 at 1:05 PM

TV Coffee tables? TV’s in the backs of cars. TV’s in the showers. TV’s on our cell phones. TV’s on paper thin screens. Man I’m getting old. It seems like it was just yesterday I was twisting and turning antennas (rabbit ears) and holding one leg to the east and one arm to the west just to pick up the 3 channels that were available at that time.

soulsirkus on May 31, 2007 at 1:17 PM

It’ll look great to see my coffee cup silhouetted by the blue screen of death.

a4g on May 31, 2007 at 1:29 PM

Already looking at getting one of these for the office. ;)

bj1126 on May 31, 2007 at 1:30 PM

Hey Allah,
Why would I want an Iphone? The phone I already have stores 1gb of MP3s. I can rip all my CDs to MP3s and then store them on my phone just like a sony Walkman. It also has a very useful camera. Don’t Iphones get stuck using that proprietary Itune software? Can you rip your CDs to that software? I can also rip d/l free Mps from the net from upcoming artists and other clips. Can you do that with your futuristic iphone? Sorry, I just dont get the propietary “I-stuff”.

paulsur on May 31, 2007 at 1:30 PM

sooooo….

What happens if you sit on it :))))))

Sorry couldn’t resist!

-Wasteland Man.

WastelandMan on May 31, 2007 at 1:31 PM

Don’t forget to use a coaster.

KelliD on May 31, 2007 at 1:47 PM

Awesome? I don’t know. Maybe pretty cool with moderate awesomeness potential.

flipflop on May 31, 2007 at 1:52 PM

Can you feel it?

Sure, but can you download porn.

What happens if you sit on it :))))))
WastelandMan on May 31, 2007 at 1:31 PM

I would envision humans with microchips implants, much like dogs and cats are done these days with your bio, medical, wealth, all that stuff available for the table to read.

I for one, look forward to that reality.

Kini on May 31, 2007 at 2:00 PM

does it have an optional “female” attachment. If so, who needs human contact?

lorien1973 on May 31, 2007 at 2:01 PM

Upon further review, coffee-table computer pretty darned awesome still sucks.

Come on – is this the best we can hope for? Coffe table computers?

Editor on May 31, 2007 at 2:03 PM

I despise Microsoft with the intensity of a thousand suns. Looks like a dumb idea to me, why would you want to lay stuff onto your monitor? Now what happens when you spill coffee on your coffee table…. Ahhh I know… then you get to pay Microsoft another thousand bucks.

Maxx on May 31, 2007 at 2:08 PM

This table clearly shows elements of Intelligent Design. It is ludicrous to believe this table could have been formed through evolution.

Oh wait, wrong thread, nevermind.

JayHaw Phrenzie on May 31, 2007 at 2:17 PM

Does it come with Spider Solitaire?

looking4statesmen on May 31, 2007 at 2:27 PM

“Begins”?

Jim Treacher on May 31, 2007 at 2:29 PM

Is this just an attempt to get HotAir a ‘review’ version? :)

Number 2 on May 31, 2007 at 2:46 PM

Does it come with a back brace?

Dread Pirate Roberts VI on May 31, 2007 at 2:47 PM

I would envision humans with microchips implants, much like dogs and cats are done these days with your bio, medical, wealth, all that stuff available for the table to read.

I for one, look forward to that reality.

Kini on May 31, 2007 at 2:00 PM

Then you look forward to absolute tyranny.

Maxx on May 31, 2007 at 2:47 PM

but how useful will it be five years from now when this baby finally hits the home-use market and everyone’s already carrying iPhones?

Did you not watch the videos? How many people can share an iPhone at one time? How many people can use the interface of an iPhone (or a desktop for that matter) at one time? The Surface is going to open up computing to being a group experience.

JinxMcHue on May 31, 2007 at 2:51 PM

sooooo….

What happens if you sit on it :))))))

It says, “Get your fat butt off me, lardo!” ;)

Alternatively, it could make farting sounds… XD

JinxMcHue on May 31, 2007 at 2:52 PM

a4g writes: “It’ll look great to see my coffee cup silhouetted by the blue screen of death.”

ROTFL!

WastelandMan asks: “What happens if you sit on it :))))))”

You can email pictures of your butt to all your friends and relatives. And what’s more, you don’t have to worry about being fired for getting caught Xeroxing your butt at work! You can amaze your friends and relatives at the size and number of the pimples on your butt in the privacy of your own home and at NO RISK TO YOUR CAREER for leaving “stains” on the office scanning plate.

Isn’t this the best of all possible worlds? ;^)

Maxx asks what happens if you spill your cup of coffee on the “table.” The message block that would appear would look something like this?

You have spilled liquid on this table, shorting out the circuitry on the surface, totally ruining this computer. OKAY?

Okay, now THIS is the big important question that MUST BE ANSWERED before this product can go forward:

What happens to all the authors and publishers of those “coffe table books” that NOBODY reads, but are placed on the coffee table for decorative effect? Because, it is obvious that you won’t be cluttering up your fine, new, computer table with anything that covers the surface, ruining the “interface” with your other neato-keeno gadgets.

In other words, will the market for unread, big, bulky, glossy-papered, expensive DECORATIVE books collapse? Won’t this cause the economy to tank?

I see a new-Luddite rebellion arising with thousands of photographers, authors, editors, typesetters, copy checkers, printers, paper company sales people, etc., storming MS HQ looking for payback!

