CBS exclusive: Castro does not have cancer
posted at 10:01 pm on December 1, 2006 by Allahpundit
Share on Facebook | regular view
Some eagle-eyed Freeper spotted this on the webpage of the network’s Miami affiliate.
First question: how can they be so sure? Only the Cuban government would know for certain and it’s as likely as not they’re leaking disinformation to quell the rumors to the contrary. Second question: if he does have cancer, is that good news? I know what I think, but our religious readers might see it differently.
There is some genuine, objectively good news in the piece (assuming it’s true) but I won’t spoil it for you. Click the image to watch.
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Blowback
Note from Hot Air management: This section is for comments from Hot Air's community of registered readers. Please don't assume that Hot Air management agrees with or otherwise endorses any particular comment just because we let it stand. A reminder: Anyone who fails to comply with our terms of use may lose their posting privilege.
Trackbacks/Pings
Trackback URL
Comments
Comment pages:
Hey, wasn’t he buddies with Arafat?
Pals? Chums?
-Bryan @ Sanctuary blog
Prophet on December 1, 2006 at 10:11 PM
Either he has cancer or he’s a Georgia Tech student in the second week of final exams eating every meal at the Varsity.
RedWinged Blackbird on December 1, 2006 at 10:11 PM
The varsity is the best cure for constipation.
quax1 on December 1, 2006 at 10:19 PM
I rest my case.
RedWinged Blackbird on December 1, 2006 at 10:26 PM
Maybe he’ll finally die from being a total asshole commie dictator mass murderer and overall pusbag–that should be enough to kill anyone, especially a chain-smoking 80-something Cuban POS
Janos Hunyadi on December 1, 2006 at 10:32 PM
I’m offended by chain-smoking comment.
RedWinged Blackbird on December 1, 2006 at 10:35 PM
The good news is Castro doesn’t have cancer. The bad news is hes been wearing that athletic jacket since the 1980 Olympics.
sonnyspats1 on December 1, 2006 at 10:37 PM
AP, indeed:
Entelechy on December 1, 2006 at 10:38 PM
Castro = Room Temp
Marvin on December 1, 2006 at 10:42 PM
This coming from a leading reliable News source.
Kini on December 1, 2006 at 10:46 PM
Take my word for it. The Varsity really sux.
RedWinged Blackbird on December 1, 2006 at 10:53 PM
…easy…CBS is a trusted news organ of the Cuban government.
Looks like Raul made his move. He’s 75, and had better yuk-it-up while he can.
I don’t know about cancer, but having 80 years under your keel tends to make you look like ol’ Fidel looks ’bout now.
It all appears to be coming down to the wire, and ol’ Maximo Lider’s gonna come face-to-face with his maker soon. As another great Cuban once said, he’s gonna “have a lot of ’splainin’ to do”.
I hope that work-out suit is made of Nomex.
Puritan1648 on December 1, 2006 at 10:57 PM
I thought Castro WAS a cancer. Isn’t Cuba stuck in the 50’s for like 50 years now?
lorien1973 on December 1, 2006 at 10:59 PM
And why does a Commie keep promoting a brand like Adidas? Cuban commies don’t make sweatsuits good enough for him, eh?
lorien1973 on December 1, 2006 at 11:00 PM
The journo was reporting from Havana, which she presumably can only do so at the pleasure of the Cuban govt.
Alex K on December 1, 2006 at 11:08 PM
“Damnit! I want my oatmeal! Where’s my damn oatmeal!? And where’s that little boy buggering brother of mine!?” *radja fradja* *grumble grumble*
That decrepit old fart will cling to life with his claw-like nails for as long as he can just to spite us.
SilverStar830 on December 1, 2006 at 11:12 PM
It would be a G-damned shame if this bastard dies in his bed peacefully. Say what you will about the Iraq war( and surprisingly enough, people have said much) at least Sadaam will die hanging from a rope.
billy on December 1, 2006 at 11:19 PM
As another great Cuban once said, he’s gonna “have a lot of ’splainin’ to do”.
I hope that work-out suit is made of Nomex.
