I am Huff Po

posted at 9:53 am on April 3, 2007 by Bryan

Well played:

Dear Muslim Freedom Fighter/Patriot/Hero/Martyr/Brother,

You do not know me. But I act as lookout for you. You are my friend. And I am yours.

I am Huff Po.

I am flying my private plane. I am riding in my limousine. I have never ridden a bus. And the subway? Feh. That’s for the little people. I am living in a gated community. I always use the VIP entrance. We’ll probably never actually meet unless you’re holding the door for me.

I am your flag-burner. I am your effigy-hanger. I am your high-calorie hunger-striker. I am your unshaven documentary-maker.

I am Huff Po.

Read the rest.

(h/t LGF)

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It’s funny, because its true.

lorien1973 on April 3, 2007 at 10:02 AM

“I will donate to your misunderstood mosque leaders as reparations for the injustices your people suffered during the Crusades.”

I was at a counter protest a few years ago when a young man with braces still on his teeth accused me of supporting the Crusades!

I responded that I didn’t know the United States was involved in that war…

The fact that I could even reply, I consider a personal triumph!

Really folks, this is how stupid these people are. The sad question is, why are they winning the media war???

Babs on April 3, 2007 at 10:15 AM

Babs on April 3, 2007 at 10:15 AM

Because conservatives give normal people too much credit. They assume that any normal person will say, “you’re an idiot”, when the reality is that normal people are lemmings and say, “the Crusades? Tell me more!”

Lehosh on April 3, 2007 at 10:17 AM

Crusades? Weren’t they a counter-attack?

I’m relieved that these idiots have to go back at least several hundred years to find an example of this behavior on the part of Western Civilization.

For the jihadis, the Renaissance was just something that happened to other people!

CurtZHP on April 3, 2007 at 10:23 AM

Because conservatives give normal people too much credit. They assume that any normal person will say, “you’re an idiot”, when the reality is that normal people are lemmings and say, “the Crusades? Tell me more!”

Lehosh on April 3, 2007 at 10:17 AM

And liberals are accused of elitism. Yikes.

honora on April 3, 2007 at 10:24 AM

can’t forget…

“…
I am learning to have hope in you
I am learning to see you as so much more
Than those actions I would never want to commit

You amaze me.
Born out of death to a life in a cage
Raised by colonialism
You did not accept imprisonment as natural
You did not accept hunger as justice
You did not accept
the ceaseless killing in so many ways
Of those next to you
Or those farther away

I love you
But I will never be yours
I don’t want you inside me
You are too male for me
…”

http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/?entry=21765_Berkeley_Grad_Students_Love_Poem_to_Hizballah&only

jummy on April 3, 2007 at 10:45 AM

honora on April 3, 2007 at 10:24 AM

You’re right, pure elitism. My elitism forced the View’s ratings through the roof and made 40% of people think the 9-11 commission was a coverup. It must be my elitism that makes people believe the military is full of ignorant tards and that we’re in Iraq to steal oil and that Valery Plame is a sainted victim of a Rovian conspiracy.

My elitism is pretty powerful.

Lehosh on April 3, 2007 at 10:50 AM

I am laughing so hard I am crying….it is so very true!

Pam on April 3, 2007 at 11:00 AM

I am your High Calorie Hunger Striker

ow… ow… tummy hurts… laughing…

Mazztek on April 3, 2007 at 11:06 AM

Well played

Well played indeed!

RedinBlueCounty on April 3, 2007 at 11:42 AM

You’re right, pure elitism. My elitism forced the View’s ratings through the roof and made 40% of people think the 9-11 commission was a coverup. It must be my elitism that makes people believe the military is full of ignorant tards and that we’re in Iraq to steal oil and that Valery Plame is a sainted victim of a Rovian conspiracy.

Well I can’t speak to any of that, but I suspect you’re being a bit tough on yourself.

No, I am calling your statement that “normal people are lemmings” elitist.

honora on April 3, 2007 at 12:04 PM

honora on April 3, 2007 at 12:04 PM

I don’t think it’s elitist to recognize the mechanics of mob psychology and the entirely predictable lowest-common-denominator.

Westerners are bored and the obvious answers are boring. A huge population of easily bored people will believe anything that’s only slightly plausible just for a bit of color.

Lehosh on April 3, 2007 at 12:19 PM

grr…

frankj on April 3, 2007 at 12:57 PM

Only one thing wrong with this ‘manifesto’ – s/b

I am HuffPoo.

