Video: Cookin’ with Ham

posted at 4:51 pm on January 5, 2007 by Allahpundit

It’s about deficits or something. I couldn’t really follow along because I was checking out what she was making, and…

Am I seeing this right? Are collard greens involved in this recipe? What on earth are you southerners eating down there?

Stay tuned for next week’s episode, in which MK whips up a tasty bouillabaisse made from grass and cardboard. Click the image to watch.

ham-cooking.jpg

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Are those black-eyed peas?

Dear heavens. My grandmother used to make us eat those things on New Year’s Day because she thought it would lead to good luck.

Heck of a way to start the new year – choking down those little nuggets of nasty while pretending I liked them so the old gal wasn’t offended.

Slublog on January 5, 2007 at 4:55 PM

I do declare, ya’ll just don’t know whatcha missin’.

A bit of Hoppin’ John on New Year’s Day is the correct way to start the new year.

KelliD on January 5, 2007 at 4:59 PM

Collard greens and black-eyed peas, all cooked up with some fatback? Delicious, and I dont want to hear any different. Yall are crazy. Seriously, its yummy.

marykatharine on January 5, 2007 at 4:59 PM

Have I mentioned that I just got “Civil War” for my Xbox and have been merrily popping mad caps in southern asses?

No more “collahds” for you, Johnny Reb! *BANG*

Allahpundit on January 5, 2007 at 5:02 PM

Am I seeing this right? Are collard greens involved in this recipe? What on earth are you southerners eating down there?

Residing currently in Texas and being formerly from MKH’s home state, I totally co-sign with her and the other southerners on this thread. You really don’t know what you’re missing AP. Really.

Hope she does fried okra in the next Ham Nation ;)

thirteen28 on January 5, 2007 at 5:03 PM

I liked the piece, but it was really wacky! Discussing deep political issues while cooking?

And yes…I understood why she did it. But I still thought it came off wacky…whatever the synonym might be for a “visual non-sequitur.”

asc85 on January 5, 2007 at 5:08 PM

OK Bryan. This offends Southern sens’o'bilities. Do your duty. Collard greens should never be insulted in this manner. That goes for fried okra, too!

.

GT on January 5, 2007 at 5:08 PM

What time is dinner?
I’d even try getting thru this 6 feet of snow we have here south of Denver for a hot meal cooked by anyone but me…but especially MKH. Ham Nation has more than one meaning,huh.

shooter on January 5, 2007 at 5:08 PM

For all of our southern readers out there, let me just say…

I’m outraged!

EFG on January 5, 2007 at 5:13 PM

And have I mentioned that I got Civil War for my PS2, and have been tagging my quota of Yankees, Scalawags and Carpetbaggers for the last week?

I wish I were in the land of cotton, where southern belles and deep fried greens were not forgotten. Look away, look away, look away, Dixieland. (Elvis’ version).

That’s OK though Allah. You keep your Schumer-like sensibilities, and I’ll keep my Sessions-like senators and we’ll call it even.

Jack M. on January 5, 2007 at 5:15 PM

your Schumer-like sensibilities

Now you’ve crossed the line.

Tonight I’m going to replay Pickett’s charge, over and over and over…

Allahpundit on January 5, 2007 at 5:18 PM

I didn’t see the cornbread, but I could smell it. Damn, now I’m hungry, LOL.

MostlyHarmless on January 5, 2007 at 5:19 PM

It’s a little-known fact that collard greens are nature’s most perfect food.

But if you’re going just for taste, you can’t beat blackeyed peas with fatback and raw onion poured over cornbread.

There’s something terribly wrong with you, Slublog.

Bugler on January 5, 2007 at 5:19 PM

Johnny Yuma, was a rebel. He roamed, through the west.
And Johnny Yuma, was a rebel, he wandered alone.

