Carbine or carburetor?

Similar results, actually.

Plus, studies have shown that nine out of ten have no idea how to clean a carb.

Carbine or carburetor?

Another good outstanding one by Mr. Hawk. :)

11. Dallas Morning News, 411,919, down 14.3 percent

Wow, I knew they were down, but not that much. I did not renew my subscription this time around, and I guess many others chose not to also.

The Pulitzer Prize winning 5-part “Roots of Shame” turnip cancer investigation

and

On behalf of the entire Claxon-Ledger team, I would like to apologize for the embarrasing “Roots of Shame” incident in which we published a story incorrectly linking turnips to cancer. In our defense, “tuber” and “tumor” do sound very similar over the phone.

Good Evening ladies and gentlemen and all ships at sea!

This just keeps getting funnier every time I read it!

And the subscription costs! Hilarious!

Our “Cathode Ray of Death” series showed how excessive blog reading is linked to leukemia and the ebola virus.

Remember: every time you click on the internet, a professional journalist cries.

Notable quote that had me in stitches! I wonder which paper? /snarc

For some of us, there’s something about the feel of a newsprint in both hands. I hesitate to call it “romantic” — maybe “tactile” is a better word.

The newspaper will not die, just the lousy ones. Things could be worse.

Foshizzle!

And did you know what phone number we found on that list? 746-555-7314. Does it ring any bells? It should. It’s your cell phone.

Reply:

You know what you can do with your threat – help Cheryl Crow out with that ‘one sheet’ challenge. When whores harbor lists of whores and their clients, there is no threat, as they sympathize with each other. Your boss was leaving the room, when I entered it, btw.

p.s. I don’t have a wife any more, anyway. Go f**k yourselves.