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Hey, how awesome would America have been if the Goracle won in 2000?

posted at 6:57 pm on March 31, 2007 by Allahpundit
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Indescribably paradisaically awesome. How awesome?

December 15, 2004: In exchange for his aid in rooting out Osama bin Laden, Saddam Hussein and his sons Uday and Qusay are encouraged by Gore and by former Presidents Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter to work out a plan for Iraq’s transition to a secular democracy after Hussein’s death, with Hussein and his sons in pivotal roles on the democracy commission. American conservatives immediately decry this as “appeasement”, whereas Iraq-based observers congratulate Gore, Clinton and Carter for working on a plan to stave off the horrifically bloody civil war that would likely follow Saddam’s death or removal from power.

No 9/11 either. Of course.

The post is at Firedoglake but the link goes to Moran, who’s practically speechless at the thought of Saddam on “the democracy commission.” Meanwhile, here’s an article about a visit to the United States by Jalal Talabani’s son, who asked America to maybe give him and his people a heads up this time before we run away.


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That may be the single most offensive thing I’ve ever read in my life. I literally feel like throwing my computer out the window after this. Stupid is too mild a word.

Number 2 on March 31, 2007 at 7:02 PM

In exchange for his aid in rooting out Osama bin Laden, Saddam Hussein and his sons Uday and Qusay are encouraged by Gore and by former Presidents Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter to work out a plan for Iraq’s transition to a secular democracy after Hussein’s death, with Hussein and his sons in pivotal roles on the democracy commission.

Yeah, that would work. It’s a total drag being a dictator, raping any woman who catches your eye, and killing anyone who gets in your way. They’d totally prefer being subject to the whims of the populace and beholden to their demands.

It’s such a shame that we killed those nice boys.

Pablo on March 31, 2007 at 7:04 PM

Imagine how things would have been had NBC not called Florida for Gore while voting booths in the central time zone were still open.

We’d be BDS-free, perhaps.

Imagine if the Goracle could have won his adopted home state of Tennessee.

Exit question: Would Osama have called off his plans were the Goracle in office?

JammieWearingFool on March 31, 2007 at 7:04 PM

Reality Based Community…My A–

liberrocky on March 31, 2007 at 7:05 PM

Does everyone end up with a pony?

Kevin M on March 31, 2007 at 7:07 PM

On the upside, were Joementum the VP, we’d never have heard of Nedrenaline.

JammieWearingFool on March 31, 2007 at 7:07 PM

And the Winner Is…Still George Bush April 2001
Remember the presidential election? There were the ubiquitous chads — dimpled and pimpled, pregnant, hanging, and swinging. Then there were the counts, the recounts, and the re-recounts. Today, we can add one more unofficial recount to the ever-increasing tally: The Miami Herald released the results of its recount of “undercounted” ballots in all 67 Florida counties. I know that you are eagerly waiting to know who the president is (there’s that whole clause in the Constitution that delegates power to the newspapers to decide close elections that turn on the results in Florida), but before I give you the results, let me remind you of what some of the luminaries have been saying since the election:

##Terry McAuliffe, Chairman of the Democratic National Committee: “[Y]ou’ll see soon, that we also won the electoral vote. Many of the newspapers will be out soon that will show that Al Gore actually got the most votes.” (Capital Gang, February 24, 2001)

##James Carville: “Everybody knows who won the election. …[W]e’re not going to get over it.” (Meet the Press, Jan 21, 2001)

##Jesse Jackson, who referred to Florida as “the scene of the crime,” said, “the evidence is that he [Bush] lost the vote in Florida.” (CNN Late Edition, December 25, 2000)

##And finally, Joseph Lieberman, who in a February speech at a Florida temple referred to himself as “vice president of the government in exile,” and stated: “I believe you brought Al Gore and a me — and me [sic] to victory in the state of Florida.” (Hardball, February 20, 2001)

##Despite the fact that Bush won all official counts, loyal Democrats offered these declarations, guided by the hope that some silver bullet existed. If they just counted all the ballots, then Gore really won. He had to. Maybe it was the butterfly ballot that cost him the election? Or maybe it was the machines? Yeah, that was it. If, on a manual recount, they just counted small enough indentations on the ballots, then surely Gore would win. Even if the courts had some silly notions that prevented party officials from counting the ballots using different standards from day-to-day, the newspaper recounts would vindicate them in the end.

