Report: Did a golem cause the damage to the two Lebanese ambulances?
posted at 9:15 am on January 4, 2007 by Allahpundit
The Democratic Humanist Institute for Multicultural Internationalism (DHIMI) follows up on Human Rights Watch’s investigation.
This is a long, long way to go for a joke, Ragnar. But it’s a good one.
I find the “magic missile” theory to be the most persuasive. An excerpt follows.
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Can someone please put us out of their DHIMI misery?
seejanemom on January 4, 2007 at 9:23 AM
Damn Gandolf and his evil ways!
zerodamage on January 4, 2007 at 9:24 AM
Silly; but, ah, the memories…
urbancenturion on January 4, 2007 at 9:24 AM
Magic missiles were first introduced by the Clinton administration, replacing the less effective cigar cannon.
Source: M. Lewinsky
fogw on January 4, 2007 at 9:31 AM
And once again I am reminded that ice cream has no bones.
Freelancer on January 4, 2007 at 9:33 AM
MAYBE IT WAS ONE OF THESE!!!!!!!
seejanemom on January 4, 2007 at 9:37 AM
I agree that the Magic Missile theory is the most plausable one I have heard so far. Oh, and the meteorite theory is complete nonsense.To my knowledge, there’s only one meteor gun in existince and we all know that the Xur and Ko-Dan armada are incapable of penetrating the Frontier. Then again, can we really trust the STAR League to protect us?
BohicaTwentyTwo on January 4, 2007 at 9:40 AM
Is Golem some kind of science fiction character?
It would be hilarious because it has a pretty definitive meaning in Yiddish: GOLEM.
WriterMom on January 4, 2007 at 9:53 AM
Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!
James on January 4, 2007 at 10:03 AM
The photo on the front page link to the story is from the 1919 movie version of the story. The character would be considere more fantasy and legend than sci-fi. Below the definition on WIKIPEDIA they give a pretty good background of the stories it came from.
52Ranger on January 4, 2007 at 10:20 AM
After seen what can happen to a Gazebo, and the “darkness” this is entirely possible. I bet Zombie didn’t think of that when he wrote his essay; that will cost him experience points.
liquidflorian on January 4, 2007 at 10:38 AM
Oh joy of joys! I knew their would be a day when my political news was mixed with my love for Wizardry Fanstasy! I need to get on a MMORPG post haste!
StoutRepublican on January 4, 2007 at 10:41 AM
Is that Sally Struthers in the pic on the right?
greggish on January 4, 2007 at 10:49 AM
Golem = Smeagol, and he died a fiery death.
Kinda adds to the immolation theorists.
shooter on January 4, 2007 at 10:57 AM
SEE!!! I KNEW IT!!! It’s those D&D PLAYING HIPPIES FAULT!!!
One Angry Christian on January 4, 2007 at 11:03 AM
Agreed, that’s a good gag, but everyone knows a real Magic Missile does 1d4+1 points of damage, though you do get an extra missile for every two caster levels beyond 1st.
Just sayin’.
Blacksheep on January 4, 2007 at 11:09 AM
Fantasy genre. J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings trilogy:
1) The Fellowship of the Ring
2) The Two Towers
3) The Return of the King
and The Hobbit as well.
But you already knew that, right?
CyberCipher on January 4, 2007 at 11:10 AM
Smeagol was Gollum, not a golem.
James on January 4, 2007 at 12:07 PM
Why would Carville want to blow up an ambulance?
pedestrian on January 4, 2007 at 12:12 PM
His real name is Gandolfowitzbergstein but they made him change it when he reached Ellis Island.
Shy Guy on January 4, 2007 at 1:10 PM
Mystery solved!
Tim Burton on January 4, 2007 at 1:20 PM
Where did I put my +4 Mace?
Jones Zemkophill on January 4, 2007 at 1:47 PM
And the geek memories come flooding back…
(Anybody else remember the original D&D boxed set, back about 1980? Damn, I’m old. And nerdy.)
ReubenJCogburn on January 4, 2007 at 2:18 PM
One stringer to rule them all,
and in their daftness bind them
Benaiah on January 4, 2007 at 2:27 PM
I stand corrected. I guess it was all of the Osama/Obama stuff that had me confused.
CyberCipher on January 4, 2007 at 3:09 PM
BTW, there was a really creepy X-Files episode dealing with a golem. Read about it here.
CyberCipher on January 4, 2007 at 3:17 PM
Well the theory of an Isreali Sorcer is disproved! If you read the description in that link a Magic Missle unerringly hits a living target and can not do damage to an inanimate object!
Resolute on January 4, 2007 at 9:01 PM
I’ll take obscure references that “no one who didn’t live int he 80′s will get for $1000,” Alex.
Vic on January 4, 2007 at 10:10 PM
Won’t a Warlocks Elderich Blast damage inanimate objects?
At least that’s what some nerd told me. I’m not in the process of updating my video card just to get the most out of NWN2 or anything.
And I was never in the D&D club in 8th grade.
Rob Taylor on January 5, 2007 at 4:44 AM
A Golem, unlike Gollum/Smeagol, is an fantasy elemental creature, that is entirely composed of said element. Fire, water, air. Earth form golems break down further, such as stone, iron, steel, etc… /geek
Such creatures have existed since ancient mythology, but are a favorite of contemporary fantasy stories as well.
Actually, the Xur [sic] and Ko-Dan armada reference is from Toy Story, Buzz Lightyear’s back-story. So, totally not 80′s.
Freelancer on January 9, 2007 at 3:35 PM