Polar bear after meal: That was delicious, almost no bones, pink flesh, soft, savory, these humans are such good eating!

Our local Supermarket had dozens of police cruisers and officers, as well as detectives flooding the area for a few hour today.

A shopper was walking down the cereal isle before they let out a blood curdling scream!

They found a very large butcher’s knife embedded in a large box of Cherrios cereal.

The police put out an all points bulletin as they are closing down the state, all major highways, all shops, schools, hospitals, and business in search of the deadly perp.

The police released a notice.

Here is what that notice said:

“Ladies and gentlemen. Today we found a most horrific scene at the local supermarket. This crime has been repeated over the past few months in other stores. Large knives have been found buried in large boxes of cereal. Other boxes of cereal have been shredded and a large, sharp knife have been found each and every scene.

Please be advised and be cautious. We are looking for a cereal killer!

William

His list of future victims includes the spectacled bear, the Kodiak bear, the grizzly bear, the brown bear, and, after most of the bears are eliminated, and after the polar bear’s pup’s reign of terror has sufficiently struck terror into the hearts of all animals, sea life, insect, life, and humans as well, the little killer will move up to the African Bush elephant bull, the eagle, the rhinoceros, the hippo, and then it will be Asian, Europe, South America, Central America, and then the USA.

Watch out for this deadly polar pup! He has powers beyond anything you could possibly imagine!

William

“Haliburton’s no-bid contract for supplying bamboo to the Berlin Zoo. Google it.”

ScottMcC on March 27, 2007 at 1:46 PM

That is enough to start the process. Cheney is dead meat.

Dang, I’m hungry.

Obviously Haliburton killed Yan Yan.
JackM on March 27, 2007 at 1:42 PM

I have one thing to say:

“Haliburton’s no-bid contract for supplying bamboo to the Berlin Zoo. Google it.”

ScottMcC on March 27, 2007 at 1:46 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

That’s great…

…she died alone and no one immediately noticed that she had passed away.

An understandable mistake.

I remember waiting hours on line at the Bronx Zoo years ago to see the Chinese Panda’s that were on loan. When we finally got to the exhibit, the damn things looked dead anyway. No motion. Nothing. Wasted time. Might as well have been stuffed – you wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference and there would have been less mess.

Knut rules.

tormod: You don’t think people can tell when an animal is stressed out?

Darwinism in action? Read this posted from Hot Air:
I warned ya. Didn’t I warn ya?
Cause of death: a-cute shock.

Berlin Zoo denied media allegations on Tuesday that Knut the celebrity polar bear cub was responsible for the sudden demise of……

Abashed the panda stood,
And felt how awful cuteness is,
and saw Virtue in her own shape how lovely;
saw and pined her loss.

elgeneralisimo on March 27, 2007 at 1:48 PM

Nice…is that Haiku?

This has all of the earmarks of a hate crime.

LakeRuins on March 27, 2007 at 2:07 PM

Good one!

“Lots of people gave up on seeing Knut because of the long queues, so they went to see Yan Yan instead. She seemed intimidated and anxious,” wrote the paper, suggesting Yan Yan could have had a heart attack.

The paper can now tell what a panda “feels”? WTF…SOMEONE CALL PETA…