##Enter the Miami Herald, which yesterday said that if the recounts had been allowed to continue, then “under almost all scenarios, Bush still would have won.” ##The particulars are as follows: Bush officially won by 537 votes. If Gore’s more liberal counting standard prevailed and all dimpled and hanging chads had been counted, then the Bush lead jumps to 1,665. If dimples only count where other races are dimpled (which would suggest a uniform error by the voter or by the machine, rather than a voter changing his or her mind before perforating the chad), then the Bush lead is 884. If two corners of the chad must be perforated, this being the predominant standard for recounts throughout the country, then the lead is 363. Finally, if only clean punches count, then Gore wins by 3 votes.

##Several themes can be gleaned from this data. First, the methodology of the study provides substantial support for the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision. The Herald analyzed the data based upon multiple counting standards, and therefore supplied multiple results. Why not simply apply a single standard, and announce a final outcome? Because, as the Supreme Court recognized, there wasn’t uniformity among the counties (or even within the counties) as to which counting standard applied. Gore supporters advocated continued counting exercises using variable standards, yet, clearly, permitting endless revisions to voting standards after the election was over was not the way to solve the problem, especially given the constitutional interest in finality that had been observed by the Court.

##Second, the data suggest that Republicans and Democrats did a poor job of gaming outcomes — at least to the extent that they chose counting standards based on what they believed to be best for their candidates’ chances for success. After all, the Republicans wanted strict standards for votes (some advocating a clear-punch rule, while other advocated a rule permitting a vote where light shined through in a manner like the two-corner rule from the Herald recount), and Democrats wanted even the slightest marks to count. In the end, it probably didn’t matter, because almost any standard would have favored Bush, with the exception of the clear-punch rule.

##Third, the study provides substantial support for Bush’s victory, and generally decimates the theory that Gore would have won if dimpled chads had been counted. But don’t look for this to decide the issue for Gore supporters. No sooner was the study released, then Bob Poe, Chairman of the Florida Democratic Party said: “My feeling is still that more people went to the polls to vote for Al Gore than went to vote for George W. Bush, and that some really bad things happened.” Doug Hattaway, a former Gore campaign spokesman, went further: “If you count every vote, Gore wins. This study confirms that Florida’s election system failed the voters.’’ OK. Why the sudden case of statistical impairment? One explanation is the faith of a true believer. Put simply, there are those who will never believe that Bush won, no matter how overwhelming the evidence. For these individuals, there is little I can say, other than to proffer other mysteries: The world is not the center of the universe, and, more amazing still, it is round, not flat.

Another explanation for this reticence is that the Democrats are relying on the stolen-election theme as a battle cry for the next election. When the DNC met and elected McAuliffe as Chairman, the “we-really-won-the-election” theme was the rant du jour. The party-faithful perceive the charge of electoral illegitimacy to be a motivating factor for voter turnout in the next election — and don’t let facts get in the way, thank you.

In the end, the Herald study provides a useful piece of data, which will be interesting to statisticians, historians, and unattached voters, but will probably not make that big a difference. Republicans were generally satisfied with the first three counts, and Democrats will not be satisfied until the prophesy of Gore’s ascendancy is fulfilled.

Mazztek on March 31, 2007 at 7:12 PM

Hey, how awesome would America have been if the Goracle won in 2000?

I am happy not to know. . . .

Texyank on March 31, 2007 at 7:15 PM

Who the hell wrote this piece of demented fantasy fiction?

I mean most writers have their heads in the clouds, but that cat has his head firmly wedged between Al Gore’s ample butt cheeks.

What could possibly make the author think Al Gore could make Uday & Qusay give up rape and murder for democracy and the inevitable revenge of their many victims?

