New evidence: Lindsay Lohan’s barely literate
posted at 6:55 pm on December 7, 2006 by Allahpundit
The verdict’s already in. We’re on to the sentencing phase now. Click and scroll to see the latest. It sounds like her, but the reappearance of “adequite” gives me pause. That was the funniest part of the earlier letter that had everyone laughing at her; a spoofer composing a fake message would find it irresistible. And sure enough, there it is in the very first line.
Plus, Al Gore makes a cameo. The idea of the Gorebot and Lindsay Lohan trying to communicate is comedy gold, which further suggests spoofery. And yet, the e-mail is right — she and he have met. Maybe he’ll use that famous charm of his to help her out with the tabloids, “if we just ASK.”
More starlet fever: Britney apologizes, sort of, for her “newfound freedom” from decency and Jessica Simpson gets chewed out by mama for her disastrous performance at the Kennedy Center Awards. And if you don’t know what that’s all about, fear not. The big A is always “adequite” to the task.
Update: Bette Midler’s had enough of these “wild and woolly sluts.” Woolly? Obviously Bette hasn’t seen the photos.
Update: Greg Tinti notes a little added drama to Midler knocking Spears: they’re set to star together in a film called, errrrr…..
Blowback
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Call me ignorant, but I do not know who she is. I’ve never seen anything she’s been involved with , on TV or screen.
Have I?
What does she do?
shooter on December 7, 2006 at 6:57 PM
Shooter: What does she do?
She purports to act, I gather.
mikeomatic on December 7, 2006 at 7:10 PM
Blame her parents, not her. They were responsible in seeing that she received an adequate education. Instead, they used her as their own personal cash cow.
EF on December 7, 2006 at 7:10 PM
Bad dum bump!!
thirteen28 on December 7, 2006 at 7:13 PM
Love love love Reese Witherspoon.
mikeyboss on December 7, 2006 at 7:17 PM
Gentlemen prefer wooly.
mikeyboss on December 7, 2006 at 7:20 PM
as punishment you must intern under the conservative blogger of your choice so she can beat some sense into your rich illerate backside
Defector01 on December 7, 2006 at 7:25 PM
Allah: Your Bette Midler update is actually even more interesting because Midler’s set to co-star in a film with Britney Spears called…In The Pink. No joke. It’s in pre-production right now.
Greg Tinti on December 7, 2006 at 7:28 PM
Don’t you mean an “adequite” education?
Dinsdale Piranha on December 7, 2006 at 7:30 PM
I don’t know which is worse, the entertainers who are well enough educated to believe that if The Right People Were In Charge, everything would be great, or those who prove that they sure as hell aren’t the Right People.
The Monster on December 7, 2006 at 7:30 PM
I vote Carrie Underwood. She’s the least likely out of anyone in that video to start screaming ‘BUSH LIED PEOPLE DIED’ while dining out.
ScottMcC on December 7, 2006 at 7:30 PM
Most Hollywood types are ignorant and uneducated, just how the dhimmicraps like their mind numbed acolytes. “…repeat after me…”
Zorro on December 7, 2006 at 7:36 PM
Mais Sher, dat der letta..notin wrong wit it.
Den agin, I be edumacated deep in sot lousana
Lez est les bon temps roulez!
lsutiger on December 7, 2006 at 7:37 PM
Bette Midler is piling on ‘em…which must be uncomfortable….
…AND, she’s “not the first celebrity to have frowned on mother-of-two Miss Spears’ recent behaviour…Troubled singer Courtney Love suggested that she should stay at home more to look after her children”
…having your social skills questioned by Courtney Love! How messed up do you have to be for *THAT* to happen!?!
Imagine being in a club and having Spears, Ol’ Paris and Ms. Lohan all come in at once, leaving shiny trails behind them like garden snails…the smell…imagine the smell….
