Jermaine Jackson to Michael: Convert to Islam

posted at 5:24 pm on January 29, 2007 by Allahpundit

There have been rumors about it for years now. Jermaine says it’s time. It’s time to find peace.

Lucky for Muslims. I’m sure they’ll appreciate the good PR.

“Michael, I feel, needs to become a Muslim because I think it’s a great protection for him from all the things that he’s been attacked with, which are false,” said the former Jackson Five singer who now lives in Bahrain.

“There’s a strength and protection there,” Jackson told BBC Asian Newtwork after finishing runner-up to Bollywood star
Shilpa Shetty in the “Celebrity Big Brother” TV reality show that was marred by accusations of racist bullying.

Jackson said he believed his brother had given conversion “serious thought” during long spells in Bahrain.

“I was the reason why he had gone there because I wanted him to get out of America and just go somewhere it’s peaceful and quiet and people pray five times a day which is beautiful.”

First one to make a Mohammed/Aisha joke is banned for obviousness.


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I see a threat, and no posts. Apparently that was the first thing that popped into everyone’s minds.

I will resist the temptation …

One Angry Christian on January 29, 2007 at 5:30 PM

Would it be legal if we simply reduced the obvious joke to a cartoon instead?

TexasRainmaker on January 29, 2007 at 5:31 PM

First one to make a Mohammed/Aisha joke is banned for obviousness.

Aisha was a girl, so the analogy wouldn’t apply.

thirteen28 on January 29, 2007 at 5:35 PM

Jermaine Jackson to Michael: Convert to Islam

Your forgot the rest of the quote: “or else”.

Iblis on January 29, 2007 at 5:35 PM

I am putting in my reservation now for the YouTube vid of Michael trying to complete his seven circuits of the shrine in Mecca. It is going to be awesom!

Limerick on January 29, 2007 at 5:36 PM

No comment.

infidel on January 29, 2007 at 5:37 PM

Not to be insensitive, but doesn’t paradise also include young boys?

I’m just saying.

natesnake on January 29, 2007 at 5:40 PM

I think it’s great advice.

Once Michael converts:

Make a Michael Jackson joke and you are an islamophobe.

Attempt to prosecute Michael Jackson for pedophilia and you are an islamophobe. After all, if 9 year old girls are good enough for Mohommed, 9 year old boys have to be good enough for Michael Jackson.

JadeNYU on January 29, 2007 at 5:42 PM

Also, I don’t want to play the my religion is better than yours game, but, Jermaine started it…..

people pray five times a day which is beautiful.”

True, devout Muslims are supposed to pray 5 times a day. That’s beautiful.

Devout Christians are supposed to pray always. I’m not great at math, but, I’m pretty sure that always is more often than 5 times a day.

JadeNYU on January 29, 2007 at 5:45 PM

So I guess it will be ixnay on the Jesus Juice….

It’s just a scam to get a commercial deal with Mecca Cola.

rw on January 29, 2007 at 5:45 PM

On the plus side, Michael already has his own burqa.

ReubenJCogburn on January 29, 2007 at 5:45 PM

First one to make a Mohammed/Aisha joke is banned for obviousness.

you took all the fun out of this one…Why post it then?

Attempt to prosecute Michael Jackson for pedophilia and you are an islamophobe. After all, if 9 year old girls are good enough for Mohommed, 9 year old boys have to be good enough for Michael Jackson.
JadeNYU on January 29, 2007 at 5:42 PM

Darn close, seeya jade. / JUST KIDDING!

shooter on January 29, 2007 at 5:46 PM

Devout Christians are supposed to pray always. I’m not great at math, but, I’m pretty sure that always is more often than 5 times a day.
JadeNYU on January 29, 2007 at 5:45 PM

nice save.

shooter on January 29, 2007 at 5:47 PM

He does look good in a burqa.

Kini on January 29, 2007 at 5:50 PM

Is he going Splodeydope Islam or Fruitcake of Islam, Calypso Louis NOI-style?

JammieWearingFool on January 29, 2007 at 5:51 PM

Can;t wait to see the Mecca Cola commercial where his whole face catches on fire and then KABLOOIE!

bbz123 on January 29, 2007 at 5:52 PM

First one to make a Mohammed/Aisha joke is banned for obviousness.

Does the ban apply to cracks about Macaulay now having to grow facial hair? Will Jizya Juice now be served at Neverland?

Kid from Brooklyn on January 29, 2007 at 5:55 PM

Webster Akbar!

Jim Treacher on January 29, 2007 at 5:55 PM

First one to make a Mohammed/Aisha joke is banned for obviousness.

sulks away into the corner… grumble…

Hey! I went bedroom furniture shopping the other day. I went into the store, asked the lady for one night stand, and she punched me! I don’t know what happened!

