Buddhist monk sheds himself of earthly cares, penis

posted at 6:13 pm on November 25, 2006 by Allahpundit

He’d had his heart broken one too many times and gave up on women. Which of us wouldn’t do the same, my friends? Which of us hasn’t done the same?

No, I’m kidding. He’s a religious nut.

Your quote of the year: “Prawing declined to comment on the monk’s erection.”

Blowback

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“…because he had an erection during meditation…” Makes one wonder what he was meditating on. Allah, is the picture you chose inclined to make us think “cut off his nose to spite his face”?

thedecider on November 25, 2006 at 6:25 PM

You say he’s a religious nut? That’s about all he has couple left…

JetBoy on November 25, 2006 at 6:26 PM

Ok meditation is about self-control right… So control of ones self by amputation, well I think that cheating.

Gwillie on November 25, 2006 at 6:26 PM

Hmmmmmm……. This could explain the existence of Janet Reno.

GT on November 25, 2006 at 6:34 PM

Frank Herbert may have been thinking of a case like this when he made one of his characters say, “Only as Shai Hulud does the sandworm command his own destruction.”

Kralizec on November 25, 2006 at 6:35 PM

Did his self-control peter out?
I wonder if the media will stroke this story?

My punchlines have been snipped and cut short.

Black Adam on November 25, 2006 at 6:36 PM

Does Halliburton own Viagra?

Zorro on November 25, 2006 at 6:47 PM

The ultimate whack-off story.

laelaps on November 25, 2006 at 6:48 PM

If thine eye offend thee, pluck it out.

see-dubya on November 25, 2006 at 6:54 PM

A little gaffers tape and no one would have been the wiser.

seejanemom on November 25, 2006 at 7:02 PM

What do I have to do? Whack a guy? off a guy? Whack off a guy, cause I’m married!!

x95b10 on November 25, 2006 at 7:05 PM

Yeah,that morning wood makes early prayers , uh ,difficult.

bbz123 on November 25, 2006 at 7:15 PM

….all your punchlines belong to us!!!!

Please, no more Janet Reno comments on a thread about cuts-off-dick topics. It’s too real, man, it’s too real…..

Janos Hunyadi on November 25, 2006 at 7:29 PM

BANGKOK (Reuters) – A Thai Buddhist monk cut off his penis with a machete because he had an erection during meditation and declined to have it reattached, saying he had renounced all earthly cares, a doctor and a newspaper said on Wednesday.

Oh the irony if he had shot it off, given the location.

fogw on November 25, 2006 at 7:41 PM

I don’t get why he wanted to become a Democrat.

Rosetta on November 25, 2006 at 7:52 PM

No more spanking the monkey.

Rosetta on November 25, 2006 at 7:55 PM

Hey, congratulations on giving up all your Earthly delights, good luck taking your next piss.

Savage on November 25, 2006 at 8:01 PM

Rosetta, the monk can still spank monkeys, he just can’t whack off or……..oh, wait, now I get it

–never mind

Janos Hunyadi on November 25, 2006 at 8:01 PM

Did he shake someone’s hand?

(if you read Steyn’s, American Alone , you’ld get the reference)

StuLongIsland on November 25, 2006 at 8:20 PM

Makes one wonder what he was meditating on.

thedecider on November 25, 2006 at 6:25 PM

Last night’s episode of Ugly Betty?

infidel4life on November 25, 2006 at 9:21 PM

Tis the millenia of religeous extremism.

Egfrow on November 25, 2006 at 10:28 PM

…declined to comment on the monk’s erection…

…the guy who wrote the copy for this article can now retire. He’s introduced the perfect nonsequitur into his prose.

“The president declines to comment on the monk’s erection”. “Senator Clinton declines to comment on the monk’s erection”. “Medical science declines to comment on Ms. Reno’s date’s erection.”

This thread needed the “red meat” graphic. I’ll leave it at that.

The thing that I wonder about is…er…the leverage.

It was a machete, right? Unless he’s a Theravedan Johnny Wad, with arms like an NBA forward, his…amputated chakra…er…his “third eye”, so to speak, and its position and the length of his arms…well…er…he couldn’t exactly get a running start, if you know what I mean.

…oh, well…if the meditation doesn’t work out, he can try impressionist painting.

Puritan1648 on November 25, 2006 at 11:07 PM

Please, no more Janet Reno comments on a thread about cuts-off-dick topics. It’s too real, man, it’s too real….. — Janos Hunyadi

…”Our Janet” deals more in shrivelling than in amputation. You still have it, but she puts you off using it.

Janet Reno is penile kryptonite.

Puritan1648 on November 25, 2006 at 11:23 PM

Couldn’t let go, could you, 1648?

I ask for no Janet Reno ( a modest request ) and I get…..the Miami Wookie. But I do appreciate the geometry lesson on Cutting Off One’s Own Johnson With a Machete

My guess is that he had to

1 ) lean backwards while standing
2 ) start sawing with the hand not holding the…… appendage

Janos Hunyadi on November 25, 2006 at 11:57 PM

Janos Hunyadi on November 25, 2006 at 11:57 PM

We’re now delving into the inconceivable – at least as far as I’m concerned. I’m queasy and I’m leaving now.

However:

Janet Reno is penile kryptonite.

Puritan1648 on November 25, 2006 at 11:23 PM

Quite funny!

thedecider on November 26, 2006 at 12:09 AM

But I do appreciate the geometry lesson on Cutting Off One’s Own Johnson With a Machete — Janos Hunyadi

…J-man…you’re just an engineer at heart….

…so….

…how would you solve the anti-machete, springy-thingy recoil problem?

I mean, it may be a woody, but it isn’t actually wood. It isn’t just going to *STAND* there and let you hit it.

*SPROING* “HEY!”, says the put-upon penis, “who’s disturbing *MY* meditation? Time to duck and dodge!” *SPROING*

Puritan1648 on November 26, 2006 at 12:16 AM

inconceivable, thedecider, but obviously do-able

unless the Thai media, like ours, just makes sh*t up

I mean, you know, I ain’t seen any photo-graphs yet….

Janos Hunyadi on November 26, 2006 at 12:26 AM

Was Cindy Sheehan visiting?

Viper1 on November 26, 2006 at 7:00 AM

Gilbert Gottfried (as Prince Charles’ girlfriend Camille)- “I haven’t been this excited since my first erection!”

Coronagold on November 26, 2006 at 10:14 AM

What’s up with the pic? Is that supposed to be the monk? If so, I would say that anyone who has a scrotum for a nose has my permission to rearrange his other parts if he wants to?

smellthecoffee on November 26, 2006 at 10:25 AM

To have it re-attached, now that would have been re’dick’useless………

Has anyone seen Lorena Bobbit?

I know Monks give up their worldy names, but has anyone seen Buddy Hackett?

Is there a video of this? perhaps the “uncut” version…

What an unlucky fellow, when I have an inappropiate erection I talk it down….but Monks take a vow of silence right?

A cock story, only in Bangkok

ritethinker on November 26, 2006 at 12:28 PM

If thine eye offend thee, pluck it out.
see-dubya on November 25, 2006 at 6:54 PM

What part of EYE are you confusing with PENIS?

The 35-year-old monk, whose name was withheld for privacy reasons,

At this point I think privacy would be the least of his concerns. I mean,everyone who lives in his village certainly knows that he cut his schwang off, right! It’s probably the talk of the town. When he shows up somebody’s bound to say, “Hey, isn’t that One Cut Low?”

Soothsayer on November 26, 2006 at 5:02 PM