Confirmed: Lindsay Lohan’s barely literate
posted at 12:13 am on November 29, 2006 by Allahpundit
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It’s like when someone goes missing, isn’t seen for years, and ends presumed dead, and then one day the body turns up. Everyone pretty much knows what the situation is, but no one’s willing to give up hope until there’s some hard evidence.
Well, the body’s turned up.
I must say, it’s nice to have closure.
The 20-year-old actress, who scored a part in Altman’s last movie, A Prairie Home Companion, made the interesting decision to go public with a condolence letter she wrote to the Altman family in the wake of his death from cancer last week. The passion was certainly there - she, like many dozens of actors before her, clearly adored the experience of working in Altman’s characteristic freeform style - but the letter was also spectacular in its incoherence and disregard of basic grammar and spelling.
“I am lucky enough to of been able to work with Robert Altman amongst the other greats on a film that I can genuinely say created a turning point in my career,” she began, less than certainly. “He was the closest thing to my father and grandfather that I really do believe I’ve had in several years… He left us with a legend that all of us have the ability to do.” A little lower down, she fell into improv philosophy, apparently riffing on the notion that life is too short to waste: “Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourselves’ (12st book) - everytime there’s a triumph in the world a million souls hafta be trampled on. - altman Its true. But treasure each triumph as they come.” And she signed off, “Be adequite. Lindsay Lohan.”
That just so happens to be my daily affirmation. Same spelling, too. I think I managed it today, barely.
Full text of Lindsay’s letter right here. Have an adequite night, my friends.
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Maybe she was drunk.
Tony737 on November 29, 2006 at 12:21 AM
I like “I’m lucky to of been”…
DaveS on November 29, 2006 at 12:22 AM
That. Is. So.
Sad.Pathetic.Everyone must read the rag in it’s entirety to truly get the full impact of her apallingly worded sentiment.
SunnyBrook on November 29, 2006 at 12:24 AM
lowandslow on November 29, 2006 at 12:24 AM
apallinglyappallingly/me blushes
SunnyBrook on November 29, 2006 at 12:25 AM
shez defanantly luky. and brilyant to.
thedecider on November 29, 2006 at 12:26 AM
I had to check my dictionary. Halp me Jon Cary.
infidel on November 29, 2006 at 12:26 AM
hookt ahn fonix werkt fer mee, maybee itt wud werk fer herr to.
windbag on November 29, 2006 at 12:27 AM
But you should see her doing a naked crab walk…
GregH on November 29, 2006 at 12:27 AM
I thought that, too. Or, maybe she is groggy from malnutrition. The girl could definitely use a doughnut.
kace on November 29, 2006 at 12:27 AM
I have always wanted to like her (the redhead thing), but Ron White said it best: You can’t fix stupid.
urbancenturion on November 29, 2006 at 12:28 AM
Harvard accepted her for enrollment next fall.
jaleach on November 29, 2006 at 12:30 AM
‘
Go get ‘em girl. I wonder what kind of letter she’ll write when Herbie goes to the junkyard.
Rick on November 29, 2006 at 12:39 AM
Diversity.
Rick on November 29, 2006 at 12:40 AM
Yeah Rick…dem Harvs bin havin’ a ruff time fillin’ the anorexic redhead quota this here year.
SunnyBrook on November 29, 2006 at 12:45 AM
Back in the old days of Hollywood, people like Lindsay Lohan were lucky if they got work as a shoe-shiner for Clark Gable or Errol Flynn.
How this girl is famous is beyond me. Apparently, in the land of celebrities, the Heisenberg uncertainty principle applies.
Only instead of energy being converted to mass, sluttiness is converted to Q ratings.
JG2K6 on November 29, 2006 at 12:46 AM
PS: HuKkeD oN fOniX DIdn’T wuRk 4 LinDsay!1!1
JG2K6 on November 29, 2006 at 12:47 AM
Wow. I vote for drunk/high, since she is supposed to have a decent academic record. On the other hand, what would you expect from someone whose greatest claim to fame over the last 6 months is being the inspiration for a song called “Fire Cr*tch?”
Scotsman on November 29, 2006 at 1:00 AM
She was drunk! It could happen to any of us! THIS PROVES NOTHING.
Alex K on November 29, 2006 at 1:04 AM
…..she was cute in Parent Trap. What happened to her twin sister ( the smart one ) ?
Janos Hunyadi on November 29, 2006 at 1:04 AM
Sigh. You folks are being too hard on her, methinks.
When I was 20 my writing skills were rather
sadpathetic as well. Hopefully, with age and maturity my communication skills have improved. And frankly, without a spell checker (when I remember to use it), my spelling is atrocious.Not everybody at age 20 is capable of communicating with the skill and panache of a Nobel laureate for literature. Given what passes for modern “NEA-based educational curriculum” these days, the ability of a 20 year old to string 6 words together in a sentence ought to be considered a near miracle, especially as she doesn’t get paid for being eloquent with words.
Clearly, it was heartfelt and personal, as opposed to a slick press release written by a pro.
She gets points for having the guts to express her feelings.
georgej on November 29, 2006 at 1:06 AM
Line! I said line, dammit!
Editor on November 29, 2006 at 1:08 AM
She’s famous for Acting not THINKING. The sad truth is that MOST of the stars in the twenty million dollar a picture club are stupid too, the alarming thing is that some of them make political statements, like Brad Pitt and “stem cell research. Brad Pitt has never even PLAYED anyone intelligent, no beautiful mind there! Then there’s Julia Roberts, talk about a dim bulb has anyone ever heard her speak? I watched the beautiful Gwyeneth Paltrow on Inside the Actors Studio and all I could think to myself was…boy this chick’s stupid! They can’t have everything, y’know? Beauty AND brains…it’d be too much!
Soothsayer on November 29, 2006 at 1:11 AM
Sniff. It’s so true. I just wish those souls won’t make that icky squeeking sound when I have to trample on them.
pedestrian on November 29, 2006 at 1:12 AM
You know… I try to be charitable. I try to be sympathetic.
…
It just isn’t happening.
She got straight A’s. She’s wealthy and famous. And she writes this, and is shameless enough to allow it to be seen without editing.
Now I have to tell my Godchildren that it really doesn’t matter how hard you work, you can’t beat looks and bribery, so get started on cheating and cosmetic surgery early.
And georgej: Can it, man, you’re mellowing my harsh! :)
Merovign on November 29, 2006 at 1:14 AM
After experiencing Lohan’s eloquence, I believe that I can say with some certainty that she has a second career waiting for her as a grammar tutor to the vast majority of commenters at dKos.
Freelancer on November 29, 2006 at 1:19 AM
At least AP didn’t blog about Britney Spears’ latest, uhm, slip …
Niko on November 29, 2006 at 1:21 AM
Soothsayer on November 29, 2006 at 1:11 AM
I couldn’t agree more. There’s nothing more ridiculous than seeing some of them on game shows as well. It is truly embarrassing that foreigners consider Hollywood starlets the “royalty” of America when they do not represent our values, our culture, or, frankly, our national intelligence quotient.
thedecider on November 29, 2006 at 1:22 AM
Well, she’s still alright in my 12st book.
Sean M. on November 29, 2006 at 1:27 AM
I suppose this explains a lot about you Soothsayer. Didn’t you just tell us last week that you are:
Thanks for explaining to me that it’s not Lohan, it’s actors in general that are dumb. I was having trouble figuring you out.
RightWinged on November 29, 2006 at 1:37 AM
Okay, I’m going to try to be sympathetic.
*ahem*
Lindsey has a horrible learning disorder that primarily affects her writing and composition skills. She went to a good school, however, where teachers could help her compensate, and counselors guided her to a career choice where her handicap would be more accepted, or at least less of a burden.
Happy Play Nice-Nice of the day brought to you by the number 7, the letter R, and Fruity Oaty Bars.
Merovign on November 29, 2006 at 1:59 AM
She doesn’t get paid to think (number one), and frankly you have to use your writing skills or they do tend to fade. I’d be willing to bet she can belt out “ware r u” “I 8 early” on her cell phone faster than I could (number two).
Sarah D. on November 29, 2006 at 2:00 AM
Alex K on November 29, 2006 at 1:04 AM
Oh fiddlesticks!!! I can’t believe I’m hearing what appear to be good faith attempts to defend this woman’s drivel.
Let me first address the “drunk” defense. I can assure you all that I have never let the mere temporary absence of my sobriety to in anyway inhibit my posting commentary here. In fact, I consider it to be a positive creative boon. In vino veritas, as they say.
Second. I know not what the general level of education on this board may be. But I do know what my level of formal education is. And it only includes a high school diploma. No more, and no less than what Miss Lohan has.
But alas, my GPA was significantly less than what Miss Lohan had. I was not valedictorian. I was not in the top 10%, or the top 20%, or even the top 50%. I was in the bottom half of the bottom 50%. Sad but true. But it is just a fact of life that a school can’t have all the graduating students be above average. You gotta have some dullards to make the smart one look good. And I made my class mates look so very, very smart.