Mazztek on January 29, 2007 at 5:59 PM

Attempt to prosecute Michael Jackson for pedophilia and you are an islamophobe. After all, if 9 year old girls are good enough for Mohommed, 9 year old boys have to be good enough for Michael Jackson.
JadeNYU on January 29, 2007 at 5:42 PM

Darn close, seeya jade. / JUST KIDDING!

shooter on January 29, 2007 at 5:46 PM

Wait! Was that the Mohommed/Aisha joke? Because I did that out of ignorance. Honestly. I was feeling really underinformed as I seemed to be the only one that didn’t know what a Mohommed/Aisha joke was. Apparently, I did know, I just didn’t know.

Does ignorance get you spared of the banhammer? Or does it mean you get double banhammered?

JadeNYU on January 29, 2007 at 6:11 PM

Advice to Jackson: Convert to Earthling

fogw on January 29, 2007 at 6:13 PM

Apparently, I did know, I just didn’t know.

JadeNYU on January 29, 2007 at 6:11 PM

Are you saying that you didn’t know before you did know?

John Kerry is that you?

armyvet on January 29, 2007 at 6:17 PM

Sorry I was going to make a joke about how 72 virgins in Heaven are now wishing they were elsewherejust at the idea of having to spend eternity with Micheal.

William Amos on January 29, 2007 at 6:19 PM

‘We are the world’
‘We are the children’
‘We strap on pretty bombs
‘and do some killin’

Limerick on January 29, 2007 at 6:21 PM

William Amos, they ran out of virgins. Scroll down a bit to see (number 5 or 6 :)

Entelechy on January 29, 2007 at 6:34 PM

First one to make a Mohammed/Aisha joke is banned for obviousness.

The internet has warped my brain. When I saw that sentence, this is the first thing that came to mind.

Slublog on January 29, 2007 at 6:41 PM

Are you saying that you didn’t know before you did know?

John Kerry is that you?

armyvet on January 29, 2007 at 6:17 PM

LOL.

It’s not that I didn’t know before I did know. It’s that I knew while not knowing that I knew. See? That’s what we call nuance.

I feel kind of dumb for not realizing what the Mohammed/Aisha joke was. I was busy trying to figure out if it was supposed to be a joke about Michael naming his kids Mohammed or Aisha instead of Prince…..

JadeNYU on January 29, 2007 at 6:43 PM

Moonwalking back to the 7th century, ironically cool!

Canadian Infidel on January 29, 2007 at 6:46 PM

I don’t think Tom Cruise will take this lying down, doesn’t he have a monopoly on celebrity conversions?

Resolute on January 29, 2007 at 6:55 PM

Go for it Michael, you already have the burquas.

Buzzy on January 29, 2007 at 6:58 PM

Shouldn’t that pervert join the human race first?

csdeven on January 29, 2007 at 7:05 PM

Well, he has to do something. Clearly, Christianity hasn’t been working for him.

And, Allah, you really should put a photo of Michael up there, not La Toya. After all, this post is about him.

ahem on January 29, 2007 at 7:12 PM


Advice to Jackson: Convert to Earthling

fogw on January 29, 2007 at 6:13 PM

Darn! Not quick enough.


Shouldn’t that pervert join the human race first?

csdeven on January 29, 2007 at 7:05 PM

Close second.

TugboatPhil on January 29, 2007 at 7:17 PM

What is this muhammad/aisha thing everyone’s talkin about?

Not trying to get anyone banned, honestly don’t know.

Scot on January 29, 2007 at 7:22 PM

Scot, Aisha was Muhammad’s 9 year old wife.

tickleddragon on January 29, 2007 at 7:27 PM

Since none of us know what sex Michael Jackson is at this stage of the game, I wonder exactly what the garb would be. Would he have to wear a burka? What?

RightWinged on January 29, 2007 at 7:31 PM

I think this plan to convert his ass is wonderful, it’s the first thing good I have ever heard of the perv..

retired on January 29, 2007 at 7:32 PM

Thanks tickleddragon.

Scot on January 29, 2007 at 7:37 PM

Scot, Aisha was Muhammad’s 9 year old wife.

tickleddragon on January 29, 2007 at 7:27 PM

To be more accurate, Aisha became Mo’s wife when she was 6 years old. He waited until she was age nine to consummate the marriage.

Canadian Infidel on January 29, 2007 at 7:40 PM

To be more accurate, Aisha became Mo’s wife when she was 6 years old. He waited until she was age nine to consummate the marriage.

Canadian Infidel on January 29, 2007 at 7:40 PM

What a great guy (for waiting until she was 9). He could never get away with that today… unless he moved up here to Vermont, where we don’t even seem to frown on that sort of thing.

RightWinged on January 29, 2007 at 7:50 PM

First one to make a Mohammed/Aisha joke is banned for obviousness.

That is so cold. Cold.

