Goracle single-handedly creates new disease

posted at 1:58 pm on March 26, 2007 by Bryan

From the primordial leftwing ooze, Bush Derangement Syndrome arose. Symptoms include accusing President Bush of lying the US into war in Iraq, in the teeth of a mountain of evidence to the contrary.

Then, there was Post Election Stress and Trauma Syndrome, with symptoms including lingering fear, relationship breakups and “communal sadness.”

Now, we have a new lefty affliction: It’s called “eco-anxiety:”

Melissa Pickett, an eco-therapist with a practice in Santa Fe, sees anywhere from 40 to 80 eco-anxious patients a month. They complain of panic attacks, loss of appetite, irritability and unexplained bouts of weakness, sleeplessness and “buzzing,” which they describe as the eerie feeling that their cells are twitching.

“…their cells are twitching…” Or the suffering hippies just need a bath.

Whatever the source of the twitching, I say blame the Goracle who afflicts us all in one way or another:

The fears of the eco-anxious are fueled by abundant media coverage of crises like global warming, collapsed fisheries and food shortages. The Oscar-winning documentary “An Inconvenient Truth” warns that only 10 years might remain to avert a major environmental catastrophe.

Gore is betraying his fellow liberals. He’s playing on their fears. And his earth-healing powers make people sick. If he had a job, he ought to resign. I would suggest that he also purchase extra carbon offsets as penance, but that won’t do since he might end up just paying himself.

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“…their cells are twitching

Maybe they should use their money for offsets instead of crystal meth.

BacaDog on March 26, 2007 at 2:03 PM

Ha! Actually in that Photoshop he looks more like “Q” from Star Trek.

Dave Shay on March 26, 2007 at 2:05 PM

Melissa Pickett, an eco-therapist with a practice in Santa Fe, sees anywhere from 40 to 80 eco-anxious patients a month. They complain of panic attacks, loss of appetite, irritability and unexplained bouts of weakness, sleeplessness and “buzzing,” which they describe as the eerie feeling that their cells are twitching.

Is it just me or does this sound even more pathetic than those PEST morons after the ’04 election?

Wolfman on March 26, 2007 at 2:08 PM

The gorafice is using bad data for his infamous ‘hockey stick’ graph.

Everybody needs to read ALL of this.

It’s important. Global fraud. Send this to all your lib friends and relatives.

techno_barbarian on March 26, 2007 at 2:10 PM

Our Gore-acle is an angry, vengeful one! He hath brought the plague of “anxiousness.” How. Will. We. Ever. Survive?

Wineaholic on March 26, 2007 at 2:16 PM

PS – I love the touch o’ Pelosi in the corner. I nearly missed it the first time I looked.

Wineaholic on March 26, 2007 at 2:17 PM

This country is going straight down the toilet. Ugh.

robblefarian on March 26, 2007 at 2:19 PM

They keep quoting that 10 years till disaster time frame. If you factor in the time it took to make the movie and the amount of time the movie is out, we’re now down to 8 years (possibly less).

*Pause for skin twitching*

I propose that those of us that think Gore is full of it plan a giant party for the “10-year” deadline.

Of course, by then, the libs will be on to their “Next Big Crisis” (NBC)tm and they will not have any idea why we’re all celebrating.

JadeNYU on March 26, 2007 at 2:21 PM

I’m sorry, I couldn’t get past the first sentence here:

Melissa Pickett, an eco-therapist with a practice in Santa Fe, sees anywhere from 40 to 80 eco-anxious patients a month.

WTF is an eco-therapist? And how does such a person get 40 to 80 paid clients a month?

Well, Google supplies an answer to the first question via an article in Science Daily

I guess the implied answer to the second question is, “Move to Santa Fe and hang out a shingle.”

Being a Christian can be really inconvenient at times. I could make a mint off these people if I didn’t fear hellfire and damnation.

Anton on March 26, 2007 at 2:25 PM

I have a very good antidote for these people. They should read The Politically Incorrect Guide to Global Warming by Christopher Horner and Unstoppable Global Warming by Fred Singer and Dennis Avery.

