Lethally adorable baby polar bear claims first victim

posted at 1:14 pm on March 27, 2007 by Allahpundit

I warned ya. Didn’t I warn ya?

Cause of death: a-cute shock.

Berlin Zoo denied media allegations on Tuesday that Knut the celebrity polar bear cub was responsible for the sudden demise of one of its older attractions, a 22-year-old panda who was found dead in her cage.

Just four days after the euphoria over the debut of three-and-a-half-month-old “Cuddly Knut,” the mysterious death of Chinese-born Yan Yan stole the headlines in Tuesday’s German newspapers.

Top-selling Bild reported the influx of visitors to the zoo — about 30,000 a day — could have stressed the black and white bear, who spent much of her time lying on her back chomping at bamboo shoots.

“Lots of people gave up on seeing Knut because of the long queues, so they went to see Yan Yan instead. She seemed intimidated and anxious,” wrote the paper, suggesting Yan Yan could have had a heart attack.

Berlin Zoo denied any link…

“Our keepers were stunned. The sad thing is that because of the excitement around Knut, she died alone and no one immediately noticed that she had passed away.”

How many more, my friends? How many more?

knut.jpg


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oh my…an emotional battle is going on in my head!!

Cuddly polar bear cub vs. death of cuddly giant panda bear…

Having. Emotional. Meltdown.

tickleddragon on March 27, 2007 at 1:19 PM

if only we took appropriate action in time to stop the olson twins. we have that opportunity now.

jummy on March 27, 2007 at 1:21 PM

and yet the cub lives.

boosh!

jummy on March 27, 2007 at 1:22 PM

Ok, Then we will just post something to balance out all of that cuteness.

Mazztek on March 27, 2007 at 1:23 PM

Doggoneit, Allah! First I had to get my very cute daughter ready for school picture day this morning, and now THIS! I need some pretzels. A little salt with the sweet.

KelliD on March 27, 2007 at 1:30 PM

That little trouble maker!

How DARE that little Polar Bear be so cute and adorable and attract all those visitors to the zoo. Shame on him!

Now what should be done?

Should he be suspended?

Should he be aborted?

Should he be fined?

Should he go to rehab?

Should he go to sensitivity training?

Should he be forced to do community service?

What to do.

What to do.

William

William2006 on March 27, 2007 at 1:32 PM

It’s always the baby polar bear they least suspect.

YOU WANT THE CUTE? YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE CUTE!

If you can handle it, check out the live Pandacam.

Truthfully, it’s well within the safe range. Kinda cute.

saint kansas on March 27, 2007 at 1:35 PM

Those freaky animal activists are probably thrilled. The panda died of the “indignity” of being looked at. Jeez, if a species is that freaking fragile, I think the lefty evolutionists should agree that its time on earth is over because nature is phasing it out or something.

aero on March 27, 2007 at 1:39 PM

Obviously Haliburton killed Yan Yan.

JackM on March 27, 2007 at 1:42 PM

AP and I were the only ones warning everyone of this unstoppable killing machine. You all laughed, you told us to burn in hell. Now look. It’s rampage has begun. Don’t let its bloodlust continue unabated.

Club Knut!

lorien1973 on March 27, 2007 at 1:45 PM

Obviously Haliburton killed Yan Yan.
JackM on March 27, 2007 at 1:42 PM

I have one thing to say:

“Haliburton’s no-bid contract for supplying bamboo to the Berlin Zoo. Google it.”

ScottMcC on March 27, 2007 at 1:46 PM

Abashed the panda stood,
And felt how awful cuteness is,
and saw Virtue in her own shape how lovely;
saw and pined her loss.

elgeneralisimo on March 27, 2007 at 1:48 PM

Who will the next victim be?

vcferlita on March 27, 2007 at 1:51 PM

I knew Yan Yan, Mr. Knut and frankly you sir, are no Yan Yan.

bloggless on March 27, 2007 at 1:52 PM

So what are you saying, that the polar bear cub has some sort of psychic powers and he willed the panda bear to death? Or was it a cuteness stare down with the younger critter killing off the older member like is done so often in nature?
Any reaction from the grizzzly yet?

LakeRuins on March 27, 2007 at 1:56 PM

It’s that mean conservative polar bear cub that caused the death of the Panda Bear. He’s almost as bad as President Bush.

He should never have been allowed to live!

januarius on March 27, 2007 at 1:57 PM

Ah Man, at first they didn’t even notice Yan Yan was gone!!! Reminds me of “A Star is Born”.

bloggless on March 27, 2007 at 1:59 PM

I’m sure the animal rights activists who called for the cub’s death are feeling vindicated now!

taznar on March 27, 2007 at 2:00 PM

This is why I always keep my baby Polar Bears safely locked up in the closet–away from my exotic collection of Merekats and Komodo dragons. They’re just not to be trusted!

robblefarian on March 27, 2007 at 2:02 PM

Didn’t a Komodo Dragon try to eat Sharon Stone’s husband?

bloggless on March 27, 2007 at 2:04 PM

This has all of the earmarks of a hate crime.

LakeRuins on March 27, 2007 at 2:07 PM

That’s it – it’s hat-making time (well, after I make a panda bear coat).

steveegg on March 27, 2007 at 2:07 PM

“Lots of people gave up on seeing Knut because of the long queues, so they went to see Yan Yan instead. She seemed intimidated and anxious,” wrote the paper, suggesting Yan Yan could have had a heart attack.

