For a limited time, I am offering Sobriety Offsets, which, for a fee based on the level of your consumption, allows you to indulge/abuse alcohol, reduce your etoh footprint, and most importantly, lecture other drunks about their indulgences with complete moral authority.

I am accepting all major credit cards and Paypal.

Does Hillarys carpet munching constitute cheating? Depends on the meaning of the word “chEAT”.

roninacreage on March 14, 2007 at 6:08 PM

And this assertion is from which credible source?

I wonder if this might have anything to do with Japanese infatuation with cartoon porn. They’re getting addicted to something that doesn’t exist.
Gregor on March 14, 2007 at 1:30 PM

You beat me to it Gregor. And a lot of the girls in anime are made to look like pre-pubescents. It seems pretty sick, but it’s definitely enermously popular in Japan. Even their regular porn tends to focus on the underage schoolgirl schtick quite a bit.

forged rite on March 14, 2007 at 1:56 PM

I think they like the amine because all of the real stuff has that digitized mask stuff.

brtex on March 14, 2007 at 2:01 PM

You guys seem to be quite the experts on this stuff – really hope you don’t share your keyboards with others.

Ever felt like cheating on your significant other, but just couldn’t handle the guilt? The answer is easy. Just buy some infidelity offsets and take advantage of someone else’s faithfulness.What is Cheat Offsetting? When you cheat on your partner you…

I have created http://www.CelebrityCarbonOffset.com and a blog ( http://www.CelebrityCarbonOffset.com/blog )to go with it for us common folk to buy and SEND OFFSETS TO the rich and famous – it’s so they can grow switch grass on their estates. And I really have the seeds. But again – it’s mostly to just make a point, heh heh.

You beat me to it Gregor. And a lot of the girls in anime are made to look like pre-pubescents. It seems pretty sick, but it’s definitely enermously popular in Japan. Even their regular porn tends to focus on the underage schoolgirl schtick quite a bit.

forged rite on March 14, 2007 at 1:56 PM

I think they like the amine because all of the real stuff has that digitized mask stuff.

I wonder if this might have anything to do with Japanese infatuation with cartoon porn. They’re getting addicted to something that doesn’t exist.
Gregor on March 14, 2007 at 1:30 PM

You beat me to it Gregor. And a lot of the girls in anime are made to look like pre-pubescents. It seems pretty sick, but it’s definitely enermously popular in Japan. Even their regular porn tends to focus on the underage schoolgirl schtick quite a bit.

In the U.S. we’re drawn to photos of Jessica Alba, Selma Hayek, and Eva Longoria. How do Japanese woman get the attention of men who fantasize about cartoons?

Just saying.

Update: If CheatNeutral’s looking for places to invest…

Must… Resist… Bawdy… Japanese… Pop Culture.. Joke…

Gaaaahhh!

Ok. I’m better now.

Hmm… I wonder if Bryan or Allah will sell me lewd-joke offsets?

For the record, the site’s a parody. 99% of you will have figured that out already, but there’s always that dopey 1% that needs to be formally notified of the joke.

So how do we notify all the people who don’t realize that “carbon indulgences offsets” are a joke too?

but there’s always that dopey 1% that needs to be formally notified of the joke.

I thought this was real :)

Savage, “personally, for me” is redundant :)

what would be the anatomical equivalent here of one’s “carbon footprint”?

Jimmy Carter – Heart images
Bill Clinton – Cigar passages
Fidel and Hugo – Baton highways (entire populace)
All Other – Dalliance footprints

Mr. Gore’s documentary will be renamed “An Inconvenient Exaggeration”; however, he will be forever credited for any-offsets and mega endorphin release.

Classic allahpundit.com excepted, of course.

Was that picture of Clinton taken the last time he looked Vince Foster in the eyes?

He might wanna put some ice on that.

Obama got his Muslim offsets at his black separatist church.

SilkyPony needs to buy some Breck offsets (hair spray CO2 emmissions are a little inconvenient)

From the sites Projects page: We at Cheatneutral are committed to saving relationships, promoting fidelity, and making people feel good about themselves. Our projects have a great success rate.

LOL Promoting fidelity by rewarding infidelity. That sounds like HillaryCare.

“The situation is dismal,” said Mr Kitamura, who blamed long working hours for his compatriots’ limp libido. “My research shows that if you don’t have sex for a month, you probably won’t have it for a year.”

It’s like the joke about the researcher who wants to investigate his thesis that happiness and frequency of sex are correlated. The study goes well, but there’s one guy who’s incredibly happy but reports he has sex only once a year. When the researcher asks how he could be so happy, the man replies, “Tonight’s the night!”

Allah, I think the equivalent would be “protein stain.”

Bad Candy on March 14, 2007 at 11:41 AM

Blue Dress on Ebay?

EL, that wouldn’t be the case if he had bought a Protein Stain Offset, that dress would’ve just hit the dry cleaners, and he would have been free to philander for another day.