Harvard dean offers freshmen support, guidance, more powerful orgasms
posted at 1:46 pm on March 1, 2007 by Allahpundit
I assure you, libertarians and feminists would support this more aggressively than social cons would ever oppose it. Why? Because the Enlightenment deserves nothing less than maximum shrillness and invective in its defense, baby.
It’s not that they’re offering sex-ed seminars that grates, although tips on “how to access pleasure” does strain the “ed” part a tad. It’s the fragrant, late-night-phone-sex-ad rhetoric being used by to sell it. Hot, hip Harvard Deans are waiting to talk to you:
Hooking Up: Hot Hints For Making Your Harvard (or Future) Sex Life Great…
Want to know more about how to access pleasure, how to communicate your desires and how to make sure that you’re getting what you want and need from your partner? Do you have questions about sex or sexuality that you’ve never had answered? You won’t want to miss this!…
In addition to sexxxxxy suggestions, come enjoy chocolate covered strawberries and HOT chocolate. Other snacks and opportunities to win prizes (including Amber’s book), as well as other great “stuff’ will be included.
Eh. The student organizers probably wrote the copy themselves, handed it to the Dean’s secretary, and it got printed up without a second glance.
Exit question one: the legal distinction aside, how do voluntary prayer periods in public schools put more “pressure” on 17-year-olds to conform than voluntary pleasure workshops at college do on 18-year-olds? And exit question two: what’s stupider, the five x’s in “sexxxxxy” or the all-caps for “hot” in “HOT chocolate”?
Update: See-Dub e-mails to say this is neither the most embarrassing Dean e-mail of the month nor the most embarrassing college sex story of the day.
Update: Changed “Dean” to “dean” in the headline, which is the correct capitalization and should stop some of the Harvard/Howard confusion.










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The five Xs.
Decoy256 on March 1, 2007 at 1:48 PM
At my age ‘sexy’ with one ‘x’ is plenty.
Limerick on March 1, 2007 at 1:51 PM
Then you’re doing it wrong, Limerick. I haven’t seen an ‘x’ in years. I just sey everything now, not do it.
a4g on March 1, 2007 at 1:53 PM
Okay, who else thought that headline said “Howard Dean” at first glance? Screaming orgasms, indeed.
ReubenJCogburn on March 1, 2007 at 1:56 PM
I haven’t even read the post yet… but am I the only one who read the headline:
Howard Dean offers freshmen support, guidance, more powerful orgasms
And thought of the obvious joke about how Howard Dean reacts when he has a powerful orgasm.
RightWinged on March 1, 2007 at 1:59 PM
I totally yell YAARRRRRRRGGHH during orgasms, myself. Dean inspired it.
lorien1973 on March 1, 2007 at 1:59 PM
I read Howard Dean.
right2bright on March 1, 2007 at 2:00 PM
everyone had the same joke at the same time :(
lorien1973 on March 1, 2007 at 2:00 PM
See-
See-Dubs second story is actually a HIGH SCHOOL sex story.
LakeRuins on March 1, 2007 at 2:02 PM
From the high school sex story:
I want to be in that special education class :(
lorien1973 on March 1, 2007 at 2:03 PM
So did I.
Bill C on March 1, 2007 at 2:03 PM
so what exactly happened?
Defector01 on March 1, 2007 at 2:04 PM
I think it might be easier for those who read Harvard to sound off. Reading Howard is half the reason I clicked on the link… just to see what nutty stuff that screamin’ demon was up to now.
Decoy256 on March 1, 2007 at 2:05 PM
Okay, so it wasn’t just me (who read Howard).
RightWinged on March 1, 2007 at 2:09 PM
I though Howard Dean was gonna be on TV talking about playing “hide the salami” again.
mattshu on March 1, 2007 at 2:28 PM
Yeah…’Howard’ was what I also saw….guess we are all Neo-con Pavlov doggies.
Limerick on March 1, 2007 at 2:30 PM
we’re all itchin for a fight.
right2bright on March 1, 2007 at 2:37 PM
oh,yeah….yeah….yeah…YYYYYEEEAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!
Kid from Brooklyn on March 1, 2007 at 2:39 PM
Needless to say, I read “Howard”, too. This is how you end up buying conditioner when you really wanted shampoo.
Kid from Brooklyn on March 1, 2007 at 2:41 PM
lol, this is so weird…. I was thinking it was just going to be me…. What does that really say about us? That we read Howard Dean? Nothing? Is it just that we expect him to do something idiotic, so that’s sort of the headline we expect? Speaking of which, they’ve really shut him up lately huh? Ever since they shut him up around 2005 for embarassing the DNC, he’s been a little more tame. He has the occassional outburst, but it used to be like more than once a week. Now we don’t hear from him for months at a time. But I guess that was a simpler time. (/yearns for those days)
RightWinged on March 1, 2007 at 2:52 PM
Howard Dean finally found best use for his vocal orgasms.
I know, I read y’all :)
Entelechy on March 1, 2007 at 3:05 PM
Try pronouncing “sexxxxxy” – nothing sexy about it.
Entelechy on March 1, 2007 at 3:08 PM
Be careful lorien, not to yell “South Carolina and Oklahoma and Arizona and North Dakota and California“. Very dangerous!
Entelechy on March 1, 2007 at 3:14 PM
I misread that as “Howard Dean” at first.
In fact, it wasn’t until I had skimmed the post for a fair chunk of time that I realized that it was not Howard Dean in question.
JamesVersusEveryone on March 1, 2007 at 3:24 PM
Me too.
It’s not Dyslexia, it’s a highly advanced sense of humor.
infidel4life on March 1, 2007 at 3:42 PM
Neither, it’s the scare quotes around “stuff”. Nothing like promising “protein” to reel ‘em in. Yeesh.
The Apologist on March 1, 2007 at 4:00 PM
I did it again!
JamesVersusEveryone on March 1, 2007 at 4:27 PM
Wow, the headline has been changed but I still read Howard Dean.
Maybe it’s because he hasn’t said or done anything completely asinine in what… 2 months?
billy on March 1, 2007 at 4:48 PM
It says Howard Dean, I don’t what you all are talkin about. Harvard? That’s a boring story. Howard? That’s a good story. Tabloid this Mofo up!
lorien1973 on March 1, 2007 at 4:58 PM
<voice style=”Fat Bastard”>Oh, Christ, I’m so sexxxxxy</voice>
<shudder />
The Monster on March 1, 2007 at 7:01 PM
Am I a complete dork?
I didn’t read Howard Dean.
urbancenturion on March 1, 2007 at 8:27 PM
No urbancenturian, we are the “dorks” – but we loved it :)
Entelechy on March 1, 2007 at 11:01 PM