Lileks poops in Lake Wobegon

posted at 5:56 pm on April 30, 2007 by see-dubya

Top notch Bleat from Lileks today. There’s a memorable slam at brutal architecture: “No other building material demonstrates contempt for people more than exposed concrete.”

But the good stuff is further down, about a column by the faux-penitent Garrison Keillor, who now bravely admits that the Left’s appeasement of communism in the 1940′s and 50′s was more about peevitating anti-communists than dealing with reality. It was more fun to protest McCarthyism, Keillor admits, than to acknowledge that Communism was illiberal, malignant, and a genuine threat:

This refusal was a reaction against anti-communists such as Richard Nixon — if he said the sun rose in the east, then we would look off to the west and maybe build mirrors there so as to be able to argue the point

And then, something sad happens: because the Left was deluded about the threat of Communism in the fifties, Keillor realizes that…the Right must be deluded today! Of course!

Much worth reading at the link; but I couldn’t help but notice this litany Lileks had excerpted from Keillor’s latest book, whatever that is:

(As he puts it in his latest book: “hairy-backed swamp developers and corporate shills, faith-based economists, see-through fundamentalist bullies with Bibles, Christians of convenience, freelance racists, hobby cops, misanthropic frat boys, lizardskin cigar monkeys, jerktown romeos, ninja dittoheads, the shrieking midgets of AM radio, tax cheats, cheese merchants, cat stranglers, taxi dancers, grab-ass executives, gun fetishists, genteel pornographers, pill pushers, chronic nappers, nihilists in golf pants, backed-up Baptists, Crips and Bloods of the boardroom.”)

It sounded familiar, but not quite–and I remembered he had tried that same Right-is-bad litany back in this ugly rant from 2004:

The party of Lincoln and Liberty was transmogrified into the party of hairy-backed swamp developers and corporate shills, faith-based economists, fundamentalist bullies with Bibles, Christians of convenience, freelance racists, misanthropic frat boys, shrieking midgets of AM radio, tax cheats, nihilists in golf pants, brownshirts in pinstripes, sweatshop tycoons, hacks, fakirs, aggressive dorks, Lamborghini libertarians, people who believe Neil Armstrong’s moonwalk was filmed in Roswell, New Mexico, little honkers out to diminish the rest of us, Newt’s evil spawn and their Etch-A-Sketch president, a dull and rigid man suspicious of the free flow of information and of secular institutions, whose philosophy is a jumble of badly sutured body parts trying to walk.

I’m not sure which is supposed to be the polished version, but I sure hope Keillor didn’t drop “Lamborghini Libertarians” in favor of “chronic nappers” and “cheese merchants”.

Because if by “cheese merchants” Keillor does not intend to target literal purveryors of fromage, but is in fact bashing people who traffic in cheesy programming,well… tu quoque, amigo. Tu quoque.

UPDATE: At least one blog has already taken its name from Keillor’s blatherings.


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Garrison Keillor is too ugly for radio.

Prarie Home Companion sucks BTW. God, can’t stand that program.

Bad Candy on April 30, 2007 at 5:58 PM

chronic nappers

He’s been spying on me.

Man he is one ugly mofo. yikes.

Bad Penny on April 30, 2007 at 6:06 PM

Scratching my head…….Roswell, NM….Spock truthers……
can’t say I met any Lincoln party members wearing that tin foil hat. Hairy-backed swamp developers I’ll give him, but not Roswell.

Limerick on April 30, 2007 at 6:10 PM

Hey, what the?

I’m the Bad Guy around here!

Heh, I’m kidding, there’s room for two Dread Pirate Roberts, so there’s room for more’n one Bad (whatever)

Anyway, Keillor reveals too much when he writes what he wrote, he is symptomatic of the left itself, and Lileks put some light on it. Liberals need to be careful and never admit the truth, or else they get embarrassed by the blatantly obvious, revealed by their own hand.

Bad Candy on April 30, 2007 at 6:12 PM

Keillor could have substituted “George Bush” for “Richard Nixon” and he would have perfectly described Bush Derangement Syndrome.

angler on April 30, 2007 at 6:16 PM

Lamborghini libertarians!

Can I change your screen name?