Puritan1648 on December 1, 2006 at 10:57 PM
OH LUCIFER I’m home
sonnyspats1 on December 1, 2006 at 11:21 PM
…Fidel…unfortunate proof about that whole “good die young” thing.
Puritan1648 on December 1, 2006 at 11:21 PM
It’s a crying shame that this gentleman will die peacefully in his bed. Say what you will about the Iraq war(as indeed many have) at the very least Sadaam has an engagement with a rope.
billy on December 1, 2006 at 11:23 PM
There’s no way to know someone doesn’t have cancer. Even his doctors couldn’t say that for sure.
mikeyboss on December 1, 2006 at 11:27 PM
Double post.
sorry
billy on December 1, 2006 at 11:46 PM
Geez, with a beard trim, he would look just like my Uncle John approaching with one last “pull my thumb”.
laelaps on December 1, 2006 at 11:49 PM
I’ll bet it’s AIDS. Whatever it is it’s come on fast, he looked pretty healthy at that first meeting with Hugo Chavez and then ….. hmmmm.
Buzzy on December 2, 2006 at 12:10 AM
There is irony in his slow death. He’s got lots of torture and time to reflect how ‘glorious’ he’s been.
Entelechy on December 2, 2006 at 12:11 AM
Oh, Buzzy, that’s filthy. I love it.
laelaps on December 2, 2006 at 12:12 AM
I blame the Mafia: they were paid to whack him 45 years ago, but turned into The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight or Inject Poison or Give LSD to The Alligators Near His Hacienda. If you can’t trust killers to kill, what’s the world coming to?
….and if it is cancer, let us hope it’s Cancer of the Dick
Janos Hunyadi on December 2, 2006 at 12:18 AM
Actually, he looks about ready to receive her and please her. Cuban breakfast!
laelaps on December 2, 2006 at 12:19 AM
Isn’t it the truth!
Emmett J. on December 2, 2006 at 1:22 AM
Fearless leader ain’t looking so hot. And what’s with the track outfit? Is he planning on jumping some hurdles?
jaleach on December 2, 2006 at 1:53 AM
Sad to see the ravages of time. However the topknot connection clearly shows there is a third brother.
laelaps on December 2, 2006 at 1:54 AM
Castro returns home after playing dress-up for the Run DMC concert.
“It’s tricky to stay alive, when everyone wants you to die, it’s tricky! Tr-tr-tr-tricky!”
….Sorry, that was stupid. I apologize.
PaisleyCow on December 2, 2006 at 2:25 AM
At one point, the reporterette claims, “Millions here are hoping Castro will be able to attend a military parade tomorrow…”
Millions? Wouldn’t most prisoners want to see their jailer drop dead as soon as possible?
But hey, Saddam always wow’em at the polls too. Or as ABC’s David Wright “reported”–apparently with a straight face in 2002:
“Seven years ago, when the last referendum took place, Saddam Hussein won 99.96 percent of the vote. Of course, it is impossible to say whether that’s a true measure of the Iraqi people’s feelings.”
Yes, absolutely impossible. Particularly if you’re with the MSM and never saw a dictator you didn’t gushingly admire.
Ed Driscoll on December 2, 2006 at 2:44 AM
Ed, they’re hoping to see him drop dead on YouTube, that’s why they wanting it to happen at a Military parade. Remember his famous trip, many a smile in SFLA for about a week.
Buzzy on December 2, 2006 at 3:40 AM
Buzzy–ahh, of course! Now it makes sense! ;)
Ed Driscoll on December 2, 2006 at 3:48 AM
SEE BS – Castro does not have Cancer … Bush went AWOL … blah blah blah …
If CBS says it then it MUST be true!
Can’t we test out our shiney new F-22 Raptor on him before he goes?
Tony737 on December 2, 2006 at 4:07 AM
It occured to me, however, that they’re right – what they may not have mentioned is that what better way to attend than to be the reason for a military parade – such as being drawn in a hearse for his funeral?
Just a thought.
Also, it would make a great YouTube posting.