He got fightin’ mad, this rebel lad. He packed his star as he wandered far.
Where the only law was a hook and a draw, the rebel.

there it is on January 5, 2007 at 5:20 PM

Don’t forget, you have to let the collards get bit by the frost before you pick’m. Also, a dash of vinegar to taste while on the plate.

.

GT on January 5, 2007 at 5:22 PM

IT IS SOOOoooo fabulous.

I made Black-eyed peas and “greens”(spinach salad–a modern cheat because collards are messy and dirty and STIIIIIINK)AGAIN this New Year’s Day. It is SO a Southern thing! ANd it is always done for luck—they look like money.

I USED MY LEFTOVER CHRISTMAS HAM SHANK (by tradition,as well)TO MAKE STOCK TO DIE FOR…then did the peas in the Crock Pot. The chilluns LOooooooove it. They aren’t picky eaters. Most folks in the South who know a thing or two about poverty, don’t raise picky eaters.

Lately, HAM has more PATRIOTIC UNDERTONES IN OUR SOUTHERN HOME.

And HAMster…..GOOOOOOooooooooooo DAWGS! Sic’em!

seejanemom on January 5, 2007 at 5:34 PM

Oh…and PAULA DEEN has NOTHIN’ on you, girl.

Except two hundred pounds and a LOOOOOVE for JIMMAH.

seejanemom on January 5, 2007 at 5:38 PM

“because I was checking out what she was making, and…”

Surrrre that’s what you were checking out. ;)

All that and she can cook and you were just looking at the food…

Intelligent, witty, pretty, southern, christian…is there a place I can order me one of those? :P

Benaiah on January 5, 2007 at 5:39 PM

It’s a little-known fact that collard greens are nature’s most perfect food.

But if you’re going just for taste, you can’t beat blackeyed peas with fatback and raw onion poured over cornbread.

Um…pass?

I’m a southern boy by birth, too, but prefer brisket in a warm tortilla with some pico de gallo.

The meal of choice up here is pretty awful, though. A “boiled dinner.” Ham, potatoes, carrots, onions all put in a pot with minimal spices and boiled until everything is basically the same color.

There’s something terribly wrong with you, Slublog.

You have no idea… :-)

Have I mentioned that I just got “Civil War” for my Xbox and have been merrily popping mad caps in southern asses?

You have a 360, AP?

I’m the last guy on earth without one of those puppies. I’ve been making do with my regular old Xbox.

Slublog on January 5, 2007 at 5:42 PM

You have a 360, AP?

Yup, got it for Christmas. Have had about six free hours total thus far to play it.

Being a full-time blogger has its disadvantages. Albeit not many.

Allahpundit on January 5, 2007 at 5:43 PM

I, for one, request a side of grits along with my bagel and lox.

Kid from Brooklyn on January 5, 2007 at 5:46 PM

Son of a…

I’M FINE, THOUGH. I don’t need to play those newfangled games like “Gears of War,” or “The Civil War.”

Nope…perfectly okay with Max Payne 2.

Yup…juuuuust fine.

Slublog on January 5, 2007 at 5:46 PM

If you eat collards, blackeyed peas, ham and cornbread on New Years Day, you are guaranteed prosperity for the coming year. And it works! Not to mention it is mouthwateringly delicious!

labwrs on January 5, 2007 at 5:46 PM

I made Black-eyed peas and “greens”(spinach salad–a modern cheat because collards are messy and dirty and STIIIIIINK)

seejanemom on January 5, 2007 at 5:34 PM

They only stink if you don’t keep enough water in the pot and overcook’m.

.

GT on January 5, 2007 at 5:52 PM

Now you’ve crossed the line.

Tonight I’m going to replay Pickett’s charge, over and over and over…

It’s a Friday night, and A-double-lizzle is going to stay in and exact vengeance on pixelated Confederate soldiers instead of going out?

And they say the South lost that War.

Jack M. on January 5, 2007 at 5:53 PM

Tax cuts or tax hikes aren’t the answer (I say this with near zero real economic expertise but here it goes). Control the spending. I love veggies and all that MKH but instead of cutting collards, perhaps you should’ve been cutting pork.

