Video: Rosie to Sheryl Crow — one square’s not enough for me
posted at 2:35 pm on April 23, 2007 by Allahpundit
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It’s not often that she’s right, but she’s right. Dear god, is she ever.
The Smoking Gun’s got a copy of Crow’s concert rider demanding parking for her own little portable greenhouse-gas emissions caravan. Serious exit question, as posed in the comments to Friday’s post by my pal Tanya (who’s usually right): Wasn’t Crow kidding about the toilet paper thing? Granted, joking about fanatic environmentalism on a site like HuffPo is like rolling a grenade into your own tent, but one square of toilet paper? For real? Come on.
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In Rosie’s case it would be one very large square.
crosspatch on April 23, 2007 at 2:37 PM
Yep. One toilet roll at a time.
Kokonut on April 23, 2007 at 2:41 PM
Rosie’s TP Rolls
- The Cat
MirCat on April 23, 2007 at 2:42 PM
Nice screencap there to demonstrate Rosie’s inability to effectively implement Crow’s proposal.
Just remember, you’re not exactly dealing with Socrates or Einstein … you’ll find evidence in these quotes.
thirteen28 on April 23, 2007 at 2:43 PM
I just threw up in my mouth. AAARRRRRRRRRGGGG!
BacaDog on April 23, 2007 at 2:43 PM
P.S. “I’ll do the safe one, you do the other.” If ever she told the truth . .
MirCat on April 23, 2007 at 2:44 PM
Barnum & Baily doesn’t make a CIRCUS TENT big enough to cleanse the back side of that registered Holstein.
mountainmanbob on April 23, 2007 at 2:45 PM
I swear I just got sick I imagined that Rosie was refuring to something OTHER than TP in that photo.
William Amos on April 23, 2007 at 2:47 PM
I thought maybe she was joking about the TP, but then she comes out with the dining sleeve thing to save paper napkins.
If she’s said she was joking, I haven’t heard it yet.
see-dubya on April 23, 2007 at 2:49 PM
I agree with her, wow
Defector01 on April 23, 2007 at 2:51 PM
ATTN ROSIE: Here you go.
see-dubya on April 23, 2007 at 2:53 PM
So, does Cheryl and her band use ‘dining sleeves’ in their
Heck, I bet her caravan of extravagant dressing rooms, 3 tractor-trailers, 4 buses, and 6 cars?uses more gas in one mile than I do all year.
mojojojo on April 23, 2007 at 2:55 PM
Well ya know, if you think about it, Soylent Green could be good for the environment on many different levels.
- The Cat
P.S. That thought was spawned from thinking of a really bad joke about saving napkins, but like Sheryl’s stringy self turns my stomach.
MirCat on April 23, 2007 at 2:55 PM
grrr. messed up the html… just click the link…
mojojojo on April 23, 2007 at 2:55 PM
So, does Cheryl and her band use ‘dining sleeves’ in their extravagant dressing rooms?
Heck, I bet her caravan of , 3 tractor-trailers, 4 buses, and 6 cars?uses more gas in one mile than I do all year.
Maybe this time I got it right…
mojojojo on April 23, 2007 at 2:58 PM
A thousand sheets, quadruple-ply.
JammieWearingFool on April 23, 2007 at 2:58 PM
“I think war is based in greed and there are huge karmic retributions that will follow. I think war is never the answer to solving any problems. The best way to solve problems is to not have enemies.”
-Sheryl Crow
“Artists have really never had any representation on Capitol Hill, because it’s not the nature of the artist to join together and make a unified presence. Those days kind of died in the ’60s.”
-Sheryl Crow
I think those two quotations sum up the left’s mentality fairly well nowadays. She should stay away from jokes that alienate her base… don’t screw with people’s TP, lady.
Wineaholic on April 23, 2007 at 2:58 PM
Thank goodness our current leaders still seek out the advice of people with educations and some real world experience related to the matters on which they speak.
Now when the Dems take over and Kucinich had his Dept of Peace with Cindy Sheehan and they take enviromental advice from Al Gore high up in his Gulfstream overlooking the matter, well then we might be in trouble.
/or not
LakeRuins on April 23, 2007 at 3:01 PM
Was she serious, I think so. Her activism knows no bouunds
Theworldisnotenough on April 23, 2007 at 3:01 PM
Is Rosie showing the size of one square or … just asking
Wade on April 23, 2007 at 3:02 PM
She said you could always also use the dining sleeve thing as a snot rag.
Wade on April 23, 2007 at 3:05 PM
Yes Ms Crow was serious. She was there with a member of some other enviromental group and they were pestering the heck out of Carl Rove.
Try to imagine them doing the same thing to an advisor of say Kim Jung Il or President Tom of iran
LakeRuins on April 23, 2007 at 3:05 PM
Okay, this is gross. Imagine how much water and soap it will take to wash the dinner sleeves. Now, throw in how much water and soap will be used to wash out the “skid marks” after using one piece of TP.
BobK on April 23, 2007 at 3:11 PM
Exit only, stage left!
Kini on April 23, 2007 at 3:13 PM
These people are morons, but I have to ask a serious question (which I almost never do).
Assume China and India don’t cooperate in fighting global warming. What do the Gore-ite proponents think we Americans would have to do alone to prevent the supposed ill effects of GW? Surely one square of TP, a bunch of fluorescent bulbs, and all hybrids aren’t enough. Do we have take ourselves back to the stone age, to commit mass suicide, or what? If the proponents won’t specify, the skeptics should explain so the unwashed masses like me can judge.
Attila (Pillage Idiot) on April 23, 2007 at 3:16 PM
Okay,
I’ve done my part to help.
-T
The Therapist on April 23, 2007 at 3:20 PM
Attila
Liberals may be willing to wage war to stop global warming. Forget the oxymoron it presents but it is just the sort of thing they would support.
LakeRuins on April 23, 2007 at 3:21 PM
Intolerance against wide loads.
Scrow.
What a ‘hater’
locomotivebreath1901 on April 23, 2007 at 3:24 PM
How many forests have died to keep her thinking end clear?
Hening on April 23, 2007 at 3:24 PM
Rosie should stick to comedy. That was funny as #ell.
csdeven on April 23, 2007 at 3:27 PM
Rosie has the 1,200 psi Bidet. She should share it with Crow. Now that makes a horrendous visual!!
Child In Time on April 23, 2007 at 3:28 PM
Hahaha!
MirCat on April 23, 2007 at 3:31 PM
Washing out one square of toilet paper?
Tanya on April 23, 2007 at 3:31 PM
I’m glad I watched the video. At first I thought it was a screen-cap of Rosie bragging about the size of something.
natesnake on April 23, 2007 at 3:34 PM
Rosie asks, “have you seen my ass?” Uh yeah, better get the jumbo roll….
soulsirkus on April 23, 2007 at 3:35 PM
Attila, I’ve used that arguement up here in Canada. Thirty million Canucks are somehow supposed to stop global warming when you have 1.3 BILLION Chinese and another Billion Indians polluting. Doesn’t China open up a new coal mine every week or so?
Canadian Infidel on April 23, 2007 at 3:42 PM
When I first read about this, I did think it might be a Swiftesque tongue-in-cheek “Modest Proposal.” Especially when I read the part about Crow’s brother suggesting that people wash the single squares of TP and (presumably) use them again. But, lo, it would seem Ms. Crow is totally cereal. She’s a raving loon, and she means it when she says stuff like this.
The consensus at other blogs seems to be that Sheryl should be elected the enforcer of this new law: the head of the Butt Patrol. Should be easy to avoid members of this elite brigade, though, as we will be able to smell them coming long before they catch us using two or more squares.
aero on April 23, 2007 at 3:43 PM
When Crowe gets a colostomy then Ill buy her commitment to this cause.
Viper1 on April 23, 2007 at 3:43 PM
Um, didn’t Sheryl Crow sell the use of one of her songs to Subaru to help them push their carbon-spewing global warming machines?
Maybe Charmin will license one of her tracks next.
saint kansas on April 23, 2007 at 3:48 PM
First, I would challenge the assumption.
http://www.csmonitor.com/2007/0308/p08s02-comv.html
http://in.today.reuters.com/news/newsArticle.aspx?type=topNews&storyID=2007-03-30T094502Z_01_NOOTR_RTRJONC_0_India-292652-1.xml
Secondly, if the US decides to commit to this, the US should lead the effort. You remember leadership don’t you……
honora on April 23, 2007 at 3:49 PM
No, but I did see a large donkey pressed flat into the asphalt in her driveway.
saint kansas on April 23, 2007 at 3:50 PM
I don’t know what to think!
Allahpundit on April 23, 2007 at 3:56 PM
Somehow, I’m reminded of the movie “Demolition Man” with Sylvester Stallone and Sandra Bullock and the “three seashells” method!
kevcad on April 23, 2007 at 4:00 PM
Think this: Reusable Toilet Paper
I wonder how much they sell.
- The Cat
MirCat on April 23, 2007 at 4:03 PM
For the first time in a long time, I find myself agreeing with Rosie O.
Matticus Finch on April 23, 2007 at 4:11 PM
I heard she uses a queen-size bed spread to wipe that Buick sized bumper.
Tim Burton on April 23, 2007 at 4:11 PM
Oh, and Sheryl Crow always was a little to ‘earthy’ for my tastes anyway. Although she does a killer “One Less Bell to Answer” on the Burt Bacharach tribute CD.
Matticus Finch on April 23, 2007 at 4:13 PM
I’m in a Toastmasters Club where someone gave a speech on Water, and she researched that Water usage in the United States has gone down DRAMATICALLY over the past 20 years or so. One of the reasons being that the toilets flush only 1.5 gallons instead of the old 6 gallons. But there were more reasons too, although I forget them.
Of course, those kinds of facts don’t square with the doom and gloom of the left, so one wouldn’t know about that unless they were researching something like that.
The other solution instead of toilet paper is to use bidets, but I imagine that would be quite an undertaking in our country to convert to that.
asc85 on April 23, 2007 at 4:15 PM
The fact that it’s reusable is bad enough; I visited the site for shits and giggles (so to speak); come to find out it’s customizable. Gotta love marketing.
honora on April 23, 2007 at 4:16 PM
You must understand that the effete elite liberal does not evacuate the way we prols do. On the occasions when they are forced to release their anal treasures, hosts of angels rejoice with trump and choir. The veil of heaven peels back to reveal armies of rosy cherubs who, giggling, then descend throuugh the universal splendor to daintilly dab the brilliant splendor of these great minds hienies. Acsending skyward the precious morsels are enshrined with flames of eternal glory as they fill the heavens with their exquisite effluvium.
The one square is only for the door nob.
ronsfi on April 23, 2007 at 4:16 PM
Bella Vista huh? My old home town.
R D on April 23, 2007 at 4:17 PM
Just out of curiosity, just what group or groups do you think pushed for the reduced H2O toilet tanks?
honora on April 23, 2007 at 4:21 PM
Ronsfi-
Comic Gold. Funniest I’ve read in a long time.
Matticus Finch on April 23, 2007 at 4:21 PM
Thank you for confirming my suspicions, ronsfi. I was sure this must be the case.
aero on April 23, 2007 at 4:23 PM
Admittedly, you make an excellent point. I regret to say that I have no rebuttal.
asc85 on April 23, 2007 at 4:24 PM
The same ones that make me have to flush four times. Of course, I do eat a lot of Tex Mex.
But I do save H2O by peeing off the back porch at night.
Matticus Finch on April 23, 2007 at 4:24 PM
Take heart, I will give you many, many more chances!!
;^)
honora on April 23, 2007 at 4:30 PM
TMI! Waaaaaay TMI!!!!
honora on April 23, 2007 at 4:31 PM
Cha cha cha! The cartoon bears in the Charmin commercials definitely used more than “1″ Square.
kiakjones on April 23, 2007 at 4:31 PM
Oh. My. God.
That’s just…so wrong. You’d have to do laundry every single day, wouldn’t you? I mean, even in plastic bags, I would NOT want those things sitting around stinking up the house!!! How is doing laundry every single day environmentally friendly?! And you couldn’t pay me enough to be the laundry person after the family’s been out to eat Tex-Mex.
Plus, did you notice that the “Premium” wipes have suede on one side? A chamoix for your a**. I can’t imagine that greenies like the idea of killing animals for the sake of having a softer, “premium” a**-wiper.
And why bother with all the “fun prints” and designs? They’re all going to be a universal brown after the first week anyway, right?
Ew. Just ew.
aero on April 23, 2007 at 4:31 PM
Yeah, we’re leading the war, and look how well we’re being followed. Even domestically.
Attila (Pillage Idiot) on April 23, 2007 at 4:34 PM
Of course the bears use more than one square! Charmin’s part of the Evil Corporate Empire, remember? They want us to use an arm’s-length of TP every single time so they can sell more toilet paper. Duh! Screw the globe, there’s money to be made!!! Or something like that. I have a hard time speaking Green.
aero on April 23, 2007 at 4:35 PM
Oh, she was, and it is.
drjohn on April 23, 2007 at 4:38 PM
Well, not to be picky, if you’re not being followed, you really aren’t leading, right? Or not leading very effectively.
Number one rule of any sort of leadership training I’ve attended over the years–if you and the people you are supposed to be leading aren’t on the same path, don’t waste time asking yourself if it’s you or if it’s them.
It’s you.
honora on April 23, 2007 at 4:41 PM
Hmmm.
“I’m gonna soak up the……”
drjohn on April 23, 2007 at 4:46 PM
Consider yourself lucky to have toilet paper at all. Otherwise install a bidet and buy some reusable wipes!
kiakjones on April 23, 2007 at 5:03 PM
She’s just one step away from wiping with a rock. Moron!
R D on April 23, 2007 at 5:05 PM
Bidet? Rosie has a firehose!
ronsfi on April 23, 2007 at 5:05 PM
Not all that impressed that Rosie got this right. Some ideas are just too stupid for most people to be wrong on. That look on her face was pretty good, though.
JinxMcHue on April 23, 2007 at 5:05 PM
Monday Gross!
Drtuddle on April 23, 2007 at 5:07 PM
It’s no wonder Lance left her, I’d bet she doesn’t have that quite fresh smell.
R D on April 23, 2007 at 5:07 PM
You know I was joking, right?
Anyone who’s too far left for Rosie has officially fallen off the edge of the Earth.
aero on April 23, 2007 at 5:19 PM
It’s twue, It’s twue! ONE sheet is ENOUGH!….but, you have to be vewy, vewy, careful. You do!
james hooker on April 23, 2007 at 5:20 PM
You think they would sell poop offsets?
Matticus Finch on April 23, 2007 at 5:24 PM
While very carefully using her one sheet, I can hear Sheryl saying “It does offset my vehicle use - it does, it does it does !!!
eeyore on April 23, 2007 at 5:27 PM
Been scratching my head over this business (*sorry*). Traditionally, in America, people used cloth napkins before paper became something cheap and plentiful. Everybody had their napkin in a ring they could identify and used the same one a couple of times if it was reasonable, then they were washed.
Does Crow display her lack of experience with most mid-to nice restaurants that always use cloth napkins? So, what’s with the sleeves? She’s that uncouth?
Perhaps she’s suggesting the Muslim way - a custom adapted out of necessity in the desert, using the left hand for dirty and the right for clean. In Third World countries, squat toilets are the norm or holes or just the side of the road. No paper or cloth avaiable. In an enclosed toilet of sorts, a large-size plastic teapot-shaped water container is filled before one enters the stall, and the water is poured over whatever needs it to be clean.
Of course, Sheryl Crow is forgetting one big thing: the rate of intestinal-born diseases in America thanks to such things as disposable toilet paper and let’s say it, disposable diapers, is a fraction of the rates in countries that don’t have good toilet facilities or toilet-related supplies.