Just call me a team player.
So there you have it:
I post drunk more as a rule than as an exception.
I’ve got only a high school diploma.
And my GPA is lower than the eloquent L.L.
And yet, I hope I’m not being too presumptuous here when I say that I think her writing doesn’t cut the mustard, so to speak.
In the telegraph article Allahpundit linked, someone called her letter “alarmingly incoherent.”
I think that about says it all.
However, in her defense, I will say that she is smokin’ hot, and that does count for a lot. A lot.
Lindsay, call me? OK?
EFG on November 29, 2006 at 2:03 AM
One can have brains and beauty hence why we have Michelle Malkin.
EnochCain on November 29, 2006 at 2:12 AM
Wiat I count on Lindsi to tall me howe to vot.
I gues I;ll havta folow Parass Hiltoon now.
x95b10 on November 29, 2006 at 2:18 AM
I know a lot of people in the arts. Even among the most talented ones the level of political understanding is (usually, but not always) horrifying and the word “brains” has to be put in scare quotes. But that doesn’t take away from the particular talent they were given, and, to their credit if they do, choose to develop. How much great classical music would we have to discard if we judged it on the personal idiocies and failings of its creators? Great paintings by messed-up paintors? Great films by alcoholic directors? Lohan is superb at her job. I don’t see a reason to make fun of her. I’ll save that for the next time George Clooney abuses his celebrity by encouraging defeat in the war again.
Halley on November 29, 2006 at 2:35 AM
Halp her, jon Cary, L.L. is stuk in Holiwud.
Danilo on November 29, 2006 at 2:39 AM
The good news? The New-Age Hollywierd psycho-babble claptrap dribbling drivel hasn’t sunk ALL the way through her obviously thick skull, YET. Otherwise she would make absolutely no sense more coherently.
hillbillyjim on November 29, 2006 at 2:47 AM
That’s one way to say it. ‘Airhead’ is another.
infidel4life on November 29, 2006 at 2:47 AM
I’m like, speetchless.
She goes “He was the closest thing to my father and grandfather that I really do believe I’ve had in several years… He left us with a legend that all of us have the ability to do.”
I’m like, wow! Kan Yuu tell that I think she’s rillie creative? She’s like, rilly, like, oh, such a great thinker!
My mentor was the closest thing to my father and grandfather that I really do believe I’ve had in several years also. I mean, my grandfather was like the best grandfather that I ever had until my grandfather died. My father was like the best father I ever had until he died two, but he goes “Don’t forget to take out the trash, son,” and I like, go “Yeah, dad. Whatever,” and he sayz “Good, just checking.”
So, I like, go “Hey, dad. If I don’t take out the trash, who else is going to due it?” and he’s like “Oh, right.”
So, when anyone goes “Hey man, did you know that life is grait,” you can go “Grait? Yeah, it’s like the most goodest thing, sometimes, right? But sometimes it like bitez it two, right?”
Sow, to all youze who are reeding this, I like go “Have a nise nite, O Kay?”
And I’m like, going to bed now.
Bye bye.
William
William2006 on November 29, 2006 at 2:56 AM
I tell you, she went to one of the finest schools in Manhatten.
Alex K on November 29, 2006 at 3:15 AM
And yes. I misspelled Manhattan.
LINDSAY WOULD UNDERSTAND.
Alex K on November 29, 2006 at 3:16 AM
She was, and I am. Her message was absolutely beautiful, deep, feeling, cosmic, profound … and if you say these words sincerely enough, she does something to you that you deeply and profoundly enjoy …
laelaps on November 29, 2006 at 3:18 AM
You got it, dude.
Help the woopsie. She needs some huey.
Ouabam on November 29, 2006 at 3:23 AM
Where are her handlers?
Ouabam on November 29, 2006 at 3:27 AM
Remember to post the video on youtube.
Ouabam on November 29, 2006 at 3:29 AM
Uh oh. This just in over on http://www.imdb.com:
Any fans of Fleetwood Mac care to comment?
jaleach on November 29, 2006 at 3:31 AM
Now she just needs a blog on HuffPo and a seat next to Algore at the next DNC shindig.
Black Adam on November 29, 2006 at 3:36 AM
(12st book) = 12 step book of Alcoholics Anonymous. That speaks volumes!
sonnyspats1 on November 29, 2006 at 3:58 AM
Fleetwood Mac?