Yakko77 on January 5, 2007 at 5:55 PM

SUBLOG

If you goto http://www.snopes.com they have a New Year’s Myths post that talks about your black eyed peas serving Grammama.

Mazztek on January 5, 2007 at 5:56 PM

Don’t tempt the economists, Yakko.

Those people are crazy.

Slublog on January 5, 2007 at 5:59 PM

Careful Allah, We North Carolinians Birthed andd Perfected Barbeque.

Also….. we dispose of the bodies of critics in the swamps…

GOD I love this state. Libby Dole, Dick Burr, and Walter Jones presiding.

Ringmaster on January 5, 2007 at 6:00 PM

Have I mentioned that I just got “Civil War” for my Xbox and have been merrily popping mad caps in southern asses?

No more “collahds” for you, Johnny Reb! *BANG*

Allahpundit on January 5, 2007 at 5:02 PM

Careful there AP, besides, I got it for my PC and funny thing is, the South is winning this time.

ArkCon on January 5, 2007 at 6:06 PM

Allah – Is Civil War any good? I’m a big fan of COD2 (COD3 is good, but it tries to do what Battlefield 2 does without doing it as well). Word to the wise, stay away from any online clans. They suck you in and pretty soon you’re scheduling practices just so you can win your next clan match. My poor roommate’s video game playing days have never been so dreary.

Ringmaster – Everyone with at least a halfway decent set of tastebuds knows that Kansas City has the best BBQ in the world. ;)

MKH & Other Southerners – You guys appear to have gotten off easy. I’m not sure where the tradition comes from (my father says it’s from his Irish grandfather) but we got to eat pickled herring for good luck on New Year’s Day. I’d trade that for black eyed peas and collared greens any day.

JadeNYU on January 5, 2007 at 6:24 PM

An added bonus of cooking greens with salt pork is that after you strain the greens you have another Southern delicacy, pot likker, which belongs in the pantheon of famous soups like the aforementioned bouillabaisse, and vichyssoise. Huey Long, when he was in the Senate, tried to get it declared the national dish. His bill failed due to Northern prejudice against Southern culinary excellence.

rivlax on January 5, 2007 at 6:28 PM

I’m with AP – and I’m from the south. Collard greens are foul. Black eyed peas are worse. I don’t know what is up with some southerners and food that looks like it was vomited up by a cockroach.

lorien1973 on January 5, 2007 at 6:55 PM

Stay tuned for next week’s episode, in which MK whips up a tasty bouillabaisse made from grass and cardboard.

If MKH makes it with her bathwater, count me in for seconds!

(Did I write that out loud?)

mikeyboss on January 5, 2007 at 6:56 PM

The bait, oh the bait.

I need to get a good source for greens. I already got my North Carolina country ham fed-exed to me before Christmas, hallelujah.

Anwyn on January 5, 2007 at 7:04 PM

Don’t tempt the economists, Yakko.

Those people are crazy.

Slublog on January 5, 2007 at 5:59 PM

I have little doubt of that. LOL!!!

Besides, economists often times are little different than politicians in that they all have an opinion and the opposing opinion will destroy/save the world depending on your POV.

How does the old saying go, “Your opinion and a dollar will get you a cup of coffee anywhere.”?

Yakko77 on January 5, 2007 at 7:10 PM

Have had about six free hours total thus far to play it.

Allahpundit on January 5, 2007 at 5:43 PM

AllahP got 6 hours off since Christmas??
The boss must be gettin’ soft on us.

CyberCipher on January 5, 2007 at 7:47 PM

Mary Katharine,

Please tell me you had country ham, buttermilk biscuits and redeye gravy for breakfast.

REAL country ham, not that watered down, sugary crap they call ham “up north”.

BacaDog on January 5, 2007 at 7:58 PM

Don’t feel bad Slublog. The only game system i have is my old Atari that i got in the mid 80′s if i remember right.