If Crow were to have her brilliant suggestions implemented, we can all look forward to higher incidences of typhoid, dysentery (ameobic & bacterial), hepatitis, even the resurgence of polio since it hasn’t been knocked out as hoped, and so on and so forth.
naliaka on April 23, 2007 at 5:29 PM
They’ll sell any kind of offsets that stupid people would be willing to buy.
I commented on another blog that maybe Crow’s intention with these idiotic and unsanitary ideas is to bring back diseases that would wipe out some portion of the human (particularly American) population, thereby saving the planet by reducing the human scourge on the environment. But she’s not nearly smart enough to hatch such a devious plan.
aero on April 23, 2007 at 5:38 PM
A friend of mine worked for her very briefly back in the day. From what I can gather she was really bad at solving problems.
B Moe on April 23, 2007 at 6:03 PM
Clearly. If her theory is that the way to solve problems is not to have enemies, she just screwed up big time by making an enemy of Rosie’s a** !!!
aero on April 23, 2007 at 6:08 PM
Think this: Reusable Toilet Paper
I wonder how much they sell.
- The Cat
MirCat on April 23, 2007 at 4:03 PM
Can I get these in basic brown for Meatloaf Monday, Tan for Taco Tuesday, etc.?
serenity on April 23, 2007 at 6:21 PM
Rosie is actually funny and personable….when she is not being a deluded moonbat
Resolute on April 23, 2007 at 6:35 PM
lol see that’s funny.
Dash on April 23, 2007 at 6:39 PM
Is the whale describing the size of her blowhole or her a-hole? Probably the same size either way.
roninacreage on April 23, 2007 at 6:41 PM
HOLY CROW, Batman! No wonder Rove didn’t want her to touch him, he was afraid her stupid might be contagious.
silenced majority on April 23, 2007 at 6:55 PM
Well you may “poo poo” the idea but at least she’s “straining” to find an answer.
ronsfi on April 23, 2007 at 7:44 PM
Just give the wackos enough air and they’ll always come up with something that makes the majority of Americans say WTF?
Looks like Sheryl Crow had decided to take the Dixie Chick highway to obscurity. Buh Bye Sheryl.
Buzzy on April 23, 2007 at 8:16 PM
I’d like to suggest a much better solution to Sheryl Crow’s use of only one square of toilet paper as a means of saving the planet from sure disaster.
Instead of toilet paper, we use The New York Times. If it was good enough for our grandparents in their privies, it’s certainly good enough for us now.
pocomoco on April 23, 2007 at 8:32 PM
I don’t think I could do that to my posterior. Wipe it with something filthier than what just left it?
Freelancer on April 23, 2007 at 9:33 PM
Oh NO NO NO! Something terrible has happened, now everytime I go number 1 or 2 I think of SHERYL CROW and ROSIE’S BIG A$$! This could really impact by regularity in a negative way.
My mind-eyes are bleeding.
silenced majority on April 23, 2007 at 9:50 PM
Be sure to let us know how much you get for it. 3 bids as of this writing–23 cents! Go, Therapist, go! LOL!
aero on April 23, 2007 at 10:30 PM
I guess I’ll go to just one page of the Qu’Ran now, from my regular full volume. Good timing too, cause I was really ringing up quite the plumbing bill. That Sherly Crow, really knows what ails us the most.
James on April 23, 2007 at 11:54 PM
cheryl crow is a total idiot. She really should take her detachable sleeves and shove it. I especially challenge her to NOT use one square of toiletpaper. I know people who use CLOTH TP period and wash it. So, cheryl, c’mon, use cloth tp and stop with the use of paper if you roll that way. I’m sure you have plenty of housemaids that don’t mind washing your crap and pee cloths that you use.
Highrise on April 24, 2007 at 3:27 AM
Well, it’s about time I climbed onto this crazy ship. I used to enjoy Allah back in the days of his pauperhood, when he ran his own blog. I aspire to attract as many fatwas as he did.
Meanwhile, I’ve been following honora’s squidging (is that a word?) about this thing called “leadership.”
Her latest post follows logic that plays well in a corporate boardroom, or perhaps the US State Department.
But that’s as far as it goes. No further.
