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Iranian TV reviews Revenge of the Sith

posted at 7:35 pm on May 1, 2007 by Bryan
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Wacky genocidal mullahs + Hollywood has-been hack = match made in heaven!

After watching this review of Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith from Iranian TV, George Lucas sighed. “Finally, a reviewer who understands the film. Allahu akhbar!”

Click on the image to head over to the video.

Sith


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I’m not sure if your comment was meant in sarcasm, but I think Lucas would agree with this review, actually.

Isn’t the actual moral that the jedi’s were so complacent that they let themselves be destroyed from within? I think you could make valid points either way.

Still 1-3 sucked. :P

lorien1973 on May 1, 2007 at 7:47 PM

I’m not sure if your comment was meant in sarcasm, but I think Lucas would agree with this review, actually.

Isn’t the actual moral that the jedi’s were so complacent that they let themselves be destroyed from within? I think you could make valid points either way.

Still 1-3 sucked. :P

lorien1973 on May 1, 2007 at 7:47 PM

This is a Hollywood flick. Iranian TV temporarily suspended Jewmania.

laelaps on May 1, 2007 at 7:48 PM

The sad thing is that this film criticism is entirely accurate re Lucas’s intention. Has anyone seen the full prequel trilogy? The original dispute begins because members of the alliance refuse to pay higher taxes. In other words small government fanatics plunge the galaxy into intergalactic war. Damn those Republicans!

aengus on May 1, 2007 at 7:48 PM

I’m not being sarcastic. Lucas would probably love the review.

Bryan on May 1, 2007 at 7:49 PM

The original dispute begins because members of the alliance refuse to pay higher taxes.

I thought the dispute started cuz Jar Jar was a moron, right? In episode 2 (I think), Jar Jar votes the wrong way or something and that causes Palpatine to gain more control over the senate.

So another moral is, don’t let people vote in the senate that can’t speak straight. Sounds like democrats to me :P

lorien1973 on May 1, 2007 at 7:52 PM

It’s always a beautiful scary thing when leftist propaganda meets Iranian propaganda.

eforhan on May 1, 2007 at 7:54 PM

Funny thing is the in interviews about the parallels between current events, Lucas (who is very left wing) noted the similarities between the “death of democracy” statements in the movie with what in his left wing opinion is the case now.

Lucas and the Iranians are both similaraly insane.

P. James Moriarty on May 1, 2007 at 7:54 PM

As long as we are drawing parallels between contemporary American political figures and Stars Wars characters…
Is it just me? Or does Rosie O’Donnell truly bear some resemblance to Jabba the Hut?

CyberCipher on May 1, 2007 at 8:00 PM

Brian Godawa, screenwriter(To End all Wars) and Christian wrote an analysis of this movie, here’s parts of it:

Overall cool concept of the analogy with Hitler’s Germany, the story replicates how Hitler, seized power to make Germany his empire while being a Chancellor with emergency powers. Order 66: the execution of all the Emperor’s enemies and Jedis was a reflection of the Night of the Long Knives in 1934 when Hitler killed his questionable enemies in the SA and elsewhere. Okay, I liked that analogy. Battles: Boring. Especially when they are fighting droids, who are merely little machines. There is no seriousness to destroying machines, no human element to make it scary. Unforgivable inconsistent philosophy: Obi Wan tells Anakin to go ahead and deal with the senate because, “I’m not brave enough for politics. I have to report to the counsel (of Jedi).” And what, may I ask, is a counsel of Jedis, BUT A FREAKIN’ POLITICAL BODY that is just as political as the Senate?! And all in the same sentence is this contradiction. Unforgivable, it is. When the “turned” Anakin says to Obi Wan, in an obvious reference to Jesus, “you are either for me or against me,” Obi says, “Only a Sith deals in absolutes.” But then a few minutes later, Obi tells Anakin the “Chancellor is evil.” Oh? Well, Mr. supposed-to-be-wise-man, if there are no absolutes, then how can you call the Chancellor evil? Are you a Sith now? Actually, Anakin responds with a good line that reveals the dark side as Relativistic: “From my point of view, the Jedi are evil.” I think this is great. The evil side are postmoderns and relativistic. The bad guy even says the Jedi are “narrow minded and dogmatic, we must study all sides of the force to understand the bigger picture.” Yeah! All you relativists and pomos out there are victims of the dark side. Na na na na! But then Lucas contradicts himself because to be dogmatic, as he says the Jedi are, is to be absolutistic, which is what Obi said the Sith were. Sheesh! Stop the pain! But the contradictions don’t stop. More Buddhist B.S. occurs when Anakin is told by a Jedi that “Fear of loss is a path to the dark side. Attachment leads to jealousy, Let go of everything you fear to lose.” This Eastern style philosophy of detachment is what makes the East so cruel and heartless to pain and suffering. They fight against compassion, you know the kind of thing that Jesus said we should have with the suffering. But instead this “detachment” makes Eastern culture into a barbaric cruelty to those who suffer, by ignoring them, and avoiding the attachment that love brings to the object of affection. This is why Eastern monks are so heartless and uncompassionate. They cannot make true human connection because that would be attachment. This is definitely the philosophy of Hollywood celebrity. The Eastern worldview is soulless and cruel. Here is a great ridiculous line that telegraphs the poor philosophy that this whole mythology is about. When Obi can’t find someone he is looking for, Yoda tells him, “Use your feelings, and find him, you will.” Well, obviously the line should be “use the Force.” So we see that the Force really is just a metaphor for your feelings. Once again, follow your heart, not an absolute objective truth. Let your feelings rule you. Well, I’ve got to stop. I’ve already given this blog way too much time on this unworthy movie.