Kevin R on March 26, 2007 at 2:26 PM

Due to operator error, the link to Science Daily in my previous comment didn’t work. Just type “eco therapist” into your favorite search engine and I’m sure you’ll find the article. It is entertaining reading.

Anton on March 26, 2007 at 2:27 PM

Is Gore riding Ted Kennedy? Oh wait…. wrong @$$.

E L Frederick (Sniper One) on March 26, 2007 at 2:28 PM

I remember some years ago, the eviro-nuts were protesting spraying for the mexican fruit fly in Calif. At the time of the spray, about 9 in the morning, a large rally was held and people began falling down coughing a passing out as the helicopters flew over. It was a devastating sight, 911 was called, para-medics had to treat people. The problem was…the wind had shifted and they did not spray. They just flew over.

Such is the liberal mind.

right2bright on March 26, 2007 at 2:31 PM

They keep quoting that 10 years till disaster time frame…
JadeNYU on March 26, 2007 at 2:21 PM

Reminds me of the bumpter sticker for a certain bar.

Free beer tomorrow

It is always 10 years from now, just our of our reach.

right2bright on March 26, 2007 at 2:33 PM

Whom can I sue for depression exacerbated by living in a BDS Colony? Will my heath insurance cover the cost to relocate me?

saint kansas on March 26, 2007 at 2:36 PM

Sounds more like Morgellon’s to me : http://www.morgellons.org/

bloggless on March 26, 2007 at 2:36 PM

Used to live in Albuquerque.
Only in Santa Fe could something this stupid take place. Yes, this is where dirty hippies go to die.

thomashton on March 26, 2007 at 2:40 PM

Actually, maybe we should call it “Goregellon’s Disease”. A dissease of the mind caused by an illogical belief in a imaginary eco-crisis. Symptons include panic attacks, loss of appetite, irritability and unexplained bouts of weakness, sleeplessness and “buzzing,” which they describe as the eerie feeling that their cells are twitching.

bloggless on March 26, 2007 at 2:40 PM

I beg to differ with you thomashton, the best hippie happy hunting ground is Carborro, NC.

bloggless on March 26, 2007 at 2:42 PM

Hmmmm. Never been there, but I do know that Eugene, Oregon can give Santa Fe a run for its money, so I won’t doubt you bloggless.

thomashton on March 26, 2007 at 2:46 PM

More like eco-chondria.

(Credit to Mark Steyn for inventing the term.)

aero on March 26, 2007 at 2:51 PM

Hey, now .. let’s be nice to this eco-therapist (giggle). She’s not just an eco-therapist, she’s also got extensive training in “Noetic Field Balancing.”

Heh .. and that statement should pretty well stand on its own.

yo on March 26, 2007 at 2:52 PM

Once the eco-maniacs find out most people think Mr 24% is full of it, there’ll be plenty of more patients. It has to be difficult realizing you’ve bought a load of bulls. On the upside, a far greater number think the Goracle is just plain crazy.

JammieWearingFool on March 26, 2007 at 2:57 PM

Of course, by then, the libs will be on to their “Next Big Crisis” (NBC)tm and they will not have any idea why we’re all celebrating.

NASA recently said they need $1 Billion to fund a search for Earth-destroying asteroids. So far we only know about 853 of them (list here:) http://cfa-www.harvard.edu/iau/lists/Dangerous.html

So there’s your NBC. Surely the Left can figure out a way to turn that $1 Billion into a bigger figure that will require us to shift resources to the third world. Perhaps an asteroid shield for Darfur?

Dave Shay on March 26, 2007 at 3:03 PM

Bryan, your link to the google search includes “1988″, I think you meant “1998″.

RightWinged on March 26, 2007 at 3:05 PM

I would suggest that he also purchase extra carbon offsets as penance, but that won’t do since he might end up just paying himself.

