WaPo: Tinfoil-hat brigade building a community online
posted at 7:49 pm on January 14, 2007 by Allahpundit
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I thought they already had one.
Actually, the article’s about the real tinfoil-hatters: people who hear voices in their heads and are convinced beyond any doubt that those voices are (a) real and (b) being beamed in by the government as part of a clandestine military experiment in mind control. Another, inexplicable facet of the experiment: remote, electronically engineered genital stimulation of the test subjects. DARPA might be slow in bringing lightsabers to market, but it’s good to know they’ve got the orgasmatron on the horizon.
One sufferer says he’s essentially been imprisoned in an “electronic concentration camp.” Really? Then how come all the Jews are on the outside?
Gloria Naylor, a renowned African American writer, seems to defy many of the stereotypes of someone who believes in mind control. A winner of the National Book Award, Naylor is best known for her acclaimed novel, The Women of Brewster Place, which described a group of women living in a poor urban neighborhood and was later made into a miniseries by Oprah Winfrey.
But in 2005, she published a lesser-known work, 1996, a semi-autobiographical book describing her experience as a TI. “I didn’t want to tell this story. It’s going to take courage. Perhaps more courage than I possess, but they’ve left me no alternatives,” Naylor writes at the beginning of her book. “I am in a battle for my mind. If I stop now, they’ll have won, and I will lose myself.” The book is coherent, if hard to believe. It’s also marked by disturbing passages describing how Jewish American agents were responsible for Naylor’s surveillance. “Of the many cars that kept coming and going down my road, most were driven by Jews,” she writes in the book. When asked about that passage in a recent interview, she defended her logic: Being from New York, she claimed, she can recognize Jews.
A minor, complicating factor in this descent into amusing madness — the technology to do all this (except for the genital stimulation, damn it all) either already exists or will exist in fairly short order:
In 2002, the Air Force Research Laboratory patented precisely such a technology: using microwaves to send words into someone’s head. That work is frequently cited on mind-control Web sites…
A former Green Beret who served in Vietnam, [John] Alexander went on to a number of national security jobs, and rubbed shoulders with prominent military and political leaders… Now retired from the government and living in Las Vegas, Alexander continues to advise the military. He is in the Washington area that day for an official meeting…
Alexander also is intrigued by the possibility of using electronic means to modify behavior. The dilemma of the war on terrorism, he notes, is that it never ends. So what do you do with enemies, such as those at Guantanamo: keep them there forever? That’s impractical. Behavior modification could be an alternative, he says.
“Maybe I can fix you, or electronically neuter you, so it’s safe to release you into society, so you won’t come back and kill me,” Alexander says. It’s only a matter of time before technology allows that scenario to come true, he continues. “We’re now getting to where we can do that.”
Thanks to Attila, who has a photo series with balloon captions up that really brings back memories.
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I blame the CFR and the Masons.
.
GT on January 14, 2007 at 7:54 PM
Now see if Urban Outfitters really wanted to make money they’d start selling tinfoil hats! Wow, what a killing.
On second thought…I think I’ll start selling them on ebay!
I’ll even sell boxes to put your tin hat in!
armyvet on January 14, 2007 at 8:00 PM
Oh, almighty AP,
I think we kufir are about due for some classic AP balloon caption magic.
Chris L. on January 14, 2007 at 8:13 PM
Luckily for the Libs, most Jews are of their political persuasion, even though it’s hard to discern why…
…then again, maybe a few in the Air Force are conservative and it’ll all balance itself out, and not doom us for eternity.
Entelechy on January 14, 2007 at 8:24 PM
So according to Gloria Naylor, if you’re from New York, you automatically get issued Jewdar?
ReubenJCogburn on January 14, 2007 at 8:46 PM
There are no Mind Control Rays.
Why?