I had my black eyed peas this New Years!

Scot on January 5, 2007 at 8:01 PM

Scot – That’s a darn good system! Pit Fall, River Raid, Jungle Hunt, the list could go on and on.

My favorite game was ET. Imagine my surprise when I tried to get a copy of it years later and everyone laughed at me because it’s supposed to have been the worst game ever made for the Atari. First of all, I was 3 when I fell in love with the game. Second of all, they’ve apparently never had the pleasure of playing Indy 500, a game so glitchy that the cars can’t be controlled…instead they just drive through the ‘walls’ until they finally cross the finish line.

JadeNYU on January 5, 2007 at 8:04 PM

Mary Katharine,

Please tell me you had country ham, buttermilk biscuits and red-eye gravy for breakfast.

REAL country ham, salted and fetched from grandpa’s smokehouse. Not that watered down, sugary stuff they call ham up north.

BacaDog on January 5, 2007 at 8:05 PM

Scot – that was a fun system. Those old games are still enjoyable.

Timewaster.

Slublog on January 5, 2007 at 8:23 PM

Ringmaster, as a fellow North Carolinian, I agree with all but one point. Liddy, bless her heart, is a turncoat, and has needed more than her share of headslaps in the last couple years. Big disappointment, that woman has been in several cases. Burr and Jones – I say hurrah!

Say, Allah…in that there Civil War game, does it show those multitudes of immigrant slave labor that was bein’ utilized to make y’all’s weapons? I bet it don’t!! ;o) Jk.

tickleddragon on January 5, 2007 at 8:33 PM

JadeNYU, you guys just smother the meat in a thick sauce and call it barbeque… Who the hell really knows what you’re eatin’ if it’s hidden? NC bbq – simple, light and delicious. And my word..you can tell what it is.

;)

tickleddragon on January 5, 2007 at 8:36 PM

Lucky for me, SondraK managed to locate a can of black-eyed peas for our New Years Day feast but alas, you simply can’t find good collard greens west of the Mississippi. Not to mention they stink your house to high heavens.

Though I am curious about one thing……whether MKH prefers eastern or western-style North Carolina barbecue.

I know what my pick would be ; )

The Ugly American on January 5, 2007 at 8:39 PM

I love black eyed peas but I can do without the collard greens.

EnochCain on January 5, 2007 at 8:41 PM

TUA..Eastern, Yeah!!

tickleddragon on January 5, 2007 at 8:46 PM

Hell yeah…..

The Ugly American on January 5, 2007 at 8:48 PM

Black-eyed peas.

from a can?

billy on January 5, 2007 at 9:09 PM

MK can cook in my kitchen anytime.

WasatchMan on January 5, 2007 at 9:43 PM

I am curious about one thing……whether MKH prefers eastern or western-style North Carolina barbecue.
The Ugly American on January 5, 2007 at 8:39 PM

Ms Ham hails from Durham (that’s pronounced as a slightly elongated “derm”), which is WAY east of where they use that western-NC so-called barbecue sauce.

Anytime I pass anywhere near, I detour to Bullock’s to pick up a sliced sandwich with slaw. You don’t have to die to go to heaven!

eeyore on January 5, 2007 at 10:31 PM

Second of all, they’ve apparently never had the pleasure of playing Indy 500, a game so glitchy that the cars can’t be controlled…instead they just drive through the ‘walls’ until they finally cross the finish line.

JadeNYU on January 5, 2007 at 8:04 PM

That game was hilarious. The team field/court games (Football, Soccer, Basketball) were also inasne. My old-time faves though were Combat and Slot Cars, not to mention decent arcade ripoffs like Dig Dug, Pac Man, Space Invaders, … And does anyone remember Superman(TM) or Star Raiders? Pushing the envelope of what could be done on low-order bits…

Lucky for me, SondraK managed to locate a can of black-eyed peas for our New Years Day feast but alas, you simply can’t find good collard greens west of the Mississippi. Not to mention they stink your house to high heavens.