The paper can now tell what a panda “feels”? WTF…SOMEONE CALL PETA…

tormod on March 27, 2007 at 2:18 PM

Speaking of Polar Bears Polar Bears seize terrorists and weapons cache

LakeRuins on March 27, 2007 at 2:22 PM

This has all of the earmarks of a hate crime.

LakeRuins on March 27, 2007 at 2:07 PM

Good one!

bloggless on March 27, 2007 at 2:27 PM

Abashed the panda stood,
And felt how awful cuteness is,
and saw Virtue in her own shape how lovely;
saw and pined her loss.

elgeneralisimo on March 27, 2007 at 1:48 PM

Nice…is that Haiku?

silenced majority on March 27, 2007 at 2:34 PM

If only Saint Cindy could have made it to his crib in time…

Readymade on March 27, 2007 at 2:39 PM

That stinks. The polar bear will only be cute for a year, tops, but pandas are cute forever.

tormod: You don’t think people can tell when an animal is stressed out?

Tanya on March 27, 2007 at 2:50 PM

…she died alone and no one immediately noticed that she had passed away.

An understandable mistake.

I remember waiting hours on line at the Bronx Zoo years ago to see the Chinese Panda’s that were on loan. When we finally got to the exhibit, the damn things looked dead anyway. No motion. Nothing. Wasted time. Might as well have been stuffed – you wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference and there would have been less mess.

Knut rules.

bofh on March 27, 2007 at 3:05 PM

Sharon Stone IS a Komodo dragon, bloggless.

thebookkeeper on March 27, 2007 at 3:06 PM

Maybe Knut needs rehab?

SCGOPgirl on March 27, 2007 at 3:09 PM

I say we all chip in for Robert Blake’s lawyer for the little fella.

Limerick on March 27, 2007 at 3:17 PM

Personally I suspect the Lemurs are behind this somehow….”Never trust a man with a prehensile tail”…that what my grandad used to say.

CBarker on March 27, 2007 at 3:19 PM

Didn’t know Rove trained bears.

right2bright on March 27, 2007 at 3:39 PM

Obviously Haliburton killed Yan Yan.
JackM on March 27, 2007 at 1:42 PM

I have one thing to say:

“Haliburton’s no-bid contract for supplying bamboo to the Berlin Zoo. Google it.”

ScottMcC on March 27, 2007 at 1:46 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

That’s great…

Bad Candy on March 27, 2007 at 3:55 PM

I’m surprised nobody questioned how Yan Yan could die alone and unnoticed when they’re blaming its death on overflow crowds seeing Yan Yan.

steveegg on March 27, 2007 at 4:42 PM

Timing. Questioned.

bernzright777 on March 27, 2007 at 4:55 PM

Just to be safe, let’s fry him up. Not the liver of course. Those things are deadly. Still, beer batter the rest of him, no?

Dang, I’m hungry.

Kevin M on March 27, 2007 at 5:02 PM

I blame global warning and my co-worker’s farting dog.

VikingGoneWild on March 27, 2007 at 5:04 PM

Death of a Panda Bear. Time for the Dems to create a committee, start the supeonas, begin the spin cycle.

“Haliburton’s no-bid contract for supplying bamboo to the Berlin Zoo. Google it.”

ScottMcC on March 27, 2007 at 1:46 PM

That is enough to start the process. Cheney is dead meat.

right2bright on March 27, 2007 at 6:14 PM

I saw the list of future victims of this nefarious polar bear pup.

His list of future victims includes the spectacled bear, the Kodiak bear, the grizzly bear, the brown bear, and, after most of the bears are eliminated, and after the polar bear’s pup’s reign of terror has sufficiently struck terror into the hearts of all animals, sea life, insect, life, and humans as well, the little killer will move up to the African Bush elephant bull, the eagle, the rhinoceros, the hippo, and then it will be Asian, Europe, South America, Central America, and then the USA.

Watch out for this deadly polar pup! He has powers beyond anything you could possibly imagine!

William

William2006 on March 27, 2007 at 7:40 PM

This whole, frightening incident with the polar bear cub has reminded me a most horrific incident taking place in our county.

Our local Supermarket had dozens of police cruisers and officers, as well as detectives flooding the area for a few hour today.

A shopper was walking down the cereal isle before they let out a blood curdling scream!

They found a very large butcher’s knife embedded in a large box of Cherrios cereal.

The police put out an all points bulletin as they are closing down the state, all major highways, all shops, schools, hospitals, and business in search of the deadly perp.

The police released a notice.

Here is what that notice said:

“Ladies and gentlemen. Today we found a most horrific scene at the local supermarket. This crime has been repeated over the past few months in other stores. Large knives have been found buried in large boxes of cereal. Other boxes of cereal have been shredded and a large, sharp knife have been found each and every scene.

Please be advised and be cautious. We are looking for a cereal killer!

William

William2006 on March 27, 2007 at 7:47 PM

Cindy Sheehan would have went back in time and strangled the damn cub if she was able to.

tommy1 on March 27, 2007 at 7:50 PM

First, the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man, and now this. The next time someone chooses the form of the Destructor, can we please make him look menacing?

Kralizec on March 28, 2007 at 2:18 AM

Cute little Polar Bear, no you can’t eat the Panda, no you can’t eat the baby seal, down boy, down, Oh No! (said Mr. Bill.)

Polar bear after meal: That was delicious, almost no bones, pink flesh, soft, savory, these humans are such good eating!

omegaram on March 28, 2007 at 3:22 PM