And, DON’T EVEN THINK OF PUTTING YOUR FEET UP ON THIS BABY, while you’re watching the Sunday afternoon football game, boys and girls!

georgej on May 31, 2007 at 3:01 PM

Then you look forward to absolute tyranny.
Maxx on May 31, 2007 at 2:47 PM

Not really Maxx, after all, when President Hillary institutes the wealth redistribution and universal health care system, tyranny will be a thing of the past. Just see yourself like one of those clones in the Macintosh commercial.

Oh, and recognize sarcasm once in a while.

Kini on May 31, 2007 at 3:13 PM

The term “coffee-table PC” seems to be sticking to this Surface, which is a misnomer. There’s no reason to believe that multi-billion dollar casinos and international mobile phone dealers will purchase this thing as some high-tech/low-legged coffee table that their customers will be stooping over to use.

One market this technology could very easily take off is Japan, where mobile phones are regularly used by the populace to pay for goods and services. To that market, Surface could massive appeal as a means to quickly and easily order and pay from any countertop space in a restaurant, bar, or store. It’ll take Europe longer to adopt this technology because their disposable income is so low that they can’t afford it.

We can afford it here in the USA, but it’s obvious that paying via mobile phone on a Microsoft Surface is part of the dastardly plan of Microsoft, the Illuminati, Karl Rove, and the New World Order to give us all numbers rather than names, GPS-enabled microchip tracking implants up our colons, and accelerate the apocalypse. Because, as you know, Microsoft embeds microscopic CCTV cameras into the LCD screens of every computer that runs Windows. They don’t call them “monitors” for nothing.

Wow, it’s so obvious now that Microsoft Surface + payment via mobile phones = Destroying American sovereignty and a switch to the Amero. Only Ron Paul can save us from this fate!

ScottMcC on May 31, 2007 at 3:14 PM

Once this thing becomes available and drops in price, I’ll be getting one. While I love this stuff, I’ll wait for the uber-geeks to buy them and then deal with the problems associated with being the first on the block.

Krydor on May 31, 2007 at 3:30 PM

Looks to me like the desk in “The Island”.

Tony737 on May 31, 2007 at 4:05 PM

Is it obvious to anyone but me that you will ABSOLUTELY need to have biometrics built into Surface if it’s going to handle financial instruments?

The check splitting thing will be great. For women. Real men don’t split checks.

wordwarp on May 31, 2007 at 4:10 PM

Not really Maxx, after all, when President Hillary institutes the wealth redistribution and universal health care system, tyranny will be a thing of the past. Just see yourself like one of those clones in the Macintosh commercial.

Oh, and recognize sarcasm once in a while.

Kini on May 31, 2007 at 3:13 PM

Oh.. that was sarcasm… well OK then. And I’m glad because, personally I don’t look forward to the day the government requires everyone to implant electronic beepers up our butts so they can track up by satellite. Call me old fashioned if you like.

Maxx on May 31, 2007 at 4:12 PM

oops… “up” was suppose to be “us”

Maxx on May 31, 2007 at 4:13 PM

Call me old fashioned if you like.

Maxx on May 31, 2007 at 4:12 PM

I can relate also. However, I do believe there are those who see that a promising way to control us and keep power. It’s sorta already here in a voluntary sense, blackberry’s and other PDA are just the start. As by the people I know who can’t live without them. To stay connected, with the collective.

Kini on May 31, 2007 at 4:59 PM

Just a note to this discussion. Keep in mind that this type of technology is not meant to replace desktop computers. Many people believe (and still do) that tablet PC’s were meant to take over desktops and laptops. This is wrong. These advancements are to extend the use of the computer out of the office.

This technology, coupled with voice recognition, could make for some awesome interactions. Imagine turning on a Cubs game and the computer determines this, brings up player stats, instant replays, and orders you a pizza. Lazy man’s dream!

Right Tracker on May 31, 2007 at 5:32 PM

This technology, coupled with voice recognition, could make for some awesome interactions. Imagine turning on a Cubs game and the computer determines this, brings up player stats, instant replays, and orders you a pizza. Lazy man’s dream!

Right Tracker on May 31, 2007 at 5:32 PM

You say… “brings up player stats, instant replays, and orders your pizza” …. but after your pizza gets there …. imagine having to move your pizza, beer, and pretzels so you can see the silly screen. Just doesn’t seem quite right, but time will tell.

Maxx on May 31, 2007 at 6:08 PM

So how long until I get my interactive wall t.v.?

Nonfactor on May 31, 2007 at 6:12 PM

Imagine turning on a Cubs game and the computer determines this, brings up player stats, instant replays…

Right Tracker on May 31, 2007 at 5:32 PM

Good news! This is already available if you have Windows Vista Home Premium and use the SportsLounge feature in Windows Media Center–all powered by FOX Sports.com

I hear that next year, SportsLounge will automatically keep track of your Fantasy Football Leagues as long as you have your FFL account on FOX Sports.com

Yes, I know this is all part of the Bill Gates’ New World Order plan to erode our privacy and civil liberties. I also know that this feature in Windows obviously sucks and would work flawlessly if only it was done by Apple and ESPN.

For everyone else: I’ve seen it. I’ve used it. It’s cool.

And Oswald is the only guy that shot JFK.

And Elvis is really dead.

ScottMcC on May 31, 2007 at 6:38 PM

All I know is that when I’m 50 I want to live in a totally electronic world–with hovercars and computers that think for me.

Nonfactor on May 31, 2007 at 7:34 PM

We can use this for electonic Knock Hockey. No longer need the wooden board thing, nor sticks , nor pucks. It will even count off One-A-Hockey Two-A-Hockey.

StuLongIsland on May 31, 2007 at 9:18 PM

Ooh, Yeah. Microsoft! Very original thinking there. They are way ahead of the rest.

Egfrow on June 1, 2007 at 4:01 AM