My theory is heavy hallucinogenic drugs.

MoxArgon on March 31, 2007 at 7:15 PM

I’ve got words.

“Huh?”

spmat on March 31, 2007 at 7:16 PM

Ya know, when Saddam was not busy oppressing and murdering, he really was just a regular nice guy family man. He even had Fleetwood Mac on his ipod.

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la….

infidel4life on March 31, 2007 at 7:19 PM

“We’d be BDS-free, perhaps.”

The Gipper won two landslide elections, but there was loads of Reagan hatred amongst Democrats in the 1980s–there just weren’t as many cable TV channels and no ubiquitous WWW (the Internet itself was still in its infancy) to spread it on.

Ed Driscoll on March 31, 2007 at 7:24 PM

Oh, and they COMPLETELY ignore the fact that Clinton ORDERED SADDAM’s REMOVAL.

Mazztek on March 31, 2007 at 7:45 PM

From the article:

“August – early September, 2001: Dozens of students at flight schools are arrested in a major FBI operation. Thirteen of these students turn out to be directly involved in what will come to be called “the September Plot”.”

If only Gore had won, the FBI would’ve bben able to arrest “dozens of students at flight schools”… before anything had happened. And you can bet no one on the Left would’ve stood up for civil liberties with Gore as President. Think about that statement and what it really means.

“September 11, 2001: At the Houston, LAX and Minneapolis International airports, seven Saudi and Algerian men were forbidden from boarding their flights after airport security personnel found box cutters, wire and other banned items on their persons. These men turn out to be the remnants of the band of Al-Qaeda’s September Plotters; all the others had been caught in the FBI’s sweep of the flight schools.”

Box cutters and wire were not banned items at the time. I used to work on ships in the merchant marine and I’d fly all over the world with my seaman’s knifes in my carry on luggage right up to 911.

These people on the Left dream of a time when Al Gore’s administration would’ve violated civil rights to a degree that would rival Lincoln during the civil war. And they don’t even have their recent history straight.

Kevin R on March 31, 2007 at 7:52 PM

I want some of what these guys were smoking

Anyone remember the Gore as President earlier this year from SNL? Same delusions, different days

Defector01 on March 31, 2007 at 7:59 PM

September 12, 2001: UN Secretary General Kofi Annan agrees to a call by Madeline Albright, US Ambassdor to the UN, for an international force to enter Afghanistan to root out Al-Qaeda. France and Britain, whose intelligence services have worked closely with US intelligence agencies, strongly back the Gore Administration’s position as copious evidence of planned Al-Qaeda attacks in Europe has come to light. To buttress further the case for invasion, well-documented human rights abuses committed by Afghanistan’s Taliban government, which is allied with Al-Qaeda, are brought forth as evidence.

September 16, 2001: 150,000 UN-led troops, 100,000 of whom are US forces, leave for Afghanistan. Saddam Hussein, who as a secularist Muslim leader despises Osama bin Laden and is in any event eager to get back in the world’s good graces, assists in setting up staging areas in Iraq for the UN. In Teheran, Iran’s moderate leadership, which needs the help of the world community in beating back the conservative mullahs, agrees to let UN troops and planes pass through Iran unhindered.

Any liberal military fantasies must include the UN and a multicultural fighting force…………shoot me please

Defector01 on March 31, 2007 at 8:02 PM

“We’d be BDS-free, perhaps.”

The Gipper won two landslide elections, but there was loads of Reagan hatred amongst Democrats in the 1980s–there just weren’t as many cable TV channels and no ubiquitous WWW (the Internet itself was still in its infancy) to spread it on.

Ed Driscoll on March 31, 2007 at 7:24 PM

That’s true, Ed, but they just never got over Florida.

JammieWearingFool on March 31, 2007 at 8:10 PM

Such cutesy wishful thinking makes me wanna fwow up.

Now, exactly why do they call themselves the reality-based community?

Gottafang on March 31, 2007 at 8:33 PM

Hmmm. Reminds me of a song I once heard.

