Heart-ache: U.S. soldier cops to playing “Happy Flowers” during Iraq interrogations
posted at 4:09 pm on January 12, 2007 by Allahpundit
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On the Heart-ache-ometer, I’d say it falls somewhere between fake menstrual blood and Korans being pretend-flushed down toilets.
Important detail: one of the band members calls himself “Mr. Anus.”
The triggerman was within 50 meters of a house. We go to the house and of course the gentleman living there has seen nothing. We had questioned this guy before and not gotten any information so this time, we put him in the Humvee, tell him we are taking him with us and start playing “Mom, I Gave the Cat Some Acid” over and over.
After about an hour of Happy Flowers and being told that we don’t want to take him, and that if he would tell us what he knows we will take him back home, he finally tells us who the triggerman is, where we can find him, where other bombs are hidden and ID’s 3 corrupt policemen. All without having to threaten, imprison, or break any of our rules of conduct.
Remember when Steve Harrigan got waterboarded just to see if he was man enough? Well, here you go; you can thank Jim Treacher. Click the image to listen.
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But the soldier had to listen to that crap for an hour, too. Doesn’t that count for something? He’s a stronger person than I am, that’s for sure. I would have told him anything he wanted to hear within seconds.
aero on January 12, 2007 at 4:15 PM
Disturbing. I’m pretty sure that this sort of thing was done by Stalin’s goons in the gulags.
The mind reels.
What have you done, Mr. Bush? What have you wrought!?!?
Sorry, must have been channeling Dick Durbin. I feel better now.
Fred on January 12, 2007 at 4:16 PM
This crap makes me want to remove my eardrums with a rusty coat hanger. Poor hajji never stood a chance.
Kid from Brooklyn on January 12, 2007 at 4:18 PM
FABULOUS!
PinkyBigglesworth on January 12, 2007 at 4:19 PM
Heh.
Theworldisnotenough on January 12, 2007 at 4:24 PM
Our guys are just so damn clever. First silly string and now Happy Flowers. BTW that song sounds like my house on any given afternoon. :-)
KelliD on January 12, 2007 at 4:24 PM
I guess Andy Sullivan and Sen. Durbin were right.
We ARE like the
Natzi,Natsi,Nazsi, terrorists.EFG on January 12, 2007 at 4:25 PM
At long last, sir, have you no decency?!
Jaibones on January 12, 2007 at 4:26 PM
Melt Banana is another good band when it comes to making entertainingly awful “music.”
Jim Treacher on January 12, 2007 at 4:27 PM
Exactly. The Leftists have been right all along; this war destroys the humanity of our soldiers.
Heh.
Jaibones on January 12, 2007 at 4:29 PM
I question the Cartoons!
Mazztek on January 12, 2007 at 4:33 PM
AP… THAT was nasty, but torture?
I couldn’t finish listening and now I’m forced to reconsider what really constitutes torture.
Thanks a lot!
CliffHanger on January 12, 2007 at 4:33 PM
You aren’t kidding. Just googled them.
My ears wish I hadn’t.
Slublog on January 12, 2007 at 4:33 PM
Wow, that is pretty rough. Ha! Has that creepy, industrial sound to it. I think the Quake soundtrack by Nine Inch Nails would probably work to creep out some jihadi detainees too.
CP on January 12, 2007 at 4:34 PM
In the Army there are jokes about performance report bullet comments saying something like this, “his people follow him just to see where he will go.”
That’s how this was. I listened to a minute of it just to see where it was going. Can I please have that minute of my life back now? Please?
Oh my gosh, that was awful. I worked with interrogators many times and helped debrief even. This is where I would have taken a break and gone out of the room.
I would have admitted to anything after that.
armyvet on January 12, 2007 at 4:38 PM
Shoulda tried Barry Manilow – Mandy would have broken him in half the time.
jeffshultz on January 12, 2007 at 4:44 PM
What an amazing story. I am stunned by what I just heard. Hard to believe someone lasted that long with that blaring in the ears.
The great part? Fifty years from now they will say we broke them with music.
right2bright on January 12, 2007 at 4:53 PM
The band members of The Happy Flowers are pretty much Librul Moonbats, as far as my interactions/conversations with Mr. Horribly Charred Infant (Mr.HCI). Ain’t it great our Troops take the “musical art” of MoonBattery and use it for a purpose which MoonBattery would never approve of. And that is winning the War on Terror! More on The Happy Flowers and comments about this unauthorized(?)use can be found here:http://www.stompandstammer.com/forum/index.php/topic,1536.0.html
BRYHERB on January 12, 2007 at 4:53 PM
MooHammad or ILLah cartoons perhaps?
I can’t wait to read the next set of ROE’s that come out…
Should’ve tapped his foot, off beat to boot, and asked for a safety pin…
In no gest give the warrior an attaboy for thinking on his feet. No blood no foul…
You should be,
GoingThere on January 12, 2007 at 4:54 PM
It’s just my kids with a soundtrack, what’s the big deal?
mesablue on January 12, 2007 at 5:04 PM
Hey, hey, my, my
Rock and Roll will never die
Pablo on January 12, 2007 at 5:10 PM
Outrageous.