Then let me suggest the alternative, which is that he has to buy those carbon offsets from me. I’m probably going to have a tree cut down that’s too close to my house, and keeps digging in under the shingles and attacking.

I might be, um, persuaded to plant some new trees to take its place. I need some, you know, convincing.

The Monster on March 26, 2007 at 3:06 PM

Gore is the disease. Foot in Mouth disease. Diarrhea of mouth.
These have been around for many years.

Kini on March 26, 2007 at 3:09 PM

Santa Fe is a hellhole of New Agers,shamans,old hippies,all those kooks.That’s the main reason those of us that live outside of the town do our best to avoid it.
I live in southern Santa Fe county & they hate us down here,they think we’re all a buncha toothless,inbred rednecks.

Frantic Freddie on March 26, 2007 at 3:24 PM

sounds like plain old anxiety with paranoid delusions and a touch of schizophrenia..but I ain’t no doctor :)
But I bet these same ppl would have the same symptoms if they lived in the 50′s under the threat of nuclear war.

lsutiger on March 26, 2007 at 3:26 PM

Gorefreude!!!

Heh, top, right, of the picture is Ms. Pelosi, and right below her is Karl Marx. Then, to Gore’s left is Rob Reiner.

Melissa Pickett, an eco-therapist with a practice in Santa Fe, sees anywhere from 40 to 80 eco-anxious patients a month.

Heh, heh, Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame have a near-by place to register at, right away. It’s publicity potential, combined wiht eco-therapy.

Pickett’s remedies include telling patients to carry natural objects, like certain minerals, for a period of weeks. Making environmentally friendly lifestyle changes can also prove therapeutic, she said.

Time to renew counseling licenses for 2008, november. Income potential from TDS treatment is huuuuuuge!!!

Entelechy on March 26, 2007 at 3:28 PM

Ironic for the side of the fence that promotes wellness, yoga, tai-chi and meditation, not to mention ritalin, are always the one with these insane fears of things that are blown completely out of proportion. You mean to tell me these “free to be, you and me, hug a tree” cats aren’t using all this garbage that they claim is a good thing to relieve stress?

btw meditation is a good thing

Defector01 on March 26, 2007 at 3:34 PM

Is that picture in honor of Grease Palm Sunday?

Obviously in Congress every day is Grease Palm day. Look at Nancy’s “Pork n’ Surrender” bill.

ReubenJCogburn on March 26, 2007 at 3:43 PM

You just better hope that global warming is not completely disproven. I don’t think the world could handle that much post traumatic eco-anxiety disorder all at one time.

Kevin M on March 26, 2007 at 3:50 PM

I’d say that Sedona, AZ isn’t far behind Santa Fe with all these new age, hippie mystics, but I dunno I haven’t been to Sante Fe in 15 years or so.

As for Eco-therapists; puhh, give me a freakin break. A bunch of clown-shoes practicing pseudo-science. Savage is right in saying that liberalism is a mental disease, now they’re just creating a business sector to cash in on their own insanity, ha! Thanks a lot Goracle for making the world an even better place, the hits just keep on comin!

Roark on March 26, 2007 at 4:06 PM

Has anyone ever studied the long-term effects of tinfoil being in contact with the scalp? I think you might find that it’s the “root cause” of all of these liberal afflictions.

Eco-therapists, my @ss.

ReubenJCogburn on March 26, 2007 at 4:10 PM

The Gorafice make my skin crawl; is that my cells twitching ?

Mike O on March 26, 2007 at 4:13 PM

Dave Shay on March 26, 2007 at 3:03 PM

Killer asteroids?!?!

We need more funding. MORE FUNDING, I say! I don’t know what the current funding is, but, I do know that it is not enough.

Sure, those evil rich might love sitting in their huge mansions while the rest of us have ‘twitchy skin’ just thinking about the impending asteroid disaster, but, they’re just going to have to suffer.

No more blood for oil!

If Bush didn’t have us quagmired in Iraq, we’d be able to face the killer asteroid crisis head on.

Think of the children!