Sean M. on March 31, 2007 at 8:40 PM

Any liberal military fantasies must include the UN and a multicultural fighting force………

Defector01 on March 31, 2007 at 8:02 PM

But who would such a multicultural force fight? Who would be the enemy?

Oh, that’s right, the right-wingers and the Jooooos.

infidel4life on March 31, 2007 at 8:41 PM

Ever wonder how the last six-odd years might have gone, had all the votes been counted in 2000?

They were, Bush won, and Gore would not allow our soldier’s votes to be counted……. Yeah, he supports the troops.

Another explanation for this reticence is that the Democrats are relying on the stolen-election theme as a battle cry for the next election. When the DNC met and elected McAuliffe as Chairman, the “we-really-won-the-election” theme was the rant du jour. The party-faithful perceive the charge of electoral illegitimacy to be a motivating factor for voter turnout in the next election — and don’t let facts get in the way, thank you.

Mazztek on March 31, 2007 at 7:12 PM

Spot on Mazztek, very well done.

I’ll make sure ‘ol Fred Thompson invites you to the next “sour mash BBQ” with the Mrs.

PinkyBigglesworth on March 31, 2007 at 8:45 PM

Imagine blue helmets and Gore’s “mass persuasion campaign” right in your own home town. It’s easy if you try.

Buzzy on March 31, 2007 at 8:47 PM

Delusion by any other name … is still delusion.

darwin on March 31, 2007 at 9:24 PM

You want to see a previous election that would have put a man in power who could have stopped 9/11? Take a look at Bush 41.

With Bush 41 winning instead of Clinton in the early 90’s, we would have had a president with the stones to assassinate Bin Laden at the start.

Instead we lost our military, grew an extremist movement, and showed the world that we were weak. And all the while the duly elected Protector of the Western World was committing adultery in the Oval Office with a young fat girl.

Yes, how about we go back farther than the 2000 election.

unamused on March 31, 2007 at 9:26 PM

Hmmm….what would life be like in the Islamic States of Ameriqa…the Goracle would only be a figurehead leader, with an Imam in the Oval Office…

JetBoy on March 31, 2007 at 9:34 PM

Yes, how about we go back farther than the 2000 election.

Yes, what would have happened if Carter lost?

darwin on March 31, 2007 at 9:37 PM

Just as Bush is responsible for all things evil, Gore is–or would have been–the fount of all things good. The opposite of Bush Derangement Syndrome is Gore Idolatry Syndrome.

Bill Ramey on March 31, 2007 at 9:41 PM

Funny thing is we’re constantly told that Hussein had nothing to do with Bin Laden and Al Qaida. Which begs the question, how could Hussein and his inbred sons have helped in rooting him out?

And as for the Dems ability to build a European coalition, Clinton couldn’t even get them on board for the Balkans, which is their own back yard. Quick, name an international coalition that Clinton/Gore brokered?

cmay on March 31, 2007 at 9:52 PM

the face i’m wearing two minutes after reading that blockquote is indescribable. i can’t see myself but it feels like horror and amusement simultaneously.

jummy on March 31, 2007 at 10:29 PM

Just as Bush is responsible for all things evil, Gore is–or would have been–the fount of all things good. The opposite of Bush Derangement Syndrome is Gore Idolatry Syndrome.

Bill Ramey

Nice
we have a new phrase added to the conservative lexicon

btw i’m surprised there is no reference to turning over the US military to the UN

Defector01 on March 31, 2007 at 10:42 PM

And then AIDS was cured. And Cancer was cured. And everyone on the planet had enough food to eat three times a day. And all the water on the planet was crystal clear and drinkable. The Ozone (if there is even a hole there still) closed up. And all of the extinct animals came back from extinction. And everyone on the planet realized that Algore was really Jesus in disguise. And . . .

Troy Rasmussen on March 31, 2007 at 10:48 PM

Ever wonder how the last six-odd years might have gone, had all the votes been counted in 2000?

They’ve been counted – Mr. Bush won, every time.

