Travolta: I’m bigger than Xenu
posted at 2:39 pm on April 17, 2007 by Allahpundit
No no, kidding. He’s not that big.
He’s merely as big as Elvis.
John Travolta doesn’t suffer from lack of ego. The “Wild Hogs” star recently boasted that he was as big a star as Elvis Presley and Marilyn Monroe — but didn’t suffer the same fate as them because of his values and religion.
“I have fame on the level of a Marilyn Monroe or an Elvis, but part of the reason I didn’t go the way they did was because of my beliefs,” Travolta told the Irish Independent…
Travolta also explained how he used his celeb status to help Scientology in Germany, where it had been under attack in some circles. “We were having a problem in Germany [where some critics called Scientology a money-making entity rather than a religion],” he told the Independent. “I talked to [former president Bill] Clinton who talked to Chancellor Kohl and things have improved since then.”
Didn’t John Lennon get in trouble for something like this once?
When he says he’s as big as Elvis, he’s not kidding. Hahahahahaha — seriously, though, he’s fat.
Blowback
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Dude, why did you do that to us? The pain of the VT shootings wasn’t enough, you had to show us that terrifying photo?
RightWinged on April 17, 2007 at 2:42 PM
That’s gross.
Esthier on April 17, 2007 at 2:43 PM
So Clinton stong-arms a german chancellor into halting criticism of the cult of some of his bigger donors?
Xenu help us.
Viewtifulgare on April 17, 2007 at 2:44 PM
What’s xenu?
Esthier on April 17, 2007 at 2:44 PM
I think that was about a Supreme Being, or sompting like it.
I think Vinnie Barbarino has been thinning out his oxygen supply.
And Scientology is actually a salad dressing.
Kini on April 17, 2007 at 2:45 PM
Quite possibly balding, too. Someone neglected to tell the ferret on Travolta’s head that it’s OK to go for a swim.
Kid from Brooklyn on April 17, 2007 at 2:45 PM
So now he’s a world leader too.
Gregor on April 17, 2007 at 2:46 PM
Salad Dressing
Kini on April 17, 2007 at 2:47 PM
John Travolta….Mansierre Model.
Kid from Brooklyn on April 17, 2007 at 2:47 PM
Now THIS is what I call a change of topic.
shooter on April 17, 2007 at 2:47 PM
And now for something completely different!
Kini on April 17, 2007 at 2:50 PM
HAHAHA!!
Tha’s just nasty Allah.
HAHA.
Theworldisnotenough on April 17, 2007 at 2:51 PM
Travolta ate Elvis
lorien1973 on April 17, 2007 at 2:51 PM
Xenu is, if I remember correctly, an intergalactic dictator, was sent to earth and disposed of in a volcano with several million of his closest followers. They became fragments that cling on all humans, and can only be removed, or cleared, by using the procedures of L. Ron Hubbard. As you clear yourself of these entities, you move up a spiraling circle of enlightenment. Each Circle costs X number of dollers though, so it is expensive, but whats a little cash to free yourself?
Either that or Xenu was a warrior princess.
Wyrd on April 17, 2007 at 2:53 PM
The South Park guys are at their best goofing on Scientology.
http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117939918.html?categoryid=14&cs=1
From that Variety article:
MWAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!! HAIL XENU!!!!!
Bad Candy on April 17, 2007 at 2:55 PM
He is so fat his Thetans are covered in bacon grease.
Bill C on April 17, 2007 at 2:55 PM
Xenu is, if I remember correctly, an intergalactic dictator, was sent to earth and disposed of in a volcano with several million of his closest followers.
Ooohhh, you mean That Xenu!
pbary on April 17, 2007 at 2:55 PM
Great. VA Tech convocation, leaders from the religious community are speaking. Guess who is speaking first…
Theworldisnotenough on April 17, 2007 at 2:56 PM
Big as Elvis, in his friggin’ dreams
Wade on April 17, 2007 at 2:59 PM
He’s got bigger manboobs that Elvis or Xenu.
I’m shocked that he doesn’t use his mind to reshape his body.
He’s gotta be at least OT VII with all the money he’s given them.
mesablue on April 17, 2007 at 3:01 PM
Travolta, in the accent/voice of Mr. Bean “Firstly, I’m big. Secondly, I’m a Scientologist. Thirdly, that’s good”.
Entelechy on April 17, 2007 at 3:08 PM
Dude.
Jaibones on April 17, 2007 at 3:08 PM
Well, Elvis never accomplished having the 14th worst reviewed film of all time as his personal masterpiece.
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/features/special/2007/wotw/?r=14&mid=1097232
JayHaw Phrenzie on April 17, 2007 at 3:08 PM
How does Xenu square with the shape shifting lizards of the illuminati? Are they the same? Do they fight each other?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Icke#Reptilian_humanoids
lorien1973 on April 17, 2007 at 3:08 PM
The South Park recap of scientology is all you need to know about their beliefs. I can’t find the clip online.
