Planet saved: Cow belch miracle cure set to debut
posted at 9:14 am on March 23, 2007 by Allahpundit
Why is this necessary? Doesn’t the Goracle’s firm already sell cow-fart offsets?
This’ll make for an amusing green-tinted clusterfark when PETA finds out they’re force-feeding bovine alka-seltzer to the cows. Fist-sized for extra comfort, too!
According to scientific estimates, the methane gas produced by cows is responsible for 4% of greenhouse gas emissions. And now, German scientists have invented a pill to cut bovine burping.
The fist-sized plant-based pill, known as a bolus, combined with a special diet and strict feeding times, is meant to reduce the methane produced by cows…
Prof Drochner wants to use the pill to trap some of the energy from the methane, which is naturally produced in the fermentation process when a cow digests grass and is later mostly burped out through their mouths. Until now it has been wasted.
“We could use the energy to boost the cow’s metabolism,” he said. The idea is that the cows would use the methane to produce glucose instead of passing it as wind. In turn this should help them to produce more milk.
Better hurry up. Meanwhile, Denver’s arson investigators are probing a rash of unauthorized carbon emissions involving fuel-inefficient vehicles. Note the detail about the inscription.
Blowback
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Oh my frikken GAWD
Mortis on March 23, 2007 at 9:22 AM
Feed it to congress.
right2bright on March 23, 2007 at 9:27 AM
I knew it! We were right to slaughter all the buffalo. Kit Carson and Buffalo Bill were Eco-warriors! How many needless methane deaths did they prevent? How many polar-bears remained chilly?
There has to be something around here to recycle that we can turn into a statue. Carson and Cody, Eco-Americans!
Limerick on March 23, 2007 at 9:30 AM
So three different SUVs burn in the same town and the police don’t see a link?
Slublog on March 23, 2007 at 9:33 AM
Just had a large burrito. Can you pass me one of them boluses? You’ll thank me.
stonemeister on March 23, 2007 at 9:35 AM
Hope the arsonists purchased carbon-offsets/indulgences.
As of last night, reports were vague on motives.
elpresidente on March 23, 2007 at 9:35 AM
What is the carbon offset value of a cowfart measured in GHTUs (Gore Hypocrisy Thermal Units)?
(Thanks Boss)
Dread Pirate Roberts VI on March 23, 2007 at 9:37 AM
I suspect that the city bus I ride in the morning is powered by human farts…or easily could be.
I love my bus.
saint kansas on March 23, 2007 at 9:37 AM
Bovine Beano!
And just in time.
Attila (Pillage Idiot) on March 23, 2007 at 9:41 AM
We’ve known this for a long time…
QUOTE: “…half of the bicarbonate of soda produced in
the U.S. is fed to cattle to partially neutralize the acid from high grain diets.” http://www.organicconsumers.org/toxic/feedlots.cfm
heldmyw on March 23, 2007 at 9:42 AM
Be a good environmentalist, eat red meat!
It’s a win-win situation…
sugiero on March 23, 2007 at 9:47 AM
Slublog – I saw that too:
No parallels? What about 3 SUVs, on the same night, in the same neighborhood? Hmmmm… Nope. Nothing in common there.
nailinmyeye on March 23, 2007 at 9:51 AM
Heldmyw beat me to it.
Anyone that’s been around cattle that have a corn — or other grains — diets know that they have to have bicarbonate of soda or they get sick.
Sorry you German mad scientists… this ain’t nothing new.
V5
V5 on March 23, 2007 at 9:55 AM
I fully expect this will inspire the Japanese to introduce a environmentally friendly car with a guernsey under the hood, giving new meaning to the phrase “hoofin’ it”. This will give way to a new age of transportation, driving down the price of oil and driving up hay futures in the world commodities markets. America will regain a foothold as the world’s fuel source. Economies of Middle Eastern countries will crash faster than Evil Kneivel on wet pavement, even while they request foreign aid from the U.S.
Republicans pass a bill to recognize the incredible achievements of Japanese technology. Not to be outdone the Democrats pass a cow flatulence bill titled “Pelosi/Reed Bullsh*t Act of 2007″.
India protests at UN Headquarters.
Holy Cow.
fogw on March 23, 2007 at 9:55 AM
It is starting to cool off outside already.
Valiant on March 23, 2007 at 9:58 AM
I hear the suppository is planned next…. wine bottle sized.
What could go wrong?
DWB on March 23, 2007 at 9:59 AM
You are the king!
Limerick on March 23, 2007 at 10:01 AM
A woman goes into the doctor’s office and says, ‘Doctor, you have to help me…I’ve got this problem: You see I can’t stop farting. I fart all the time, only they are silent and don’t stink. As a matter of fact, I’ve farted 20 times just now while talking to you’.
The doctor fills out a prescription and tells the lady: ‘here, take these and come back in a week’.
So she leaves and a week later comes back to the doctors office. ‘Doctor, doctor you must help me! Now things are worse. I’m still farting all the time, they are still silent but now they smell something awful. You must do something! What were those pills you gave me?’
The doctor replied, ‘Oh don’t worry, those pills where just to fix your sinus condition, now we’ll work on your hearing problem’.
there it is on March 23, 2007 at 10:18 AM
Just a note: the ‘greenhouse gas’ in question is methane, of course. Not mentioned by the Gorons is that levels of methane on the planet have been stable for the past couple of decades. The reason is not really known, but is thought to be because of improved agricultural practices: basically, the Chinese now produce as much rice as they did 30 years ago, but on 40 per cent less land!
Henry Bowman on March 23, 2007 at 10:26 AM
Keep repeating that, because that IS what it’s all about. Not enough attention is made to all the people making money off the “global warming” bulls–t.
liquidflorian on March 23, 2007 at 11:34 AM
Its not fair to lay all the blame on the cows ! Lions Tigers and bears do it too …. oh my ! And if you think that’s bad…. people also do it…. its rumored that even the Goracle has on occasion passed …. well never mind. But clearly, if the Goracle gets his way…. the cows aren’t the only ones that will be eating those fist sized pills.
But maybe before we all start taking “the pill” we should recognize that methane is a heavy gas and drops out of the air very quickly, that’s why it’s only a trace gas in the atmosphere and you need sophisticated equipment to detect any of it at all. Of course the closer you get to the feed-lot, the less sophisticated you equipment needs to be.
If there was really a lot of methane in the air, then every time you flicked your Bic you would set the world on fire…. and to my knowledge, that hasn’t been happening.
Maxx on March 23, 2007 at 12:52 PM
We can help!
Cow abductions by aliens may be the answer. And to think, we were all worried about our cows disappearing, when it may be a blessing in disguise.
http://www.cowabduction.com/
naliaka on March 23, 2007 at 1:22 PM
From the Politico: “Gore Wonks Out, Lets It Sort of Rip“
Attila (Pillage Idiot) on March 23, 2007 at 1:45 PM
Do these people not understand how the ‘Cycle of Life’ works?!!?? Methane is a compound that traps water(in itself) When you burn O2 and Methane (say like a brush fire) it creates water and CO2, which will help the vegitation to re-establish itself. BTW, too much O2 in an area will aid in forest fires. This whole thing, creates a balance. grrrrr
- The Cat
MirCat on March 23, 2007 at 4:11 PM
P.S. Vegitation left to die and rot will produce methane as well, so it doesn’t matter if anything is eating it or not.
- The Cat
MirCat on March 23, 2007 at 4:13 PM