But this idiot reminds me of those times. Oh, the fun I had. It should be forbidden to have so much fun, for any human being. And Nov. 2004 was more so. I had all sorts of bets going with the ‘friends’ in Europe and here.

Gorefreude has grown in intensity, directly proportional with BDS, as he proceeded to make a bigger and bigger buffoon of himself. He could have shut up and remained a statesman.

The world was spared an 8-year continuous and boring LECTURE. And that voice of his, and the tone…oh, I can’t even contemplate.

Best of all is the idiocy on how these lefties get to live their lives on ‘what ifs’, while the rest of us live in reality, moment by moment.

Entelechy on March 31, 2007 at 10:56 PM

you know what would be a great alternative history of the last six years?

what if we never proceeded into iraq?

progressives would never have had to shelve their “silent genocide” accusations. nor the “harsh afghani winters” in the afghan pakistani mountains which have been the “graveyard for all invaders” defeatism. nor the “talibans suffocated in oil barrells” story. nor the uncal pipeline conspiracy theory. nor the….

jummy on March 31, 2007 at 11:00 PM

you all know how harsh i was with ann coulter over her idiotic remarks. one thing she said which was truer and plainer than monday follows teusday was written in a collumn about a month ago, when she said that if we never went to iraq, progressives would be calling afghanistan a pnac contrived war crime for oil.

jummy on March 31, 2007 at 11:06 PM

btw i’m surprised there is no reference to turning over the US military to the UN

Defector01 on March 31, 2007 at 10:42 PM

All in due time.

infidel4life on March 31, 2007 at 11:23 PM

The opposite of Bush Derangement Syndrome is Gore Idolatry Syndrome.

Go ahead Dems, make our day. Nominate the idiot.

smellthecoffee on March 31, 2007 at 11:39 PM

Quick, name an international coalition that Clinton/Gore brokered?

cmay on March 31, 2007 at 9:52 PM

The biggest, most expensive, waste of American Military Assets to China?

PinkyBigglesworth on April 1, 2007 at 12:54 AM

Sounds like “Phoenix Woman” would have liked my Saddam solution.

Jim Treacher on April 1, 2007 at 1:26 AM

Notice that during the 2006 elections there was very little said about chads, voting machine fraud, dogs being called out and disenfranchisements?

Wade on April 1, 2007 at 10:34 AM

It’s sad that dumpster diving into the fever swamps of Liberal World is really this easy nowadays. It used to be one had to go to some obscure website to catch the kooks in action.

Then, you had to search through the DU to find some good tidbits.

Now, you can visit virtually any major left leaning site and see pure insanity on a daily basis with no more then 10 minutes spent searching.

William Teach on April 1, 2007 at 11:25 AM

Another wonderful example of psychological displacement.

Aside from its definitional pattern of transferring intense emotions of anger, hatred and fear from their true source onto someone/something less threatening, another dead-givaway symptom of displacement is the “If Only” line of thinking: “If only ____ had/hadn’t happened, everything would be perfect right now.”

The classic example of this – until the 2000 election – was how the Nazis successfully played upon displacement of Germans’ anger and fear in the aftermath of WWI into Jew-hatred. “If only it weren’t for those dirty, greedy, back-stabbing Jews, Germany would’ve won the war and we’d be a great power today!”

Today’s American political left has its equivalent “if only” sigh about “Paradise Lost” in Gore’s defeat in 2000. “If only the crooked Supreme Court hadn’t connieved with the Evil BusHitler in denying Algore his rightful ascendancy to the presidency, everything would be perfect today and our enemis would love us.”

Just another avoidance mechanism on the part of liberals. Instead of dealing with realty as it is – because it scares them and fills them with ugly emotions like hatred, anger, supersititon and a lust for revenge – they childishly indulge in self-delusion and pointless “if only” wishful thinking.

What’s really bad about this kind of self-deceit and deceitfulness toward the outside world is that the more wedded they become to their delusions, the more devastating the psychic implosion would be to admit that their fantasies are just that – and the more virulent and eventaully violent their resistance to the real world becomes.