Well, Stevie isn’t a rocket scientist either. Though thank God she has kept her political leanings to herself. I think.
Sarah D. on November 29, 2006 at 5:11 AM
Uh, nOOOooo. Try the Democratic National Convention–for the 1996 cycle–They were jamming on the stage with CLinton and Gore (each sporting the everyman’s IRONMAN watch) and doing the white man’s overbite to “Don’t Stop Thinking About Tommorrow”….yeah, Stevie’s a real tame one…
seejanemom on November 29, 2006 at 5:57 AM
She wasn’t drunk…she was “exhausted”…Lindsey Lohan really grinds my gears
JetBoy on November 29, 2006 at 6:08 AM
Believe it when I see it. Chances of that letter not being proofread by some sort of $100kpa ‘celebrity proofreader’ before being released to the public are pretty slim..
Reaps on November 29, 2006 at 6:36 AM
As the mom of a dyslexic kid, I have some sympathy for pepul hoo cant rite wel. That could explain the spelling but grammar shouldn’t be affected. And if you’ve lived 20 years with a disability like that, you’ve got coping mechanisms in place. Even my 11-year old doesn’t let anything out of her hands without a spell check and then a person double-checking. (Homonyms are the bane of her existence.) Because of my daughter, I’ve had to revise my knee-jerk judgment of people who can’t write intelligibly, but in this case I’m still going with IUI (Idiot Under the Influence).
Quisp on November 29, 2006 at 7:07 AM
“I’m gonna tend dem wabbits dGeorge”
RightWinged on November 29, 2006 at 7:13 AM
I think Paris Hilton is her ghost writer…
E L Frederick (Sniper One) on November 29, 2006 at 7:16 AM
Quite right! If the “New-Age Hollywierd psycho-babble claptrap dribbling drivel” had completely sunk in, she would have related the death of Altman to “global warming” and blamed it on Bush.
mojojojo on November 29, 2006 at 7:21 AM
Stevie Nicks has a gravelly voice? Who knew?
Pablo on November 29, 2006 at 7:57 AM
While it doesn’t excuse the rest of the faulty grammer, I would point out that “Be Adequite” is a meaningful reference to Altman’s way of praising his actors. “That was adequate” is what he told his actors when he was satisfied with a scene and was ready to move on to the next.
See http://www.robinandlinda.com/moviereview8.html
trapdoc on November 29, 2006 at 8:27 AM
How did this get public without a checker? Who would release such a thing? You know someone is losing his job over this.
I am definitely putting this in a file for my grandkids under “Don’t let this happen to you!”.
CrimsonFisted on November 29, 2006 at 8:35 AM
I’ll learn her the basics.
You know.
Private, hands-on sessions and all….
locomotivebreath1901 on November 29, 2006 at 8:40 AM
You misspelled “fluffer”.
Farmer_Joe on November 29, 2006 at 8:40 AM
Lindsay Lohan as Stevie Nicks? Gag.
Jared Leto as Lindsay Buckingham? Even worse.
Abigail Adams on November 29, 2006 at 8:41 AM
C’mon! She was “educated” in America… She’s been in movies since she was a pre - teen. What were you expecting? WFB, Jr.?
Read MySpace for a few hours, and you’ll be picketing City Hall to get your School Taxes back…
Frank_D on November 29, 2006 at 8:50 AM
I really can’t understand all the furor over this. A lot more important stuff going on in the real world to worry about.
(For instance another Russian critic of Putin has fallen suddenly, mysteriously, seriously, ill.:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20061129/wl_nm/russia_gaidar_illness_dc )
Personally, I’d prefer to attack her for lefty political statements than insult her for her writing skills.
When a major newspaper hires her to write articles for them, (or she starts posting on HotAir) THEN her writing ability is fair game.
LegendHasIt on November 29, 2006 at 8:59 AM
I think she’s coked out.
vcferlita on November 29, 2006 at 8:59 AM
I really liked the movie and she was ~ considering the piddling expectations I had ~ really very, very good. And what a set of pipes when she finally got to sing!
Lohan, Barrymore, ad nauseum ~ the tragic list goes on and on of late 20th century ’stage’ parents who lived through their talented children and left strewn wreckage as the wake of their lives.
When you’re tanked at 15 and “where’s your mom?” gets answered with “stoned three doors over”, I think that’d qualify as child abuse. I know it would if you lived in a trailer park.
tree hugging sister on November 29, 2006 at 9:03 AM
She didnt leaf her nummer howm I sposed ta call?
frreal on November 29, 2006 at 9:09 AM
HA! Lotsa graite commints hear twoday!