Emmett J. on December 2, 2006 at 8:02 AM
Ahem. About those negatory comments about the Varsity. Now, I admit I haven’t eaten there since the 70’s (me being a northern boy, after all). But they served the best damned chili dogs I’ve ever had!
georgej on December 2, 2006 at 8:58 AM
Well… if CBS says so, it must be true.
Or, if not exactly true, then fake but true.
Thank you Dan Rather for this revolutionary change in how news is
reportedbuilt.Lawrence on December 2, 2006 at 9:15 AM
Another great thing from that video is the Katie Couric Dagger-Stare-From-Hell that ends the clip.
eeyore on December 2, 2006 at 9:46 AM
Judging from the pic, he’s circling the drain with a case of terminal petulance.
Claire on December 2, 2006 at 11:02 AM
…love the picture…looks like a 1-900 operator on her 13th hour on the phones without coffee….
“OOO, baby, love ya baby….”
Puritan1648 on December 2, 2006 at 11:47 AM
Must have contracted HPV when he was a young girl in the ghettos of Havana.
seejanemom on December 2, 2006 at 12:10 PM
I’m not buying…it’s a CBS reporter reporting from Havana who cites no alternative explanation. Are we to take that seriously? Not bloody likely!
CP on December 2, 2006 at 12:13 PM
Fake but accurate reporting?
Kokonut on December 2, 2006 at 12:29 PM
As a Cuban who closely follows what is going on in Cuba, there is so much wrong with that CBS report, that I’m not sure where to begin.
First, “CBS has learned…” Learned from where? Undisclosed government/official source? One of his docs? Just some guy on the street? Maybe a santaria priestess who has a good feeling about this?
If he doesn’t have cancer, what did the source of the this report say is wrong with him? What is he recovering from? Does CBS know? If they don’t know what is wrong with him, why not say that CBS doesn’t know what is wrong with him.
What is surprising about Raul assuming power during a smooth transition? He controls the military, he set-up the military as the agency running all the capitalist business from which the generals are getting rich. There were no elections, and public demonstrations will land you in jail. If you stood as any challenge to raul or fidel, chances are you are already in jail, have fled the island, or are dead. So why should a smooth transition be a surprise?
Based on the fact that this is a CBS “wishful thinking” report, I conclude: 1) Castro has cancer, and has less than a year to live, 2) there is a power struggle and/or the elite are afraid of an uprising from the people.
Mig on December 2, 2006 at 1:18 PM
Well, bless his pointed little totalitarian head.
Unfortunately, his appointed successor will purposely be worse so that Cubans will miss his pointed little totalitarian head.
Speakup on December 2, 2006 at 1:44 PM
Anyone remember the old SNL Weekend Update bit–”this just in, Generalissimo Franco is still dead.”
honora on December 2, 2006 at 3:29 PM
¡Cuba libre!
Mojave Mark on December 2, 2006 at 4:58 PM
It would be nice to believe that this murderous bastard actually has a conscience, and it’s screaming at him right now.
hillbillyjim on December 2, 2006 at 5:39 PM
Obviouly that would be the rectum.
infidel4life on December 2, 2006 at 6:00 PM
Of course, honora. Though I was too young to know whom they were talking about.
mikeyboss on December 2, 2006 at 8:23 PM
My “S” key doe
sn’t work. Really!Oh wait…
infidel4life on December 2, 2006 at 9:56 PM
Thanks for the picture AP – he looks like Mephistopheles questioning the timing.
Entelechy on December 3, 2006 at 1:23 AM
Or, from the picture…
“Where are the forks and the shovels? Who’s misplaced them? I have to have them ready for any eventuality”.
Entelechy on December 3, 2006 at 1:28 AM
One wonders what is going through his mind now?
We all come to our ends, and we go through our lives
and our histories–what we could have done,and the things we did do–and how it all affected others, and the world in general-does Fidel feel remorse?
Does he feel joyous expectation, or fear, or a weariness??
lizzee on December 3, 2006 at 2:45 PM
personally I dont care either way.
If he has it and he passes soon which he probably does and probably will then he’ll be replaced by someone about the same if not worse.
If he lives … we’re still in the same boat.
what does it matter?
One Angry Christian on December 3, 2006 at 4:25 PM
Comment pages: