No Korans, no abuse.

“The Department of Defense policy is clear — we treat detainees humanely,” Carpenter said. “The United States operates safe, humane and professional detention operations for enemy combatants who are providing valuable information in the war on terror.”

This tells us everything we need to know! But could Carpenter possibly have said it with a straight face? We should never mistreat anyone. And treating a silent jihadi politely is mistreatment.

…[T]he gays went and pissed all over the Eucharist in St. Pat’s….

Iblis on January 3, 2007 at 11:34 PM

All of them? Or just the ones on the same continent? Either way, that must have been quite a pile-up. If only they’d put that much effort into reproduction!

Best. Line. Ever!

Foggy, you’ve said more in two words than I could’ve said in a paragraph.

As F15Mech would say: It’s fogw for the win!

Question, is it really that bad to act like you are taking a crap on a book that is crap?

Personally, i think this stuff is great, and the fact that the jihadis hate it makes me like it even more.

Many Islamic terrorists have heard very little recorded music in their short miserable lives so it is counterproductive blast ‘em with full-blown Cookie Monster vocal death metal right off the bat.

If you want to gain their trust and win their hearts and minds as the Left claims is the key to winning the Global War On Terror, start off by playing (at an elevated volume) selected tracks from Deep Purple’s “Machine Head” and Led Zeppelin’s “IV” CDs.

After a couple of weeks, you should notice your Jihadi subject should begin humming the opening riff to Smoke On The Water or the “AWW BABY BABY BABY” part at the end of Four Sticks when laying out his prayer rug. At this point you can gradually introduce him to pre-disco KISS and some of the better New Wave of British Heavy Metal bands such as Judas Priest.

(WARNING: Do not under any circumstances let him know that Rob Halford is a homo–save that surprise for after Abdul tells you that Livin’ After Midnight is the most awesome party song ever).

At the end of the month, your former Jihadi should now be a either a Motley Crue or Metallica fan and be begging you to take him to America to work in a music store in L.A. He will likely no longer give a rat’s ass about the Prophet Mohammed, the Zionists, or the exploitation of the workers by the American military industrial complex because he’ll be too busy figuring out exactly how he can rock n’ roll all night and party ev’ry day.

That would have desecrated the loaf….

Uh … it might be a little late for that.

Jaibones on January 3, 2007 at 7:00 PM

mmmmmmmmmmm, lutefisk

Well, not to brag, but I have been practicing….

honora on January 3, 2007 at 4:45 PM

And it shows. I thought that was very smooth…

Ya know, I’m seriously thinking about doing a satire piece on Christians rioting in the streets because someone tore up a bible. That would be classical.

One Angry Christian on January 3, 2007 at 3:44 PM

Uh … it might be a little late for that.

If it’s not true, it’s revolting and dangerous.
If it’s true, it’s revolting and dangerous.

honora on January 3, 2007 at 4:04 PM

…a treasonous old harpy is also revolting and dangerous

It’s becoming impossible to parody lefty criticism of Gitmo.

Tantor on January 3, 2007 at 6:05 PM

But you’ll forgive me if I try, right?

**Yawn** Wake me when they take the GITMO detainees out of the custody of U.S. service men and women and place them in the custody of those kids attending Jesus camp. Then, if the liberals are right about how mean and evil those kids are, all the GITMO detainees will be dead within a week. Oh well. Bygones.

That being said, the above detailed stunts and others that have happened over the course of this war, while sophomoric, are harmful to our cause and to how our troops are perceived,in particular our troops in battle who will be affected most by such actions.

As a former Marine,such actions are beneath the dignity of our armed forces, and can give a dangerous impression to our enemies. As an example, one time when I was on deployment, while our group was on board ship in the Pacific, we were visited by a couple of Soviet Bear bombers. While taking great care not to approach us in any hostile or provocative way, they came low and close enough to take pictures of us. One Bear flew parallel to our deck. We could see the crew, and in the bubble in the tail of the plane, we saw the Soviet tailgunner give us a thumbs up as they flew by. One of our youngest guys, on his first float, responded by mooning them. After the Soviets left, I and a few other NCOs drug the youngster inside and beat the hell out of him. He professed with much confusion that he did not understand what we were so mad about. The point we made to him was the same point here. You embarrassed and degraded us in front of the enemy . I have no doubt that the crew of that bomber came away from that encounter with a lower opinion of the US Marine Corps and the U.S. Navy, and that the story spread throughout their ranks.

Let the enemy fear us for our ferocity and fighting ability, not for our grade school stupidity.