Quote of the day

posted at 11:35 pm on April 18, 2007 by Allahpundit

“Why waste all that carbon dioxide on your death?”

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Well you have to love this comment:

“You can actually do, after your death, an enormous amount of good for the planet,” he said. “The more forests you plant, the better.”

Except that the earth becomes overgrown with forests which catch fire during lightning strikes because of all the dead leaves and tree limbs environmental whack-jobs like this one won’t let anyone burn off. What, then, will the forest do about its carbon footprint?

thedecider on April 18, 2007 at 11:41 PM

Good Lord…clearly this man is already a vegetable.

EnochCain on April 18, 2007 at 11:44 PM

“Many parts of a pine tree are edible” – E Gibbons

Bradky on April 18, 2007 at 11:44 PM

Bradky on April 18, 2007 at 11:44 PM

In Soviet Russia pine tree eats you!!

EnochCain on April 18, 2007 at 11:51 PM

Professor Roger Short said people could instead choose to help the environment after death by being buried in a cardboard box under a tree.

The decomposing bodies would provide the tree with nutrients, and the tree would convert carbon dioxide into life-giving oxygen for decades, he said.

Yeaaaaaah… Except that up to 30% of Methane in the atmosphere comes from plants (trees are obviously the biggest of plants), and molecule for molecule methane is 30-40 TIMES MORE POTENT than Carbon Dioxide. This is a little reported fact that should make any global warmist feel like a total a-hole. Hey carbon offsetters, if your theory were right, you’re actually increasing “global warming” by having all those trees planted. Think of the next generation!!! (fart noise – Like Doug on King of Queens does with his hand to his mouth)

RightWinged on April 19, 2007 at 12:06 AM

Frank Langella? Well, just dang. From “Diary of a Mad Housewife” to my favorite Dracula to…this.

Connie on April 19, 2007 at 12:08 AM

Soylent Green is better. Perpetual recycling.

Limerick on April 19, 2007 at 12:09 AM

Limerick on April 19, 2007 at 12:09 AM

LOL you and I are giving away our ages!

Bradky on April 19, 2007 at 12:11 AM

Imagine the shock on the Do-gooders faces when the realize that Charlton Heston solved global warming.

Limerick on April 19, 2007 at 12:16 AM

What better way to say I love you than to send your loved one up in a big bubble of carbon dioxide.
Maybe those bubbles will come in colors soon.I’m in.

spazzmomma on April 19, 2007 at 12:20 AM

Am I the only one who thinks of these people as constantly running aroung the room, arms flayling in the air, screaming, in hysterics………. give me a break…

PinkyBigglesworth on April 19, 2007 at 12:22 AM

spazzmomma on April 19, 2007 at 12:20 AM

Their carbon bubble could float among the clouds for years. Kinda nice when you think about it.

thedecider on April 19, 2007 at 12:23 AM

Why are we worried about our carbon footprint when the Rolling Stones are trying to dope horses?

thedecider on April 19, 2007 at 12:38 AM

“Many parts of a pine tree are edible” – E Gibbons

Bradky on April 18, 2007 at 11:44 PM

hahahaha. I miss Euell. I think I’ll go have a bowl of grape nuts.

Mallard T. Drake on April 19, 2007 at 12:50 AM

Every time I poop. Another carbon credit.
.
And the Circle Of Life Is Complete.

Kini on April 19, 2007 at 12:53 AM

Will someone please tell these people that everything produces heat! Like I mean everything in physics/chemestry/biology. What happens when they realize that compost contributes to global warming??!!?

- The Cat

MirCat on April 19, 2007 at 1:00 AM

Kini on April 19, 2007 at 12:53 AM

Should you be pooping? You know, cattle flatulance has been attributed to global warming as well. Most humans give off gas when pooping.

Just saying…

thedecider on April 19, 2007 at 1:08 AM

Just saying…

thedecider on April 19, 2007 at 1:08 AM

Yeah, but it a global thang dude!
.
We’re all marked for….. wat eva!
.
Aloha!

Kini on April 19, 2007 at 2:24 AM

Hey, Soylent Green is a fairly recent movie, ok? So back off the age knocks.

Actually, I wasn’t that old when it came out. I did get to watch some of the climactic scenes of The Omega Man being filmed, that was a heavy flick back in the day. Heston did like a dozen takes of getting hit in the chest with a spear, using different sorts of plating/wood combinations, because they couldn’t get the thing to stick. Each time, he’d get knocked backward into that fountain, it was amazing. They finally kept a take where he grabbed it as it hit and held on tight.

Sorry, I just figured that was more interesting than talking about solar warming.

Freelancer on April 19, 2007 at 3:21 AM

I think I spent my offsets in last night’s racist spasms. I still have bottomless thought-credits about generically white and Christian liberals, but I fear they are worth Confederate dollars.

laelaps on April 19, 2007 at 3:25 AM

I’d like to apologise on behalf of Australia.

Seriously though, after having a long chat with an ex-funeral worker, I sure ain’t too keen on being buried in the dirt..

Reaps on April 19, 2007 at 6:34 AM

“Professor” Roger Short, oh yeah, he’s normal.

Zorro on April 19, 2007 at 7:01 AM

I guess the professor has never heard of public health issues. Decomposing bodies buried under trees? In cardboard boxes? Wait a minute, I’m going back and check that URL, must be a parody site because he can’t be serious.

Retread on April 19, 2007 at 7:41 AM

I’ve got to admit that the thought of Al Gore in a paper box under a mungo pine is quite amusing.

pistolero on April 19, 2007 at 8:37 AM

The author is wasting my oxygen.

doufree on April 19, 2007 at 8:41 AM

Yeah, then after 60 years or so, we could cut the tree down and build caskets from the wood!

csdeven on April 19, 2007 at 8:49 AM

I’ve got to admit that the thought of Al Gore in a paper box under a mungo pine is quite amusing.

pistolero on April 19, 2007 at 8:37 AM

Yeah. Bury him face down and you have the perfect furrow to plant the tree in.

csdeven on April 19, 2007 at 8:59 AM

Perhaps Al Gore and friends are just a little too Smug.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smug_Alert!

Wuptdo on April 19, 2007 at 9:12 AM

I think we just bury our loved ones in our backyard. Fertilize the grass and maybe grow some yummy potatoes at the same time!

http://www.poe-news.com/stories.php?poeurlid=12556

lorien1973 on April 19, 2007 at 9:52 AM

The decomposing bodies would provide the tree with nutrients, and the tree would convert carbon dioxide into life-giving oxygen for decades, he said.

Gee Mr. Scientist, I thought a dead body had very little CO2, all the carbon being in more complex molecules like sugars, fats, proteins and stuff. I was always taught plants (trees being one kind of plant) got their CO2 from the atmosphere, not from decomposing bodies beneath the ground.

BTW, part of the decomposition process involves bacteria “eating” the body, and oxydizing (another word for burning) the aforementioned complex molecules for energy -releasing CO2 as a by-product. Either way, the body gets “burned”.

taznar on April 19, 2007 at 10:03 AM

Speaking of carbon emissions and the dead, just how many greenhouse gases are being expelled every year by the eternal flame over JFK’s grave? Just askin’.

pistolero on April 19, 2007 at 10:10 AM

Well, what do you know. Ray Brent Marsh was ahead of his time.

Quisp on April 19, 2007 at 10:16 AM