The Ugly American on January 5, 2007 at 8:39 PM

Massive doses or new lemon Oust to the rescue… thank you, Johnson Wax! And with the $1-off coupon stuck to the can it’s almost affordable…

Though I am curious about one thing……whether MKH prefers eastern or western-style North Carolina barbecue. I know what my pick would be ; )

So, you’d pass up a good butt in order to go for the whole hog, is that what you’re saying? ;-)

RD on January 5, 2007 at 10:35 PM

Massive doses or new lemon Oust

Oops… that’s “Massive doses of new lemon Oust”

RD on January 5, 2007 at 10:38 PM

Combat ruled. I actually have an Xbox disc that has all the old Atari games on it. A friend and I played Combat, Pong and all the rest for hours.

It was fun.

Made me feel old, though.

Slublog on January 5, 2007 at 10:48 PM

Agree with those who loved Combat and Superman. Also Adventure.

mikeyboss on January 5, 2007 at 10:55 PM

Combat ruled. I actually have an Xbox disc that has all the old Atari games on it. A friend and I played Combat, Pong and all the rest for hours.

I know the Xbox is powerful enough to render movie graphics and crack RC5 in the background while running any ot those old Atari games, but it still sounds like a great use of the ‘box. May have to pick one up soon (used is okay w/me too)

It was fun.

Made me feel old, though.

Slublog on January 5, 2007 at 10:48 PM

Yep. Was uncommonly fortunate to get an Atari w/just about every game ever made from an enthusiast, who handed it all over for little more than a token payment. Handed it over myself, LS&B, to a needier & younger kid several years later. That was 20 yrs ago…

The only hardware I really regret giving up is the Apple IIe – should’ve held onto it. Can’t run those obscure one- and two-liners on a IIe/c emulator and get quite the same behavior. :-)

RD on January 6, 2007 at 12:56 AM

I would recommend it.

The name of the disk is Atari Anthology. The menus are odd, and some of the controls are funky, but it’s a lot of nostalgic fun.

Slublog on January 6, 2007 at 1:11 AM

Wow! I did’nt think anyone would remember those games anymore! They are really good games, especially for the time. I actually held the record for the Actavision Dragster game for a while. At the end of the race, the screen would freeze with your time on it and you would take a polaroid picture of the screen and send it into Activision. Once they verified it, they would send a certificate to you confirming you held the record.

And thanks for the link Slublog! Those games play just like the real ones! I even bookmarked it! Brings back memories of playing them in the arcade while songs like this played in the background.

Scot on January 6, 2007 at 2:58 AM

Eastern barbecue, of course.

marykatharine on January 6, 2007 at 3:03 AM

Allah, I recommend mustard greens if you really want to take a walk on the wild side. That’s what my grandma used to make. Thanks to her, I can keep anything down now.

And don’t be too quick to disparage our southern veggies. Please note that our “greens” are some of the (apparently) few that haven’t killed anyone e. coli-wise. It’s a medical fact… look it up.

SailorDave on January 6, 2007 at 8:33 AM

On a different but similar culinary note, I can’t help but notice the odd blog ad with some sort of pilloried effigy chef next to a large chicken holding a sign that says “KFC Tortures Chickens.” I didn’t bother to click the ad, so I can only assume it’s some sort of bizarre off-shoot of the whole Gitmo controversy.

SailorDave on January 6, 2007 at 8:45 AM

Allah, I recommend mustard greens if you really want to take a walk on the wild side. That’s what my grandma used to make. Thanks to her, I can keep anything down now.

Heh. Ever had fiddleheads? My grandmother (the northern one) used to make those with vinegar. That and dandelion greens. Egads…makes me think those people on Survivor who are unable to eat horrible things never had grandmothers with weird tastes.

marykatharine on January 6, 2007 at 3:03 AM

Now that’s dedication to defending barbecue.