Honora’s leadership seminar hosts teach a brand of leadership that lives (and dies) upon consensus building and management. It’s the way of “leadership” that the EU or a Commonwealth country follows. Go to Europe, Australia, New Zealand, or Canada, and such “leadership” models are followed to the point that they become a quasi-religious creed.
And “leadership” by consensus management requires a “one eye forward, one eye backward” mindset: after all, if you aren’t being followed (so the seminar leaders teach), you aren’t “leading”.
My moral hero William Jefferson Clinton “led” the US that way, for eight years. Yet while “leading” with one eye looking behind, he missed the thread that was woven through the WTC bombing, embassy bombings in Kenya and Sudan, Khobar Towers bombing, the Oil for Food $$$ fiasco, overt links between Saddam, the UN, France, Iran, Hezbollah, HAMAS, the Muslim Brotherhood, and al-Queda, to name a few.
But I’m not one to note failures without also mentioning successes. Clinton, that able leader, taught all of us in management positions how to lead by opinion polls (in the corporate world, we call them “employee surveys”).
Clinton also gave us the Gorelick Wall, that lovely separation of Church and State in the intel world.
He taught a generation that even something as inspiring to the Left as the cause of Feminism could be sacrificed if there were more pressing matters at stake. For years, Feminists fought the good fight to rid the world of the once-popular belief that if a woman was raped, well, “she must have asked for it”. After the Clinton Leadership seminar (1992 - 2000), we learned that Flowers, Brodderick, Lewinsky, et.al., surely must have asked for it.
Which, in a roundabout way, brings me to my point.
Leadership, in the truest sense, is based firmly in one’s aspiration to achieve good things for no other reason than because those things are morally good to do.
Hopefully, others will be inspired to follow. If they do follow, the thing they are following is less the person than the cause, the good thing, to which the leader aspires.
It is this desire to aspire to a moral Good that marks a leader because this desire runs completely contrary to human nature. Morality at its purest desires to do good things because they are good.
I could go on, but I believe the point is made.
honora’s seminars taught her that leadership is succesful if others follow. This model is flawed - broken, if you will - because we can easily determine how to get people to follow us by pandering to their needs, desires, and/or fears. Yet there comes a time where choosing to do the right thing, the morally good thing, runs contrary to the choices people want to make.
When that time comes, a true Leader will keep walking towards the Good, looking forward with both eyes, knowing that if others choose to follow, their needs will be met because their desire to follow is a choice they made on their own.
And even if no one else follows, a true Leader will keep on going, because it’s the right, good thing to do.
Wanderlust on April 24, 2007 at 6:28 AM
Well me and Iococca and Jack Welsh and Bill Gates and Sam Walton and just about all highly successful company leaders. Consensus building–golly, let’s avoid that at all costs. LOL. Spoken like someone who has never been inside a board room.
I just love the capital letters. I assume this is to help your readers identify the really important words–which says something about how you see your readers. That’s the kind interpretation.
honora on April 24, 2007 at 9:45 AM
Spoken like someone who equates success in life by the amount of money one earns. Hopefully you aren’t married to anyone in the military, because they earn pennies on the dollar compared to their corporate peers. Just ask Darlene Druyun (former undersecretary for acquisition, US Air Force). I suppose military leaders aspire to be lords of the boardroom when they retire, to prove their leadership skills?
So when do you “go Diamond!”, honora? Dexter Yager is looking for someone just like you.
(oh, and any references to the writings of e.e.cummings aside, honora, it’s customary to capitalise adjectives when one is discussing the principle of that adjective in the superlative sense; your interpretation of the practice as [presumably] paternalistic, condescending, and/or patriarchal says quite a bit about you as the interpreter in this instance)
Wanderlust on April 24, 2007 at 10:11 AM
Wanderlust on April 24, 2007 at 10:11 AM
Try this: If one has to attend a leadership conference to learn how to be a leader …
It is a gift, just like a good voice is for singing.
Just like a good voice can be used to sing crud or to sing beauty, leadership can be used to lead others into good or into evil.
If one doesn’t have “it,” even 100 conferences aren’t going to make it appear.
;P
naliaka on April 24, 2007 at 11:52 AM
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