AtomicAmish on April 30, 2007 at 6:20 PM

That photo of Keillor is a picture of what hate does to the soul.

infidel4life on April 30, 2007 at 6:24 PM

Right readable entry for a “blah” day, Lileks. Umm, hope you stay in the dumps a while longer…

Keillor displays contrition over an emotion-based political position of the past, and immediately follows up with an emotion-based political position in the present. Santayana rolls over once for you, Garrison.

Freelancer on April 30, 2007 at 6:28 PM

GREGORY: Well, obviously, this is not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.

Obvious!

TBinSTL on April 30, 2007 at 6:36 PM

I remembered this from Sept 1st, 2004. I wrote at the time:

“Hmmm…….it doesn’t sound like me. Lets see, a developer, no…a christian of convience….no. I’m not a frat boy or a tax cheat. I know no midgets, radio hosts or otherwise. I’m not a racist. I don’t wear brown or pinstripes (ewww). I don’t play golf. I don’t own a lamborghini. Ok, I might be an aggressive dork. But I really do believe we went to the moon. And I’m pretty sure the world thinks we are wealthy and strong. don’t you just hate misconceptions? umm…ok….delusions.”

You gotta wonder, if Keillor can admit to being wrong about Joe McCarthy, then maybe one day he will admit he was wrong about us too.

Rightwingsparkle on April 30, 2007 at 6:40 PM

Keillor is an idiot.

Woebegone stupidity.

JammieWearingFool on April 30, 2007 at 6:41 PM

That pic is just priceless, See-Dubya…

The Ugly American on April 30, 2007 at 6:44 PM

Just look what happened after we left Vietnam–the Communists came here just like the Republicans said they would.

Nonfactor on April 30, 2007 at 6:51 PM

Thanks, UA. I saw that and thought, yeah, he looks alarmed, I should go with the poop headline.

I’m having way too much fun with the pictures and sluglines. I’d like to give readers an incentive to click the Hot Air homepage–and load the banner ads–rather than just read through an RSS reader. it’s a shame the pictures and sluglines disappear as the posts scroll off the page.

see-dubya on April 30, 2007 at 6:54 PM

Looks like the portrait of Dorian Keillor.

daveintexas on April 30, 2007 at 7:07 PM

Let us sum up progress, then….

Ouch.

Kralizec on April 30, 2007 at 8:13 PM

This refusal was a reaction against anti-communists terrorists such as Richard Nixon George Bush — if he said the sun rose in the east, then we would look off to the west and maybe build mirrors there so as to be able to argue the point

There. I updated it for the Garrison and his wacky lib friends.

Mallard T. Drake on April 30, 2007 at 8:20 PM

Just look what happened after we left Vietnam–the Communists came here just like the Republicans said they would.

Nonfactor

Noncomposmentis,

Actually, the so-called Domino Theory was popularized by the Democratic administrations of Kennedy and Johnson. It was Johnson, a Democrat, who significantly increased US troop strength in Vietnam.

However, the Domino Theory never postulated that the Commies would take over America. It held that if a strong position wasn’t taken in Vietnam then a string of countries in Southeast Asia (and possibly the SW Pacific) would be sequentially fall to the communists. That Cambodia and Laos did go communist (Khmer Rouge, Pathet Lao) is some evidence of the accuracy of the DT. The fact is that by standing up to communist aggression in S. Vietnam we may very well have stalled the red advance. The war in Vietnam cost the US 58,000 lives and massive treasure, but it wasn’t cheap for the USSR and the PRoC either.

rokemronnie on April 30, 2007 at 8:26 PM

Is it my imagination, or has Keillor just become more mean-looking over the past few years? He always looks like he’s scowling and uncomfortable, as if someone around him is always passing wind and he can’t step away from the smell long enough.

Gottafang on April 30, 2007 at 8:47 PM

….. and I give a rat’s a”s what this guy’s opinion is?

Hate, always rises to the surface, nice look, hope you enjoy it, see you on the beach with the hotties…..

PinkyBigglesworth on April 30, 2007 at 9:17 PM

Lamborghini libertarians?

What about Ferrari freemarketeers?

Maserati merchant bankers?

Lambos are way cool (though their US marketing folks are arrogant pricks), and Ferraris are, well, Ferraris, but I’d rather be Aston Martin affluent.