Entelechy on April 3, 2007 at 1:26 PM

…I am calling your statement that “normal people are lemmings” elitist.

honora on April 3, 2007 at 12:04 PM

honora, please read this passage:

Matthew 7:13-14 (New International Version)

13″Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

Okay honora, c’mon now — let me hear you say it, viz.
“Jesus was an elitist.”

(…as if that was a bad thing.)

CyberCipher on April 3, 2007 at 1:41 PM

Well played indeed, maybe conservatives can be funny after all.

My only complaint is that you guys portray liberals as polar opposites based on whatever stereotype better suits your current need. One minute we’re poor, dirty, jobless, welfare-whores with too much time on our hands and the next minute we’re rich, elitist, snobs with private planes and limos. I’m just confused…am I doing nothing but smoking pot and buying munchies with my welfare check or am I driving my Lexus hybrid to Whole Foods and then a Broadway Play…please help clear things up for me.

JaHerer22 on April 3, 2007 at 1:48 PM

It’s HuffPo, JH. Hollywood elitists blogging for a billionaire’s ex’s playtoy. So the elitist characterization here absolutely fits.

Bryan on April 3, 2007 at 1:57 PM

Reading some of the Huffpo comments leads me to the conclusion that They Don’t Get It.

When I fly, and I often do, I always look around at who is on the plane with me. Before 911, I didn’t give it a second thought. I would have done exactly what the passengers did when those Imans started up their nonsense. For that matter, anyone else. So I am proud to claim I am John Doe

Better than being a dead Joe Blow courtesy of Mohamed Islam.

Kini on April 3, 2007 at 2:32 PM

My only complaint is that you guys portray liberals as polar opposites based on whatever stereotype better suits your current need. One minute we’re poor, dirty, jobless, welfare-whores with too much time on our hands and the next minute we’re rich, elitist, snobs with private planes and limos. I’m just confused…am I doing nothing but smoking pot and buying munchies with my welfare check or am I driving my Lexus hybrid to Whole Foods and then a Broadway Play…please help clear things up for me.

JaHerer22 on April 3, 2007 at 1:48 PM

John Edwards is right – there are two Americas – you’re both. You, JaH22, decide which of the two fits you. Share, if you please. The elitists among you ‘guide’ the others to the voting stations, followed by the trough.

Congratulations, you described yourselves to absolute perfection.

Entelechy on April 3, 2007 at 5:21 PM

“Jesus was an elitist.”

(…as if that was a bad thing.)

CyberCipher on April 3, 2007 at 1:41 PM

Well what with being God and all, it’s kinda hard to argue the point.

honora on April 3, 2007 at 6:30 PM

She could hook up with Puff Daddy and be Puff’s Ho.

Khyber Pass on April 4, 2007 at 8:49 AM

From LGF?!?!?!

WTF?!?!?!?

AUINSC on April 8, 2011 at 8:45 PM

JaHerer22 on April 3, 2007 at 1:48 PM

Here let me help you the these “rich, elitist, snobs with private planes and limos” take our money to buy the dependence and votes of “we’re poor, dirty, jobless, welfare-whores with too much time on our hands”. How simple is that!

Cindy Munford on April 8, 2011 at 8:50 PM

I am Huff Po.

Hey! What’s with that explosive vest?

If only HuffPo really understood this.

Cindy Munford on April 8, 2011 at 8:52 PM

Why is something posted by Bryan 4 years ago appearing in headlines?

DFCtomm on April 8, 2011 at 8:55 PM

DFCtomm on April 8, 2011 at 8:55 PM

I feel for it.

Cindy Munford on April 8, 2011 at 8:58 PM

Oh..this is a malfunction…this post if from 2007…back when CJ pretended to be sane.

AUINSC on April 8, 2011 at 8:59 PM

Um…am I the only one looking at something from 2007…written up by Bryan?

MadisonConservative on April 8, 2011 at 9:01 PM

Opps, I fell for it.

Cindy Munford on April 8, 2011 at 9:01 PM

Weird. I looked at little green fart balls last night for some reason. At first I thought it was a parody site – but apparently not. It’s real, and it’s in another space-time dimension. Like this link.

bbhack on April 8, 2011 at 11:02 PM

how did I get here?

Free Constitution on April 8, 2011 at 11:54 PM