I lost track of how many cracked me up so here’s to all of you!
Anyway, it seems to me that Lohan should join the Army and get “stuk inn Irak”.
She sure is cute though, whej she eats, that is. I mean, she’s no Halle Berry, but she IS cute.
There, I judged her on her looks, happy now? :-)
Tony737 on November 29, 2006 at 9:11 AM
Lindsay Lohan is judged by her looks. She makes her money from her looks. Just like every other Hollywood starlette.
So who really cares if Lindsay Lohan is barely literate?
Lawrence on November 29, 2006 at 9:22 AM
A lesson to us all:
Don’t Drink And Write.
WriterMom on November 29, 2006 at 9:27 AM
GAWD that’s funny! Pathetic and painful, but really funny.
WriterMom on November 29, 2006 at 9:28 AM
Poor illiterate twit . . . but frankly, that’s about what I would have expected from that Hollywood gaggle.
rplat on November 29, 2006 at 9:32 AM
See? Sigh.
marykatharine on November 29, 2006 at 9:36 AM
2 thoughts:
She’s a lot hotter now than before. Dumb chicks are the best.
next…
Hukd on foniks wurkd fur her.
lorien1973 on November 29, 2006 at 9:38 AM
And *I* have been called a bad person on this blog! Don’t you people realize that her career is now OVER!! She put “God Bless” in the letter…
RushBaby on November 29, 2006 at 9:43 AM
Allah - was this taken out of context?
iam7545 on November 29, 2006 at 9:44 AM
Sometimes I feel like I accomplish nothing at all when I go in to work every day and try to teach kids stuff. And this is one of those times.
True, I never taugh this young woman, but I can pretty much guarantee that any number of the youngsters sitting in my classroom today could/would do no better. And it’s not because they don’t have good teachers or great curriculum, either. And it’s not because they’re too dumb to learn. It’s because they don’t care.
It’s sad.
Bob's Kid on November 29, 2006 at 9:45 AM
Do you have any idea how many people write “of” instead of “have”? [could of, should of, or would of] My 11 year old son writes far better than 80% of the adults I see on message boards or that write emails to me.
Lindsey Lohan is just an example of the huge problem we have in this country. These kids have no idea how to write. Accidentally mispelling a word when typing quickly is not the same thing.
I broke my son of his habit of putting apostrophes in a plural (example: my jean’s are too tight). Now I know to teach him that “could of” is not the way to spell “could’ve”
CookeyD on November 29, 2006 at 9:49 AM
Like I totally get it.
Like totally.
seejanemom on November 29, 2006 at 9:52 AM
Hey, she seems more lucid and cogent than your average Kos Kid. I’ll cut her some slack. Hollywood types aren’t exactly the brightest bulbs.
JammieWearingFool on November 29, 2006 at 9:58 AM
Exactly!
Apart from the questions raised by someone who writes like that and pulls down straight As … (anyone smell grade inflation?) Schools are not meant to flatter students, but to educate them. A hard-earned C with solid skills is far better than a fluffy, worthless A.
Still, back to the conceit: it’s one thing to pound fast on a comments blog - it’s easy to transpose letters, make the ol’ boo-boos, but a letter of condolence? No effort made to clean it up? Lazy, ignorant (Huh? What mistakes?), careless … nothing noble or positive comes to mind.
Someone fairly recently posted a list of actors and their respective levels of education. It was pathetic. Most had hardly managed to finish High School, some not even that, much less even attempt college. And these undereducated brats presume to lecture the rest of the world on issues of any sort? That’s why it’s all about feelings, not background research and facts.
naliaka on November 29, 2006 at 10:13 AM
If you’re going to wax philosophical, be able to write. If you’re drunk, go ahead and write, but don’t let other people see it.
I don’t see where anyone addressed one of the key issues here: she used Altman’s death to draw attention to *HERSELF*. She’s all drippy about how he was like a grandfather, blah-blah, but it seemed as if she was elbowing his corpse out of the spotlight here. The bride on every wedding cake and — literally — the corpse at every wake.
Well…her dad was a piece of work, and didn’t she have troubles with her mom? The maximum effective range of that sort of an excuse is about zero meters, but it’s nice to know what justifications people will use before they, or their partisans, use them.
In the end, she’s another vacuous film actress who probably has and probably will again make some soppy political statement. Ho-hum.
