Heart-ache: Panda porn not working
posted at 9:06 pm on March 27, 2007 by Allahpundit
Are they giving him variety? Variety is key.
Maybe that’s the problem. How much variety within this genre can there really be?
Chuang Chuang the panda has been spending his days in front of a big screen television watching panda porn.
Authorities at the Chiang Mai Zoo in northern Thailand hope the images will encourage him to mate with his partner, Lin Hui, and serve as an instructional lesson in how to do it right.
So far, it’s been a tough sell, the zoo’s chief veterinarian, Kanika Limtrakul, said Tuesday.
“Chuang Chuang seems indifferent to the videos; he has no reaction to what he’s seeing on TV,” Kanika said. “But, we’re continuing to show him videos and hoping they will leave an impression.”
Exit question: Maybe the porn pandas are so attractive that he’s not into Lin Hui anymore? Just tellin’ you what I hear, buddy.
Blowback
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Now where are Billy Jeff and Monica when you need them?
profitsbeard on March 27, 2007 at 9:27 PM
Works for me. Did he pay his bill this month?
HerrMorgenholz on March 27, 2007 at 9:31 PM
Has anyone thought that the panda is meant for extinction?
They can only have babies once per year. Male pandas are too stupid to figure out the Rod A Slot B concept. And when females do give birth, they end up killing the baby.
Add to it, that their diet is WAY too strict (bamboo only, I believe).
They are simply chosen to go away. Let’s speed up the process.
Lock and load, baby.
lorien1973 on March 27, 2007 at 9:42 PM
Porn can desensitize. The real things ain’t good enough anymore b/c it is too vanilla. Just talking about the pandas and all of course.
RW Wacko on March 27, 2007 at 9:54 PM
No one insults porn on this blog, chump!
Allahpundit on March 27, 2007 at 9:55 PM
The female panda is not getting worked up enough, maybe panda porn produced by female pandas could solve the problem.
infidel on March 27, 2007 at 9:56 PM
All pandas look alike and Chuang is into koalas.
infidel on March 27, 2007 at 9:58 PM
Does panda porn come with the typical porn soundtrack?
Chris L. on March 27, 2007 at 10:14 PM
Just feed em extasy. That’ll get the freak goin’
lorien1973 on March 27, 2007 at 10:18 PM
Time for Vito to send in the polar bear and tell Chuang Chuang to straighten up.
Limerick on March 27, 2007 at 10:26 PM
At least the ‘banning hammer’ didn’t go up, yet…
Those frigid pandas – maybe they need financial enticements.
Entelechy on March 27, 2007 at 11:08 PM
the female panda is too hairy
Ropera on March 28, 2007 at 12:18 AM
It’s only going to make him need some Viagra when he’s with a real panda.
jjjen on March 28, 2007 at 12:27 AM
Have Chuang Chuang and Lin Hui been matched for 29 components of compatibility?
Buck Turgidson on March 28, 2007 at 12:57 AM
I don’t know but is that a censored bar I’m seeing on the TV? Kind of defeats the whole effect, don’t you think?
Gwillie on March 28, 2007 at 2:13 AM
Nice. Surely nobody from DKos or HuffPo will take that line out of context….
Anton on March 28, 2007 at 6:06 AM
Any animal too dumb to figure out how to “do it right” doesn’t deserve to survive. It’s Darwinism at work.
E L Frederick (Sniper One) on March 28, 2007 at 8:03 AM
Chuang Chuang’s probably spending all his time now on Second Life, walking around without his pants on outside the Edwards’ HQ and making obscene comments about how he’s man-panda enough for Professor McGonegle.
Steve LLamabutcher on March 28, 2007 at 8:20 AM
Michelle, do we need an official PRUDE for this site? Just curious.
tormod on March 28, 2007 at 9:07 AM
It’s a fact, dude. I’ve gone from getting excited by Christy Canyon to falling asleep to midget latex lesbian oil wrestling.
RW Wacko on March 28, 2007 at 11:32 AM
At the risk of insulting porn on this blog, let me say that the Naomi Wolf article was surprisingly good.
Attila (Pillage Idiot) on March 28, 2007 at 12:29 PM
Might I suggest some “toys” and/or lotion. Maybe some soft music and candles?
SPIFF1669 on March 28, 2007 at 2:31 PM
Panda porn, Hmmm. What I want to know is how did they train one to play the pizza delivery guy?
Buck Turgidson on March 28, 2007 at 4:27 PM