Rick on January 12, 2007 at 5:11 PM
That evil bastard Rumsfeld, he’s everywhere now that he’s no longer the sec-def. What about Cheney? Why don’t we have him threaten the detained with a potential hunting trip….oh the humanity…
ritethinker on January 12, 2007 at 5:15 PM
Wait a minute now that IS torture. =P
bj1126 on January 12, 2007 at 5:22 PM
All of your cartons are belong to us.
batperez on January 12, 2007 at 5:51 PM
Oh geez. My 13 year old nephew just asked if could download it from iTunes.
.
GT on January 12, 2007 at 6:04 PM
progressives defy parody pt. 5,876,435
and to think we laugh at the idea that playing music constitutes torture.
jummy on January 12, 2007 at 6:08 PM
I didn’t make it halfway through that….what do you want to know??
TugboatPhil on January 12, 2007 at 6:10 PM
Wait, Are you SURE this wasn’t Hillary Rodham Clinton? I could’ve SWORN…
Teal on January 12, 2007 at 6:46 PM
That’s 3 minutes that I won’t get back….
Lonevoice on January 12, 2007 at 7:16 PM
Musically, I’d have opted for:
Jamie Brockett’s “The Ballad of the USS Titanic”
Anne Murray’s “Teddy Bears’ Picnic”
Gordon Lightfoot’s “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald”
Emerson, Lake & Palmer’s “Carn Evil #9″
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young’s “Suite Judy Blue Eyes”
Procol Harum’s “Whiter Shade Of Pale”
Harry Chapin’s “Taxi”
And if all else fails:
Frank Zappa’s “Dinah Moe Humm”
Jimi Hendrix’s “Star Spangled Banner” from ‘Woodstock’
Jack.
Jack Deth on January 12, 2007 at 7:18 PM
Melt Banana? Good Lord, I guess I am old.
BacaDog on January 12, 2007 at 7:44 PM
Mr Bungle: Ma Meeska Mow Skwoz (the demo version) would be my choice of auditory assault.
Ugly on January 12, 2007 at 7:50 PM
Dude, does Hillary Clinton know we’re using her voice to break the terrorists?
Pretty funny stuff. I think I’d compromise with my interrogators; stop playing this and you can flush me down the toilet.
austinnelly on January 12, 2007 at 7:54 PM
But they’re using “the children” to make them talk and that’s just not very Leftish. Is it?
auspatriotman on January 12, 2007 at 8:39 PM
Did anyone else hear the “brown note” in there?
8^(
Spiny Norman on January 12, 2007 at 9:49 PM
Mildly amusing, though I can see how it would get on people’s nerves after about thirty seconds or so.
(…at least it wasn’t “Fish Heads”)
Patrick Chester on January 12, 2007 at 10:46 PM
Hey, pal. We’ve got some mercy in us…heh.
major john on January 13, 2007 at 12:54 AM
Fish Heads?
I took a Fish head
out to see a movie
Didn’t have to pay
to get it in…
Spiny Norman on January 13, 2007 at 1:01 AM
Music soothes the savage beast…
serenity on January 13, 2007 at 10:29 AM
Well, hey, at least they didn’t make ‘em watch “The View”!
15 seconds of that and you’ve got my car keys, my ATM card, and my 401(K). “Take it! Take it all! Just please turn off that horrible noise!”
Rosie and Joy, both talkin’ at the same time! ACK!
Tony737 on January 13, 2007 at 10:58 AM
Psyops will never be the same.
What ever happened to good old tunes like “Weasels Ripped My Flesh” by Zappa? (Purportedly what broke Dick “Turbin” Durbin permanently back in 1982.)
Or “Una Paloma Blanca” by Slim Whitman?
(Yodeling can fry the avergae human cortex in minutes.)
Or “You And Me Against The Word”? (Preferably the kazoo band version.)
If they could blare Happy Flowers along the entire Iranian border for a month straight maybe we’d be getting somehwere with Mahmoud and the mad mullahs.
No krytons could withstand the ultrasonics for long.
As Shakespeare put it: “Play On“!
profitsbeard on January 13, 2007 at 11:10 AM
Slim was pretty lethal to those Martians, in Mars Attacks!!
TugboatPhil on January 13, 2007 at 11:23 AM
Just played the clip for my 10-year-old daughter. She thought it was hilarious and asked if it could be put on her iPod.
iTunes store is temporarily unavailable right now. Hmmmm. . .
Gottafang on January 13, 2007 at 1:34 PM
‘Muskrat Love’ always worked for interrogating bad guys back in my days as a cop! ;-)
CanuckInPA on January 13, 2007 at 2:04 PM
I just spent the last 2 days (with my bro and sis-in-law) in a car with my 7-mo niece and 3 yr old nephew.
Talk about torture.
As much as I love them, I would gladly listen to Happy Flowers for a couple of hours, over another road trip with my niece and nephew.
F15Mech on January 13, 2007 at 5:49 PM
I question the (song’s) timing.
Buck Turgidson on January 13, 2007 at 10:45 PM
Save the Children?
Emmett J. on January 14, 2007 at 8:53 PM
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