Slublog on January 6, 2007 at 10:22 AM

Please note that our “greens” are some of the (apparently) few that haven’t killed anyone e. coli-wise…
SailorDave on January 6, 2007 at 8:33 AM

That’s because of the lengths we go to destroy any bacteria with extremely high heat over extremely long duration.

I was at a family reunion when someone showed up 2 hours before lunch with a “mess” of fresh greens. The folks cooking said “Great looking greens! Too bad there’s not enough time to do anything with ‘em before lunch.”

eeyore on January 6, 2007 at 10:38 AM

BacaDog…mmmm..redeye gravy. And, might I add to everyone that the cornbread that goes with the collards has to be fried. (or does it just go without saying?)

serpentineshel on January 6, 2007 at 10:56 AM

Cornbread, by definition, is fried. That isn’t water in the old Griswold making that sizzling sound when the batter hits it….thats grade A BACON DRIPPINGS, baby! Can I hear an “AMEN!”?

Praise The Lord!!

ALOHA SNACKBAR!

seejanemom on January 6, 2007 at 11:32 AM

Am I the only one that’s considered cultivating ramps indoors in order to get my ramp on anytime?

(Yeah, I thought so.)

Come on, springtime.

Readymade on January 6, 2007 at 11:54 AM

Another good site for the old games is here. You have to register, but it’s free.

Slublog on January 6, 2007 at 12:01 PM

A word from Christian songwriter (he wrote”Mary, Did You Know?”?) and commedian Mark Lowry about Northern cooking:

“I did a children’s pastor’s banquet for about a thousand children’s pastors from all over the world, not long ago, and they had a—you know it’s hard to cook for a thousand people. I’ve never tried it but I’m sure it is. They had a steak, and a baked potata, and a salad, and then they had this moon-shaped, orange colored vegetable on the plate. I’d never seen a moon-shaped, orange colored vegetable in my life. And I picked it up and bit into it, and it was just nasty, it like it crunched, and it was—had no flavor. And I asked ‘em what it was, and they said it was sweet potatas.
I said “Sweet potatas aren’t s’posed to crunch.” Sweet potatas are s’pose to come of the oven on Thanksgiving morning will marshmallows on top of them, and nuts down in ‘em, and juice all through ‘em, they’re not s’pose to crunch. Do-rit-os are supposed to crunch!
And I was up North, I admit I was up north, and, and, and they lady said, “Oh dear brother Lowry, we don’t overcook our vegetables here in the North. We don’t wanna cook the vitamins out of the vegetables.”
*pause*
I said, “For goodness take a pill and cook the vegetables.”
You can get all the vitamins you need in a One-A-Day. You don’t wanna be chewing on a One-A-Day. Have you ever bit into a vitamin pill? They taste awful cuz they got vitamins in ‘em! That’s why you need to cook those vegetables so the vitamins are gone to they’ll taste better.

-Cook that broccoli till it’s yella, then pour cheese sauce over it! Die young, make a pretty corpse, that’s my philosophy! I want my blood going through my veins: “Xcuse me!” “Pardon Me” “Comin through!” “Pardon me!”

-Mashed potatoes with a lake of gravy in it.

-FRIED chicken! Don’t bake that – - leave the skin on that chicken, don’t make that bird die in vain. Fry that chicken.

-And don’t put sugar in your cornbread either, that is not of God. Sugar in the cornbread is cake. When you bite into cornbread, it’s s’pose to suck 90% of the moisture out of your body.

-Put the sugar in the tea, that’s where it goes. NOT that pink stuff it causes cancer. I tell ya, I like my tea so sweet if you run out of syrup you can pour it over your pancakes.

Random Numbers (Brian Epps) on January 6, 2007 at 12:20 PM

eeyore…you had some good cooks there. Everyone knows you boil everything out of them but the color. If it still has texture, it’s not done.

SailorDave on January 6, 2007 at 4:48 PM