A: Two. One to change the light bulb, and one to kill everyone in the room.

Which “Doom” is the “Doom” of “Dooms”………

A) Painful Doom

B) Evil Doom

C) Dreadful Doom

D) Heavy Doom

E) “Enter your Doom here” Doom

Winner will be awarded extra virgins by Allah……

(a) Islam: Death
(b) Islam: Destruction
(c) Islam: Desolation
(d) Islam: Dhimmitude
(e) Islam: Dismemberment

Please take your time.

These guys must have been busting ice picks through their skulls. More power to ‘em.

PS: I take answer “e” in the above comment. Yeesh.

The test posed questions on the minutiae of the prophet Muhammad’s life, including:

God’s prophet never ate food with

a) Two fingers
b) Three fingers
c) Four fingers
d) Five fingers
e) The Hand that he used to wipe himself with?

I never knew the Teacher’s Unions were on our side of the War on Terror………. Keep up the good work!

1. In Bukhari’s Hadith 2;26;666, who did the prophet say would “tear down the Ka’aba, brick by brick“:

A) a fat-faced commuter from Cairo.
B) a skinny-legged black man from Ethiopia
C) a crossed-eyed geek from Dubuque
D) a snot-nosed mullah from Qom.

2. When your wives are menstruating, did the prophet say you should:

A) avoid them like the plague
B) tickle their fancy with a camel’s tail
C) only fondle their breasts
D) go pound sand

The Hadiths are so chock full o’ such nuts that any test, if strictly based on the queasy quirks of Mohammad, would seem more like the world’s first Islamic joke book than the accepted tenets of a serious “religion”.

Extra credit essay topic:

Why did the prophet dye his beard henna color?

infidel4life on February 26, 2007 at 6:05 PM

I like that idea! Unless they build nukes here, we should be able to save the cuties.

And if we do use limited strikes, we need to be very careful not to alienate pro-western supporters.

csdeven on February 26, 2007 at 5:48 PM

Especially the cute ones.

Seriously, I think this may be an indication that a lot of Iranians, especially the educated ones, are very pro-western. My main reason for opposing an all out attack on Iran. And if we do use limited strikes, we need to be very careful not to alienate pro-western supporters.

csdeven on February 26, 2007 at 5:48 PM

Even better, I prefer the Michael Ledeen foment-a-revolution-from-within approach. I don’t know if our government is doing anything on that front, but if they aren’t, they should be, and if they are, they should be doing more.

(a) Water is to fire
(b) Garlic is to vampires
(c) Chicago Cubs are to World Series Championship
(d) All of the above