Valiant on April 17, 2007 at 3:09 PM
Have you -seen- an elvis movie. #14 would be generous! they are awful.
lorien1973 on April 17, 2007 at 3:09 PM
Moron.
Viper1 on April 17, 2007 at 3:22 PM
Full episode here. Its South Park, so that’s your very obvious content warning.
http://www.southparkzone.com/episode.php?vid=912
Bad Candy on April 17, 2007 at 3:27 PM
So what exactly does it take to be bigger than the mythical space alien of Scientology?
Bigger than a breadbox? More popular than Pee-Wee Herman? Able to leap tall blogs in a single bound?
E L Frederick (Sniper One) on April 17, 2007 at 3:27 PM
I got chills … they’re multiplying …
Professor Blather on April 17, 2007 at 3:29 PM
You are being kind. Awful is very kind.
Wade on April 17, 2007 at 3:33 PM
I smell lawsuit for posting that link to that image.
Tim Burton on April 17, 2007 at 3:40 PM
woo, I’ve seen better heads on an iodine bottle.
Zorro on April 17, 2007 at 3:44 PM
I’ll sue you in England!
JayHaw Phrenzie on April 17, 2007 at 3:55 PM
Lennon said the Beatles were bigger than Jesus.
The funny thing is that Lennon, from what I understand, meant it as an entirely sarcastic comment on the absurdity of elevating mere pop stars to the importance of religious icons. Somehow, I don’t think Travolta is kidding.
tommy1 on April 17, 2007 at 3:56 PM
I thought Elvis was Xenu.
vcferlita on April 17, 2007 at 4:09 PM
I think his fan mail is going to his head–but it missed and went to the belly instead—John Revolta
Vanquisher on April 17, 2007 at 4:09 PM
Man, we need some Fred! today.
thebookkeeper on April 17, 2007 at 4:13 PM
Great. Now the Germans have all of our top military and communication secrets. Berger, that’s a German name, nein? He probably crammed that evidence down his shorts too, while visiting the National Archives.
fogw on April 17, 2007 at 4:19 PM
::In the voice of Vinnie Barbarino::
“Whut?”
“Wheyah?”
“I didn’t do nuthin’!”
By far the most intelligent, sensible words ever spoken by Mr. Travolta.
Freelancer on April 17, 2007 at 4:19 PM
Just glanced at the photo.
Man-Boobs, Wooly Bear-Gut and Hair-Piece. Nice.
fogw on April 17, 2007 at 4:21 PM
What the heck is he doing with his hands? I heard that makes you go blind.
KelliD on April 17, 2007 at 4:45 PM
I wondered the same thing.
then I thought, maybe travolta’s been breathing too much jet fuel lately. And he’s totally gone insane.
lorien1973 on April 17, 2007 at 4:56 PM
That photo was inspiring. I feel better about my own physical appearance now.
vcferlita on April 17, 2007 at 5:06 PM
Wasn’t Xenu the head “Sweathog” on Welcome Back, Kotter ?
When confronted by Xenu, Travolta could only muster a “What…Where…”
JetBoy on April 17, 2007 at 5:10 PM
I can’t wait until Elvis kicks his ass in a Burger King somewhere near Ocala, Florida.
robblefarian on April 17, 2007 at 5:33 PM
I am relieved to know that he is so well grounded. But, does he have the never to say his is bigger than L. Ron?
dallas94 on April 17, 2007 at 6:05 PM
Well that’s right! Neither Bill Clinton nor ol’ Chance Kohl are in power today. How did Travolta fiddle with his meters to bring that about?
naliaka on April 17, 2007 at 7:21 PM
I am loving how stupid and out of touch this guy is. It really reaffirms my heartfelt sense that nothing of value exists in Hollywood. Hell, he’s one of the good ones!
The quintessential Revolta quote has to be this one:
Jaibones on April 17, 2007 at 8:11 PM
Ah, you had to say it before I got to make a crack at it!
- The Cat
MirCat on April 17, 2007 at 9:17 PM
The picture and caption is comedy gold. Gold, I tell ya!
jaleach on April 17, 2007 at 11:46 PM
Post Title of the Week!
Claire on April 18, 2007 at 12:40 AM
Ok, Travolta is generally nuts, I agree. But I am not so sure that this statement isn’t to far off of the mark. He does have alot of successful movies to his credit. A quick look at IMD credits Travolta with 45 film roles as compared with 31 for Monroe and 32 for the King. Travolta is still alive and could be making movies for another 30 years or more. If scientology keeps him off of the smack and living healthy the more power to him for it. Travolta doesnt have Presley’s music career, but if were talking purely about film credits I would have to say he is right about being in the league with Monroe and Elvis.
jones on April 18, 2007 at 1:36 AM
That would have been “Xena – Warrior Princess,” and I loved your explanation of Xenu.
Is that based on the theories of Scientology?
William
William2006 on April 18, 2007 at 3:06 PM