Spurius Ligustinus on April 1, 2007 at 11:35 AM

I found it funny she fantasized that Sandy O’Connor changed her vote not because it was the right legal decision, but because of a fever dream she decided AlGore! should win.

Not as funny as her timetable of having 50,000 UN and 100,000 US troops in Afghanistan four days after making the decision, but still pretty funny.

B Moe on April 1, 2007 at 11:41 AM

Hey, how awesome would America have been if the Goracle won in 2000?

You would see unlimited free love (the Don’t Ask-Don’t Tell policy of sexual relations); free prescription drugs (the Federal Drug Act), free medical, dental, auto, fire, flood, and home insurance (the Federal Insurance Act); and free Internet (The Federal On-Line Access Act).

You would also see $10.00 a gallon gas (the Auto Emissions Control Tax); mandatory blackouts after midnight (the Federal Energy Conservation Act); disbandment of a standing army (the Federal Militia Act); mandatory federal service for three years to qualify for collage that would be spend in th Federal Emissions Control Department as an armed Emissions Enforcement Officer (the College Access Act); restriction of web content as enforced by the Internet Purity Enforcement Board (the Internet Decency Act; also known as the no conservative web site act); the All America Votes Act that allows every person in America to cast a vote regardless of nationality (minors would be represented by their parents who would cast their vote for them until the age of 16); the Media Political Fair Play Act that would restrict all political commentary (including all Internet activity) to only those who run for or hold office in federally selected Majority Districts (you know, the ones that vote Democratic) and requires that all commentary be of a benign and/or flattering nature; The Reduce Obesity Act requiring all public food services to restrict caloric intake to federally mandated levels; the No Child Left Alone Act that mandates all pre-schoolers to attend federally supervised Education Clubs and requires all parents to have a government subsidized Federal Nanny to ensure kids are getting the proper nutrition, education, and political instruction lasting until the age of 21.

These are just a few of the wonderful things you would have seen in the last 6 years if Gore were president.

RedinBlueCounty on April 1, 2007 at 11:49 AM

I hear that Al Gore already has a mascot and a theme song for the Pre-School Education Clubs.

The mascot is a large blue donkey wearing a globe on his back and the theme song is thus:

I Love You,
You Love Me,
Always Vote Democratic Party!
If you vote another party instead,
All of us will soon be dead!

RedinBlueCounty on April 1, 2007 at 12:04 PM

Now, exactly why do they call themselves the reality-based community?

Gottafang on March 31, 2007 at 8:33 PM

For the same reason that Hollywood likes to gain credibility by tagging fiction with the label “based on a true story.”

It’s actually a very fitting description for them.

Misha I on April 1, 2007 at 12:06 PM

If Gore had won in 2000 I think we’d still ………. be …….. listening ……… to ………. his ……….. inaugural ……….. address.

fogw on April 1, 2007 at 2:07 PM

I find myself longing for the likes of Washington, Adams, Jefferson et al…

Doesnt anyone in this nation have a set anymore..

Viper1 on April 1, 2007 at 2:29 PM

And of course there would have been no 9/11, the eeevil Bush Cheney conspiracy couldnt have been implemented..

Viper1 on April 1, 2007 at 2:30 PM

I am thankful every day since the 2000 election that Algore did not win. Can you just imagine this world with him as CIC? Don’t even want to go there.

bjb on April 1, 2007 at 3:27 PM

Ready to do one of 2 things:
dig a hole,crawl in it and pull the dirt over me
OR
go starkers,riot the streets,hang from the lamposts all flag poopers,burners,screamers,
and others, just because they are so damn crazy,dumb,and MEAN, and we cant afford them anymore.No we cannot afford them.And we want to and need to- survive.
I wont take these bastards with me,into the future. Let them take care of themselves.

lizzee on April 1, 2007 at 6:06 PM

“Reality-based community.”

Professional rapist-employing (and amateur rape enthusiast) Udai Hussein helping transition to liberal democracy.

Feminists.

Heh.

TallDave on April 2, 2007 at 4:16 PM

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