…..ummmm…..I think that’s all I’ve got in me. I want to know where the Batties get the energy to be freaked out about this stuff all the time. Perhaps it’s the energy that’s left over if you don’t go to work each day. Sadly, I don’t have that luxury. :(

JadeNYU on March 26, 2007 at 4:26 PM

…the best hippie happy hunting ground is Carborro, NC.
bloggless on March 26, 2007 at 2:42 PM

You noticed. 87% for Rep. Price

eeyore on March 26, 2007 at 4:41 PM

Well actually the Apophis asteroid is pretty legit and I don’t think nutroots will want to get behind it because it’s not a “man made” problem. Here’s the link, and yes, we should be boosting money to NASA for this…
http://impact.arc.nasa.gov/news_detail.cfm?ID=165

Roark on March 26, 2007 at 4:49 PM

The mere sight of Al Gore calms any fears I might have of a food shortage.

Jim Treacher on March 26, 2007 at 4:50 PM

liberalism is a mental disease, now they’re just creating a business sector to cash in on their own insanity, ha! Thanks a lot Goracle for making the world an even better place, the hits just keep on comin!

Roark on March 26, 2007 at 4:06 PM

Has anyone ever studied the long-term effects of tinfoil being in contact with the scalp? I think you might find that it’s the “root cause” of all of these liberal afflictions.

Eco-therapists, my @ss.

ReubenJCogburn on March 26, 2007 at 4:10 PM

Roark, considerations for your PHd thesis, some day :)

On a serious note, hurry up with your studies – 2009 and after c/b a bonanza for your profession.

Entelechy on March 26, 2007 at 5:07 PM

“…40 to 80 eco-anxious patients a month”

“Melissa Pickett, an eco-therapist with a practice in Santa Fe…”

Ah, free enterprise. Milton Friedman would be proud.

georgej on March 26, 2007 at 5:08 PM

You people…

Boulder, Colorado (home of Ward Churchill) is far and away the Liberal Moonbat Capitol of the Universe. Hate to burst your bubble, but, I’m just sayin’…

odrady on March 26, 2007 at 5:55 PM

You people…

Boulder, Colorado (home of Ward Churchill) is far and away the Liberal Moonbat Capitol of the Universe. Hate to burst your bubble, but, I’m just sayin’…

odrady

Its Berkeley/San Francisco, Boulder’s still fly over country to the ‘elites’, with Boulder and Vermont a close second

Defector01 on March 26, 2007 at 6:00 PM

Melissa Pickett is an unapologetic quack, not that anyone doubted that, but from her website http://energytherapy.net/practitioners/MelissaPickett.htm

Counseling and Spiritual Assistance Sessions
Noetic Field Energy Balancing*
DNA Activation
Ascended Master’s Clearing
Soul Fragmentation Clearing
Archangel Michael’s Chakra System Codes
Spiritual Acceleration Codes
Classes & workshops

I like one of her testimonials:

“Melissa found the switch on the wall and handed me the glue.” Mary, Atlanta

pedestrian on March 26, 2007 at 6:07 PM

What’s wrong with burning gas(oil)? It’s natural, man!

- The Cat

MirCat on March 26, 2007 at 6:51 PM

Well ‘cept for those anti-naturalists in the California legislature putting their evil human additives in it.

- The Cat

MirCat on March 26, 2007 at 6:52 PM

I look forward to when Global Warming caused solely by human activity is exposed for the hoax it is. We can then add Global Warming to Gore’s claim that he created the Internet as examples of credibility of the Left’s most cherished icons.

omegaram on March 26, 2007 at 7:13 PM

I remember reading an article that took place in Boca Raton FL (I think) where there was a therapist treating individuals who were traumatized by John Kerry losing to George W. Bush in the Presidential election.

I swear I am not making that up.

asc85 on March 26, 2007 at 8:30 PM

Soul Fragmentation Clearing

Oooh, that’s a GOOD one!

JimC on March 27, 2007 at 12:11 AM