Report: Ted Haggard now “completely heterosexual”
posted at 12:05 pm on February 6, 2007 by Allahpundit
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Improbable, yes. Impossible? Heavens, no. Why, Ivanka Trump turned Andy Dick straight just a few nights ago on Jimmy Kimmel’s show.
You know what the freakiest thing is about Ivanka’s nuclear hotness? She really does look like Donald. Brrrr.
Anyway, Haggard’s back on the team and brandishing the unlikeliest excuse since Mel “Four-beer Nazi” Gibson:
[Rev. Tim] Ralph [a member of Haggard's oversight board] said three weeks of counseling at an undisclosed Arizona treatment center helped Haggard immensely and left Haggard sure of one thing.
“He is completely heterosexual,” Ralph said. “That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn’t a constant thing.”
Why Haggard chose to act out in that manner is something Haggard and his advisers are trying to discern, Ralph said.
He and his wife say they’re planning to go back to school to get their degrees in psychology, which led the advisory board to politely suggest they turn their attention to secular work henceforth instead of Christian ministry. I don’t see why the two should be mutually exclusive, but some good might come of it: those of us who belong to the “least trusted minority group in America” can use all the help we can get.
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A valid premise, but consider this:
If there is no God, we as humans (being the highest life form on this planet), having ‘evolved’ from lower life forms, would recognize and accept the fact that we ourselves are the highest life form we have ever come in contact with (and undoubtedly there are many who feel this way). There would be no knowledge, no experience whatsoever, of any beings other than that which is beneath us on the evolutionary ladder.
Yet from the beginning of recorded history mankind has spoken of his encounters and experiences with God in no uncertain terms.
Either evolution gave mankind the kind of imagination conspiracy theorists would kill for, or there is something to all this ‘God’ business…
infidel4life on February 6, 2007 at 11:00 PM
Lawrence on February 6, 2007 at 5:21 PM – Fully understood, and in the best of spirits.
right2bright, I’ve always been fond of you, and continue to be. You’ve overreacted, I believe.
I take 100% accountability for my mistakes. Believe me I have flaws, many, but not being accountable is not one of them.
Naming you and a few others, c/b many more, had nothing to do with my mistake w. Lawrence, which I fully own. It was a general statement about some of us occasionally asking for/demanding less accute language/attitude, when in reality we, some I listed and others, are not always living up. I’ll gladly retract your name is it means that much to you. Regards,
Entelechy on February 7, 2007 at 12:36 AM
Soothsayer has been banned from this site.
right2bright on February 7, 2007 at 12:41 AM
Just curious when it happened and what did him in?
jman on February 7, 2007 at 9:06 AM
jman, you can find it near the beginning of the comments for this thread from last weekend. I suspect it was a “last straw” kind of thing–the comment itself was an anti-Arab slur, but we’ve all heard plenty worse out of Soothsayer. Not everyone agrees with me (no surprise there), but I’d have banned him long before now myself.
http://hotair.com/archives/2007/02/02/video-imam-prays-to-stop-oppression-and-occupation-at-dnc-meeting/
ReubenJCogburn on February 7, 2007 at 9:27 AM
Thank you for the info.
On another note, another poster left a link to a Google search that brought up everything that soothsayer had ever written on this site.
I thought its an eye-opener and a nice reminder that what we post on this site (or any other) stays on record, so to speak.
jman on February 7, 2007 at 9:50 AM
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