The DB9 is one of the most beautiful cars ever built. Right up there with Raymond Loewy’s ’53 Studebaker Coupe.

rokemronnie on April 30, 2007 at 9:28 PM

He writes like a grade school-level Ambrose Beirce cum ankle-biter with delusions of Twainism.

Back to woe.

Begone.

profitsbeard on April 30, 2007 at 9:52 PM

Keilor is stll pissed that Jesse Ventura didn’t run for a second term. That pissant (keilor) only had one break from the same lame, monotonous drone that he calls “stories” and that was when he was defecating on the Navy seals. Every show was a slam against Ventura, the USN, Seals, and other Milatary proffesionals.

The only thing exceptional about the children in his fictional “lake woebegone” is their ugliness, and the fact that the mental midget escaped from somones bad acid trip to get his own radio show.

Wyrd on April 30, 2007 at 10:31 PM

C-Dub, you are as close as probably exists as a viable substitute for the irreplaceable Allah, which is very high praise. But the master would not, I submit, have failed to excerpt the most astonishing and telling graph from that remarkable Lileks essay:

It’s interesting: in his review of his own side’s history, he shows how domestic political considerations drove out the ability to recognize greater evils abroad. I ask, as gently as I can: Might the same instinct be abroad in the land today?

Wow. Now that’s a wordsmith.

I say all this knowing that my own response to my daily read of Lileks missed this entire topic, somehow thinking that after the wonderful riff on architecture and the decline of art, he couldn’t possibly have another masterpiece the same day. So I skipped the bottom topic, headed off to work and missed a superb, understated evisceration. Thanks for picking up on it.

Splunge on April 30, 2007 at 11:08 PM

The big story was taking place in Russia and Eastern Europe, in China, and in Cuba, places where evil ruled with an open hand, but a great many Democrats refused to see it.

I was born into it and lived it. And it still goes on today in parts of the world. The forces against freedom are incredibly strong. And our ‘progressives’ are just as blind, ideological, adversarial and hypocritical. This is why I despise them so. I’m not a registered republican but I will never vote for the lefties. They are simply enablers of freedom’s slavery.

Entelechy on May 1, 2007 at 12:01 AM

Prarie Home Companion sucks BTW. God, can’t stand that program.

Garrison Keillor may be politicall “misguided” (to be generous), but I think Prairie Home Companion is some of the best radio to be found anywhere.

DaveS on May 1, 2007 at 12:04 AM

Prarie Home Companion sucks BTW. God, can’t stand that program.

I’m with you on that – and not just because I despise Keillor.

Stupid Radio! Be more funny!

Lehuster on May 1, 2007 at 6:21 AM

shrieking midgets of AM radio

Yeah, I hate those guys. They wouldn’t even be on the air if it weren’t for the government-mandated taxpayer-funded life support that pays their bills for them and gives them a soapbox.

P.S. I’m gonna have to fess up as a chronic napper, ’cause nothing else comes close. Nihilist maybe, but in Old Navy cargo pants.

saint kansas on May 1, 2007 at 8:28 AM

Splunge on April 30, 2007 at 11:08 PM

The Chicago Tribune carries this nitwit’s column, along with various other leftists and race hustlers and — somehow — Victor Davis Hanson. I never read him, as a matter of principle, but some word caught my eye the day this column came out, so I took a gander.

It was a remarkable admission, coming from this otherwise bitter, angry, unreconstructed 1960s liberal. He basically said “By golly, Ann Coulter is Right!” It was the single most conservative thing I have read on their Op/Ed page in years. I absolutely cannot wait to take his words and shove them up some liberal’s tailpipe sometime soon.

Jaibones on May 1, 2007 at 10:13 AM

It’s interesting: in his review of his own side’s history, he shows how domestic political considerations drove out the ability to recognize greater evils abroad. I askstate, as gently as I can: Might the same instinct beclearlt is abroad in the land today?

There. I fixed it for him.

IrishEyes on May 1, 2007 at 2:29 PM

Dang. I guess a preview button really is needed.

“The same instinct clearly is abroad in the land today.”

IrishEyes on May 1, 2007 at 2:30 PM