Because if the people who would build them had access to them, they would:
1. Use them on themselves to make themselves improve their physiques.
2. Use them On Women to “Get a woman/women”
3. Use them to make/take money to further their research.
So, if you go to a school reunion, and the physics club alumni are all uber-buff geniuses with Harems… then you will have confirmation that Mind Control exists.
OH. Nerds/geniuses (Myself included) are also vindictive (Forgiving, but vindictive).
If they get a Mind Control Device, expect any High School/college/other Bullies to suddenly change careers to somthing suitably embarassing.
Jones Zemkophill on January 14, 2007 at 8:52 PM
How old is this Gloria?
This is sooo weird…can it be a coincidence?
I was stuck with an African American woman named Gloria in Kenya years ago. She was from New York and was a nasty piece of work. She wandered around, pretended to be African and called all white people the same name, “cause I can’t tell them apart.” SHe did a lot of unsocial things, which would fill up a thread, but in this case she went out and bought rolls of tin foil, and a couple of umbrellas. She lined the umbrellas with the foil and set them on the ground with the handle up so that she could hang a cook pot from it and told everyone that it was a solar cooker, and that she was going to teach all the Africans, her people, how to make one. When she went to her gardening plot, where she was supposed to be learning how to start kitchen plots, she’d fill the bucket with water, position herself next to the 4 x 6 plot of tender seedlings, heave the bucket up and eject the water. It would hit the earth with a THUD and, no more seedlings.
She was kicked out of the program cause she couldn’t get along with anyone, of any color, and then wandered back three days later when everyone thought she’d left the country, and scared the daylights out of everyone, including the Africans. One of the other trainees ran up to show us her diary, “See? See what I wrote about her on Day three?” In the diary, dated two months before, was neatly written : Manic Depressive.”
naliaka on January 14, 2007 at 9:57 PM
Can I use the tinfoil to make a satellite dish on top of the hats so it will concentrate the messages from Karl Rove? I have an idea…
tormod on January 14, 2007 at 10:10 PM
the umbrella thing doesn’t work? Damn.
shooter on January 14, 2007 at 10:28 PM
Ok, ok….I bought one of those ‘orgasmatron’ thingy’s from Woody but where can I get my hands on one of those ‘brain control’ thingys. I got the cash. Except for the long recharge time on the ‘orgasmatron’ it has been a welcome addition to the family. This ‘brain’ thingy tho…wow…the possibilities. If you have one call me at 555-1212. Thanks.
Limerick on January 14, 2007 at 11:02 PM
LOL!
This is scary: Put it into this context: she was supposed to be training to help women with malnourished children. A tinfoil “solar cooker” was about a local’s year’s income worth of foil, plus the cost of the umbrella, and the waste of time a village woman might put into it, setting aside usful business, trying to make it work just to please the woman. Undernourished kids could have actually DIED waiting for their next meal.
naliaka on January 15, 2007 at 12:27 AM
The libs have been using a mind-control device for years. It’s called the television news.
Mojave Mark on January 15, 2007 at 12:41 AM
This goes well with the hats and might improve the reception…
Entelechy on January 15, 2007 at 1:01 AM
Crazy idiots. I hope they don’t vote.
Black Adam on January 15, 2007 at 3:09 AM
Its a good thing that the governments beaming technology doesn’t interfere with her Jew-dar.
BohicaTwentyTwo on January 15, 2007 at 9:19 AM
I was going to comment on the tin foil hats, but I have to document the contrail paths before the black helicopters show up today. (I think the pilots are Jews)
TugboatPhil on January 15, 2007 at 11:46 AM
If Bethanys’ (Real Verse) disappearance is annoying to you, don’t even try bothering me, I won’t hear you. (Thanks for paying attention though.)
(If there are those that think, “Jeez, let it alone already, we all know this crap”, I’m gonna make it my point to know. The internet is a very big place, don’tcha know.
And off I go! Wish me good luck. There may be those willing to counter you & me, so pray it really hard.
Coronagold on January 15, 2007 at 11:41 PM
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