Kralizec on January 29, 2007 at 7:53 PM

Jermaine spends a few weeks in Britain and all of a sudden he’s a Muslim… why I am not surprised?

aengus on January 29, 2007 at 7:55 PM

William Amos, they ran out of virgins. Scroll down a bit to see (number 5 or 6 :)

Entelechy on January 29, 2007 at 6:34 PM

They ran out of FEMALE virgins.

William Amos on January 29, 2007 at 8:01 PM

Having delivered myself of that sentiment, I’ll add my somewhat more substantive thought, that Jermaine’s remarks seem like a public calling-out. All the talk of protection reminds me of the ninth sura of the Q’u'r’a'n’, in which muslims are told to give shelter to a hunted man, inform him of Islamic orthodoxy, and give him a chance to convert, under an implied threat of being turned over to the hunters. As much as I detest Michael Jackson for transforming himself into an undead Jackie-O, I’m even more horrified by Jermaine; his grisly altar-call a fine example as to why Islam merits the Maxim Gun.

Kralizec on January 29, 2007 at 8:02 PM

Oh geeze. Isn’t that like jumping from the frying pan into the fire? Mercy that boy is almost too far gone for redemption. I recommend a daily dose of Pastor Mario Murillo from L.A.

sonnyspats1 on January 29, 2007 at 8:29 PM

The last refuge of scoundrels. Idi Amin, after brutalizing Uganda for years, fled to Saudi Arabia and hid out there in exile as an abruptly devote Muslim, to avoid Ugandan justice. This was a guy who practiced witchcraft with all sorts of abominations, then conveniently embraced Islam.

naliaka on January 29, 2007 at 8:35 PM

Is this creature melting?

Maybe some zam-zam water will complete the job.

Can’t think of a better religion for him.

As Mohammad, the pedophile warlord put it:

Feel the everlasting torment.” -Jonah Sura, 10:52

profitsbeard on January 29, 2007 at 8:36 PM

“I was the reason why he had gone there because I wanted him to get out of America and just go somewhere it’s peaceful and quiet and people pray five times a day which is beautiful.”

I thought he went there because Islam isn’t as hard on child molesters as it is on, say, female rape victims.

Wolfman on January 29, 2007 at 8:38 PM

You’re most welcome, Scot. And thanks to Canadian Infidel for expanding on the info.

tickleddragon on January 29, 2007 at 8:45 PM

Anyone who likes little boys and goats (did I say that? Nope….) would fit right in.

Now if we can just get him to put on an Islamic Marytrdom belt and go see some of his Hollywood buddies, we’ve gained a real Convert! And the 72 virgins will be totally unemployed for eternity, right?

Heh!

jefferson101 on January 29, 2007 at 9:52 PM

What’s the sharia punishment for baby-dangling?

Buck Turgidson on January 29, 2007 at 10:08 PM

You’re most welcome, Scot. And thanks to Canadian Infidel for expanding on the info.

tickleddragon on January 29, 2007 at 8:45 PM

Most importantly, non-judgmentally tickleddragon!!

I’ve learned to not be judgmental because when I tell my god-daughter and her sisters (ages 14 to 23) about Mo and Aisha, it’s all cool, because that’s the Islamic culture and how things were done back then so it can’t possibly be wrong. Who are we to judge??

Canadian Infidel on January 29, 2007 at 11:27 PM

All I can say is thank goodness for Firefox and Adblock, so I don’t have to look at that hideous freak every time I visit this site for the next few days. Egads.

Hack Ptui on January 30, 2007 at 12:31 AM

Even Mohammed had a real nose. Guess where MJ will be skull-****ed.

Coronagold on January 30, 2007 at 8:08 AM

Unfortunately, Michael’s probably had his 72 virgins already.

Sorry
Please don’t ban me.
No, it was my evil twin, not me.

doufree on January 30, 2007 at 8:33 AM

Muslims pray 5 times a day…what does it matter HOW MANY “times you pray a day” when you are basically praying to the devil?

NRA4Freedom on January 30, 2007 at 12:27 PM

Now there’s a good idea…..

honora on January 30, 2007 at 12:35 PM

Makes sense. The Quran promises homosexual pedophilia. Jackson will fit right in.

Surah 52: 25 Round about them will serve, (devoted) to them, young male servants (handsome) as Pearls well-guarded. They will advance to each other, engaging in mutual enquiry.

You just can’t make this crap up. Islam, spit.

Timber Wolf on January 30, 2007 at 1:26 PM

Surah: 52:25 Round about them will serve, (devoted) to them, young male servants (handsome) as Pearls well-guarded. They will advance to each other, engaging in mutual enquiry.

Young boys promised in the koran. Right up Jackson’s MO. You just can’t make this crap up. Islam, spit.

Timber Wolf on January 30, 2007 at 1:28 PM

I don’t even know where to go here, that photo of him is soooo troubling, he looks like freakin Skeletor. How the hell would someone do that to himself, I’ve seen burn victims who who get put together better than that. His damn eye brows are PAINTED on!

Alden Pyle on January 30, 2007 at 6:46 PM