…running water, clean running water…

blogRot on April 17, 2007 at 5:04 PM

Dude, he was talking about a house in Mexico…

blogRot on April 17, 2007 at 5:04 PM

I would speculate that you do not live in a border state and have spent little if any time in Mexico. I have worked with and lived around Mexican Nationals, legal and illegal, all of my life. I can assure you when they talk about buying land and building a house in Mexico, it is not for madre y padre. They may be able to live with him when he moves back, which is quite common, but he is not building a house for their exclusive use in most cases. And even making $50k a year he is not going to be able to provide cleanrunning water because for the most part it does not exist in Mexico by US standards.

And he bought land and built a house in Mexico that tends to make me believe that he has no intention of assimilating or staying in this country.

Its called “having a family”; one sends money back to improve their family’s (parents and grandparents mostly) quality of life. The small, little things like roofs, running water, clean running water, and the occasional solid concrete foundation. Maybe even a separate room for the toilet.

The Onion says, “Yes.” …

Plus numerous other articles containing the un-pc term, lately. What’s up their sleeves?

Black Adam on April 17, 2007 at 2:56 PM

No, they just started offering little clips like this on their website. You can access them anywhere in the world.

And there might be a common ground compromise to be made with the Tancredo people on the lava moat, if we offer the fierljepper option (i.e., you clear the moat, we make you a citizen).

I hate living in Germany!!! Curse you, American Forces Network!

AAAAAArrrrrGGGGhhhh!

Even though I am a conservative, I think liberalism is a mental disorder, and I want to build the moat filled with dragon fire…I think that’s the funniest thing I’ve seen in years. Great satire.

Jaibones on April 17, 2007 at 11:36 AM

The Onion is using improvisers. I recognize the bald guy from IO in Chicago. He also is in the Sonic and Apple ads. What they are doing is called hightening. Taking an idea and gradually making it more absurd. The key is that everyone agree that whatever is said by the another is perfectly reasonable, use what others have said and make it slight more preposterous, and have an emotional reaction that is opposite of the suggestion; i.e., strange ideas are taken seriously, normal ideas are scoffed at.

We could do the same in the other direction. “Illegals should be accepted, they should be protected, they should be given special rights, they should be given property, every American citizen should switch places with Mexican citizens and we should have to cross the border to find jobs, we should offer our children as sacrifices to our Mexican neighbors/gods. Wouldn’t it be reasonable to require workers to show ID. YOU ARE WORSE THAN HITLER!. Are you a boy who was born in Brazil. Test his DNA for Germanic tendencies.”

Comedy isn’t hard. Just make sure you use professionals, that is one of my criticisms of the THHNH. They use actors and they don’t have the chops.

P.S. And I am still available for hire.

You know using Lava would help Hawaii and their lava surplus crisis. And its an all natural product. Sounds win-win to me.

Iblis on April 17, 2007 at 1:50 PM

Yeah, we could help out Hawaii with “lava offsets”.
That would also keep us from dealing with the problem eeyore brought up above.

I think if every border town flushed at the same time, we could fill the moat.

We have a moat — it’s called teh Rio Grande. Not working so much.
jdpaz on April 17, 2007 at 12:18 PM

That’s because it’s too shallow to take advantage of the Mexican lack of buoyancy.

But I have another problem with this idea. Do we have enough domestic dragons to produce the fire for this moat? Or are we going to get caught in the trap of being dependent on yet another resource from politically unstable regions of the world who happen to have more dragons?!

I suggested we build a canal. It would be one heckuva project and would probably take 20 years and a 2 trillion dollars to build but civilizations need great projects.

I support that idea if we can use the Army Corps of Engineers to do it – we need to get them out of New Orleans.

I would prefer a castle wall similar to the one used in Monty Python Holy Grail and manned by angry French speaking persons.

But will they fart in Mexico’s general direction? JaHerer22, have you seen godhatesfigs.com?

Those bribes would probably only cost about $1 billion. Any comments?

$25 an hour! For “doing jobs Americans won’t do?!?!?”
mojojojo on April 17, 2007 at 12:39 PM

Not only that, but he’s most likely not paying income tax–or at least not all of it (employers might be withholding on his behalf, or they might be paying him off the books with cash). If you were earning the same $25/hr, you’d have to give the government a huge chunk of it that he doesn’t have to. And he’s probably getting free health care, too. At least since he bought a house he’s probably paying property tax and therefore contributing to the cost of educating illegals’ children. But by and large, you can bet he’s taking home a whole lot more of his income than you are.

The Onion’s staff debate a moat to stop illegal immigration….

Dragon fire…priceless.

This is the type of satire we\’re used to seeing from left-leaning comedians while we secretly wish we were as funny as they are. Well, apparently there is a funny conservative out there somewhere….