I’m sure Lucas would agree with the bush-hitler analogy and the Mullah’s view.

jp on May 1, 2007 at 8:10 PM

Well leave it to “Ali-wood” to finally give us those accurate reviews.

al-Roeper and al-Ebert give it “two beheaded infidels up!”

JetBoy on May 1, 2007 at 8:32 PM

Wow…it’s really not that clear until an Iranian explains it to you in Farsi.

Verbal Abuse on May 1, 2007 at 8:42 PM

Now I know why the Iranians are always so pissed off. They don’t get movies for three whole years after they’re released in the US

Shivv on May 1, 2007 at 8:53 PM

Reading into a film for a political message? Shucks, someone has too much time on their hands, and you know what that means: Idle hands are the devils work.

I read too much into that movie by Monty Python’s The Holy Grail:
Camelot! Camelot! it’s only a model, HUSH UP!
Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Bloody Peasant!

Now that’s controversy…

Kini on May 1, 2007 at 8:54 PM

بوته Bush

آشفتگی Derangement

نشانگان Syndrome

Mazztek on May 1, 2007 at 9:14 PM

I am not going to watch the review because I haven’t seen the film and don’t want to spoil the surprise ending.

O-kay, I lied. I do know how it ends even though I haven’t seen it. :)

Bob's Kid on May 1, 2007 at 9:39 PM

Finally someone gets George Lucas’ subtle flim-making abilites!

ZRyan on May 1, 2007 at 9:48 PM

I enjoyed Sith, but not as much as Empire. Plenty of cool in Sith.

I don’t know, but I figure there are way more inconsistencies in the prequel trilogy than Obi and Anakin trading bon mots about morals and such.

Besides, it’s pretty clear the Jedi are a bunch of feebs as they let one guy and his apprentice take over the entire Galaxy right under their noses. How could you not see it? It’s right there!

Absolutism and Relativism be damned, they had a Clone army that was manufactured on the orders of a guy who died 10 years prior. They didn’t bother following up on what happened there. I mean, come on. COME ON. Would you trust a mytserious clone army, made from the DNA of the most ruthless bounty hunter in the galaxy simply because someone claimed they were ordered by the Jedi council? Yoda had no idea what was going on, but he’s all “good, this is! an army we have! Questions we will not ask!”

Also, “I’ll try spinning, that’s a good trick”. One last thing, Han shoots first.

Krydor on May 1, 2007 at 9:50 PM

Damned dumb movie for goddamned dumb country.

Perfect match, it is.

Is that a lightsaber in your chador or you just glad to Simi?

Lucas was taken over by the Purse.

And became a prisoner of the Effects.

It killed his sense of humor somewhere along the way.

The true sign of the Dark Slide.

profitsbeard on May 1, 2007 at 10:10 PM

I’m sure the Iranians thought it was just great at the end of the first trilogy when Darth got to go to Jedi Heaven and his 72 virgins after genociding a whole planet – just because he got tired of watching the Emperor zap his boy (a royal pussy in his own right, by the way) with those lightning bolts from his uncut fingernails.

moc23 on May 1, 2007 at 10:26 PM

Star Trek was salvation through technology. Star Wars was salvation through mysticism. Islam is salvation through murder and mayhem (it’s in the Koran).

I’ll bet the decapitation scene was a real turn-on for the mullahs.