She and her good buddy, Paris Hilton I hear, are often clubbing, chain-smoking the night away in-between pole dances. This, and her apparent depth as a writer, will stand her in good stead once the pedophile-factor evaporates, and she will have to get by on her acting.
Apart from a concern for general humanity, and unless we’re all fans of her here, why do we even care?
Puritan1648 on November 29, 2006 at 10:18 AM
I doubt that “Hollywood High” education she got actually covered coherent writing skills. I went to school with some really brilliant engineers, some of whome could barely write a coherent grocery list when they started. Then I was a TA and I got to read a lot of freshman papers…ugh. The first two or three of the semester were covered in my red ink highlighting the general butchery of grammar.
JollyRoger on November 29, 2006 at 10:27 AM
Translation: He wasn’t so great after all. Every last one of us could’ve done it.
Lindsay? Loved you in Parent Trap.
jdpaz on November 29, 2006 at 10:28 AM
C’mon folks–this young thang has been tutored on movie sets for a very long time. What do you expect? Also, I read scores of words that are not spelled correctly (nor grammatically correct) in the comments on this blog.
OK it’s true–I teach, and kids can’t spell. Sigh.
robblefarian on November 29, 2006 at 10:53 AM
I’m suprirsed it wasn’t written as a text message.
“I LUV ALTMAN. HES GR8. 4 ME N ALL U HE WUZ GR8. BE AD=. LL.”
Nethicus on November 29, 2006 at 11:00 AM
That’s just brutal to even try to read. Perhaps that last drunken binge destroyed what little brain cells she had left.
webproze on November 29, 2006 at 11:15 AM
Forget the misspelling. Why would you suggest “be adequate” to anyone, ever, let alone a grieving family? I’m so out of it.
honora on November 29, 2006 at 11:25 AM
Well, thinking drunkly for a moment-that could also translate into:
He left us with the legend that all of us have the ability TO DO (things). OR, another possibility:
He left me dellusional, thinking that I have an ability to do something.
WriterMom on November 29, 2006 at 11:25 AM
And what the heck is the (12st book) ?
WriterMom on November 29, 2006 at 11:27 AM
No, no, no. Paris H is buds with Brittany Spears. Lindsay is apparently the odd girl out. (I cannot tell you how delighted I am to have this knowledge and to be able to lord it over the one person who is possibly less cool than I am..)
I rock!!!
honora on November 29, 2006 at 11:28 AM
a celebrity that can’t write or speak properly
I’m ASTONISHED
Defector01 on November 29, 2006 at 11:37 AM
Honora-it is true. Brittney and Paris, are like BEST FRIENDS FOREVER now!
WriterMom on November 29, 2006 at 11:45 AM
She could be the poster girl for military recruiters!
(At least according to Jon Cary)
LonelyMassRepublican on November 29, 2006 at 12:01 PM
…*LESS* cool! Godfrey Daniels!! I am aghast…agog…asymetrical!
I’ll have you know that I’m cooler than Jack Nicholson’s smirk! I’m cooler than a mother-in-law’s compliment!
I’ll have you know that homosexuals from all points of the compass come to see what my hair looks like in the morning to see what the next hot cut will be on the runways in Milan and Paris! (Hint: next season, Gisele Bündchen’s gonna have a bald spot….)
I would like to point out, by the way, how sad it is that you know *ANYTHING* about how Britney Spears is doing, let alone who she’s buddied up with. She’s so last millenium.
The only reason I know *ANYTHING* about Paris is because she spent three hours weeping in my lap after I told her that I wouldn’t make a sex video with her. Regular sob-fest…spilled her guts…her chihuahua was spinning in circles with worry….
Cool people, you see, don’t make sex videos. They make bass fishing videos. Ask any homosexual hairdresser. Tell ‘im “Pookie” sent you.
Puritan1648 on November 29, 2006 at 12:02 PM
I wonder wat publick skool she went too?
Hey, but isn’t the thought that truly counts. At least is is not as cold-hearted as Britney or Paris.
Wuptdo on November 29, 2006 at 12:12 PM
I spurted my diet soda onto my keyboard after reading all your comments! Thank you for making my lunch hour an entertaining one!
kiakjones on November 29, 2006 at 12:57 PM
Straight As? Straight A’s?
Which is it? There is no possessive, so how could it be A’s. But A’s looks better, and is more readable. Is this one of those rules that we can break?
As for drunk skank Lohan, nobody is surprised, or even cares, that this loss is illiterate and addled. The crime would be that her “teachers” gave her passing grades, in any subject. I wonder if that’s true?
Jaibones on November 29, 2006 at 1:04 PM
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