Puritan1648 on December 7, 2006 at 7:40 PM
…no wonder Bette’s p.o.’d…her career has dwindled to the point that she’s reduced to doing Britney Spears movies!
Puritan1648 on December 7, 2006 at 7:42 PM
…the former shows that, without smarts, an education avails you not…and the latter shows that you don’t have to have smarts in Hollywood if you can get horizontal time it takes for a middle-aged producer to walk from behind his desk….
Puritan1648 on December 7, 2006 at 7:45 PM
Bette aka the Divine Miss M, has had enough….hmmm..That is tooooooo funny!
Pam on December 7, 2006 at 7:47 PM
Have you ever blown Pale Ale out of both nostrils and an ear?
I have now, and I don’t recommend it.
Meanwhile, here’s a Ferrari with more fuzz than B-Fed. Just because.
Pablo on December 7, 2006 at 7:49 PM
Some say that Lindsay’s atrocious writing is due to her being perpetually stoned. So is it the American educational system or a bottle of booze? We’ll investigate and leave no tern unstoned.
MaiDee on December 7, 2006 at 8:19 PM
that was more cognitive then Lohan’s letter
Defector01 on December 7, 2006 at 8:28 PM
They’ve had their feet cut off????
ScottG on December 7, 2006 at 9:14 PM
So, if they are getting divorced, is that Kevin guy now to be known as Fed-Ex?
Freelancer on December 7, 2006 at 9:36 PM
Sorry Lindsey honey. The word you wanted was definition; however you can’t sue for “definition of character” even if it is personally insulting.
gekkobear on December 7, 2006 at 10:30 PM
I had exactly the same thought when I heard this…
urbancenturion on December 7, 2006 at 11:30 PM
…no…two things…it was a mental image I was trying to convey, which in plaintext is hard to do…*OR*…it was connected to the punchline of a very inappropriate and very crude joke which used to have currency back in the day…which some of the other readers here might’ve heard and recognized…take your pick….
Puritan1648 on December 7, 2006 at 11:32 PM
Niiiiiiiiiice…
urbancenturion on December 7, 2006 at 11:36 PM
Is it my turn to question the timing?
Buzzy on December 7, 2006 at 11:49 PM
i don’t see what this brings to bear upon the issue of her hot rack.
jummy on December 7, 2006 at 11:58 PM
by the way, i am dissapointed but not surprised to see that al gore is a nasty old perv.
jummy on December 8, 2006 at 12:12 AM
Well I understood it, Puritan. I’m just surprised it got by the censor.
mikeyboss on December 8, 2006 at 1:02 AM
……ALL YOUR LOHAN’S BELONG TO US!!!!!!!!!
Janos Hunyadi on December 8, 2006 at 1:40 AM
I would love to teach her spelling, if she’d be willing to take my dictation.
(I would have used some more obvious ‘bad’ spelling as part of the pun, but it would have made the humor …e.g. ‘dicktayshun‘… too crude… or did I just do what I said I wouldn’t? Gad! I’m turning into a Lohan , myself! Which, in Buddhism, ironically, is a being who has achieved the enlightened state of “Nirvana”.)
Also known as an arhat.
(No relation to asshat, a more common creature in Tinseldom.)
profitsbeard on December 8, 2006 at 2:09 AM
When you get advise like that from a train wreck like her, you suck like a black hole as a parent…
MOMinuteman on December 8, 2006 at 6:37 AM
…shhhhhhhh….
Puritan1648 on December 8, 2006 at 8:19 AM
I wonder if anyone noticed last Sunday on Fox and Friends, when Kelly Wright began speaking about the “Slippery Roads” referring to the Midwest, but they showed a picture of Britney getting out of the car instead?
Sorry, the snail trail reminded me of it. LOL
And Ms. Love should be reminded of her falling out of her chair while Madonna was getting interviewed by Kurt Loeder on MTV a few years ago. I believe she forgot to wear panties, too.
kiakjones on December 8, 2006 at 9:29 AM