Mojave Mark on May 1, 2007 at 10:56 PM

The most fascinating part of the Sith movie for me was the clones. They’re treated fairly dismissively by Lucas but there have been a couple of Star Wars universe novels written about them; how they interact with each other; how they feel about fighting a war in which they have no stake. The author explores their treatment by the citizens of the Republic (little better than droids; referred to by some as ‘meat cans’.) In the novels I’ve read, the author is addressing the early days of the war, before the betrayal of the Jedi.
The movie came out during one of the ebb/flows of the stem cell debate. I thought it was a rather good moral situation to present to someone; would you support the cloning of someone to force grow them into a military force, with no rights outside of basic comfort? The movie itself was tedious. Lucas has got all the passion of a box of whoopee cushions. The casting of Anakin Skywalker was awful. His fall to the darkside was more of a hokey pokey. His onscreen chemistry with Padme was nonexistent; The potential this movie had…wasted. I had more fun watching the dweebs who came to the theater in costume than the movie. I need to cleanse my mental palate of this Lucas taint. Big Trouble in Little China here I come.

austinnelly on May 1, 2007 at 11:18 PM

The Iranian review is spot-on. The new “Star Wars” trilogy, in addition to being crappy, was a ham-handed anti-American screed. (Though not without a withering dose of hypocrisy; the political statement was a distant secondary goal. Making as much money as possible for Lucas via merchandising was always far and away the highest priority. I suspect the biggest difference between Lucas and Palpatine is that, if he tried, Palpatine would probably be able to direct a better film.)

The only thing remarkable about any of this is that here we have concrete evidence of a piece of Hollywood propaganda being actively used as such by an actual beligerent nation. I’ve little doubt Hollywood’s more virulent garbage fills this role frequently, but this is the first time I’ve actually seen it documented.

Blacklake on May 1, 2007 at 11:33 PM

I remember reading about 6 years ago how the entire Star Wars trilogy was supposed to be a microcosm of World War 2.

Nonfactor on May 2, 2007 at 12:52 AM

When Sith came out movie critic Michael Medved complained it was an anti-Bush film, and he got lambasted for it. As for me, I chose to see the movie for the sake of it being a movie. I enjoyed the three pre-quels for the sake of enjoying the films. I did notice the wooden acting between Annakin and Padme in the second film, but I still liked the movie as a whole. I do find the original trilogy to be the better of the two, but I’d see the second trilogy again and again.

However, I do agree: Jar-Jar Binks bites the big one!

hadsil on May 2, 2007 at 2:25 AM

Whatever point anyone else thinks Lucas had in mind, there are some points that can be applied.

1. When a government official asks for more power than the current laws provide for, SAY NO.

2. The less centralized government is, the better. Federalism works.

3. Relativism is ALWAYS WRONG, because it lets anyone make any decision for any reason, and pretend to claim it was proper.

4. Dogmatism is NOT ALWAYS RIGHT. It just depends on which book you’re reading, and if you’re reading it correctly.

Freelancer on May 2, 2007 at 3:14 AM

I did notice the wooden acting between Annakin Mannequin and Padme in the second film, but I still liked the movie as a whole.

hadsil on May 2, 2007 at 2:25 AM

Fixed.

James on May 2, 2007 at 7:31 AM

Firstly, I swear honestly about this: In higschool, a couple of friends and me were scribbling during lunch hour our favorite scenes from TESB. Offhandedly, I scribbled what I then called a laser staff( a two bladed lightsaber). We chuckled and agreed it was impractical to wield effectively. You can imagine my years later, jaw dropping excitement when Darth Maul was fantabulously taking on two Jedis. I still consider Maul one of the best elements of the first trilogy. Despite the lucas agenda plots I still enjoy watching the first trilogy and appreciate the soundtracks. Side note- Killing off Maul, Boba Fett and Mace is just plain wrong.

Secondly, MojaveMark mentioned how salvation was achieved in both ST & ST. I am curious about Babylon 5 because I vividly remember a final scene in which Sinclair was greeting several alien clerics. I thought Delenn was a constant reminder of faith even though it was alien Minbari faith.

Finally, Austinnelly- “May the wings of liberty never lose a feather.” ::holds up the ‘L’ sign before it meant loser.

allie on May 2, 2007 at 10:25 AM

The prequel trilogy can be pretty entertaining if you don’t think too much, but you could drive a truck through the plot holes. Lucas tried to create a mythology that just dosen’t work, like say Lord of the rings, which is pretty much a fully formed mythology. You can tell Lucas just made stuff up as he went along, and yes, ROTS was an anti-American screed, but it looks really bitchin’.

bmac on May 2, 2007 at 3:45 PM

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